Posts Tagged With: boston

Hasty and HastyKid Return to Oklahoma

Hasty and I decided to write our final posts individually, so here it is, my last post about Hasty’s visit up to Boston.  Writing about her going home brings a little sadness reflective of driving her to the airport and the inevitable goodbye.

Hasty and HastyKid returned to Oklahoma on June 29th.  We talked about my possibly visiting the Hasty’s with my family at some point.  She says there’s nothing there, but I’m sure we’d have a good time no matter what.

Before I talk about her departure, there’s someone I forgot to mention.  When we were at Hampton, I found a toy soldier in the sand at our spot on the beach.  I was excited to find the soldier and put him in my pocket to take home.  But, um, I forgot him in my pocket and he went through the washer and dryer, and now, not only is he an amputee, but he also has a flaccid weapon:


Sorry, man.

Anyway, Hasty honored me with a copy of her book, Depression’s Dance, which she signed for me:

hasty's book         inscription

As you can see, she inscribed it to “Sage”.  She asked me if I wanted her to write it out to my real name or my penname, but it seemed fitting for her to sign it to my penname.  “Sage” has become the name which is highly depictive of my true self, the essence of who I am.  Taking on the penname has helped me to find myself in many ways, as I have been otherwise anonymous and have had interactions without physical appearance or nonverbal behavior dictating those interactions, human involvement strictly through words alone.  As a writer and a person, it’s been a fascinating and unanticipated journey.  Also, during Hasty’s visit, she and HastyKid called me Sage, which I really liked.  Sometimes I think it might have taken me a moment to respond if I was occupied with something.  I also referred to Hasty as Hasty, and it was a struggle to introduce her to people using her real name.  HastyKid I referred to by her real name and my son called her Junior.  “What’s in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Anyway, the morning we brought her to the airport, we all got up at 3:30 am and left by 4.  We made our second trip to Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee and breakfast.  The first was the day we went to Boston.  You can’t visit Massachusetts and not go to a Dunkin’ Donuts.  Along the way, we sang Green Day, or at least I did.  At some point we were talking about sports and activities the kids were involved in throughout their lives.  This may have taken place on another day, however I do recall that on the trip to the airport, Hasty told us that once during a soccer game HastyKid was playing, a hot air balloon landed in the middle of their field.  Later when we were leaving from the airport, we saw hot air balloons flying above the highway, so I photographed them and texted them to Hasty.

Here is Hasty and HastyKid at the airport.  It’s a little blurry, but everything was happening so fast.  It was very sad and difficult to say goodbye, and we all still miss them.


Hasty sent me this picture of HastyKid on the airplane wearing a Boston sweatshirt and reading “Make Way for Ducklings”, which is a children’s book about a police officer who stopped traffic in order to allow a mother duck and her ducklings to cross a busy Boston street safely.  It’s based on a true story and while in Boston, we visited the little statues of the ducklings at the Public Garden.  I bought HastyKid the book while we were at the airport and I was glad to hear that she loved the book and read it a couple times on the plane.

HK make way for ducklings

And as I said, while my family and I were heading home from the airport, we saw these hot air balloons, which reminded me of Hasty and HastyKid drifting away from us on their journey home.  It was a beautiful symbol, but again very sad.

hot air balloons

It was an incredible connection I believe we had, and Hasty left with us all a little in love with her, and wanting more.

Thanks for visiting Hasty and HastyKid, come back soon.

Categories: HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

A Bit of New England and Photographing Body Parts



Day three I woke up late with HastyKid laying on my arm drooling and snoring. We slept so well and so hard every night and this day we got to sleep in and HastyKid needed it. Sage was full throttle when we finally made it downstairs. He makes really yummy banana pancakes and we all laughed at his silliness when he made little tiny pancakes, touting them as a European portion.

mini pancakes by hasty

Before I forget Sage and Sage Jr also made us a batch of Lavender Lemonade that was both extremely delicious and very colorful. And the morning before the beach we had scones and eggs he cooked just for us. HastyKid is kind of an egg freak. Sage made the scones blueberry which is my favorite kind of berry… so yea it was yummolishess.

Wifey Sage had some business to take care of so she stayed home while Sage drove us around. First he took us winding around to the top of a mountain. I took this picture of his leg.

sage leg

Sage Jr did a little bit of rock climbing and at one point HastyKid dropped a shoe over the side of a lookout tower.

hastykid  lookout

Oh, and we also passed a really cool guy playing bagpipes. The sound was absolutely beautiful.


After the mountain we went to meet Sage’s parents for lunch. He grew up in a storybook home that HastyKid and I fell in love with. Sage’s parents were awesome and we had a wonderful lunch together. We also made S’mores with really, really, really long sticks because HastyKid was afraid of getting too close. And then I felt up his mom. I can still feel her butt in my hand as if it were yesterday. I didn’t mean to but she is taller than I realized, so I guess now we have bonded in a way she will never forget.

We left Sage’s childhood home and headed to a park where the Zombie Picnic took place in The Journal Of Wall Grimm. I will let Sage tell this part of the story because I never remember the names of any of the mountains or parks. It was a really cool park though.

My favorite part of the day though was just driving around seeing the country side and the cute little New England towns. We visited a place called the Old Mill and saw some New England stone walls. I also loved how we listened to John Denver as we drove around the mountains and to some Italian music as we drove around the country side.


To end the day we went to a small carnival. The kids rode a few rides, played some games and we all had fried dough (which is super tasty).

fried dough

I rode the big pirate boat with Sage Jr which was a blast. We sat at the very end with only one other person on the other far end. I kept raising my arms screaming and would tickle Sage Jr every time he dared to raise his arms. I kept trying to get the guy who ran the ride to just hop in but he was very dedicated to his job. He even let us ride again for free.

We ordered pizza on our way home and crashed. It was a long glorious day and we were beat. Sage and I sat drinking wine and getting to know each other which was really good and then we all played apples to apples.

I am so very, very glad I spent my vacation visiting Sage Doyle and I can’t wait to see him and his family again. I miss them everyday!


First I want to say that Hasty actually cooked the eggs.  I got them started.  I was very proud of myself for cracking them open into the pan without breaking the yolks, but I’m really bad at flipping them without breaking them, so I passed the torch aka spatula to Hasty to do the honors.

My parents’ house is like a bed and breakfast.  We moved there when I was five.  They tried to sell it when my sister and I were in high school, but we got depressed about it so they took it off the market.

We built a fire at their house, burning a bunch of my old bills, and here is a picture of my s’mores, or smores, or s’more, or smore, (we were trying to figure out if one is a smore or a smores, if smores is also singular).


These are Hasty’s toes while we were sitting on the swing.

hasty toes

Most of our day was spent in North Central Massachusetts.  I’m familiar with the Peninsula, Coastal, Eastern, Northern, and Western, MA, but not very familiar with the South Central part of the state.  I wanted to take Hasty to see some small New England towns that weren’t coastal port towns, but I didn’t want to travel as far as Western, MA since we wanted to be sure to have enough time in our day.  As Hasty said, I took them to the location that I envisioned when I wrote “The Journal of Wall Grimm 109: The Zombie Picnic“.  I don’t think I mention the name of the place in the post, but I went there often as a kid.  It’s Coggshall Park, and when I was writing the post, I remembered this park and envisioned a certain area where there was a huge stone table.  So that’s where I set the zombie picnic.  Here’s Hasty on the table:

zombie picnic 2

And here she is under the table, and no we weren’t drinking:

zombie picnic 1

At the carnival, my son won at a game and he picked out this pig as his prize:


We laughed at the unfortunate looking creature, which was kind of pathetic, not so much like a pig, but at least now he has a good home.

When we got home, it was great to finally sit and have a conversation with Hasty.  We sat outside on my patio drinking my favorite cheap red wine, Carlo Rossi Paisano.  But the kids kept coming out and saying that we promised to play Apples to Apples with them.  We kept saying ok, give us ten more minutes.  One of the funniest things HastyKid did was at a point when both kids were out, both agreed to ten more minutes, then my son went inside to oblige us.  There was a moment of silence and then HastyKid broke out into song.  She sang, “Memories, all alone in the moonlight…”  She’s got the soul of a classic comedienne, I still laugh about that.

Before going in to play, Hasty and I began taking various pictures of my various body parts in order to post them.  Mostly we photographed my hands and then parts of my face through the wine glass.  The face images came out bizarre and distorted, kind of like Picassos.  And there must have been something with the lighting because a lot of the hand pics came out lumpy and old looking.

Obviously there’s a lot that’s a challenge for everyone to fully appreciate as they read, which is why I just reviewed my list of “had to be there” moments from the post, “Levitation, Groping, and Baggy Camo Pants” on Hasty’s blog, and I now have decided not to describe those moments.  They wouldn’t make much sense or be very funny to anyone else.  But here’s one, since I documented it, I might as well subject you to it.  When my family and I play Apples to Apples, we always read the green cards at the end of the game and say it’s supposed to describe us.  I did it in a Grimm post once.  But here are the cards Hasty, the kids, and I got.  I think some of the words are pretty accurate, but I wonder about others.

Hasty – absurd, addictive, dirty, exquisite, irritating, unusual, wild

HastyKid – nasty, foreign, violent, principled, dramatic, awesome

Sage Jr. – miserable, filthy, cowardly, dead, dainty, corrupt, juicy, rough, intense, cute, mystical, obnoxious

Sage – desperate, unhealthy, neat, quiet, selfish, cosmic, brilliant, courageous, exciting, magical

All of mine are accurate by the way, except desperate, unhealthy, and selfish.  Of course.

Categories: HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 138 Comments

The Hasty Posts and The Return of Wall Grimm

Hasty and I have two more posts planned with regards to her visit with me up here around Boston.  I may add a third one spontaneously if there’s more I want to say.  Anyway, since it’s a very busy weekend for me, those posts will resume on Sunday or Monday.  Hopefully that’s all right with Hasty, since she may not know that herself until she reads this post.  But Hasty is very easygoing, as I’ve already established.  Once all the posts are done, I plan to make a category for her visit, including one post with all the links in order, to simplify the archives.

As for Wall Grimm, he will resume once those posts are finished.  I’m sorry he’s been on hold, but I only have the opportunity to write early in the morning when no one else is awake, then my day begins.  Summer’s a busy time for me, but it’s all fun stuff.

Once again, I’d like to apologize for not keeping up consistently with visiting everyone’s blogs I made a dent the other day, and I’ll try to visit when I can over this weekend, but I plan to catch up over the course of next week.

HERE’S A QUESTION FOR FANS OF GRIMM: would you be interested in devising a reason for Grimm’s lack of journaling for two weeks?  I have my own idea, yet I’d consider other scenarios that would fit into his world, and I’d give you credit for the idea.  You can either comment with your ideas below, or email me at  Just something to think about.

Lastly, I want to welcome my new followers.  I’ve gotten quite a few since the Hasty visit and those posts have been going on, so I can only assume a majority of you are coming from Hasty’s blog.  Thanks for coming by and following.  I don’t know how long you plan to stick around, but in case it lasts beyond the Hasty posts, this blog’s true nature is that of the fictional journal of Wall Grimm.  So feel free to ask any questions about what that is and what goes on here.  You don’t need to read the journal from the beginning either, I’d be glad to fill you in so you can start right from the next post.

And that’s all for now, have a great weekend.




Categories: HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON, NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Hasty & Sage ‘Take it Around Town’: The Balloon Jerk, The Monumental Phallus, & Bending Over in Boston

Here Hasty and I finally document our day in Boston, which took place on Thursday, June 26, 2014.  We each write part of the post, Hasty comes first, then me.  So here it is:


Each time we went somewhere Wifey Sage drove so Sage and I could visit.  Hasty Kid sat in the middle in the backseat and we would have time to talk every time we went somewhere.  Wifey Sage and Sage Jr played the DJ and we got to listen to some good music.

Most of the funny stories happened in the car and I can’t remember really what conversations happened when but I do know that my daughter was shy until someone mentioned Sponge Bob.  She loved finding a group of people who knew and loved Sponge Bob as much as she does.  In fact, at one point they all quoted Sponge Bob by saying “Now take it AROooooUuuND town” with the head movement.  It was funny to witness in person.  HK also randomly kept impersonating Christopher Walken by saying, “HI, I’m Crist-O-fer Waaal-kin”.  Sage Jr and HK were becoming fast friends getting to know each other in the car.

Bring it around town video clip

Once we got to Boston we did the Duck Tour which is an 80 minute tour around Boston and continues into the Charles River.  HK was browsing the pamphlet with all the ConDUCKtors and she pointed to Captain Super Swift and said, “I hope we get him!” and guess who we got.  He was awesome.


By the way, the only two words I think that came out of my mouth the whole trip was Awesome and Amazing.  So yea, everything was either awesome or amazing or both.

All of us got a turn driving the boat. HK kept telling the driver her name was Hasty Kid and he didn’t understand so for the rest of the trip we called her Pasty since that is what he thought she said.  Sage Jr  called her Junior the whole trip.

I am going to let Sage tell everyone about the second part of the day because he is so much better at remembering where everything happened but there are a few events he probably won’t mention.

There was a point in the day that Sage took my daughter to get a balloon animal.  The balloon animal guy was a total jerk but Sage remained so beautifully calm and mature whereas I probably would have decked him or at least popped all his balloons.  Well later I did pop a balloon but it was a balloon fiasco :(

While walking part of the freedom trial we ran into a group of guys who wanted Sage to sing with them.  They said, “Dude just sing, all we need is a little patience” and then Sage tried to get me to do it and we settled for just snapping for them lol.  They were really good.  We don’t have street performers in OKC so it is really cool to see people out performing whatever it is they are good at.Leaving Quincy market we stopped to watch some break dancers perform.  They picked Sage and a few others to be in their act.  It was AWESOME and we have it on tape but you can’t see it because there is only one handsome guy standing there with 3 beautiful woman waiting for a skinny black kid to do a flying flip over them all.  I am pretty sure if I included it here you would be able to figure out which one Sage was.  My daughter wanted to give them money so she handed one of the performers a $10 and got embarrassed when the guy announced to his friends and the whole crowd that they just got $10 from a rich white kid.  They were all black with a white drummer so they had a lot of fun with the race jokes.
All in all I would say it was a perfect day!


The duck boat was cool because my family had never done it before.  We’ve never really done tourist-y things in Boston before so it was pretty cool to feel like a tourist at times, even so far as holding a map of the Freedom Trail.  The duck boat was the first thing we did, then we went to the Boston Common to locate the beginning of the Freedom Trail.

We were pretty hungry so we were hoping to find a vendor that was selling more than lemonade, just for something quick to hold us off until we got to Quincy Market where all the real food is (there and the North End).  As we were going to the Frog Pond to show it to Hasty we remembered that they sold food there.  The Frog Pond is a wading pool in the Summer and it’s frozen for ice skating in the Winter.  While we were eating there was a homeless guy who was clearly unstable, exhibiting behavior that was somewhat threatening, or just creepy.  There are a lot of homeless people in Boston, many are veterans, it’s very sad.  For the most part they are harmless.  As we passed one, Hasty told him, since he was a veteran, that he should be very proud.  What a sweetheart.

Anyway, this creepy homeless guy was freaking out HastyKid, so while everyone was still eating I offered to take her to the playground.  We got diverted when we saw a guy making balloon animals and I asked HK if she wanted one.  She said yes she wanted a dog.  Hasty was being polite when she said he was being a jerk.  The guy was a fucking asshole.  I used all my strength to bite my tongue, not just because HK was there but because there were other children there, eventually including my son.  After our kids got their balloon animals, I felt like saying, “you know what, fuck you, you’re a fucking asshole, keep your goddamn balloon animals.”  But I held it in until we were walking away when I began muttering, “that guy was a fucking asshole, what an asshole.”  I was saying this aloud within the kids’ hearing, but I had warned Hasty before she came that I use a lot of colorful colloquialisms.  I’m glad Hasty’s perception of this was that I was “beautifully calm and mature.”  I guess that’s what I exhibited while holding my composure.  Good to know.

The fate of the balloons?  HK’s dog – the balloon leash popped on the Swan Boat.  Later the rest of the dog popped, but I forget where and when, I think at a T station.  The T is what we call the subway in Boston.  My son got a bird, which he eventually gave to a little girl once we returned to Alewife to head home.  She asked where we got the balloon animals and we told her mother the Common.  Then my son ran up to them as they were walking away and gave her the balloon.  He is the nicest kid, he blows me away every single day, I’m very blessed.

Ok, then we went to the carousel, and then to the Public Garden onto the Swan Boat.  Here’s a pic of Hasty on the Swan Boat, just before it started pouring, while we were on the boat.

hasty swan boat

After the ride, we ran from tree to tree to avoid the rain.  We did that all the way to Cheers where we went not to eat but so Hasty could see the outside of the bar, a shot used in the TV show.  We went in to the replica bar upstairs and the gift shop where we got rain ponchos, but it didn’t rain again for the rest of the day.  But now I have a couple Cheers ponchos for when I go camping, which is wicked awesome.

After Cheers we began the Freedom Trail. and walked through the Granary Burying Ground, where Hasty and I became very juvenile borderline disrespectful of the site and the dead.  We’re sorry.

…But John Hancock’s monument looks an awful lot like a penis, especially from behind when we first saw it.  The back has no inscription, but this is the front:

john hancock

Then I read allowed the inscription, “This memorial erected… …John Hancock.

john hancock inscription

I’m sorry.  I very openly admit how immature I can be at times.

Anyway, also in that burial ground is the grave of Samuel Adams, who is a Boston icon not just for historical reasons, but also because of the beer, Sam Adams, which is often ordered around here as a “Sammy’s”.  He actually was a brewer in real life.

sam adams grave

And here’s his statue just outside Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market.

sam adams statue

And here he is again with Diane from Cheers.  You know that whole Sam and Diane thing that the show had going on.  I just feel bad for Frasier, he could never compete with that dynamic.

sam and diane and frasier

On the way to Quincy Market is when I was accosted by the street performers, two guys with guitars, telling me they needed me.  I was like, “you need me??”  “Yeah we need you to sing.”  “Me? Sing? noooo.”  When we were driving Hasty and HastyKid to the airport days later, I realized that they might have gotten me to sing if they were going to play Green Day, as I was singing along with “Basket Case”.  I only sing Green Day.  And some Italian songs.

On the way to QM we also got some roasted nuts from a vendor, which are so good, I can’t describe them.  It’s the favorite thing for me and my son to get these nuts.  Five bucks for a tiny bag, but worth it.

At QM, yep I was pulled in to participate with the street performers as Hasty describes above.  It was the last thing we did before heading to the T to get to Alewife for our car to head home.  I don’t know why I didn’t resist participating, but partly I think it was because HK was feeling a little nervous about “not being able to swallow” which turned out to be acid reflux, so I figured that it would help her feel a little better if I got suckered into being involved.  I was just hoping they weren’t going to try and make me dance.  They didn’t.  They just had me and the other three participants bend over in front of everyone so one guy could leap over us.

And that was our day.  It was a wicked good day.

Categories: HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 195 Comments

A Special News Report from WGRM Boston – Hasty is Out of Control

I apologize to all my readers that I haven’t been able to respond to comments or visit your blogs, but Hasty has been a huger responsibility than I could imagine.  We spent the entire day in Boston yesterday, and by entire day I mean just about 11 hours.  It started out fine, but then Hasty went completely nuts and hijacked the Duck Boat while we were in the middle of the Charles River.

hasty hijacks the duck boat

If you look down in the right corner you can see the tour guide’s hand in a gesture as if to calm her down.

Then she and HastyKid, who is too smart to be a real kid, I think she’s some kind of adult freak of nature Betty Button or something, they conspired to blackmail me and expose my identity to the world for a million bagillion dollars, which I don’t have.  I tried to compromise with them, but they went mad and began to bully little children off the carousel in the Common.

hasty and kid carousel

Somehow we made it home safely, still with talks about black mail.  It’s now the early morning hours and they are asleep and she doesn’t know that I’m blogging to implore you people for help.  But first, let me tell you my real identity, before she has a chance to.  My real name is Guido Idiota Fettucine.  My son is Alfredo Fettucine.  My wife is Marie Jean D’Arc Marie Marie Marie Babette Fettucine, maiden name Soufflé.  She’s Canadian.  And she’s not even from the French speaking region, so yeah her name’s a little strange.

Anyway, Hasty doesn’t know I’m posting this.  It was literally an 11 hour day, great day in Boston and we’ll be posting more about it sometime soon.  But the truth about Hasty is that she’s an incredible sweetheart and beautiful person.  And speaking of beauty, she was still looking good after we got caught in a near down pour while we were on the swan boat ride in the Public Garden.  But I’ll be polite about that.  I did offer her my jacket but she didn’t want it.

Then there’s her daughter, who truly does have a very sophisticated wit.  She’s got a great personality and she’s hysterical.  She’s also a great house guest.  HastyKid is very polite and cleans up after herself, puts her dishes in the sink, and she’s just a pleasure to have around the house.  Hasty is a fantastic mother and she has done well with this little girl.  I’m sure HastyHusband had something to do with that too, because HastyKid expresses often that she misses him and every now and then I get the sense that she’s a little homesick, which is expected when a kid is away from a good home.

I guess that’s it for now.  As I said, I’ll be by catching up, and then some, once this adventure comes to an end.  It may take some time, but I won’t let you down.

In the meanwhile, stay tuned….


Categories: HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 41 Comments

Welcome Hasty! And HastyKid Too!

Met Hasty and her daughter outside the gate at Logan airport this afternoon, gave them each a hug like they were old friends, and Hasty told me I was gorgeous, so it was great all around.  It is the hottest day of the year yet at 91 degrees and at least 75 % humidity.  So after getting her baggage and leaving the airport, a spontaneous stop at Walden Pond was nice but a little rough.  All of Hasty’s makeup melted off her face and I could feel sweat dripping down my back as I forced her to walk part way around the path to visit the original site of Thoreau’s cabin.  This is after we visited the cabin replica and signed in the guest registry.

walden pond guests

I was just reminded that I also took them on this semi-adventure when they had little sleep and we were all starving for lunch.  Go figure, it was 2pm.

Anyway, we made it to the cabin site and here are Hasty and HastyKid on the hearth:

hasty and kid

I took this pic of the pond before we left to head home:

waldon pond

When we arrived at my place we made sandwiches and salad and went to my own little pond.  Then we visited my neighbor and the kitten she is fostering, which we will probably have joint custody of:

hasty and kitty

And now the kids are inside playing games while we’re sitting out blogging together.  It’s cooled down and there’s a nice breeze.  Oh and yeah, some more disclosure as I gradually expose more and more of myself, I have a son.  I wasn’t going to mention it, but it seems he’s going to be a big part of this journey, especially since he made the sign for Hasty and HastyKid for when we met them at the airport.  I think Hasty’s posting a picture of that.

I guess that’s all.  I’m trying to get her drunk but she’s refusing to have more than one glass of wine.  Nah, that’s not true.  She only had one glass but I’d never purposely get her drunk.  That would have to be her own choice.

So there you have it.  More to come soon.


P.S.  I blogged first Hasty ;)

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“The Journal of Sage Doyle” De-spidahfying for Hasty and Mass Orientation

June 20, 2014


All right well Hasty posted her take on her upcoming visit up here in Boston, and so now it’s my turn to document mine.  It feels very strange for me to befriend someone online to the extent that I would invite the person to come and stay in my home.  Every time I ever heard of such a situation I thought, “those people are nuts”.  I guess I’m nuts.  I tend to have good instincts though.  Besides, I’m picking her up at the airport, so if while I’m waiting for the image on the blog to get off the plane, instead a 7 foot tall guy with tattoos featuring tales of dismemberment approaches as if to confess he’s the real Hasty, I’ll have to leave the airport without her.  Or him, if that was the case.  Obviously, the situation must be much more frightening for Hasty, since she’s flying about 1700 miles away from home to a city she’s never been to before, to meet a stranger from the internet, and stay in his home.  She sounds more nuts than me, right?

But when I think about it, I know I’m harmless, so I’m not concerned about her, but I don’t know her really, so there’s always that question in the back of my mind, “am I doing something that I will regret?”  Then my instincts kick in again, and I’m not bothered by it at all.  Essentially, the instincts overrule the hesitancy, since if the opposite were true, then I wouldn’t be inviting her to begin with.  For the most part, I feel like we’re old friends and that we’ve known each other for ages, I just haven’t seen her for a while.  So it was interesting to read her perspective when she said she felt as if I was a cousin that she’s never met before.

Anyway, other than the natural reservations that come up in this kind of situation, I wonder about other things.  Will she enjoy the trip?  Will she like my home?  She says she feels as if she’s going to meet a celebrity, so will she be disappointed?  Not that I want her to continue to feel that way, but it’d be great if we got along, because what if we hate each other?  Will she think I’m a slob?  Nah, never mind that last one.  This place is clean because it had to be de-spidahfied, since Hasty doesn’t like spiders.  I tend to get a lot of spiders.  Maybe that’s my fault since I catch them and put them outside, so it’s probably just one spider and he’s fucking with me.  But yeah, I hope she’s not disappointed and regretful.

I asked her what kind of food she likes to eat, and she said she doesn’t really eat anything but she’s been into eggs lately.  Ok, that sounds simple.  Stock my fridge with eggs.  We’ll be out and about doing stuff a lot anyway.  The following are some of the things we’ve discussed as possible ventures out.  My name is Sage Doyle and these are plans we discussed, not listed in any particular order:


1.  Since I don’t live directly in Boston, we’ll spend a day there, definitely go to the Common, I can show her Cheers from the tv show, Quincy Market/Faneuil Hall, Fenway, we can walk the Freedom trail, etc. etc…

2.  We will go to Salem, probably the same day as Boston, if we get to Boston early enough.  Salem’s pretty small.  There are some shops and a couple of museums like the Witch Museum and The House of Seven Gables.

3.  We plan to go to the beach one day, tons of beaches to choose from, but I have one in mind, maybe.

4.  We’ll definitely go out for some lobster, especially since there’s the best lobster around here and it’s cheaper than if you get it in Maine.  I don’t eat lobster anymore but I know Hasty likes it.

5.  I’d like to take her for a trail hike, and I’d also like to drive her to the top of a mountain so we can have a picnic lunch.  I don’t think she’s hiked mountains much, so we’ll only hike it if she wants to, but not if she won’t enjoy it.

6.  I’d like to kind of take her around and see the local area, some of the small New England towns, old cemeteries.  If there is time we could go to Walden Pond and the DeCordova Museum.

Basically there’s tons of stuff around here, with little time for us to do a fraction of it.  When Hasty did the research, she was dumbfounded, I think, at how much there is surrounding my location.  I love it here for that reason.  I could go to any of the New England States in under 8 hours, 4 hours for New York or an hour if I take the commuter plane from Boston, 8 hours for Pennsylvania, or 5ish hours to Canada.  These are rough time estimates, from my memory of making those trips.  I haven’t done that in a while.

So Hasty and I tossed out some of the main ideas as mentioned above, and we’ll kind of just go with the flow.  Obviously we need to fit in some time to relax and get to know each other and do a couple blog posts.  I’ll have the privilege of doing a poetic duet with Hasty in person.  That’s wicked awesome.  Oh yeah, maybe Hasty will leave here with the word “wicked” as a part of her vocabulary.  Also, she may learn why not only are we referred to as “Massholes” but we also proudly display bumper stickers that simply say “Masshole”.  On that note, I just realized that I have to take her to Dunkin’ Donuts.  There’s a Dunkin’ Donuts on practically every corner of every street in every town and city of Massachusetts.  That’s only a slight exaggeration.  I’ve been to Dunkin’ Donuts in other states and it’s not quite the same.  I can’t remember what state it was, but I went to one and asked for a medium regular.  They gave me a black coffee.  I asked, “where’s the cream and sugar?”  They pointed to a self serving station.  I was like, “you mean I have to put it in myself?”  It was culture shock for me.  I was baffled.  In many of the New England towns there are building codes, so Dunkin’ Donuts designed a structure to meet those codes in order to get into those towns.  DD also is sure to set up shop not far from many campgrounds.  I remember reading an article, which who knows if this is true or not, but Ben Affleck was filming a movie in his home state of Massachusetts and wanted to do a scene in a DD.  Someone suggested a Starbuck’s because that’s THE place for coffee.  Affleck responded with something like, this is Massachusetts, it’s got to be a Dunkin’s.  Maybe you have to be from Mass to know that.

So yeah, I guess Hasty will know things about me that I’ve been secretive about.  I don’t conceal facts about myself to be deceptive or anything, it’s only just because I’m a very private person.  What once started as a penname has become an identity, which was not anticipated and is kind of strange, kind of fascinating.  My personality shouldn’t be a surprise though, since I’m pretty much as you see me here.

I don’t know how Hasty does it with all the links she included in her post, that’s so freakin’ time consuming and greatly appreciated.  I think she pretty much covered our online collaborations and her character in Grimm though.  And since she has over 13,000 followers, I’m pretty sure that those of you who are following me are following her too.  But if that’s not the case then be sure to go on over and visit her blog.  She’s a sensitive person who is intensely passionate about her beliefs and ideals.  She’s a profound poet and what I perceive as a very genuine soul.  I feel honored that she trusts the idea of me so much, that she has chosen me to visit, of all the bloggers.  Definitely an honor that I’m looking forward to.

I’ll close out with a video, maybe for Hasty’s benefit, maybe just for the hell of it, but it’s classic, maybe only appreciated by Massholes:

Shit Boston Guys (Massholes) Say


Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | Tags: , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 139: Grimm & Hasty in Boston part 2

November 26, 2013

Ok, now that I’m settled at work and it’s kind of slow, I’ll finish my story about me and Hasty.

So I was just lounging on the bed, we got two beds by the way, lounging on the bed watching tv with Gary Oldman (II).  I wasn’t planning to take Gary Oldman (II) swimming, or to Blue Man Group because she doesn’t like water and she wouldn’t like all that excitement of a big crowd.  Not really safe for her anyway.  But I love that she’s my service animal because I can take her anywhere I want.  In the city, she wears her special vest so I get fewer questions, but I still carry her paperwork.  She looks so official in her vest.  Cat On Patrol Gary Oldman.

Anyway, I hear Hasty’s laughter and freaking out so I go to the bathroom door and ask if everything’s ok.  She was like, “aaah! don’t come in!”  Ok.  But then I wanted to.  But I didn’t.

I was like, “are you ok?  can I help you with anything?”

Then she started laughing again and said, “it hurts but nooooo!”

It turns out that as she was waxing her feminine area–I’m referring to it as her feminine area in order to be polite while talking about Hasty–well, she seemed to have accidentally waxed some delicate parts together, that shouldn’t be waxed together.  Apparently if the wax cools down, it hardens.  That makes it complicated to remove.  I offered to help and I wasn’t even being a pervert, it was genuine, because I couldn’t imagine how she could help herself, then I began to imagine too much, and she said no anyway, so I told her to take a hot bath and let me know if there was anything I could do.

Eventually, she was agonizingly able to save herself, and we went down to the pool, sauna, and jacuzzi.  It was fun and we both got a lot of attention because we were speaking in accents.  People were asking us where we were from and details though, so we’d just say we can’t tell them anything because we’re spies.  Then we’d laugh, walk away, and avoid them.

After that we got dressed and ready to go to Blue Man Group at the Charles Playhouse.  I somehow scored front row seats and they gave us ponchos.  We got sprayed by water and paint and buried in toilet paper.  We were literally buried in toilet paper, it was awesome.  I wish the Charles was a bigger space though so they could have the orchestra like they have in some places like Las Vegas.  But it was a brilliant show and we had a lot of fun.  After, Hasty bought one of their used drumsticks with paint on it as a souvenir.  We decided against going out to eat for a few reasons.

1.  I didn’t want to leave Gary Oldman (II) alone in a strange place (the hotel room) for too long.

2.  We wanted to go in the sauna again.

3.  We wanted to hang around in our hotel bathrobes.

4.  Room service made us feel like royalty.

Also, it’s easier for me not to drink than when I go to a restaurant, then I’d want to at least order some wine.

The next morning we went back down to the pool, jacuzzi, and sauna again before having the continental breakfast.  We could either bring the breakfast to our room or eat downstairs.  So after swimming, we went and showered, then came down in our bathrobes and ate downstairs in the café while in our bathrobes.  We spoke in our accents so people just figured it wasn’t weird to do since they assumed we were European.  We learned that when Americans think you’re European, you can get away with a lot.

After breakfast we got ready to check out and go to the museum of fine arts.  It was still early, about 9am, so we decided to walk around in the common for a little while.  It was really cold Saturday though so we didn’t last long.

While we were there we split up to go to two different vendors, just to kill time for standing in line.  I went to get coffees and Hasty went to get roasted almonds.  Her line was shorter so while she sat on the bench waiting for me, she was accosted by some fucking freak.  I hadn’t seen it happen but when I went over to her she seemed kinda distraught.  She told me that he called her slutty because of her low cut shirt and asked if her husband, he had seen her with me, was ok that she was whoring herself out by putting herself on display.  When she told him I wasn’t her husband but a friend, he asked if she and her husband were swingers and said that it was wrong for men and women to be friends.

Of course, after she told me that, I had to go have a talk with him.  I said, “how fucking dare you talk to her like that and you need to apologize.”  He went on to say that I was a fag because I had blue hair and that people like us were what was wrong with the world.  I pushed him and said for him to apologize to Hasty.  But I pushed him repeatedly until he was backed into a tree.  He wasn’t retaliating.  He was scared.  That’s when the cops came over.

I began to explain what was going on, when the guy began on his rant about all that shit that pissed me off.  He said, “here’s the whore now,” when Hasty showed up.  She ran over when she saw the cops.  The cops looked at each other and I could tell they understood where I was coming from.  I said, “I just want him to apologize to her, then I need to fucking walk away because I’m about to kick the shit out of him.”

One cop said, “nope you can’t be doing that, you need to walk away pal.”  The other cop told the guy to apologize and made us go our separate ways after he checked our id’s.  The guy apologized and mumbled about sluts and fags as he walked away.  The cops told me the guy was nuts and I just need to let that shit roll off of me or I’d end up being the one to get in trouble, which is basically true.  Good thing the cops came along when they did or I’d have definitely gotten myself into some serious trouble from enforcing some regrets on that guy.  People like that piss me off and it especially pissed me off because Hasty and I were having a great time and he hurt her.  But as we were walking away she gave me a big smile and held my arm and said I was her hero and that was sweet of me to defend her.  I put my arm around her and we got on the T to head to the Museum of Fine Arts.

We spent the entire day there.  Well, until it closed just before 5, but my favorite part is always the Egyptian exhibits.  Hasty liked the John Singer Sargent exhibit that’s there right now and the Impressionists.  I love the Van Gogh’s.  If I was an artist, I would paint like Van Gogh.

Anyway, other than that incident at the common, our time together was perfect.  But even that made us glad to be who we are as people, because what it came down to was that guy was deeply lonely, and deluded by his own misunderstandings and confusion about people.  Our time in Boston was exactly what I think both of us needed.  And it was a good time without drinking, drugging, doing anything stupid, or jeopardizing responsibility.  It was perfect.

And so, my theme song for this journal entry, is dedicated to Hasty.  It’s “Perfect” or “Fuckin’ Perfect” by Pink, because Hasty is fucking perfect.


previous Grimm 138:  Grimm & Hasty in Boston part 1

next Grimm 140: Valentina

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Hasty is a character based upon herself at

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 116-140 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 138: Grimm & Hasty in Boston part 1

November 26, 2013

One of my favorite movie quotes is spoken by Robert DeNiro from “Taxi Driver.”  He says, “I don’t believe that one should devote his life to morbid self attention.  I believe that someone should become a person like other people.”

Now I know this is coming from a character of questionable vigilantism, the kind of guy lacking in social skills so severely that he honestly believes that taking a classy lady to a porn film on their first date is a good idea.  However, it makes sense.  I wouldn’t say that I’m morbidly self-obsessed, though I do have this internal world that no one sees.  It’s an intense world that overwhelms me.  I’ve been trying lately to learn to be a better filter of my abilities to know inside of people, and I think that’s a big part of my problem.  I think since I started blocking, it isolated me, I lost my place, and a lot of my problems began.  It made me less guarded, less aware, more self attended.  So I’ve been working on a balance and the ability to filter, but during the process, until I master it, there’s a lot going on inside me.

Anyway, essentially I want to be normal, like other people, and I don’t feel normal.

I’ve made amends with everyone, but I just get this sense of expectations and/or disappointments, as if they just want me to be one way that I’m not, or different from what I am, or just be myself, but shaped to their liking.  It’s like getting in a relationship, they love you, but once they get involved with you, they try to change you, especially the things they liked about you to begin with.

But I want to do some normal things and enjoy life, while avoiding irresponsibility.  So I decided to spend a little time with Hasty.  She accepts me as I am, no matter what I say or do, and yet somehow she miraculously seems to care about me at the same time.  That’s an usual balance where I’m concerned.  I think so anyway.  We have fun together, and it’s just easy.  It also helps that she’s married, since we’ve got the sexual boundaries in place, so again, no expectations, and it’s just pure friendship.  It’s kind of impossible being friends with girls without the sexual tension.  I mean, of course if Hasty wasn’t married, that would change things, but she is, so I’ll shut up.

I switched around my schedule, by the ok with Sharly, so that Hasty and I could go into Boston and spend the night in a hotel room. This was Friday night.  I wanted to stay over night because we had somewhere to go in the evening, then we could go out to eat or something.  The next day we could do something else, then head home.  She didn’t know my plans, she only knew to pack for overnight.

We got into Boston early, before check in, but we went straight to the hotel anyway.  Conveniently, our room was ready.  She asked what the plans were, so I told her we were going to see Blue Man Group.  She was so excited but said she wanted to go shopping to buy something special to wear.  Then she said since the hotel had a pool, we needed to also get her a bathing suit.  I said I didn’t bring a suit either, so she said I had to get one too.

The next day we were going to go to the Museum of Fine Arts, before we would head home.  She was so happy.  I think she’s the only person I can make that happy.  It makes me want to make her more and more happy until she explodes from happiness.  Well, I guess I don’t really want her to explode.

We went shopping.  I hate shopping.  But it didn’t take her as long as I expected.  She wanted me to get a speedo, but I hate them.  If you get hard, which I tend to do when I’m around half naked women aka women in bathing suits, there’s no hiding it in a speedo.  I ended up getting speedo shorts, which still leave nothing to the imagination, but somehow slightly more than a regular speedo.  We decided to spend the rest of our time in Boston speaking in accents.  I chose Italian, of course, and Hasty chose English.  With the Italian accent, for some reason, I felt more comfortable in the speedo.

After getting all her stuff, we went back to the hotel to order up room service while Hasty waxed her legs and feminine parts.  It took about an hour with her in the bathroom for most of it, while I watched tv.  She had to get all smooth so we could go swimming before going to see Blue Man Group.

At one point, from the bathroom, I hear her laughing hysterically and shouting “oh my god, oh no!”  Of course, my curiosity was peaked.

And so shall yours be, Invisible Journal Reading People, because I have to cut this story short because I have some shit to do before I go to work, but I will finish the story of my day with Hasty later today.

The theme song for this journal entry is “Sing Along” by Dave Matthews & Blue Man Group.  I’m not a huge Dave Matthews fan, but this song is fucking cool.  And listen, Invisible Journal Reading People, for my theme songs, lyrics are always important.  Keep that in mind.


previous Grimm 137: Dave is Stupid, Family Therapy, & Grimm’s Journal Theme Songs

next Grimm 139: Grimm & Hasty in Boston part 2

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Hasty is a character based upon herself at

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 116-140 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm”134: A Very Special Grimm

November 12, 2103

My mom told me that a long time ago when a sitcom would have an episode that touched on serious and mature subject matter, they would say at the beginning that it was a “very special episode.”

Well you Invisible Journal Reading People, there is some very special content today.

My name is Wall Grimm and Invisible Viewer discretion is required.


First thing, now and then I go through a phase when I don’t write so much in my journal, I guess I’m going through that now.  I think mostly I’m just too preoccupied, not very happy, apart from Valentina.  The best thing that happened this week was that we got the blood work results which proved that Sweetheart and I are Valentina’s biological parents.  Anyway, I’m going to skip all last week and go right to Sunday afternoon.

Valentina was at my mom’s who volunteered to babysit to give us a little break.  I get breaks when I go to work, so it was more for Sweetheart.  My mom’s confused and thinks we’re this couple, but we’re not.  Anyway, Sweetheart was sleeping in my room, I was lying on the couch reading but kind of falling asleep.  Pete said he was going to run some errands–get milk, cream, sugar, coffee, other stuff, and pick up some Chinese food.

I put the book down and decided to sleep.  I was wearing boxers and a t-shirt.  Now, my preference when I’m hanging around in my own home is to just be in bikini briefs, but not anymore.  Now when I’m wearing them, Sweetheart will kinda sexually harass me which feels stupid to say, but it’s annoying.  Especially since I’m trying to avoid a sexual relationship with her.  Except a couple times she gave me a blow job, but she offered and that’s hard to resist.

Anyway, while I was drifting off to sleep, she comes out in some lingerie thing and sits on me and says “hi.”  I didn’t say anything, but she began to rub her hands on my stomach and chest up my shirt and she says, “you’re so hard.”

I just said, “…uummmm…”

“You’re body.  Since you’ve been working out so much.  You’re hard.”

I kind of nodded, then she squirmed a bit and laughed.  She looked down and ran her finger on the tip of my dick.  I was hard and my dick was kind of peaking out from the top of my boxers.  I figured she was going to offer me another blow job.  But she said that she wanted me to fuck her and to fuck her really hard.  She told me to slam her so that she could feel it in the huge vagina she has after giving birth.  Then she slapped me, which was stupid and confusing.  But she was moving around on me and then ran off to get a condom.  It really is like a switch.  Dick/brain dick/brain dick/brain.  She slapped me, brain kicks in.  Then she grinds a little and runs for a condom, dick takes charge.

She comes back, pulls down my boxers enough to put the condom on me, then she slaps me again, harder than the last time.  I was like, “the fuck you’re doing!?”

She tells me that the night the cops came, my aggression and forcefulness turned her on.  She said it was sexy and powerful.

“….ummmm ok…so that makes you hit me?”

She said she was trying to get me to hit her back.  I laughed which annoyed her and she slapped me.  I said for her to stop because I wasn’t going to hit her.  But I did flip our positions and got her pinned down with one hand, and I started tickling her with my other hand.  I hate tickling honestly.  I hate being tickled, so I never tickle other people, or at least not longer than for a few seconds.  But she was annoying me, and watching her squirm was hot.  I didn’t do it for very long because one of her straps snapped and exposed her tit.  So I started licking and sucking her nipple.  I released her hands and moved to lie half on her so I could finger her while I did that, but she was already really wet.  We fooled around a little more until we were both crazy hot and then I got on her and started to fuck her and she begins to push me away and say “no stop, please no” very realistically.  I stopped and moved away and said, “I’m sorry, what did I do?”

She said she was playing and to come back.  I said I didn’t like that, but we started again.  I’m slamming her, then she starts up with the no, please don’t crying and pushing me away.  I stand up, put on my boxers and head to the kitchen for a drink.  She grabs me around the ankles and says “please fuck me, please, don’t stop, fuck me Grimm.”  And, ummmmm, dick switches on, “duuuhh okkay dokkay”

So I go in for more, she starts squirming and fighting and pulling my hair saying, “please, no, please stop” and I just grab her arms, pin them down, keep fucking her and I say, “just shut up already and enjoy it” and of course, Pete the Master of Timely Arrivals walks in.  He enters just as I say that, and then I go on to say, “it’s no fun for me if you keep fighting.”

Pete’s such a hero.  He pulls me off of her and tells me to get the fuck out.  I was so confused by the whole thing, I did.  I got dressed, packed up a bag of shit and left.  Sweetheart didn’t say a fucking word as Pete sat with her on the couch with his arms around her after he wrapped her in a blanket.  I was too confused to push the matter or defend myself either.

It was so messed up.  I don’t understand it.  She was acting like I was raping her and of course that’s what Pete saw when he came in, and I was just trying to have normal sex, because she clearly wanted sex.  I was just trying to get her to stop the play acting, but now that I’m away, it feels like I did something wrong.  I keep going over it again and again in my head and I feel ashamed and confused and I just can’t place how I feel.  I’m naturally dominant sexually I guess, but that doesn’t mean I like to force a woman to do what she doesn’t want to do.  There’s a difference.  And even if she’s asking me to play a game, well it felt real.  I just don’t understand it.

Anyway, so I took off, got on the train, went into Boston, and I’ve been at the hostel for the past two nights.  I haven’t called anyone, and I’ve ignored all phone calls.  Well I did call in sick with Sharly.  And yesterday we weren’t having Blues Monday, because it was Veteran’s Day so the guys were going to see some veteran friends and go to celebrations.  They invited me, I said I’d show up maybe, but I didn’t.  I wanted to because I wanted to honor the veterans, but I just walked around Boston aimlessly instead.  Kind of did the Freedom Trail, but with a half-mind and half-direction.

I don’t know when I’m going back.  The thought of going back makes me sick.  I don’t know if Pete knows the truth, and I’m sure I can get him to believe me if he doesn’t.  It’s Sweetheart.  I don’t want to see her.  I’m sick of her.  I want her to get out of my life.  But I don’t want to lose Valentina.  So I don’t know what to do.


previous Grimm 133: Reservation Birth, The Blues Feel, Gary Oldmanisms, & Lord Gary Oldman

next Grimm 135: Grimm The Lowly Not-A-Real Cowboy

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 116-140 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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