For easier access to individual posts, you can refer to the Journal Entries Index Page where the posts are numbered/titled chronologically with the links to each post.

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 50: Pain Meds, Zombie-ish-ness, Doing Stupid Shit, & Gary Oldman

February 5, 2013

I went back to work Monday and it wasn’t any fun working with a torn ligament.  However, when I was on my feet all night Saturday being a zombie, I hadn’t noticed.  I mean with the acid and pot and Percocet and of course I had some whiskey, I was dancing at the rave with those five lovely ladies.  Of course my limp only added to the effect of my zombie-ish-ness.  But now that I have to be responsible and I’m only numbed by the Percocet, it’s no fun.  I think I damaged myself Saturday and extended the life of my injury.

My leg is really sore today which is why I’m up so early, it’s uncomfortable to sleep so I’m going to just take my Percocet.  Dave got me some Vicodin too, so that I can refill the percs as normal, but take more pain killers than the insurance companies pay for.  If I complain and be a pussy about it, maybe the doctor would give me Morphine, but I don’t think they would do that for something as insignificant as a torn ligament.

The bad thing about pain meds is that they work.  Then you do stupid shit you shouldn’t since you don’t feel the pain.  Pain tells you that you’re doing stupid shit.  If you don’t feel pain, you do stupid shit and reinjure yourself.  The even worse thing about pain meds is that they are addictive.

Anyway we ended up in the newspaper yesterday, The Boston Globe no less.  We looked fucking cool as hell.  Maybe Emma will see it and want me now that I’m famous.  This is what we call …cynicism.

And yeah…so…moving on…

I found this awesome pic of Gary Oldman on the internet, I don’t know who took it:


I don’t know what movie it’s from, maybe “Dracula” but this is what I think he’s saying:

“This is my wolfie.  I love the wolfie.  No one shall take my wolfie from me.  Woe be the man who will.”

But maybe he’s saying it in a German accent which would be cooler:

“Diese ist mein volfie.  Ich liebe ein volfie.  No one shall take mein volfie von mich.  Voe be der mann who vill.”

Or something like that anyway.  Ok now I got myself laughing too hard to write anymore.

Gary Oldman, man, you’re fucking awesome.


previous Grimm 49: Zombies Zombies Zombies Zombies Zen

next Grimm 51:  Wall Grimm’s Zombie Rant and Wall Grimm the Zombie

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 49: Zombies Zombies Zombies Zombies Zen

February 3, 2013

Last night Pete, Sweetheart, Danika, Jeff, Ayla, Dave and I went to the Halloween Store and bought a bunch of special effects makeup.  Then we went back to my place, tore up and bloodied our clothing, and made each other up like zombies.  Then we took acid and smoked some pot.  Once we were tripping enough, we wandered out onto the street and pretended to be real zombies.

Most people laughed, some people were actually afraid.  We were walking down the street and a cop pulls up beside us and gets out to see what we’re up to.  Dave said, “we want to eat brains.”  The cop seemed amused but hid it well.  Or maybe I imagined that because I was tripping.  He was like, “What are you guys on?”  Dave said, “formaldehyde” and the cop told him he should shut up and he didn’t want to hear another word out of him.

I said, “sorry officer, he’s a wise ass, we’re just having fun, you know ‘The Walking Dead’ is coming back next week, so…..yeah…”

The cop laughed and said it was an awesome show and of course Rick was his favorite character, but that he’d have gotten into Andrea’s pants long ago if he himself was one of the single men.  He said at least Shane had that.

The cop couldn’t really tell we were tripping since we had Zombie contacts and he couldn’t see how dialated our pupils were.  I think he just thought maybe we had been smoking pot.

Another cop car pulled up but the first cop said we were no trouble, just having fun, but we better not fuck with people.  Dave said, “but just walking down the street dressed like this is fucking with people.  By default.”

The second cop agreed.  Anyway they let us move on.  I liked seeking out the pretty girls and going up to them and they were kind of scared, kind of amused, and kind of flattered that a zombie was flirting with them in a living dead kind of way.  One girl said, “are you going to eat me?”  She meant it innocently, but my mind got so clouded with perversion that I could only laugh and walk away.

We walked to the cemetery and as people walked by, we started moaning and creeping by the iron gate.  A few people screamed and ran.  A photographer caught up with us and took our picture for the newspaper so we’ll be in Monday’s paper.

Then we went to a rave.  I learned that girls are turned on by men dressed as zombies.  I got a lot of attention.  I was dancing with about 5 girls at once.  It seemed like the evening was going to come to a very hot end until I went to get drinks for me and all five girls and then I fucked with Dave while we at the bar waiting to order.  I told him I was a real zombie and I had this idea to dress up like one because I knew I’d be turning soon and I wanted to disguise it.  I told him Sweetheart and Pete were real zombies too.  I said we’re going to turn this entire club into zombies.  He was tripping so hard he believed me and started freaking out, yelling incoherently about zombies even though he was dressed like one.  I tried to go back to the five girls, but Danika said, “no Grimm.  Come.”  And I obeyed her like a dog, waving at the hot girls as I left the club.  Once we were a ways down the street and Dave wouldn’t calm down, I punched him in the face and told him to shut the fuck up.  He wasn’t a problem after that, but the rave mood was lost so we didn’t go back in.  Well I didn’t lose it but I lost those girls.  Damn.

We spent the rest of the night going into public places moaning like zombies and rambling about brains.  I realized that being a zombie is kind of stress free.  No thought, no pain, no worries, no love.  Z is for zombie as well as it is for zen.


previous Grimm 48: Danika & the Karaoke Machine

next Grimm 50: Pain Meds, Zombie-ish-ness, Doing Stupid Shit, & Gary Oldman

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 48: Danika & the Karaoke Machine

January 31, 2013

Last night Danika picked me up and brought me to Emma’s with her karaoke machine.  It was about 8pm and I know her evening schedule changed this semester so I knew she’d be home.  I’m usually getting out of work then, but because of my torn ligament, Sharly’s letting me stay home until Monday.

Anyway, we got to Emma’s and knocked, no answer.  I knew she was home because the lights were on.  She leaves only certain lights on when she’s not home.  The lights that were on were the ‘at home’ lights.

I was going to call her cell but I decided to call her land line.  She’s one of the very few people I know who have a land line.  She says that it makes her feel safer that if she needs to call 911 they will find her more quickly than if she used her cell.  She’s also the only person I know besides my parents who has an answering machine.  She said she likes them because she thinks they’re old fashioned, which I think is adorable, and she likes being able to screen calls without being in the same room as the phone.

Since she has this convenient prehistoric device, I decided to utilize its services.  I called on her land line and said something like this on the answering machine, “Emma please pick up, or come to the door, or at least the window, I’m clean, I promise, I just don’t want to lose you as a friend.  I know I do a lot of stupid things, but you are my best friend and I don’t know what to do without you.  It’s been a couple of months now and–”  Then the machine cut me off.  I was clean too, as best I could be on Percocet.  But I had to take the pain killers to be on my feet, and that was the only substance I was on at the time.  I guess I’m not that much of a pussy but shut up, I’m doing the best I can.  (Love arguing with invisible people).

So Emma never picked up, didn’t come to the door or the window, so I just went with it anyway.  I very slowly shimmied my way up on top of the car.  The strange blue cushiony and white plasticy brace kind of thingy on my leg, along with the triggered pain, didn’t make the task too easy but I did it and stood on the roof of the car, hoping I wouldn’t fall off.  Danika set up the karaoke machine and handed me the microphone and one crutch.  I’m not the greatest singer, but I’m not so bad, can’t compete with Stevie Wonder, but I sang a cappella “You are the Sunshine of My Life” anyway.

You are the sunshine of my life That’s why I’ll always be around, You are the apple of my eye, Forever you’ll stay in my heart

I feel like this is the beginning, Though I’ve loved you for a million years, And if I thought our love was ending, I’d find myself drowning in my own tears

You are the sunshine of my life, That’s why I’ll always stay around, You are the apple of my eye, Forever you’ll stay in my heart

You must have known that I was lonely–

And it was about here that Emma’s roommate, Gwen, came out.  She said she was sorry, she didn’t realize I had such an elaborate plan, but she was trying to mind her own business.  She said Emma wasn’t home.  I was like, but she’s home Tuesday nights this semester.  She said, “It’s Wednesday.”  I was like, fuck!



I used to be Valente Grimani.  At 18 I legally changed my name.  I’m 23 now.  My mother brings me from a heritage of Siciliani Romani.  My father comes from a family of prosperity left behind generations ago.  My name is Wall Grimm and I’m a fucking idiot.

I used to be cool, now I’m a loser.  Wicked bad.  I’m a Bostonian loser.

I convinced Gwen to erase the voice mail and to not tell Emma about this.  I don’t know when I will have the balls to do anything like that again.  We got in the car and as Danika drove away I actually started to fucking cry.  I was trying hard to be discrete or to suck it up, just to fucking stop, but I couldn’t control it, no matter how hard I tried.  Danika noticed of course and pulled over.

She said, “Grimm…”

I popped a perc in my mouth and said I’m all right let’s just swing by the packie and get a bottle of whiskey.  So that’s what we did.  Last night was so mild it was like 40 degrees Fahrenheit so we just sat outside my apartment in the back under a tree, surrounded by the thickest fog.  We sat on a blanket from Danika’s car.  We drank the bottle.  I drank most of it.  And I gave Danika a perc.  We talked about everything but Emma.  We didn’t go inside until we were both laughing.  Danika had to spend the night because she was too messed up to drive.  Pete gave her the couch and I gave Pete a sleeping bag.  My leg is killing me this morning, I was an idiot to get up on top of that car.


previous Grimm 47: The Skip Trip

next Grimm 49: Zombies Zombies Zombies Zombies Zen

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 47: The Ski Trip

January 29, 2013

Last night Pete, Jeff, Jay, Ayla, Sweetheart and I went skiing and snowboarding.  Jeff and Jay snowboard, the rest of us ski.  Last night they were trying to teach Ayla to snowboard, but she’s not even a very good skier.  Sweetheart had never skied so she took an hour lesson.  I haven’t gone in years because it’s so expensive.  It’s about the cost of 2 months worth of groceries for me.  Maybe a month’s worth of drugs.  But I asked my parents for the money to go and for some extra to pay for Sweetheart.  It’s been a long time since I asked them for money so they gave it to me.  I think they were glad to see me doing something healthy.  They didn’t know how many drugs I’d be doing during the trip.

I had to go to my parents’ anyway to get my old skis and poles and boots.  I got them for a Christmas present when I was 17ish.  My foot grew since then so the boots were too small.  When we went to rent the stuff, I only needed the boots, then I asked the guy to fit my boots to my old skis.  He popped the boots into the skis and popped them back out and said, “they fit.”  I was like, that’s weird because the boots a larger size, but whatever.

Later, I wiped out on a mogul, a real icy one that sent me flying literally into the air.  I landed and rolled for a while.  Only one of my skis released.  The other one stuck perpendicular out of the ground with my leg still attached.  That fucker at the rental booth, I knew he was a fuck-up.

Anyway, first thing I did was glance at my body to be sure I landed properly.  In other words, were all my limbs in normal positions and not twisted backwards or bent up under my body in some strange way.  Everything looked normal.  I reached back and released the ski with my pole.  Some guy stopped and asked if I was ok, I was like, “I’m not really sure.”  He said for me to not move, stay there, he’ll get the medics.

I started to move because I was high on cocaine and feeling very confident.  I sat on the ground to wait and I sang “Spirit In the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum in my head.  We heard it on the radio on the way there, that’s how I knew it was Norman Greenbaum.  I thought his name sounded Jewish, and I know that Jesus was Jewish so that’s why I remembered his name.

I sang:

“When I die and they lay me to rest Gonna go to the place that’s the best When I lay me down to die Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky That’s where I’m gonna go when I die When I die and they lay me to rest Gonna go to the place that’s the best…”

Then I was thinking, this is taking too long and I’m cold so I stood, but the medic showed up and kind of shouted in a firm but kind way, “get down! don’t move!”

I said, but it doesn’t hurt, he told me then it could be serious because that’s the body’s defense working.  Another medic showed up after him and they got me on this toboggan.  One guy in front of the toboggan, the other guy behind.  So I was lying on my back looking up into the sky and it was one of the coolest things that ever happened to me.

I sang:

“Never been a sinner I never sinned I got a friend in Jesus So you know that when I die He’s gonna set me up with The spirit in the sky Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky That’s where I’m gonna go when I die When I die and they lay me to rest I’m gonna go to the place that’s the best Go to the place that’s the best”

I sang out loud because I was a little high and the guys were laughing at me but not in a mean way.  At the medic’s I was sure to document that the fuck up at rentals didn’t fit my boot properly even though I asked him to and so the boot didn’t release.  They treated me real well then.  They wrapped me up said it was probably a torn or pulled ligament and my friends came to retrieve me once they were paged.

I told them they could still ski because I’d just hang out in the lodge and get shitfaced.  So Jeff and Jay and Pete were glad about that.  Ayla was done for the night.  Ayla was kind of holding up Jeff and Jay because they couldn’t go to the summit since they were teaching her.  Well they each did once because they took turns, but my wipe out happened within our first hour.  Sweetheart was not good at skiing and was glad to quit for the night too, so Pete was relieved of that obligation.  So I got to hang in the lodge with the snow bunnies and drink by the fireside, after the coolest toboggan ride.  Very cool.

Ayla at first seemed very jealous of Sweetheart.  If Sweetheart wasn’t there I’m sure Ayla would have figured out a discrete way to give me a blow job.  So at first there was a little tension, coming only from Ayla, since Sweetheart’s a true hippy in the sense that she loves everyone.  But then they started to talk about Emma, and they gave me some good advice.  They said what I lost is not the potential to have her romantically, the potential would always be there.  What I lost is her friendship, and that I need to show her how valuable that friendship is.  They said that’s what I need to do is to make amends and resolve our problems.  They said then, at the very least, we will still be friends, and I will still have her in my life.  So, I should focus on the friendship first, and then work on getting my shit together before I attempt to make it progress.  They said my desperation is failing me and making me sloppy.  I need to think like a chess player.  So I guess I can do that.


*Prove to Emma how valuable her friendship is.

*Heal the friendship.

*Be 12 moves ahead of Emma in my mind.

That’s not a manipulation, it’s just that I need to be aware of how my actions will cause her to react.  Impulse in this situation is not a good idea.

Ayla, Sweetheart, and I spent the next three hours by the fire before the others joined us.  I wasn’t in pain because I kept sprinkling cocaine into my whiskey.  I was very fucked up by the time we eventually went to the hospital to get x-rays.  I have a torn ligament behind my knee.  Sharly said I need to stay off my feet for a few days so I don’t have to work again until Monday which is cool.  And the Percocets are awesome.

Now I can have time to plan the next phase of my life.  Pete and Sweetheart maybe can help me.  Because yeah, I admit, I really do need help.


previous Grimm 46: Emma, Gary Oldmanism #1 of 2013, & the Gorillaz

next Grimm 48: Danika & the Karaoke Machine

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 46: Emma, Gary Oldmanism #1 of 2013, & the Gorillaz

January 27, 2013

Ok now I suppose it’s time to explain what happened with Emma.  I don’t want to write about it really because it’s painful and embarrassing.  I don’t remember how long ago it happened but for a while, Emma was pissed off at me and I wasn’t sure why.  Well recently I found out why from Jeff who was with me the night in question.  He may have known that I’ve been bothered by Emma being pissed off, but I’m not sure he did.  I don’t think he was fully aware what came of the incident that fateful night.

Jeff and I were really messed up on coke and whiskey.  I mean, we probably should have died.  That’s what Jeff said.  I am completely blacked out of the situation and even after Jeff’s description I don’t recall it at all.  I wonder how much of my life I’ve lost from black outs.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, maybe November, I don’t know.  But I guess we were real messed up and I professed my love for Emma to him.  He then convinced me to do something about it.  It was about 2:00am then.  We were oblivious.  We went to Store 24 and bought cigarettes, sparkling grape juice, a bag of Lindor chocolates, and a bouquet of multicolored daisies.  I also got a necklace that I thought was so beautiful at the time but it was just a pewter crescent moon with a glass spherical full moon on a black cord.  Two moons, yeah, I’m not sure about that. I think I read that the Earth has more than one moon, but whatever, I’m sure this necklace making place has no idea about that.  Anyway, this was as romantic as I was able to get under the circumstances.  Then we went to Emma’s house.  We were knocking on the door and calling.

She came down with her roommate and upon opening the door, she started shouting at us.  Emma’s a very professional and responsible person, so she doesn’t tolerate this kind of thing.  Apparently Jeff was concerned that I’d jeopardize any chances of being with her if I told her my feelings at that point so he told her that it was he who was in love with her.

I was so stupid, thinking he was fucking me over, and started to fight with him, but fortunately I was incoherent so Emma didn’t know what I was mad about.  She just knew I was shoving him and being hostile.  She said that she was calling the police and not to ever come back again.

Jeff said the roommate affirmed that Emma was going to call the police.  We took off before the police got there.  So that’s my story about Emma, and this is why I need to reach a different place in my life if I’m ever going to pursue her.  It’s nuts because my love for her has destroyed our friendship.  She was my best friend for 9 years.  Now I’m behaving like a twelve year old in love except instead of just being goofy and annoying, I’m being a drugged and drunken buffoon.  I like to used words like buffoon that nobody uses anymore.  I think it’s cool.

Ok here’s a Gary Oldman quote, my first Gary Oldmanism of 2013.  My first Gary Oldmanism in my new journal.


“I don`t think Hollywood knows what to do with me. I would imagine that when it comes to romantic comedies, my name would be pretty low down on the list.”

I think this applies to me too.  Because what I’m going through with Emma is hardly funny, and if there is any romance involved, it’s the most pathetic romance in existence.  What the fuck is wrong with me?  I’ve got some of the most passionate blood in existence, Siciliani Romani, I’ve got no excuse.  It’s also hard to romance someone when you’re fucking a hot slummer.  First it was Lauren, now it’s Sweetheart.

Pete told me that I should just play gay with him, then Emma would forgive me of all my behaviors, thinking I was struggling with coming out.  Then he added, “Hot girls love gay guys.”  He said he has more attention from hot women than he’s ever had in his life.  They flock to him now.  As crazy as I am, I considered it, but I don’t want to get her attention through deception.  Also, if I get high enough I might kiss Pete while getting caught up in the facade.  I’m not gay, just sexual, and if I’m high enough, whatever feels good, feels really good, and I’m prone to accidentally allowing myself to be groped.  You know, when your eyes are closed and someone’s rubbing your dick, and you’re really high, it feels pretty good.  So I need to be careful about that kind of thing.

Now I want to hear the Gorrillaz “Dare” so I put it on really loud and begin to dance in the living room.  It’s 7:00am and Pete’s asleep on the sofa and Sweetheart is in my bed.  But soon they get up and join me and we just dance our cares away to the Gorrillaz on this fine Sunday morning.


previous Grimm 45: The Tent, Sweetheart, & Encountering In Solitude

next Grimm 47: The Ski Trip

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 45: The Tent, Sweetheart, & Encountering In Solitude

January 24, 2013

It’s really early in the morning, it’s wicked cold and the heat in my apartment sucks.  Pete, Sweetheart, and I set up my four person tent in my living room and packed it with pillows and blankets.  That with our body heat helped to get us warm.  I think it was the coldest night of the year last night.  I could be wrong but that’s what it felt like.  We didn’t really sleep so I just called in sick to Sharly.  It’s ok when I call in because she’s there all the time anyway, but she’s usually out back in her office doing the business end and sometimes she goes out and runs errands.  I don’t know Pete’s schedule but he’s not planning to work today either.  We couldn’t sleep so we just got high all night long in the tent.

Sweetheart, my little hippy girl whose name I still don’t know, is probably going to stay throughout the winter.  She’s a genuine hippy, road traveling kind, she doesn’t just dress the part.  She never imposed herself upon me, but she said she’d be on her way and I was like where are you going?  She told me she felt like going to the Grand Canyon, so she was either going to hitchhike or figure out some way to get there.  I was like how can you do that, because it’s not safe for her to hitchhike alone.  She said she could make some jewelry and maybe Sharly could sell it in the bookstore.  She said she doesn’t need much money for a one way bus ticket to Arizona.  I was like ok, she can do that, Sharly would be glad to sell her jewelry.  I told her she can stay until the weather warms up in the spring, I couldn’t possibly send her out in the cold.  She’s really cool and I kind of like having her around anyway.  Maybe I’ll just slip on my gypsy skin and take off with her.

I remember being at some kind of thing that was packed with hippies, a concert or something, kind of blacked out about what event it was.  I was just wandering around encountering people.  Jay and I kept getting nitrous balloons and temporarily losing our minds until we’d get another balloon, but we ran out of money.  We separated at some point and just went encountering in solitude.

I was kind of hungry because I can’t remember the last time I had eaten, might have been days.  I’d get money somehow and be like, cool now I can get food, but then Jay and I would go do more nitrous or get some more drugs of some kind.  I never knew how we got money, mostly people would just give it to us.  Strange but true.  Like this time I’m talking about.

I was walking along high as all hell and then I hear The Doors.  I was on a mission then.  I followed the sound of the music and it led me to a fucking hearse!  Now, a hearse is my dream car, yeah I’m morbid, but I always wanted to own a hearse.  I don’t own any car, but I’d like to have a hearse.  So when I saw this hearse and The Doors were blaring out of it, I just found my personal candy store.  My high ass said, “I love The Doors, and I love hearses.”  That was enough for them to invite me in and ply me with drugs.  Then they set me free hoping I’d come back later and buy some.  It’s a sales thing at these kind of events, a drug promo.  I just take the free shit and run.

My next stop was a VW bus, classic.  I was kind of aimless, just meandering in a cloud and a little weary from not having eaten.  The hippy guy said, hey man, you hungry?  I was like yeah.  He took me in the bus and gave me a YooHoo.  I was like, holy shit!  This is the best shit I’ve ever had in my whole fucking life!!  He laughed and said, “yeah I’ve been there man.”  It was just amazing how the YooHoo did everything my body was needing at that moment, like every cell in my personal biology perfectly synchronized with the YooHoo in this miraculous process of symbiosis!  Amazing.  Then he gave me a chunk of rosemary bread and some water.  We smoked some hydro and he gave me a YooHoo to go when I was ready to be on my way.

My next encounter was this guy from Belize.  He was in a van and saw me wandering around and told me to join him for a beer.  I sat in his van and we talked and drank beer, then when I was ready to go, he gave me $20.  I was like, thanks!  Then I left and found Jay immediately as if we were cosmically brought together at that moment because we were destined to get nitrous balloons.  We got 4 balloons with that $20, and contributed to the gradual malfunctioning of multiple areas of our brains.

Anyway, that’s the kind of hippy experience I have because I do a lot of drugs.  Also, you can make a hippy girl really happy if you give her a cool looking stone you found and tell her a cool story about how and where you found it.  It’s mostly groovy stuff I experience because I have good energy so I attract good people.  I also have a strong shield so bad people get the sense I’m not vulnerable and cannot be fucked with.  Now and again someone gives it a try anyway and it usually ends up with them getting their face bashed in with my fist.  If they’re really bad or evil or the type that would kill me if I did something like that, I get that vibe from them and have never been in that situation.  I know who they are though, I see them and they are surrounded by a veil of darkness.  They are the ones who take the young hippy girls and force them into prostitution.

Anyway, so Sweetheart has me thinking about taking off.  All that’s really here for me is Emma, and she’s not even here for me at all anymore.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough for her and it’s almost beginning to make me resent her for looking down on me so harshly.  Sometimes I feel inspired to improve myself.  Other times it feels like a waste of time because I just can’t figure out why I should bother.  It’s a lot of work for no reason at all.  Sometimes I think I have a reason, but then I get high and forget what that reason is.


previous Grimm 44: The Abduction of the Journal Part 2

next Grimm 46: Emma, Gary Oldmanism #1 of 2013, & the Gorillaz

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 44: The Abduction of the Journal Part 2

January 22, 2013

Ok so I was sitting there with my journal by the fire and I decided to open it and skim through my entries to see if there was anything so revealing that I should be embarrassed or maybe horrified.  I discovered that there wasn’t anything too personal, mostly experiences, very few confessions.  Apart from my feelings about Emma.

I took the bottle of whiskey out of the back pack and started drinking it.  Then I flipped through to my last entry and saw that there were very few pages left.  Those that were left were scrawled on by neither me nor my journal.  They said shit like this:

…oooh Grimm look out the shadowy guy is going to get you…

…Grimm you think you’re so great getting laid so much.  You think your cock is sooo big…

…Grimm sees dead people…

…Dude, you’re making this shit up…

There was a drawing of Emma with a mouthful of shark teeth, and me with my pants down, and it said, “You’re gonna need a bigger dick.”

Then there were various drawings of tits and penises, and monsters eating my body parts like popcorn, while watching a chick flick.

By the time I finished off half the bottle, I was feeling pretty good, no one had shown up and the fire was dying down.  I supposed I could just leave but I wanted to know who was fucking with me and instincts told me that they weren’t done with me yet.  So I took a hit of acid, because if I was going to be fucked with, I figured it would be cool to push the bounds of sanity a little.  By the time I finished building up the fire, I was tripping my ass off.

Then Danika came limping out of the woods all bloodied up.  She saw me, screamed “Grimm!  Oh my God!  Help me!”

I stood to rush over to her and someone runs out of the woods after her, wearing a pig mask and carrying a chain saw and he chainsawed up her back as she was limping away, then she fell to the ground, blood splattered everywhere.

I was like, what the fuck, enough already, but then the guy charged me and I was a little out of my mind from the whiskey and the acid, so I ran.

I scrambled over the hill, around a boulder, climbed up real fast.  Pig face tried to follow but lost me and kind of began to look around as he circled the boulder.  I waited until he turned the chainsaw off, then I jumped down on him and started pounding his fucking pig face.  When he had no fight left in him, I took his mask off and it was John.

Jay and Danika came running out laughing.  John was like, I told you I didn’t want to be this guy, I knew he’d kick my ass.

Then of course, I couldn’t be pissed off because this was the coolest prank ever and I just examined Danika’s torn apart false back.  They said it was easy to do since when she ran out, I couldn’t see her back, so I wouldn’t have seen any strange bulkiness.  The chainsaw also had no blades or anything, but when it was on, it was impossible to see that.

Then I began to wonder if I should have left and enjoyed all the drugs and alcohol myself, or waited like I did.  I decided I’m glad I waited because this was actually fucking awesome.  I didn’t tell them that for a moment I was scared out of my mind and came close to shitting my pants.  I did a little trick that I do when I’m tripping.  If something starts to freak me out, I remind myself that I’m a gypsy so I have that over all my friends.  I tell myself I can’t fail, I won’t fail, and if I wanted to, I could know everything that’s going on in the minds of everyone around me.  I could know their secrets.  I tell myself that no matter what reality is, I know I’m the center of it at that moment, so I only need to choose to react, so I should just stick to being cool.  So long as I’m cool, nothing will be bad.  Sometimes this plan doesn’t work, like when I decide to strip naked and run around in circles.  Because I’m tripping, sometimes stupid things seem deceptively cool at that time.

Anyway, we got cold and went back to the fire where I abandoned the bag of drugs, and the bottle of whiskey was half drunk by the fire pit.  I had shoved my journal in my coat pocket when I first saw Danika coming out of the woods, so I hadn’t abandoned my old friend.

They all took the other three hits of acid, I was going to peak before them, but that’s ok, I snuck a second hit.  I had a feeling this was the type of thing I was being set up for, so I brought five hits.  We sat around the fire, with hypothermia circling us, but not quite able to break in.  We finished the bottle, smoked a bunch of pot, and did the coke.  John’s face was only a little battered because the rubber pig mask kind of shielded him.  If it wasn’t for the snout I’d have broken his nose and bashed in some teeth.

We were so fucked up, but we decided that the cops would probably be there with the fire department at any time.  The fire was usually visible from the street below, that’s how stupid you are when you’re in high school.  So we put out the fire, and hiked down the opposite way from where the cops would come.  It was a longer, trickier hike, but my feet had a kinetic memory of the terrain, ingrained from when I was one of those stupid high schoolers.

I was thinking on the way down that I have assholes for friends but at the same time I was thinking they were probably the coolest friends ever.  They fucked with me so bad, yet for them to put all that time and effort to fuck with me, and then plan it so we’d party in the end, they must really like me.  So I was thinking that was pretty cool.  Who has friends like that?  I guess I’m a pretty lucky guy.  No one else has friends who abduct their journal and hold it for a ransom of drugs and liquor, threatening to post entries online, then terrorize them with a chainsaw and a torture porn/slasher/B-flick/classic cult horror scenario in the middle of the woods, only to end up partying with you and taking off before the cops make it to the quarry.  Yeah, I’m a lucky guy.  And my friends are kinda nuts.

And alas, this has been the story of the abduction of my journal.


previous Grimm  43: The Abduction of the Journal Part 1

next Grimm 45: The Tent, Sweetheart, & Encountering In Solitude

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 43: The Abduction of the Journal Part 1

January 20, 2013

My journal was abducted and held for ransom.  I didn’t write all that time because I was so worried about it.  Well yeah it’s like an old friend even though I’ve just taken up journaling.  But I was feeling a little exposed about the content, and a little loyal to the missing journal, as if writing in a new one during its absence would be like cheating on it.  The journalnappers sent me messages on its pages.  I’ve photographed them and pasted the photographs here.  Anyway, I will now describe the horrific account of the abduction of my journal.


December 3, 2012:  I don’t remember where I went or what I was doing this day, but I couldn’t find my journal anywhere.  This was disconcerting because it had a lot of personal shit I wrote in there about myself as well as other people.

December 6, 2012:  I received this in the mail:



Well I wasn’t sure how concerned I should be.  I mean, they included evil laughter and a maniacal LOL but I thought it was courteous of them to let me know they speak Spanish.  Very professional, equal opportunity and everything.  But who would do such a thing?  Surely it had to be someone very sinister indeed.

December 10th, I received this horrifying and heart wrenching photograph:


In this picture it is bound shut and photographed lying on a disgusting carpet.  I knew then my journal was being mistreated.  I was desperate to learn who the culprits were, but none of my friends would confess, and the only enemies I have are just random guys who piss me off in bars, then we fight and forget about each other.  Well, them and Randy, who’s a dick.

December 17th, this note from my journal itself deeply disturbed me:


First off, that’s not even my journal’s handwriting.  Second, my journal’s not a five year old.  they don’t write nice things…  Nah, my journal has balls.

Anyway, I began to really try to find out who was doing this to me.  Still, none of my friends would fess up.  I came to the resolve that my journal had been read by at least more than one person, since there was more than one journalnapper. So yeah, I’d been exposed, which sucked.  And someone was fucking with me, which was annoying, except sometimes when I was high enough it was really amusing to think about.  Especially when the next message came in the mail.

December 24th:


and being Christmas Eve and all, they sent it along with the note, a twisted gift:


I laughed hysterically at this.  Not because I’m morbid or because I wasn’t concerned about my journal.  I laughed because, well, it’s fucking funny.  My journal doesn’t even have fingers.  Which also was a factor in my knowledge that it didn’t write me that other message from the week before.  My journal could never hold a pen.

At last it was on January 4, 2013, I received this final message:


What was I to do, but oblige them?

So I did as I was told.  It was cold and dark as I trekked through the woods and some snow with a flashlight and my backpack filled with drugs and alcohol.  I went to the Pissing Tree as instructed.  The Pissing Tree, is the tree upon which we piss when we’re partying here.  We don’t come so much because it’s really a high school hang out.  If we do come, it’s during the day mostly, then the cops don’t come because we’re like hikers.  Being 23 that would be really stupid to get arrested for doing something I got away with in high school.  But the cops are more diligent now.

Anyway, there were no high schoolers there at that time, it was way too cold.  But then I noticed a light just over the hill in front of me.  It was coming from a fire.  I walked over the hill, saw a campfire, saw my journal still bound, leaning against a rock by the fire.  At least they were keeping it warm, though it was clearly frightened.  I walked over and unbound it, then we sat together by the fire waiting for its captors to reveal themselves.  It was nice to be together again.


previous Grimm 42: Lauren & the Castaway Christmas

next Grimm 44: The Abduction of the Journal Part 2

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 42: Lauren & the Castaway Christmas

January 16, 2013

Ok, here’s what happened with Lauren.  It is a brief, yet shocking tale.  I was working a lot more as Christmas was approaching so it was busier.  Sharly hired a couple temporary second people, but she was smart about it.  She must have interviewed 20 out of about 100 applications.  How the hell did I get so lucky?  Once she narrowed it down to 3, she had them come back for a second interview so I could meet them as well.  It was a high school kid, a married mother of 3, and a cute 27 year old.  Sharly chose the kid and the mother because she could only hire two people.  She told me that she didn’t hire the girl because of the way we were looking at each other, there were sparks flying.  She actually said that there were sparks flying.  Sharly said she didn’t want us sneaking off in the backroom to fool around.  She’s right though, we probably would have.

Anyway, I’m working with this kid through the holiday and past it, right up until New Year’s.  After Christmas the kid comes in and asks Sharly if he can put up some flyers and she said ok.  They were a missing person flyer with a photograph of Lauren on it.  Turns out she was only 16 years old and went to his high school.  She’d been missing since October and he was starting to get scared for her.  I don’t follow the news so I’d been missing reports of it.  I had no idea she was that young.  I thought she was 19 the youngest.  It was all so suspicious.  She never left my apartment and she only had the one set of clothing.  She walked around naked or in my clothes a lot at the beginning until Morgan brought her some clothes.

So, I brought the flyer to her and asked her what that was all about.  She told me she ran away but she wouldn’t say why.  I told her that I wasn’t in any position to be taking care of her and that I’d never take advantage of her either.  I’d never have had sex with her if I knew she was that young.  She said she didn’t want to end up in the system or go into a foster home, she was scared.  Unfortunately, I didn’t know what to do so I told her to just go through the formalities, and call me if she needs me.  In the end, after time in a group home, she was sent home where her family could work things out based on court mandates.  So hopefully everything works out for her.  Makes me sad.  I should have asked her sooner what her deal was.  It bothers me that not only was she sleeping with Randy, then me, in order to have a place to stay, but also that I actually perpetuated that without any thought that maybe something was up.  She called me a couple weeks ago and said that her family is working things out, they’re getting family therapy and individual therapy, and her dad’s getting anger management.  Her mom called not long after and thanked me for taking care of her.  This just made me feel more guilty.

Anyway, we did have a good Christmas.  I only went to my folks’ house for a short time because I wanted to stay home with the castaways aka Lauren and Pete.  The week before Christmas, I borrowed some money from Sharly.  Pete and I took the money and went and got a tree and some decorations.  We came home with it and Lauren didn’t know we were doing that, so she was all excited.  We put the tree in the stand and that was a fucking pain in the ass but we got it up.  We put lights on it and ornaments that we got, and a star on top.  Then we popped popcorn, got real high, and strung popcorn and cranberries.  It took so long that at some point we decided to take acid because we figured the time wouldn’t seem so bad.  Then after we strung it, hours and hours later I think, we realized we should have put the popcorn cranberry garland up before the ornaments.  So we just kind of laughed the entire time.

Lauren was so happy with the Christmas tree that Pete and I decided to buy her a bunch of presents to put under it and plan a little family celebration of our own.  Morgan took us out to help us buy her some girly stuff, because Lauren’s very girly.  We bought her clothes and make up and nail polish and lotion and bubble bath, stuff like that.  I also picked out a girly teddy bear for her, because Lauren’s kinda cuddly, so I wanted to give her something to cuddle while I was at work.

Pete and I got some rum and egg nogg, and bought an Elvis Christmas cd and a yule log dvd.  On Christmas day we ordered Chinese food.  We put on Santa hats and gave Lauren the presents.  I’ve never seen anyone so happy in my life.

But now she’s gone and I miss her and thoughts about her make me sad, and I wish I could go back and do it all over again.  I’d let her stay and take care of her and not have sex with her.  How was I supposed to know?  If it wasn’t for the legalities, I would have let her stay here permanently even after I found out she was a runaway.  But she’s gone, and at least we can stay in touch.  Her mom said I can visit anytime, so I’ll probably do it.  But I just can’t seem to stay clean long enough to get the balls up to do it.  I don’t want to go there high or drunk, but I don’t know how not to do that.


previous Grimm 41:  Pete & Grimm’s Punk Philosophy

next Grimm 43: The Abduction of the Journal Part 1

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 41: Pete & Grimm’s Punk Philosophy

January 14, 2013

Ok, second entry of my new journal, this is like an adventure.  Anyway, I said I would talk about the pilfering of my journal, Lauren, Pete, and of course Emma.  I want to begin with Pete.  I’ve known Pete since high school gym class, kind of.  I used to skip whatever classes I could whenever I could and one day I skipped out on gym class.  I was heading back to the school before the next class just before the bell and Pete was outside smoking, so I stopped to join him.  This was freshman year about a month into school, we’d never interacted before.

He said he didn’t like showering at the school, I was like, tell me about it, it’s gay.  I literally said that.  Little did I know that 9 years later I’d find out he was gay.  But I meant it like gay as in stupid.  Lame expression, yeah but I was 14 at the time, so yeah a stupid kid.  Anyway, I liked Pete and we started hanging out.  I never once suspected he was gay.  He was just kind of the sensitive, gentle one of the group.  I’d be getting into fights and he’d be trying to break them up.  He was the most diplomatic, so I always admired that about him.

Just before Christmastime, maybe a couple weeks before Christmas, Pete came out to his parents that he was gay.  He figured since it was the season to be jolly, or the time to love everyone, his parents might be more accepting.  He was wrong and they kicked him out of the house.  Being 23 it was time he left anyway.  Doesn’t make them lesser assholes though.

Pete came to me so I told him he can stay with me.  This was after my journal was pilfered, obviously.  I already had Lauren there, I’ll talk about her and when she left my apartment at a later time.

Pete’s still with me, and it’s Monday night and the hippy girl from the rave is still here too, and I still don’t know her name.  I just call her, “sweetheart” because she’s a sweetheart.  She’s all hippy and peace and love and shit like that, so she’s unrealistic but adorable.  Hippies are optimism.  Emos are pessimism.  (Do Emos still exist?  I haven’t seen one in a while.  Maybe the goths ate them).  PUNKS JUST DON’T FUCKING CARE ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.  Hippies share their half full glass.  Emos don’t think they deserve the half empty drink and try to deny it even exists (then the goths drink it).  PUNKS SMASH THE GLASS AGAINST THE WALL AND DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE.

Whatever, back to Pete.

So Pete has been living here since about the 10th of December.  He’s kind of depressed so I haven’t asked him to leave.  He also works and is respectful and kind of quiet.  He makes enough money to contribute to the grocery bill and the utilities and to pay for his cell phone which he had to get onto my plan, so he gives me like $150 per month.  That was cool because Lauren wasn’t contributing anything more than sex, which was fine, but I’m glad she’s gone because it just started to feel real weird, yeah later about that…

Anyway about a week ago, Pete confessed that he’s always had a “crush” on me. Damn, that’s even weirder.  The conversation went like this, (ignoring the lead up to it):

“I’ve always kinda had a crush on you.”


“I’ve always–”

“I heard you.  A crush?  What are you, 12?”

Pete giggled like a 12 year old girl.  Not really.  “Well I don’t know I just didn’t want to keep it from you anymore.  Just wanted to be honest.  Do you want me to leave?”

“Pete, man, I’ve stayed friends with girls who had it for me, it didn’t change anything, no big deal.”

“You don’t care?”

“Well yeah, I mean, I kind of like when people have a thing for me, boosts my ego.”

“So you’ll let me stay since it boosts your ego.”

“Nah, I’ll let you stay cuz we’re friends.”

“Awww that’s sweet.”  Pete said sarcastically.

“Shut up bitch.”

So yeah, it’s cool having Pete around anyway because I think he’s my stablest friend and he’s just a real nice guy.  He’s kind of a good influence on me.  He encourages me to write because he thinks I’m a good writer.  He’s also offered to help with Emma, but I’m not ready yet.  I can’t go after her until I think I’m worthwhile enough for her.  I can’t be this sleazy, lazy, irresponsible, alcoholic, drug addict that I’ve become.  She’s a lady and she deserves more than I can offer at this time.  But I’ll change things, not just for her but for myself.  I can’t be like this forever or I’ll die before I reach 30.  I’m not checking out like James Dean, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, or Kurt Cobain who cheated because he didn’t have a J in his name (though he probably smoked one just before he blew his head off).  But I just need to figure out how to make things change because right now I have no fucking clue how to go about it.


previous Grimm 40: The New Journal, the Accidental Gay Experience, & the Hippy

next Grimm 42: Lauren & the Castaway Christmas

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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