July 25, 2014
Bogart called Ashley Wednesday night while I was at work. Pete and Cola instructed him prior and he had notes all written out kind of like a sales person. ‘If the person says this, you respond with…’ etc. Ashley wants to go out but she wants to meet at a public place and she wants to bring her friend and her friend’s boyfriend. Bogart said ok but he wanted to bring his friend and his friend’s girlfriend. He meant me. He told me when I got home from work that he’s never been on a date before and he wants me there to make sure he does everything right. He actually said that he knows he’s kind of insane and he wants to learn how to be a real person and interact with real people and not be a delinquent, a criminal, or a patient anymore. And of course I want to help him with that, which is the reason I invited him to live with me. The only way he can learn to be a 22 year old guy is by being immersed in a world of people around his own age. Kind of like learning a language, total immersion works.
Anyway, I don’t have a girlfriend and Iona is taking a break from me. I had some girls’ contact info in my phone, but that phone fell in the toilet at Sharly’s the night I performed for Emma. I’ve since gotten a new phone, but I lost most of my contacts, those I didn’t know by heart or couldn’t find out through a little research. I thought of asking Ayla, since at least it would be guaranteed that I’d get laid or a blow job or both, but I decided to go looking for a girl. I heard from Snow White the other day and unfortunately she won’t be coming up to visit. It has to do with time, money, and a bunch of different things going on for her. I was kinda looking forward to her visit, but shit happens and then you step over it and keep walking.
So yesterday, I decided to spend my entire day looking for a girl. I figured if I failed, I’d try again today, and if I still failed, then I’d ask Ayla. Our plans are for around noontime Sunday, but they’re up in the air in terms of where we’re going or what we’re doing.
At first I couldn’t think of how to meet a girl. I don’t think I’ve ever ventured out specifically for that purpose before, unless I was going to a bar, and it wasn’t the only goal, rather it was more of a fringe benefit. But I’m meeting less girls than ever since I don’t do anything that gives the opportunity for meeting them. Not like going to bars. Plus without the alcohol, I tend to be more apprehensive about approaching. There are a bunch of different girls that come in the book store sometimes. Sharly calls them my groupies or my fan club because they like to talk to me or they talk to each other about me, Sharly’s heard them talking. But they’re all youngish. And I realized yesterday one reason why I lean towards older women, because they’re obviously not teenagers. Some of those teenage girls look like twenty somethings and that freaks me out. I’m kind of traumatized from the Lauren incident, I guess. I’m going to be 25 in a couple of weeks and I draw the line at 20, not even as young as 18. I guess because 18 is too close to high school. And I’ve seen those girls at college, they seem so young to me. Speaking of college, that’s a great place to meet girls, but my entire first semester back I was invested in my performance for Emma, so I was too distracted. Except for the sorority girl incident with Cassidy. That put me off college girls, at least temporarily.
Anyway, so I decided, after much thought, that the best way to meet someone when you don’t go to bars is at a place that you personally enjoy going to, because there’s at least that shared interest. I thought of a book store. I work at a freakin’ bookstore. But like I said, my groupies are youngish, and the girls, or I should say women, who come in that I would be interested in, Sharly probably wouldn’t like it if I were to flirt or hit on them, since I’m in a professional position. Well, they need to flirt first at least. Besides, I’ve been sleeping with Iona, distracted in life otherwise, so I just haven’t bothered to put the pheromones out there, until yesterday when I went to Barnes and Noble.
I thought a book store would be best, because I like a girl who likes to read. I planned to spend the entire day there until I had to go to work. I sat in the café drinking cappuccinos and finally finishing Steppenwolf. I’ve decided to make it a point to read every day now. I used to read more, then there was all the drugs and alcohol and my being generally fucked up that ended the habit of reading. Plus with my brain injury from the Gangsta, I have processing issues, so reading can be a slow and painful process, which sucks. The processing problems otherwise are tolerable, because it usually happens in conversation with people, and since I tend to be quiet, it gives me time to devote to interpretation before I’m ever expected to say anything. My psychicisms and intuition help to offset some of that lapse though. One on one is easier, it’s when there’s a lot of people, it’s hard to follow everything everyone is saying. Also, I’m forgetful, and I’ll sometimes forget what I’m doing or where I’m going. My mom tells me that’s what it’s like to get older. So I guess that by the time I’m at the age when that normally would start to happen, I’ll be freakin’ senile.
Anyway, I sat in the café reading, and occasionally walked around the store. I was there from 9am after running until around 2pm. I had to work at 5. I had just finished my book and was thinking about giving up. I probably missed some girls while my face was in the book anyway, but then SHE came in, and my heart dropped into my stomach, and my nerves made me kind of tremble. The caffeine wasn’t helping. I watched her walk up to the counter and order a coffee, then turn around and walk out the door. Ok, so she didn’t get a book or read, but I also like a girl who likes coffee…
…However, I can’t finish this story now, Invisible Journal Reading People. We’re going to the beach today. Bogart has never been to the beach. Pete has to work, and Cola’s going to Boston for the weekend because she has a studio where she works on her art, which I just learned about. She’s been working in her room here now that she has more space than in Howard’s basement with me. We actually allowed her the largest bedroom in the apartment for that purpose. But yeah, the plans for the beach happened spontaneously last night with Astrid. It will be me, her, and Bogart. And so now I have to stop writing and get ready to go. We’re going early so we can get back in time for me to work.
I’ll have to tell you about the girl another time. I think I might be in love with her. But it’s hard to tell, because it’s almost impossible to tell the difference between love and wanting sex, until you have sex, then you know it wasn’t love, but you just wanted to fuck her, but you’d love to fuck her again. It’s just how I’m wired, I guess.
Yet with this girl, I believe it’s different.
My theme song today is Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf” because Bogart likes early 80’s music, including Duran Duran, and yeah it works thematically.
previous Grimm 199: Bogart Meets a Girl http://wp.me/p41c99-10z
next Grimm 201: Grimm Meets a Girl http://wp.me/p41c99-11j
For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J
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