“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 198: Bogart the Psychotic Acrobat

July 20, 2014


I had taken some time off from work to make sure Bogart’s transition into living with us went smoothly, but I’ll be working tonight.  As Cola predicted, Bogart has grown used to her cross-dressing, though he still calls her “he”, which we correct, and sometimes he stares at her with speculation.  I wonder if he’s not just tempted to fuck her, since she’s in a skirt.  Yet Cola is like the mother to our group, she’s got clearly defined boundaries.  She thinks of Bogart as a baby, since they’re about 10 years apart.  Although, she can be a flirt and speaks in innuendo to me at times just to mess with me.  C-O-L-A Cola.

Regarding Pete and Cola, they agree that roommates should not get into sexual relationships since that ruins the dynamic of the household, and they’re not each other’s types anyway.  They both prefer masculine men, and both say that I’m their type and it’s a shame I’m straight.  I guess that’s kinda flattering.

Anyway, there are some things that this week has brought, mostly regarding Bogart, but it includes things about our new apartment, and our landlady Astrid.  My name is Wall Grimm aka Constable, aka Caballero, aka Cowboy, aka twat, bugger, cunt, nutter, and here is a recap of my new world as of late.


*Bogart jerks off a lot, and very openly.  We send him to his room and make him close the door.  Even Pete has learned to do that, though he admits he’d rather watch.  Pete’s like a closet pervert.

*Whenever one of us leaves the toilet seat up, Cola will tell us we need to put the lid down because there’s a lady in the house.  Bogart’s response is usually something like, “But…ya go’…but…you’re…” and then he arghs like a pirate and stands silently baffled and staring.

*Bogart has been less talkative, due to the medication, but he has his moments.  This is usually when he’s bored and we’re all preoccupied by other things.  He’ll pace around us wanting attention, interaction, activity, and then he’ll just start talking incessantly, not to any one of us in particular, just out loud.  He seems to have a difficult time being alone, and when we’re all preoccupied, even though we’re there, for him it feels as if he is alone.

*He’s not used to getting his own food.  We comprise a list of food we all like, we each pitch in, and take turns going shopping.  We don’t have Bogart pitch in.  We’ll be getting his social security checks and depositing them in a bank account we set up for him.  It will just go in there and stay for his use if at any time he needs it, so he’ll have himself a good savings.  If needed, Cola volunteered to exceed her stipend on Bogart’s behalf, since as I said before, she’s wealthy from her art and she restricts herself to live like a “real” person.  Anyway, we have plenty of food in the house but Bogart’s not used to getting his own food.  He’s been in programs, prison, and institutions so he’s used to being told when it’s time to eat and then following the hordes.  We kind of fend for ourselves and occasionally one of us will cook a dinner.  When we cook, that’s the only time he’s sure he can eat.  Otherwise, he waits until food is offered to him, usually when we’re feeding ourselves.  If we don’t tell him to specifically go and get some food, which results in us helping to get it for him, there are times when we hear his stomach growling.  He won’t ask for it or get it himself, no matter how much we tell him he can.  I don’t think he’s even ever been in the kitchen by himself.

*I’ve learned a couple new expressions from him.  Sometimes he’ll call a girl “fit” which seems to be the equivalent of “hot”.  If he wants to fuck a girl, he’ll say he wants to go “balls deep.”  That one is very literal and makes sense and I like it.  But it seems hard to use in a sentence.  ‘I want to go balls deep with her’, ‘I went balls deep’, ‘I was balls deep in that fit bird’.  Yeah, I think I’m better off being Sicilian.  I’d be a very awkward Englishman.

*Bogart is afraid of Astrid’s cat because it’s bipolar and will attack you while it’s in the middle of accepting affection.

*Bogart has used Astrid’s swing in every incorrect way possible:  while he’s upside down, half hanging off, underneath, or on top of it.

*I don’t remember if I mentioned that Astrid has a trampoline, but she does.  He likes the trampoline and jumps around on it until he pukes sometimes.  Once, Cola got me up there to jump with her, and we were alternating jumps, so that when one of us went down the other would go up, and as a result we’d go higher.  She decided she was done and got down.  I began to stop jumping so I could get down too and Bogart came running across the field, I didn’t see him coming, and he jumped on it so hard, I went flying off.  Landing knocked the wind out of me, but I was all right.  Bogart was laughing hysterically while he kept jumping on the trampoline, like some kind of psychotic acrobat.

*Astrid’s friend Matt doesn’t like me because I’m straight, doesn’t like Pete because he’s gay, doesn’t like Cola because she’s transgendered, and whenever we’re down hanging out with Astrid, he doesn’t stay long.  In terms of Bogart, Matt doesn’t seem to completely trust him or think that Astrid’s safe with him living there.  Bogart will talk and talk innocently, with all of us scarcely understanding what he’s saying because of his accent, and then it’s like he gets a sudden vibe from Matt.  Bogart will just shut up and gaze at him.  It’s kind of intense, and when he does that, Matt is less willing to leave because he thinks Bogart’s a psychopath.  I think however, we are all growing on him, since we help Astrid by giving her food when we cook, supplying her with toilet paper, buying her butts and wine, and I mow her lawn.  I assume however, that Matt likes Pete the best because he’s pretty normal, and since he’s gay, he’s no threat.  Matt has feelings for Astrid that are not mutual, but he doesn’t seem to get the hint.  That’s why he hates me anyway, because I’m competition as far as he’s concerned.  I don’t listen to their conversations in general or on purpose, but sometimes if they’re down on her patio, and I’m up on the balcony having a smoke, I can hear what they’re saying.  And I’ve heard her tell him that I’m just a kid, young enough to be her son, and that’s disgusting, how could he think that about her.  I don’t like to think it would be considered disgusting to have sex with me, but I appreciate the essence of what she means by that.

There’s more shit to say, as usual, but I’ll save it for another time.

My theme song for today is “Just Dropped In” by First Edition, because I learned that Bogart likes Kenny Rogers, even though this song isn’t the classic Kenny Rogers most people know.  I just like it and I love the scene it’s used in, in “The Big Lebowski”.   Bogart has a diverse range of musical tastes which are a very, very bizarre assortment:  Kenny Rogers, early 80’s music, Marilyn Manson, and The Beatles, to name a few.



previous Grimm 197:  Boundaries and Hidden Meanings http://wp.me/p41c99-ZX

next Grimm 199: Bogart Meets a Girl http://wp.me/p41c99-10z

For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

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12 thoughts on ““The Journal of Wall Grimm” 198: Bogart the Psychotic Acrobat

  1. Reblogged this on SageDoyle.

  2. Enjoyed this post. I don’t often write comments , but do keep up when I can. Also I had an occasion to see Kenny Rogers and the first edition live when Kenny just joined the group. The group was called The First Edition then and Kenny was brand new. They did “condition” and rocked it. The record was released shortly thereafter. The female singer was Helen or Ellen Camanchoff (sp) and she was terrific.

  3. I am fascinated with your journal & the characters that populate the page. I plan to read more.

  4. Wall Grimm’s journals are creative and entertaining. And his friend’s sex slang gave whole new meaning to the embedded video. Just wondering why Grimm’s more negatively tinged a.k.a.s trend toward the feminine? I mean, he seems pretty influenced by Virginia Woolf – a woman – after all.

    • Glad you noticed about the video! I try to slip in subtle things like that occasionally, most go unnoticed, but I don’t point them out, I just like doing it. And Grimm is mentioning the aka’s that have been established by other people: Bogart calls him Constable, Cola calls him Caballero, Iona calls him Cowboy, and Bogart also calls him twat, bugger, cunt, and nutter from time to time. But that’s interesting what you said. You know, I’ve never read Virginia Woolf, not that I recall, which is bizarre to me in retrospect since I have my B.A. in literature. Anyway, I’m curious about the influence that you notice, and I want to add Woolf to my list of books to read now. Please explain and educate me ;)

    • Oh I did read Albee’s “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” and I saw it performed in Boston starring Kathleen Turner and Bill Irwin. But that doesn’t really count.

  5. Now I seriously just want to jump on a trampoline


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