Posts Tagged With: meeting

A Special News Report from WGRM Boston – Hasty is Out of Control

I apologize to all my readers that I haven’t been able to respond to comments or visit your blogs, but Hasty has been a huger responsibility than I could imagine.  We spent the entire day in Boston yesterday, and by entire day I mean just about 11 hours.  It started out fine, but then Hasty went completely nuts and hijacked the Duck Boat while we were in the middle of the Charles River.

hasty hijacks the duck boat

If you look down in the right corner you can see the tour guide’s hand in a gesture as if to calm her down.

Then she and HastyKid, who is too smart to be a real kid, I think she’s some kind of adult freak of nature Betty Button or something, they conspired to blackmail me and expose my identity to the world for a million bagillion dollars, which I don’t have.  I tried to compromise with them, but they went mad and began to bully little children off the carousel in the Common.

hasty and kid carousel

Somehow we made it home safely, still with talks about black mail.  It’s now the early morning hours and they are asleep and she doesn’t know that I’m blogging to implore you people for help.  But first, let me tell you my real identity, before she has a chance to.  My real name is Guido Idiota Fettucine.  My son is Alfredo Fettucine.  My wife is Marie Jean D’Arc Marie Marie Marie Babette Fettucine, maiden name Soufflé.  She’s Canadian.  And she’s not even from the French speaking region, so yeah her name’s a little strange.

Anyway, Hasty doesn’t know I’m posting this.  It was literally an 11 hour day, great day in Boston and we’ll be posting more about it sometime soon.  But the truth about Hasty is that she’s an incredible sweetheart and beautiful person.  And speaking of beauty, she was still looking good after we got caught in a near down pour while we were on the swan boat ride in the Public Garden.  But I’ll be polite about that.  I did offer her my jacket but she didn’t want it.

Then there’s her daughter, who truly does have a very sophisticated wit.  She’s got a great personality and she’s hysterical.  She’s also a great house guest.  HastyKid is very polite and cleans up after herself, puts her dishes in the sink, and she’s just a pleasure to have around the house.  Hasty is a fantastic mother and she has done well with this little girl.  I’m sure HastyHusband had something to do with that too, because HastyKid expresses often that she misses him and every now and then I get the sense that she’s a little homesick, which is expected when a kid is away from a good home.

I guess that’s it for now.  As I said, I’ll be by catching up, and then some, once this adventure comes to an end.  It may take some time, but I won’t let you down.

In the meanwhile, stay tuned….


Categories: HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 41 Comments

Welcome Hasty! And HastyKid Too!

Met Hasty and her daughter outside the gate at Logan airport this afternoon, gave them each a hug like they were old friends, and Hasty told me I was gorgeous, so it was great all around.  It is the hottest day of the year yet at 91 degrees and at least 75 % humidity.  So after getting her baggage and leaving the airport, a spontaneous stop at Walden Pond was nice but a little rough.  All of Hasty’s makeup melted off her face and I could feel sweat dripping down my back as I forced her to walk part way around the path to visit the original site of Thoreau’s cabin.  This is after we visited the cabin replica and signed in the guest registry.

walden pond guests

I was just reminded that I also took them on this semi-adventure when they had little sleep and we were all starving for lunch.  Go figure, it was 2pm.

Anyway, we made it to the cabin site and here are Hasty and HastyKid on the hearth:

hasty and kid

I took this pic of the pond before we left to head home:

waldon pond

When we arrived at my place we made sandwiches and salad and went to my own little pond.  Then we visited my neighbor and the kitten she is fostering, which we will probably have joint custody of:

hasty and kitty

And now the kids are inside playing games while we’re sitting out blogging together.  It’s cooled down and there’s a nice breeze.  Oh and yeah, some more disclosure as I gradually expose more and more of myself, I have a son.  I wasn’t going to mention it, but it seems he’s going to be a big part of this journey, especially since he made the sign for Hasty and HastyKid for when we met them at the airport.  I think Hasty’s posting a picture of that.

I guess that’s all.  I’m trying to get her drunk but she’s refusing to have more than one glass of wine.  Nah, that’s not true.  She only had one glass but I’d never purposely get her drunk.  That would have to be her own choice.

So there you have it.  More to come soon.


P.S.  I blogged first Hasty ;)

Categories: HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON | Tags: , , , , , , | 19 Comments

“The Journal of Sage Doyle” De-spidahfying for Hasty and Mass Orientation

June 20, 2014


All right well Hasty posted her take on her upcoming visit up here in Boston, and so now it’s my turn to document mine.  It feels very strange for me to befriend someone online to the extent that I would invite the person to come and stay in my home.  Every time I ever heard of such a situation I thought, “those people are nuts”.  I guess I’m nuts.  I tend to have good instincts though.  Besides, I’m picking her up at the airport, so if while I’m waiting for the image on the blog to get off the plane, instead a 7 foot tall guy with tattoos featuring tales of dismemberment approaches as if to confess he’s the real Hasty, I’ll have to leave the airport without her.  Or him, if that was the case.  Obviously, the situation must be much more frightening for Hasty, since she’s flying about 1700 miles away from home to a city she’s never been to before, to meet a stranger from the internet, and stay in his home.  She sounds more nuts than me, right?

But when I think about it, I know I’m harmless, so I’m not concerned about her, but I don’t know her really, so there’s always that question in the back of my mind, “am I doing something that I will regret?”  Then my instincts kick in again, and I’m not bothered by it at all.  Essentially, the instincts overrule the hesitancy, since if the opposite were true, then I wouldn’t be inviting her to begin with.  For the most part, I feel like we’re old friends and that we’ve known each other for ages, I just haven’t seen her for a while.  So it was interesting to read her perspective when she said she felt as if I was a cousin that she’s never met before.

Anyway, other than the natural reservations that come up in this kind of situation, I wonder about other things.  Will she enjoy the trip?  Will she like my home?  She says she feels as if she’s going to meet a celebrity, so will she be disappointed?  Not that I want her to continue to feel that way, but it’d be great if we got along, because what if we hate each other?  Will she think I’m a slob?  Nah, never mind that last one.  This place is clean because it had to be de-spidahfied, since Hasty doesn’t like spiders.  I tend to get a lot of spiders.  Maybe that’s my fault since I catch them and put them outside, so it’s probably just one spider and he’s fucking with me.  But yeah, I hope she’s not disappointed and regretful.

I asked her what kind of food she likes to eat, and she said she doesn’t really eat anything but she’s been into eggs lately.  Ok, that sounds simple.  Stock my fridge with eggs.  We’ll be out and about doing stuff a lot anyway.  The following are some of the things we’ve discussed as possible ventures out.  My name is Sage Doyle and these are plans we discussed, not listed in any particular order:


1.  Since I don’t live directly in Boston, we’ll spend a day there, definitely go to the Common, I can show her Cheers from the tv show, Quincy Market/Faneuil Hall, Fenway, we can walk the Freedom trail, etc. etc…

2.  We will go to Salem, probably the same day as Boston, if we get to Boston early enough.  Salem’s pretty small.  There are some shops and a couple of museums like the Witch Museum and The House of Seven Gables.

3.  We plan to go to the beach one day, tons of beaches to choose from, but I have one in mind, maybe.

4.  We’ll definitely go out for some lobster, especially since there’s the best lobster around here and it’s cheaper than if you get it in Maine.  I don’t eat lobster anymore but I know Hasty likes it.

5.  I’d like to take her for a trail hike, and I’d also like to drive her to the top of a mountain so we can have a picnic lunch.  I don’t think she’s hiked mountains much, so we’ll only hike it if she wants to, but not if she won’t enjoy it.

6.  I’d like to kind of take her around and see the local area, some of the small New England towns, old cemeteries.  If there is time we could go to Walden Pond and the DeCordova Museum.

Basically there’s tons of stuff around here, with little time for us to do a fraction of it.  When Hasty did the research, she was dumbfounded, I think, at how much there is surrounding my location.  I love it here for that reason.  I could go to any of the New England States in under 8 hours, 4 hours for New York or an hour if I take the commuter plane from Boston, 8 hours for Pennsylvania, or 5ish hours to Canada.  These are rough time estimates, from my memory of making those trips.  I haven’t done that in a while.

So Hasty and I tossed out some of the main ideas as mentioned above, and we’ll kind of just go with the flow.  Obviously we need to fit in some time to relax and get to know each other and do a couple blog posts.  I’ll have the privilege of doing a poetic duet with Hasty in person.  That’s wicked awesome.  Oh yeah, maybe Hasty will leave here with the word “wicked” as a part of her vocabulary.  Also, she may learn why not only are we referred to as “Massholes” but we also proudly display bumper stickers that simply say “Masshole”.  On that note, I just realized that I have to take her to Dunkin’ Donuts.  There’s a Dunkin’ Donuts on practically every corner of every street in every town and city of Massachusetts.  That’s only a slight exaggeration.  I’ve been to Dunkin’ Donuts in other states and it’s not quite the same.  I can’t remember what state it was, but I went to one and asked for a medium regular.  They gave me a black coffee.  I asked, “where’s the cream and sugar?”  They pointed to a self serving station.  I was like, “you mean I have to put it in myself?”  It was culture shock for me.  I was baffled.  In many of the New England towns there are building codes, so Dunkin’ Donuts designed a structure to meet those codes in order to get into those towns.  DD also is sure to set up shop not far from many campgrounds.  I remember reading an article, which who knows if this is true or not, but Ben Affleck was filming a movie in his home state of Massachusetts and wanted to do a scene in a DD.  Someone suggested a Starbuck’s because that’s THE place for coffee.  Affleck responded with something like, this is Massachusetts, it’s got to be a Dunkin’s.  Maybe you have to be from Mass to know that.

So yeah, I guess Hasty will know things about me that I’ve been secretive about.  I don’t conceal facts about myself to be deceptive or anything, it’s only just because I’m a very private person.  What once started as a penname has become an identity, which was not anticipated and is kind of strange, kind of fascinating.  My personality shouldn’t be a surprise though, since I’m pretty much as you see me here.

I don’t know how Hasty does it with all the links she included in her post, that’s so freakin’ time consuming and greatly appreciated.  I think she pretty much covered our online collaborations and her character in Grimm though.  And since she has over 13,000 followers, I’m pretty sure that those of you who are following me are following her too.  But if that’s not the case then be sure to go on over and visit her blog.  She’s a sensitive person who is intensely passionate about her beliefs and ideals.  She’s a profound poet and what I perceive as a very genuine soul.  I feel honored that she trusts the idea of me so much, that she has chosen me to visit, of all the bloggers.  Definitely an honor that I’m looking forward to.

I’ll close out with a video, maybe for Hasty’s benefit, maybe just for the hell of it, but it’s classic, maybe only appreciated by Massholes:

Shit Boston Guys (Massholes) Say


Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | Tags: , , , , , , , | 15 Comments


Well, I reblogged this on my Sage Doyle blog and it wouldn’t let me reblog it twice, including here, so I copied and pasted the entire post from  I’ll be doing PART TWO in a couple days.  I don’t think it will be as good as Hasty’s though, so that’s a fair warning to you, and hopefully that will encourage you to read her post below and visit her blog as well.  Here it is:



I am about to do something I NEVER thought I would do.  I am about to fly to Boston to stay with a blogger I have never met.  At first, I was super excited but then the reality hit me.  I don’t even know the bloggers real name or where exactly he lives.  Will he pick me up at the airport take me back to his lovely place, where once inside, all the windows will have metal shades that will start to close and doors that will swing shut violently and lock?  Have I lost my mind?  To express my sentiments more clearly I have written a little poem about how I felt using the lyrical framework of “I will survive”.

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking have I lost my mind
befriending you like this
I’ve spent so many days
thinking how I’d pull this off
And I grew strong
And I decided to play along
and so I’m going
from my cozy space
I just purchased my airline ticket
anticipating the first time I’ll see your face
I should have done a background check
I should have at least asked for your address
If I had known I’d be this crazy
I’d have prepared less frantically
So here I come, to Boston
To late to turn around now
Especially, since there are no ticket refunds
Please don’t murder me, or kill me with a knife
Because I will crumble
I’ll freak out before I’d die

Oh no, no please
Don’t murder me
I really want to live
I want to survive

Oh no, no please
Don’t murder me
I really want to live
I want to survive

In all seriousness though, I feel like I am going to stay with a celebrity.  I am going to meet Sage Doyle, the author of my favorite online story, The Journal of Wall Grimm.  I am really not worried at all about staying with Sage because I feel like I am going to go visit a cousin I have never met. Once I get there we plan on writing a few posts together but I thought it would be good to reintroduce him to everyone. I am giving everyone a cheat sheet of links so it is easy to catch up on our friendship.

There are several links to The Journal Wall Grimm story because Sage wrote me in as a character some time back as a thank you for being such a HUGE fan.  There is a character index, which I find super clever on Sage’s part, where you can read all the times Hasty visits Grimm.  There are too many to list here which is a testament to our friendship.  Anyway, if you get time you should read the entire journal because it is super, super good. Without further adieu… I present to you Sage Doyle.

Journal Entries

The first time Hasty meets Grimm

Getting tattoos

Post 1 of 11 – Road Trip

Our snow fort

Hasty’s Birthday 

A Hasty and Grimm Poem

The Moore Tornado

Swimming naked

Special agents


Ode to Hasty


Summer Soul

Our Poem


Finding Life

The Orchard


And as a final note, in an effort to answer all the emails I will get.  Sage has a beautiful wife that I am anxious to meet.  It is very possible to have friends of the opposite sex. I hope you enjoy our friendship over the next several weeks.

Categories: HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON | Tags: , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

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