June 20, 2014
All right well Hasty posted her take on her upcoming visit up here in Boston, and so now it’s my turn to document mine. It feels very strange for me to befriend someone online to the extent that I would invite the person to come and stay in my home. Every time I ever heard of such a situation I thought, “those people are nuts”. I guess I’m nuts. I tend to have good instincts though. Besides, I’m picking her up at the airport, so if while I’m waiting for the image on the blog to get off the plane, instead a 7 foot tall guy with tattoos featuring tales of dismemberment approaches as if to confess he’s the real Hasty, I’ll have to leave the airport without her. Or him, if that was the case. Obviously, the situation must be much more frightening for Hasty, since she’s flying about 1700 miles away from home to a city she’s never been to before, to meet a stranger from the internet, and stay in his home. She sounds more nuts than me, right?
But when I think about it, I know I’m harmless, so I’m not concerned about her, but I don’t know her really, so there’s always that question in the back of my mind, “am I doing something that I will regret?” Then my instincts kick in again, and I’m not bothered by it at all. Essentially, the instincts overrule the hesitancy, since if the opposite were true, then I wouldn’t be inviting her to begin with. For the most part, I feel like we’re old friends and that we’ve known each other for ages, I just haven’t seen her for a while. So it was interesting to read her perspective when she said she felt as if I was a cousin that she’s never met before.
Anyway, other than the natural reservations that come up in this kind of situation, I wonder about other things. Will she enjoy the trip? Will she like my home? She says she feels as if she’s going to meet a celebrity, so will she be disappointed? Not that I want her to continue to feel that way, but it’d be great if we got along, because what if we hate each other? Will she think I’m a slob? Nah, never mind that last one. This place is clean because it had to be de-spidahfied, since Hasty doesn’t like spiders. I tend to get a lot of spiders. Maybe that’s my fault since I catch them and put them outside, so it’s probably just one spider and he’s fucking with me. But yeah, I hope she’s not disappointed and regretful.
I asked her what kind of food she likes to eat, and she said she doesn’t really eat anything but she’s been into eggs lately. Ok, that sounds simple. Stock my fridge with eggs. We’ll be out and about doing stuff a lot anyway. The following are some of the things we’ve discussed as possible ventures out. My name is Sage Doyle and these are plans we discussed, not listed in any particular order:
HASTY’S AND SAGE’S PROSPECTIVE ADVENTURES
1. Since I don’t live directly in Boston, we’ll spend a day there, definitely go to the Common, I can show her Cheers from the tv show, Quincy Market/Faneuil Hall, Fenway, we can walk the Freedom trail, etc. etc…
2. We will go to Salem, probably the same day as Boston, if we get to Boston early enough. Salem’s pretty small. There are some shops and a couple of museums like the Witch Museum and The House of Seven Gables.
3. We plan to go to the beach one day, tons of beaches to choose from, but I have one in mind, maybe.
4. We’ll definitely go out for some lobster, especially since there’s the best lobster around here and it’s cheaper than if you get it in Maine. I don’t eat lobster anymore but I know Hasty likes it.
5. I’d like to take her for a trail hike, and I’d also like to drive her to the top of a mountain so we can have a picnic lunch. I don’t think she’s hiked mountains much, so we’ll only hike it if she wants to, but not if she won’t enjoy it.
6. I’d like to kind of take her around and see the local area, some of the small New England towns, old cemeteries. If there is time we could go to Walden Pond and the DeCordova Museum.
Basically there’s tons of stuff around here, with little time for us to do a fraction of it. When Hasty did the research, she was dumbfounded, I think, at how much there is surrounding my location. I love it here for that reason. I could go to any of the New England States in under 8 hours, 4 hours for New York or an hour if I take the commuter plane from Boston, 8 hours for Pennsylvania, or 5ish hours to Canada. These are rough time estimates, from my memory of making those trips. I haven’t done that in a while.
So Hasty and I tossed out some of the main ideas as mentioned above, and we’ll kind of just go with the flow. Obviously we need to fit in some time to relax and get to know each other and do a couple blog posts. I’ll have the privilege of doing a poetic duet with Hasty in person. That’s wicked awesome. Oh yeah, maybe Hasty will leave here with the word “wicked” as a part of her vocabulary. Also, she may learn why not only are we referred to as “Massholes” but we also proudly display bumper stickers that simply say “Masshole”. On that note, I just realized that I have to take her to Dunkin’ Donuts. There’s a Dunkin’ Donuts on practically every corner of every street in every town and city of Massachusetts. That’s only a slight exaggeration. I’ve been to Dunkin’ Donuts in other states and it’s not quite the same. I can’t remember what state it was, but I went to one and asked for a medium regular. They gave me a black coffee. I asked, “where’s the cream and sugar?” They pointed to a self serving station. I was like, “you mean I have to put it in myself?” It was culture shock for me. I was baffled. In many of the New England towns there are building codes, so Dunkin’ Donuts designed a structure to meet those codes in order to get into those towns. DD also is sure to set up shop not far from many campgrounds. I remember reading an article, which who knows if this is true or not, but Ben Affleck was filming a movie in his home state of Massachusetts and wanted to do a scene in a DD. Someone suggested a Starbuck’s because that’s THE place for coffee. Affleck responded with something like, this is Massachusetts, it’s got to be a Dunkin’s. Maybe you have to be from Mass to know that.
So yeah, I guess Hasty will know things about me that I’ve been secretive about. I don’t conceal facts about myself to be deceptive or anything, it’s only just because I’m a very private person. What once started as a penname has become an identity, which was not anticipated and is kind of strange, kind of fascinating. My personality shouldn’t be a surprise though, since I’m pretty much as you see me here.
I don’t know how Hasty does it with all the links she included in her post, that’s so freakin’ time consuming and greatly appreciated. I think she pretty much covered our online collaborations and her character in Grimm though. And since she has over 13,000 followers, I’m pretty sure that those of you who are following me are following her too. But if that’s not the case then be sure to go on over and visit her blog. http://hastywords.wordpress.com/ She’s a sensitive person who is intensely passionate about her beliefs and ideals. She’s a profound poet and what I perceive as a very genuine soul. I feel honored that she trusts the idea of me so much, that she has chosen me to visit, of all the bloggers. Definitely an honor that I’m looking forward to.
I’ll close out with a video, maybe for Hasty’s benefit, maybe just for the hell of it, but it’s classic, maybe only appreciated by Massholes:
Shit Boston Guys (Massholes) Say