Posts Tagged With: alice cooper

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 164: Grimm’s Culminating Identity

February 21, 2014

Wednesday night there was another snow storm, kind of white out at times, but Pete hosted a get together.  A drug and alcohol free get together on my behalf.  He knows I’ve been kind of frustrated that I can’t hang out with many of my friends much because it’s hard not to drink and drug, and also I don’t want to expect them to abstain on my behalf.  So he set it up for me.  It was a small party and it was actually a lot of fun.  I can’t remember ever having fun like that with a large group of people when at least drinking wasn’t involved.  The last time for me was probably a birthday party when I was a kid, but then the adults were probably drinking wine.  So maybe it never has happened for me.

Pete, Sweetheart, Danika, Morgan, Ayla, Jay, Jeff, and John were there.  A few others were invited including Hasty and Emma, but they couldn’t make it because of the storm.

We watched the new episode of “Walking Dead” on demand, which was a good one.  Then we watched this old horror movie with Alice Cooper called “Monster Dog.”  That movie was wicked fucking awesome.  He was a singer and they went to a creepy house to film a music video.  The first video they played was called “Identity Crisises”

“sometimes I’m James bond, sometimes I’m Billy the Kid, sometimes I feel like Sherlock Holmes, sometimes I feel like Jack the Reeeeper….” awesome.

Then we played some games – Quelf, Apples to Apples, Guess Who, and The Awkward Family Photo Game.

In Quelf, my character was The Dude.

At the end of a couple of rounds of Apples to Apples, we all read the cards we won aloud, because we said they were supposed to describe us.  There’s an adjective on each card and three synonyms to emphasize its meaning.  This is what I got:

HARDWORKING – industrious, diligent, busy.  I guess I have been these days.  It’s a lot of work to not drink and drug, and I’ve been trying to get my shit together.  I’m doing well in school and responsible for Sharly.  And I’ve been diligent with my efforts to appeal to Emma.

SNAPPY – stylish, trendy, fast.  I think I’m just fast.

SILLY – goofy, absurd, nonsensical.  I guess I have a silly sense of humor at times.  And I don’t always make sense.

PATHETIC – pitiful, distressing, heart-rending.  No comment.

OUTRAGEOUS – shocking, scandalous, disgraceful.  I have been known to be these things.

WORLDLY – experienced, sophisticated, materialistic.  Experienced, yes.  Sophisticated, I can be.  Materialistic, nope.

NERDY – unhip, uncool, dorky.  ummmm I don’t think so….?  Maybe I’m not so “cool” anymore since I quit drinking.  But being healthy and not doing stupid shit because you’re high and drunk is cooler.

CHARISMATIC – alluring, magnetic, charming.  Alluring – I don’t have a hard time getting laid.  Magnetic – I have magnetic blood which stops watches.  Charming – I’ve been told I’m charming many times.

POWERFUL – strong, forceful, robust.  Yeah, I’d say so.  In diverse settings and situations, and in differing aspects of my personality and behavior.

SHARP – pointed, keen, acute.  I’ll go along with that.  But of course, I seem to be going along with only the positive ones.

FABULOUS – marvelous, wonderful, incredible.  Ok, no comment on this one.  I could either say something that makes me sound vain, or I could get all self deprecating about it.

BELIEVABLE – trustworthy, credible, convincing.  Sure, why not.  Do you Invisible Journal Reading People believe that?  Yeah, maybe I didn’t say anything to convince you.

CRAZY – insane, bizarre, wacky.  Yeah ok, I’ll go with that too.  Especially when I was drinking and drugging.  Now I’m kind of serious and mellow, but kind of insane, with bizarre thoughts and wacky ideas.  Yeah, I’m a little crazy.

SEXY – arousing, appealing, seductive.  Why, thank you.

ZANY – crazy, funny, wacky.  Ok, I guess I can’t deny that I am crazy.

PAINFUL – hurtful, agonizing, unbearable.  I’m sorry.

PLAYFUL – fun, frisky, entertaining.  Yeah, I can be like that.  When drunk it was called recklessness.  Now it’s just frisky.

CHEESY – trashy, tawdry, far-fetched.  This one makes me sad.

HANDSOME – attractive, elegant, fine.  I know I’m not ugly.  I know that much.  So, thanks again.

Ok, to sum up, my name is Wall Grimm and I am a hardworking, snappy, silly, pathetic, outrageous, and worldly nerd.  I am charismatic, powerful, sharp, fabulous, and believable.  I’m a crazy, sexy, zany, painful, playful, cheesy yet handsome dude.

Does that sum me up?  I guess anything could be interpreted the way you want to see it.  And it goes along with one of those quizzes we all took on Facebook from zimbio.  I took tons of them.  And here are the results:

From “The Avengers” I am Thor.  From “Sesame Street” I am Big Bird.  From “Walking Dead” I am Daryl.  To be honest I would have been pissed off if I wasn’t.  From “X-Men” I am Wolverine.  The David Bowie character I am is Halloween Jack.  I don’t know this character, but it said in the description, “you were punk rock before punk rock even existed.”  So that’s awesome.  The Leonardo DiCaprio character I am is Gatsby.  For a Disney villain, I am Scar.  Fitting to be a lion since I am a Leo.  That makes sense.  From “Star Trek” I am Kirk.  From “Toy Story” I am Buzz Lightyear.  From “Seinfeld” I am Elaine, which is weird because one of the questions asked me what turns me on and I answered “Elaine”.  From “The Simpsons” I am Sideshow Bob.  From “The Family Guy” I am Lois, and I think that had to do with all the sex questions.  From “Star Wars” I am Boba Fett.  From “Harry Potter” I am Luna Lovegood.  She’s probably the most interesting character, but I’m not as pretty as she is.  The Tolkien “creature” I am is a wizard.  Nice.  And finally, this is the one which reminds me of my Apples to Apples description:  From “Anchorman”  I am Brick Tamland, who Alice Cooper kind of looks like when he’s the James Bond identity in the video.  That makes sense too.  Alice Cooper looks like Steve Carell as Michael Scott as Michael Scarn, with a little Brick Tamland thrown in.

brick tamland

Now, since I don’t really do much on Facebook besides go invisible and stalk Emma’s page, I have to entertain myself in a fb kind of way in my journal.  And I guess this instigates, appropriates, subjugates, demonstrates, abbreviates, and culminates my own identity crisis.  But that’s Bob Dylan.

There are two theme songs today.  The first is obviously “Identity Crisises” by Alice Cooper, and the next one is “Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds” by William Shatner aka Kirk.


photo of Brick Tamland and quizzes courtesy of

previous Grimm 163: Valentines & Valerian

next Grimm 165: Gender, Psychicisms, & Grimm Morrison the Lizard King

Hasty is based on herself from

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 156-170 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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