December 18, 2014
Last night, I accidentally got stoned with Astrid. To say it was accidental may seem to make no sense, but it’s true that I didn’t purposely intend to get as stoned as I did. I’m just a layman now when it comes to smoking pot since I don’t do it anymore. All it took was two hits, but it was good shit. Anyway, let me set up the scene. My name is Wall Grimm and here I share my tale of getting high by default, as opposed to my fault.
WALL GRIMM THE BAKER
I went down to see Astrid to give her and her daughter their Christmas gifts early. I haven’t mentioned her daughter yet, but I don’t see her much since she’s always with friends. She’s 16 and her name is Shaye. So I went down there and Astrid, Shaye, and a friend of Shaye’s were planning to get high. (There needs to be some clarification as to why Astrid would smoke with her daughter, and why I caved and smoked since I’ve been so well abstained, but I’ll get into that in another journal entry). Shaye was incapable of rolling a proper joint so she resolved herself to pack a bowl. I could’ve done it, but I didn’t. I’m stubborn like that.
Before I write anymore, I have to say that I wanted to be sure to tell the complete story, so I wrote notes in the memo of my phone. I think I’ll show you the notes first and explain later:
1. Too humble to think of a better word than cool
2. The new boots are like people. They’re outside they’re slippers. They’re inside they’re boots. Opposite that.
3. Astrid making up words insisting they’re in the dictionary with me puppet show two asses hiding or thinking so from behind couch what was she thinking Astrid didn’t know we were seen but I did daughter doesn’t flush toilet daughter high but once her friend got there she blamed it on us but first said we were awesome but changed it to annoying once she got caught she said her name is Shayte spelled s h a y t e but that was my mistake she really said Shaye
4. Salsa sauce
5. Elf on a shelf
6. Tin foil wrapped around itself with a sock on its head and a joint
7. Felt like Ron Swanson dancing
Ok, these notes need clarification.
I’ll start with the last one. When I used to get high, I was real cool. I was Ron Fucking Swanson:
After two hits, I became Ron Swanson on Snake Juice:
Yep. That’s me.
I blame Astrid.
Allow me to translate the notes:
1. Astrid said she probably wouldn’t remember anything, so I said that when she wakes up, she’ll only know this fact, “Grimm’s really cool when he’s high.” Then she said when I’d wake up, I would think “Astrid’s really insightful when she’s high.” Then she told me the word cool was lame and I had to think of a better word. I said no, my vanity was only allowing me to extend so far as “cool”. She said that I was too humble to think of a better word than cool.
2. She has these boots that are like boots when you wear them outside, but they’re comfortable and like slippers when you wear them inside. When I wrote the note about that I made a mistake and wrote it the opposite way. I was too stoned to change it, so I followed up with “opposite that”. But yeah, this is where she got insightful. She said “like people”. They change depending upon they’re environments. This can be either a physical or psychological transition. Or both.
3. This note was a bunch of things mixed in. I’ll explain the Shaye name confusion another time. And I guess Shaye doesn’t flush the toilet. Self explanatory. Astrid just told me to write that in my notes, I don’t know why. Then there was when Shaye’s other friend showed up. She mumbled to him that we were high and said that Astrid and I were awesome. Astrid said “what?” Shaye said, “you’re annoying.” Astrid and I looked at each other. We knew the truth of it. We knew we were in fact awesome and Shaye knew it too. She was just wicked high and pinning it on us. But as for the rest of this note…I think this deserves a journal entry all on its own, so I’m going to leave this for another day.
4, 5, and 6 will be included in that journal entry.
For now, let me get down to the essence of the experience of getting high last night with Astrid.
I was trying to be cool like I used to be, but Astrid was making me laugh. I tried to be kinda quiet, which I prefer to be, but whenever I did try to talk, she’d go off on a different tangent. Astrid has ADHD – Attention Deficit when High Disorder. I was determined, however, to finish whatever I was saying before her diversions. I’d have to trace back the conversation to where it started and try to figure out the point I was trying to make and how the commencement of it lead to where I ended up. I should have just quit but I had to do it, if only to prove to myself that I was capable of rational, clear, and sequential thought, hence enforcing the solidity of my cognition. The all powerful and functioning faculties of Grimm. There’s an innuendo in there…
Anyway, the result was that what would be a five minute story turned into an epic tale, though I wished I could just stop talking. But I had to finish the fucking story. That’s all I wanted. And in the end it actually was only five minutes that these moments of suspected verbosity lasted, because I frequently checked the time. Time slowed down so it seemed like forever.
Then, as I was trying to explain something and she would go off with it, wandering around the house cleaning or something, she just couldn’t stop moving, and she wouldn’t stop talking, she’d just go off with what I said and then when she’d finally sit down she’d say, “oh I get it” and then explain to me what I meant. I told her it was an interesting process to see her basically have a conversation with herself and work it all out until she made sense of it. I was glad that I didn’t have to explain it to her, because then we’d just end up in one of those cycles again.
Last thing I have to say for now, and I’ll write more about the rest later, is that when I used to get stoned I was pretty quiet and serious. But last night I couldn’t stop laughing. And what follows is an observation I’ve made in the past when I’d stay quiet and watch and listen to the other stoned people in the room. Last night I experienced it for myself.
There’s usually a couple people following everything more than everyone else. One is the quiet one, like I used to be. Ron Fucking Swanson. The other is the one who can have spurts of verbosity but no matter what, just laughs a lot. That was me last night. Ron Swanson on Snake Juice.
When you’re laughing at people when they’re stoned, they think, because you’re laughing so much, that you’re stoned out of your mind and so they laugh at you, though they are likely more stoned since they didn’t even realize you were only laughing because of how stoned they are. Or it could be opposite of that, and you don’t even realize it. However, when I’m stoned, I’m always convinced I’m in a state of perfect acumen. When I’m stoned, I’m super aware of what’s going on, but last night I felt like I had no control over my body, like I’d forget it exists since I was so enwrapped within my own mind. I’d have to break out of my mind from time to time, and try to pay attention to what I was physically doing, since my body language is the culprit that would expose how high I truly am, when I’m experiencing presence of mind rather than presence of body. Things I say make sense. But because people don’t always follow what I’m saying, usually because they are too stoned, they assume I’m not making any sense, and my awkward physicality only validates that opinion. Of course, one needs to be stoned in order to think this way.
But then, what I wrote above is a rough example of the kind of shit I say when I do speak, so who the hell can blame anyone else for not following me.
To be continued…
I have no theme song for this journal entry. Instead, I’m going to take a moment of silence to reflect upon the teachings of Ron Fucking Swanson.
previous Grimm 218: Valentina, Internal Battles, and the Distraction of Jessica Lange http://wp.me/p41c99-16N
next Grimm 220: This Journal Entry Has a Title http://wp.me/p41c99-17z
This is the snake juice scene, with Ron Swanson dancing at the end:
For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J
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