WALL GRIMM

I used to be Valente Grimani.  At 18 I legally changed my name.  I turned 24 on August 9th, 2013.  My mother brings me from a heritage of Siciliani Romani.  My father comes from a family of prosperity left behind generations ago.  My name is Wall Grimm and the following pages are the recorded evidence of my existence.

THIS IS A DRAWING I DID OF MYSELF:

wall-grimm-sketch[1]

Once upon a time Grimm was bitten by a Zombie.  Then he became a Zombie too.  He thought that was really weird and both sucked and was also awesome.

THESE ARE THE RULES ABOUT BEING A ZOMBIE:

DO’S:

1.  Eat flesh

2.  Eat brains

3.  Moan

4.  Stagger

5.  Follow in hordes

6.  Look stupid

7.  Remember how to use doorknobs

8.  Wear a helmet

DONT’S:

1.  Get yourself mutilated

2.  Be the first in a horde to get to a victim with a gun

untitled[1]

THIS IS MY SHANTY SONG:

Captain Grimm had too much to drink

Captain Grimm is on the brink

Captain Grimm can’t even think

of anything else that rhymes with drink

and he doesn’t know of a shanty song

he’s kind of a pirate but he belongs

more with a caravan traveling long

and far, and not in a car

yeah he’s a little drunk

a fucking little punk

writing a dumb poem in the third person

captain-grimm[1]

MY NAME IS WALL GRIMM AND…

I LIKE:

I like pizza, beaches, camping, woods, animals, nature, rivers, oceans, blow jobs, sex, igloos, coffee, books, friends, traveling, psychic ability, MST3K, lots of different kinds of music, tattoos, girls with tongue rings, hot air balloons, The Kids in the Hall, social media, book stores, libraries, college, running, skiing, going to clubs, watching girls dance, smoking cigarettes, dinosaurs, Einstein, Dr. Who, MythBusters, Kari on MythBusters, I really like Kari on MythBusters, masturbating, masturbating and Kari on MythBusters, Emma, Edgar Allan Poe, being a Gypsy, Stephen King, hearses, morticians, mantids, egg nog, monsters, movies, Halloween, boxer briefs, bikini briefs, helicopters, train rides, the Red Sox, the Patriots, the Bruins, concerts, street performers, magicians, Santa Claus, hot showers, people, being high…

I DON’T LIKE:

I don’t like being high, social media, friends, college, smoking cigarettes, bikini briefs, the Yankees, the Celtics, Santa Claus, the Great Pumpkin, cold showers, stupid people, people who piss me off, rude people, superficial people, politics, condoms, child abuse, animal abuse, global warming, space travel freaks me out, Uncle Dan, the shadowy guy, suicide, being caught pissing in the woods by other hikers, the smell of shit, when other people fart in my apartment, eggs, pork, onions, toenails, being poor, needing a job, not having a girlfriend, being American (sometimes I think if I only had some kind of accent, my entire life would be completely different), and girls who become stalkers…

THIS IS MY PHILOSOPHY OF INTENTION:

When someone is a good person and it’s not in that person’s nature to purposely hurt someone, yet they do by accident, you can’t really get mad at that person.  That person’s intentions are usually good, so that’s what matters.  Just tell the person that what they did hurt you, and they will feel badly and try to be more aware next time.

MY NAME IS WALL GRIMM AND I AM…

a cowboy constable, threatening harpist blues punk pain in the ass who doesn’t need as much advice as some people think.  I’m a pain in the ass gypsy known as Valente Spirto, Valspirto, Valente, and sex.  I’m a boy toy, kept boy, badboy, a constructive and destructive force of fire.  I’m shelter and a patriarch.  I am a challenging consumer with evil spirits ready for my beckon call.  I’m a nice guy, best friend, a pet, and a potentially obsessed symbolism attributor.  I’m a chew toy, a dick, a god, and an annoying fuck who deserves chairs smashed over his head.  I’m the guy in the kilt, the kilted cowboy gunslinger, an unpredictable, sometimes dangerous guy, usually reckless, but quiet and antisocial.  I’m the go-to reliable guy, a loser, a gypsy pagan great guy to have around for Beltane.  And though I’m cool, I’m the guy who farts noxious fumes in class.  I’m the hot older guy, a lost cause, and I’m sometimes liked.  I am Grimm.  I am Wall Grimm.

That is an amalgam of what other people think of me.  All summed up like that, excluding some people, their opinions, some more positive perspectives, or my own thoughts of myself….well, I guess that might just make me a good writer in the end.  Either that or I’ll die alone.  Maybe both.

THIS IS A SONG I DEDICATE TO EMMA:

[Wall Grimm Picture  the drawing of Wall Grimm was in response to his greatest fan’s request to know what he looked like.  http://mentalnotes1.wordpress.com/  (all drawings sketch by Sage Doyle).]

11 Comments

11 thoughts on “WALL GRIMM

  1. Pingback: Grimm Pages | SageDoyle

  2. Hi Sage, thanks for the follow. Your blog is intriguing and deserves a lot of time to explore it, which I shall enjoy doing! SD

  3. Kev

    Great post, Sage! Gives a lot of insight into Wall Grimm :)

  4. Hi Sage,
    You win the award for using fuck the most times in a post. You shattered my number. I’m enjoying the new story, trying to read previous post. I can’t get over how creative you are and without drugs. Sounds like you may have a book in your future. Have a great evening. :) Thanks for coming by yesterday.

    • hahahaa! The first thing I thought of was “Goodfellas” which is the movie that had the most, I don’t know if another film has since broken that record. Anyway, that’s awesome, because I love that word, so I’ll carry that honor proudly. And thanks for the compliment. I’ve tried to write while on drugs or drinking way back when, and unless it was poetry, the writing really sucked, and even the poetry was weird. So I can only write with a clear mind :) Good morning to you.

      • A clear mind and a filthy mouth! Yes, I know the movie well. My drug days are so far behind me I’m forgetting how they were. I was a teenage drug abuser. At 51 now, my memories start to fade. Now if they made it legal in Texas I might give it a go. Then I’d have to eat a bag of Doritos!!!!Take care. You’re to funny. The talent you have at such a young age is impressive. :)

        • Yeah, I barely even drink anymore, especially within the last year. I don’t do any drugs anymore. The last time I got high was with my cousin. We were in the middle of a conversation and I just stopped and said, “um, I think I’m stupid.” I was trying to make sense and be smart about it, but failed. He said, “I’m stupid too.” And we laughed. And that was my last time.
          Anyway, thanks so much for the compliments, you’re awesome. :)

          • Then drove to corner store and bought two supersize drinks and two bags of Doritos!!!!!!! :)

          • lol actually no, I never really got the munchies much when I smoked, it just made me want to drink more alcohol and smoke more cigarettes.

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