April 24, 2014
Iona let me crash at her place for a few days, and she even let me drink. She didn’t want to me to drink of course, but I convinced her that I’m just taking a break from life, I’ll stop again, I just need this break, and I also convinced her to get me to the store to buy me more Jameson’s and chianti. I’m a lightweight these days. And I got cigarettes too. I’ll quit smoking again as well.
I’m relapsing yeah, but I’m doing it responsibly. I’m not just disappearing like I tend to do. I told Howard I was staying at a friend’s for a few days or so. I contacted all my professors and told them I’m really sick. That’s not a big deal because I’ve barely missed any classes so I kind of reach my maximum absences after this week. I can’t miss any more after this, but that won’t be difficult because the semester ends in a few weeks. Besides, I’m not lying, I am sick. I caught something. So Iona also brought me to get cold medicine. I say she brought me because I’ve been too drunk to venture on my own. But I went with her because I don’t want to be this big loser, drunken invalid.
Anyway, I also contacted Sharly and told her I won’t be able to work. She has begun to have her girlfriend cover for me whenever another employee can’t cover me. She doesn’t want to hire someone else, because then I’ll lose hours. I’ve been really responsible, so this isn’t that big of a deal. I can’t remember what her girlfriend does for work but she sets her own hours and can do some work online, so it’s not an inconvenience for her to step in spontaneously. She can also get some work done while she’s at the store.
I called my mom and said I was sorry that I was avoiding her but I just didn’t want to have to explain what happened. She tried to press me on what provoked me to punch Uncle fucking potato ass face Dan, but I told her I didn’t want to get into it. Uncle Dan told her he has no idea. But he knows. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t. Well, he’s an idiot either way.
On Wednesday, Cola called me because she returned from visiting her family and I wasn’t at Howard’s. She said, “You’re not at Paula’s, are you?”
“I didn’t think so. You must be at Iona’s.”
“How do you even know that.”
“I know how you think, Wall Grimm. I read your journals.”
It’s a positive that she’s read them because then she knows shit without my having to explain things, or myself. The negative is that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get away with anything around her. She could tell I was drinking and called me a little bitch who needed a slap, then demanded me to tell her where Iona lives so she could come rescue me.
“I don’t need rescuing.”
“Yeah you do. Iona will take care of you, I know that, but she loves you so she’ll do whatever you want, including let you drink.”
Before she left for Iona’s, she confirmed that I had Gary Oldman (II), which I do because she came with me to my parents’ house on Easter. I passed her off to my cousin for a second when I punched Uncle Dan in the face. Then I took her back and left. She’s pissed at me though because of my relapse. I think she blames herself because she thinks she’s not doing her job as an Emotional Support Service Animal. I have to keep reassuring her she does a good job, but she keeps giving me dirty looks. Then I say if she’s mad at me it will just make me sad and I’ll drink more. So then she stalks and attacks me and tries to get me to play. She’s good at what she does. I don’t pay her enough.
So yesterday, Cola arrived at Iona’s and I was really drunk. I don’t remember a lot of details about these past few days. One thing I remember is offering myself sexually to Cola if she would get me more booze. Oops. But first I was like, “are you a pitcher or a catcher?” She said she was vers, which means versatile, which means both. So I told her she’d have to be the catcher in my case. She said she didn’t want to “catch” anything from me, at least not while I was a drunken slut. “Offer again when you’re sober and I’m all yours, cowboy.” She called me cowboy because she knows that’s what Iona calls me.
I also remember that at one point I had been talking about my book Amon-Re and I jumped on Iona’s kitchen table shouting, “I am the Creator and Lord of Eternal Light!”
Cola said, “Are you the Lizard King too?”
“I am the Lizard King! I can do anything!”
Then the table fell out from beneath me. Or maybe I just fell off the table. And I don’t remember anything after that.
I’m waking up at Motel 6. Cola’s up and she told me she had to throw me over her shoulder and take me out to her car. By the time we got to The Sheraton, I was awake but could barely walk, so they claimed there was no vacancy. Cola says they just didn’t like the looks of us. She’s a trannie, I’m a drunk, and Gary Oldman (II) was giving them attitude. She said we’re going to a better hotel tonight so that I can have my away time and break, without having to face Howard, and in a safe place where Cola can babysit me and slap sense into me. I guess I’m ok with that, I like staying in hotels. I asked Cola if she wanted me to pay for the next one, she said not to worry about it, she’s got the money. Then I asked her how she makes money, she said “those are details for another time, Wall Grimm.”
At this moment as I’m writing in my journal, she’s trying to read over my shoulder but I can tell she can’t decipher my handwriting. So I’m going to write the following sentence large and clear for her to be able to read:
COLA’S SO BEAUTIFUL I WANT TO FUCK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HER
She’s laughing now and calling me a slut, and now she went in the bathroom to do her morning ritual of looking like a woman again. I feel like shit, sick, hungover, wanting more booze, and feeling emotionally like shit too, disappointed in myself and discouraged. But I suspect that Cola is going to get me through this just fine. She’s a great person.
And she just called out from the bathroom, “Wall Grimm, do you want to fuck the dead shit out of me too? Because I’m a little backed up, I need an enema.”
She’s funny. C-O-L-A Cola.
My theme song for this entry is “Laid” by James, because Cola’s singing that right now while she’s in the bathroom.
previous Grimm 180: Secrets, Acceptance, & Rage http://wp.me/p41c99-N2
next Grimm 182: The Tale of Jean Nicolas Valiquette http://wp.me/p41c99-OB
I’m including two versions of “Laid”. The first one I have to include because he sings “cum”, while in the second version it’s changed to “sing”. But I’m including the second video as well, because it’s more interesting.
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