Well aren’t I a lucky one? This is Hasty’s final post about her trip, and in effect it is the final post about the entire journey. I just feel humbled by this post, and the others. But I’ll come around from my speechlessness to say, yes Hasty I would be honored to blog marry you. And you have to know that whenever I want to tell you to come back soon, I always think at first in my head, “come home”.
HASTY VISITS SAGE IN BOSTON
Hasty and I decided to write our final posts individually, so here it is, my last post about Hasty’s visit up to Boston. Writing about her going home brings a little sadness reflective of driving her to the airport and the inevitable goodbye.
Hasty and HastyKid returned to Oklahoma on June 29th. We talked about my possibly visiting the Hasty’s with my family at some point. She says there’s nothing there, but I’m sure we’d have a good time no matter what.
Before I talk about her departure, there’s someone I forgot to mention. When we were at Hampton, I found a toy soldier in the sand at our spot on the beach. I was excited to find the soldier and put him in my pocket to take home. But, um, I forgot him in my pocket and he went through the washer and dryer, and now, not only is he an amputee, but he also has a flaccid weapon:
Anyway, Hasty honored me with a copy of her book, Depression’s Dance, which she signed for me:
As you can see, she inscribed it to “Sage”. She asked me if I wanted her to write it out to my real name or my penname, but it seemed fitting for her to sign it to my penname. “Sage” has become the name which is highly depictive of my true self, the essence of who I am. Taking on the penname has helped me to find myself in many ways, as I have been otherwise anonymous and have had interactions without physical appearance or nonverbal behavior dictating those interactions, human involvement strictly through words alone. As a writer and a person, it’s been a fascinating and unanticipated journey. Also, during Hasty’s visit, she and HastyKid called me Sage, which I really liked. Sometimes I think it might have taken me a moment to respond if I was occupied with something. I also referred to Hasty as Hasty, and it was a struggle to introduce her to people using her real name. HastyKid I referred to by her real name and my son called her Junior. “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
Anyway, the morning we brought her to the airport, we all got up at 3:30 am and left by 4. We made our second trip to Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee and breakfast. The first was the day we went to Boston. You can’t visit Massachusetts and not go to a Dunkin’ Donuts. Along the way, we sang Green Day, or at least I did. At some point we were talking about sports and activities the kids were involved in throughout their lives. This may have taken place on another day, however I do recall that on the trip to the airport, Hasty told us that once during a soccer game HastyKid was playing, a hot air balloon landed in the middle of their field. Later when we were leaving from the airport, we saw hot air balloons flying above the highway, so I photographed them and texted them to Hasty.
Here is Hasty and HastyKid at the airport. It’s a little blurry, but everything was happening so fast. It was very sad and difficult to say goodbye, and we all still miss them.
Hasty sent me this picture of HastyKid on the airplane wearing a Boston sweatshirt and reading “Make Way for Ducklings”, which is a children’s book about a police officer who stopped traffic in order to allow a mother duck and her ducklings to cross a busy Boston street safely. It’s based on a true story and while in Boston, we visited the little statues of the ducklings at the Public Garden. I bought HastyKid the book while we were at the airport and I was glad to hear that she loved the book and read it a couple times on the plane.
And as I said, while my family and I were heading home from the airport, we saw these hot air balloons, which reminded me of Hasty and HastyKid drifting away from us on their journey home. It was a beautiful symbol, but again very sad.
It was an incredible connection I believe we had, and Hasty left with us all a little in love with her, and wanting more.
Thanks for visiting Hasty and HastyKid, come back soon.
Day three I woke up late with HastyKid laying on my arm drooling and snoring. We slept so well and so hard every night and this day we got to sleep in and HastyKid needed it. Sage was full throttle when we finally made it downstairs. He makes really yummy banana pancakes and we all laughed at his silliness when he made little tiny pancakes, touting them as a European portion.
Before I forget Sage and Sage Jr also made us a batch of Lavender Lemonade that was both extremely delicious and very colorful. And the morning before the beach we had scones and eggs he cooked just for us. HastyKid is kind of an egg freak. Sage made the scones blueberry which is my favorite kind of berry… so yea it was yummolishess.
Wifey Sage had some business to take care of so she stayed home while Sage drove us around. First he took us winding around to the top of a mountain. I took this picture of his leg.
Sage Jr did a little bit of rock climbing and at one point HastyKid dropped a shoe over the side of a lookout tower.
Oh, and we also passed a really cool guy playing bagpipes. The sound was absolutely beautiful.
After the mountain we went to meet Sage’s parents for lunch. He grew up in a storybook home that HastyKid and I fell in love with. Sage’s parents were awesome and we had a wonderful lunch together. We also made S’mores with really, really, really long sticks because HastyKid was afraid of getting too close. And then I felt up his mom. I can still feel her butt in my hand as if it were yesterday. I didn’t mean to but she is taller than I realized, so I guess now we have bonded in a way she will never forget.
We left Sage’s childhood home and headed to a park where the Zombie Picnic took place in The Journal Of Wall Grimm. I will let Sage tell this part of the story because I never remember the names of any of the mountains or parks. It was a really cool park though.
My favorite part of the day though was just driving around seeing the country side and the cute little New England towns. We visited a place called the Old Mill and saw some New England stone walls. I also loved how we listened to John Denver as we drove around the mountains and to some Italian music as we drove around the country side.
To end the day we went to a small carnival. The kids rode a few rides, played some games and we all had fried dough (which is super tasty).
I rode the big pirate boat with Sage Jr which was a blast. We sat at the very end with only one other person on the other far end. I kept raising my arms screaming and would tickle Sage Jr every time he dared to raise his arms. I kept trying to get the guy who ran the ride to just hop in but he was very dedicated to his job. He even let us ride again for free.
We ordered pizza on our way home and crashed. It was a long glorious day and we were beat. Sage and I sat drinking wine and getting to know each other which was really good and then we all played apples to apples.
I am so very, very glad I spent my vacation visiting Sage Doyle and I can’t wait to see him and his family again. I miss them everyday!
First I want to say that Hasty actually cooked the eggs. I got them started. I was very proud of myself for cracking them open into the pan without breaking the yolks, but I’m really bad at flipping them without breaking them, so I passed the torch aka spatula to Hasty to do the honors.
My parents’ house is like a bed and breakfast. We moved there when I was five. They tried to sell it when my sister and I were in high school, but we got depressed about it so they took it off the market.
We built a fire at their house, burning a bunch of my old bills, and here is a picture of my s’mores, or smores, or s’more, or smore, (we were trying to figure out if one is a smore or a smores, if smores is also singular).
These are Hasty’s toes while we were sitting on the swing.
Most of our day was spent in North Central Massachusetts. I’m familiar with the Peninsula, Coastal, Eastern, Northern, and Western, MA, but not very familiar with the South Central part of the state. I wanted to take Hasty to see some small New England towns that weren’t coastal port towns, but I didn’t want to travel as far as Western, MA since we wanted to be sure to have enough time in our day. As Hasty said, I took them to the location that I envisioned when I wrote “The Journal of Wall Grimm 109: The Zombie Picnic“. I don’t think I mention the name of the place in the post, but I went there often as a kid. It’s Coggshall Park, and when I was writing the post, I remembered this park and envisioned a certain area where there was a huge stone table. So that’s where I set the zombie picnic. Here’s Hasty on the table:
And here she is under the table, and no we weren’t drinking:
At the carnival, my son won at a game and he picked out this pig as his prize:
We laughed at the unfortunate looking creature, which was kind of pathetic, not so much like a pig, but at least now he has a good home.
When we got home, it was great to finally sit and have a conversation with Hasty. We sat outside on my patio drinking my favorite cheap red wine, Carlo Rossi Paisano. But the kids kept coming out and saying that we promised to play Apples to Apples with them. We kept saying ok, give us ten more minutes. One of the funniest things HastyKid did was at a point when both kids were out, both agreed to ten more minutes, then my son went inside to oblige us. There was a moment of silence and then HastyKid broke out into song. She sang, “Memories, all alone in the moonlight…” She’s got the soul of a classic comedienne, I still laugh about that.
Before going in to play, Hasty and I began taking various pictures of my various body parts in order to post them. Mostly we photographed my hands and then parts of my face through the wine glass. The face images came out bizarre and distorted, kind of like Picassos. And there must have been something with the lighting because a lot of the hand pics came out lumpy and old looking.
Obviously there’s a lot that’s a challenge for everyone to fully appreciate as they read, which is why I just reviewed my list of “had to be there” moments from the post, “Levitation, Groping, and Baggy Camo Pants” on Hasty’s blog, and I now have decided not to describe those moments. They wouldn’t make much sense or be very funny to anyone else. But here’s one, since I documented it, I might as well subject you to it. When my family and I play Apples to Apples, we always read the green cards at the end of the game and say it’s supposed to describe us. I did it in a Grimm post once. But here are the cards Hasty, the kids, and I got. I think some of the words are pretty accurate, but I wonder about others.
Hasty – absurd, addictive, dirty, exquisite, irritating, unusual, wild
HastyKid – nasty, foreign, violent, principled, dramatic, awesome
Sage Jr. – miserable, filthy, cowardly, dead, dainty, corrupt, juicy, rough, intense, cute, mystical, obnoxious
Sage – desperate, unhealthy, neat, quiet, selfish, cosmic, brilliant, courageous, exciting, magical
All of mine are accurate by the way, except desperate, unhealthy, and selfish. Of course.
Hasty and I have two more posts planned with regards to her visit with me up here around Boston. I may add a third one spontaneously if there’s more I want to say. Anyway, since it’s a very busy weekend for me, those posts will resume on Sunday or Monday. Hopefully that’s all right with Hasty, since she may not know that herself until she reads this post. But Hasty is very easygoing, as I’ve already established. Once all the posts are done, I plan to make a category for her visit, including one post with all the links in order, to simplify the archives.
As for Wall Grimm, he will resume once those posts are finished. I’m sorry he’s been on hold, but I only have the opportunity to write early in the morning when no one else is awake, then my day begins. Summer’s a busy time for me, but it’s all fun stuff.
Once again, I’d like to apologize for not keeping up consistently with visiting everyone’s blogs. I made a dent the other day, and I’ll try to visit when I can over this weekend, but I plan to catch up over the course of next week.
HERE’S A QUESTION FOR FANS OF GRIMM: would you be interested in devising a reason for Grimm’s lack of journaling for two weeks? I have my own idea, yet I’d consider other scenarios that would fit into his world, and I’d give you credit for the idea. You can either comment with your ideas below, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org Just something to think about.
Lastly, I want to welcome my new followers. I’ve gotten quite a few since the Hasty visit and those posts have been going on, so I can only assume a majority of you are coming from Hasty’s blog. Thanks for coming by and following. I don’t know how long you plan to stick around, but in case it lasts beyond the Hasty posts, this blog’s true nature is that of the fictional journal of Wall Grimm. So feel free to ask any questions about what that is and what goes on here. You don’t need to read the journal from the beginning either, I’d be glad to fill you in so you can start right from the next post.
And that’s all for now, have a great weekend.
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!
Here we go with the continuation of Hasty’s visit, day 3, Hampton Beach, NH. Enjoy!
Remember that list of “had to be there” moments? Well, some of those probably won’t get covered. But the day at Hampton Beach, NH is when I showed Hasty how to crack open a lobster; my son has mastered all but the tail. It was the day of the black oil, not as in the X-files, though that’s exactly what it looked like. We joked about it along the ride home, referring to it as lobster menstruation. There’s one story.
Another story you’ll be reading about today is the beaver anus juice. Hasty thinks I’m funny, but I’m not. I just have the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old at times. Anyway…
Hasty and HastyKid had never been to a beach before in this capacity. The spot we were at on Hampton Beach was perfect. The waves were big but not too powerful, no undertow or rip current, and the floor…
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I think I’ll let Hasty write the rest of the posts because I like the way she describes me, I sound like a pretty awesome guy. Thanks Hasty! Anyway, funny she should say she only saw Sage Jr. use the bathroom because we never see him use it. We’re always like, “don’t you ever go to the bathroom??” And it’s true, I get irritated by other drivers regularly and I openly voice that while driving. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who knows how to drive. Anyway, here is a post written by both me and Hasty. Hope you enjoy it.
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Last night I was about to reblog this, but first I researched that black oily substance to be sure I told Hasty the right information. I used to eat lobster all the time but I don’t eat meat anymore. I have been focusing on the raw food diet, not so much during Hasty’s visit, but yesterday when I ordered a grilled romaine head Caesar salad, I guess I should have expected an entire head of romaine lettuce, grilled. So yeah, I ate that.
Anyway, researched the black stuff and in most places I found that it was uncooked roe. Hasty found that it was something else less pleasant. My research lead me to believe that the lobster itself was undercooked. Then I began researching the dangers of eating undercooked lobster. Basically, I had broken open the tail and served this potential poison to my son. There was so much conflicting information on the internet, that in the end I called the poison control center and the on call doctor at the pediatrician’s. I was reassured that if he was going to get sick, he’d already be sick, and if it’s any kind of parasite or tape worm he could get, I’d see evidence in the next few weeks, but the chances are unlikely. The dr. said those cases are rare and it has to be significantly undercooked seafood.
So now I can reblog this. There’s more I want to say about the beach, but we’ll cover every bit of the trip somehow, someway, sometime.
Today the Sage family and the Hasty family went to North Hampton for a day at the beach. I have to say HastyKid is a natural and is dreaming of becoming the next big surfer girl. She had a blast riding the waves with Sage Jr and after getting buried in the sand, Sage Jr made her look like a mermaid, we decided to eat sandwiches and write a poem together. Below the poem started out with Sage Jr, then HastyKid, then Hasty, then Sage. Wifey Sage decided to just soak up the sun and enjoy our genius.
I would like to say the beach and ocean swimming is way more fun than I ever thought it looked. After the beach we went to have lobster and Sage had to show us how to eat it. Sage Jr. got a pregnant lobster and let me just say I am really, really glad I had…
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I apologize to all my readers that I haven’t been able to respond to comments or visit your blogs, but Hasty has been a huger responsibility than I could imagine. We spent the entire day in Boston yesterday, and by entire day I mean just about 11 hours. It started out fine, but then Hasty went completely nuts and hijacked the Duck Boat while we were in the middle of the Charles River.
If you look down in the right corner you can see the tour guide’s hand in a gesture as if to calm her down.
Then she and HastyKid, who is too smart to be a real kid, I think she’s some kind of adult freak of nature Betty Button or something, they conspired to blackmail me and expose my identity to the world for a million bagillion dollars, which I don’t have. I tried to compromise with them, but they went mad and began to bully little children off the carousel in the Common.
Somehow we made it home safely, still with talks about black mail. It’s now the early morning hours and they are asleep and she doesn’t know that I’m blogging to implore you people for help. But first, let me tell you my real identity, before she has a chance to. My real name is Guido Idiota Fettucine. My son is Alfredo Fettucine. My wife is Marie Jean D’Arc Marie Marie Marie Babette Fettucine, maiden name Soufflé. She’s Canadian. And she’s not even from the French speaking region, so yeah her name’s a little strange.
Anyway, Hasty doesn’t know I’m posting this. It was literally an 11 hour day, great day in Boston and we’ll be posting more about it sometime soon. But the truth about Hasty is that she’s an incredible sweetheart and beautiful person. And speaking of beauty, she was still looking good after we got caught in a near down pour while we were on the swan boat ride in the Public Garden. But I’ll be polite about that. I did offer her my jacket but she didn’t want it.
Then there’s her daughter, who truly does have a very sophisticated wit. She’s got a great personality and she’s hysterical. She’s also a great house guest. HastyKid is very polite and cleans up after herself, puts her dishes in the sink, and she’s just a pleasure to have around the house. Hasty is a fantastic mother and she has done well with this little girl. I’m sure HastyHusband had something to do with that too, because HastyKid expresses often that she misses him and every now and then I get the sense that she’s a little homesick, which is expected when a kid is away from a good home.
I guess that’s it for now. As I said, I’ll be by catching up, and then some, once this adventure comes to an end. It may take some time, but I won’t let you down.
In the meanwhile, stay tuned….
Well, after Hasty’s description of me, I think I’m attracted to myself. I think she’s exaggerating anyway. However, she’s definitely as beautiful as she appears on her blog. And she’s as warm and genuine as I expected. HastyKid’s very cool. Having them here seems too natural to feel strange. All right, time to plan our day tomorrow.
Yesterday I renewed my VERY expired drivers license so I could fly to Boston on Wednesday to see Sage. My daughter and I woke up all bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to go at 3:30am and got to Boston about noon. This is what we saw when we got to baggage claim.
Sage’s son made us this superstar poster! So I met Sage and he has the most gorgeous brown eyes. I mean I felt a bit weird because I kept sneaking looks at his eyes. And his wavy brown hair is even more swoony than I had imagined. Oh and before I forget he wore his kilt which was amazing times 5. He smiled more than I expected which made hanging out with him really easy.
After we got picked up from the airport we stopped off at Walden Pond and took some cool pics. I think Thoreau…
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