February 17, 2014
On Valentine’s Day, first I shopped. Then I went to my parents’ house. I brought them Dunkin Donuts coffee and heart shaped donuts. I also brought a box of chocolates, roses, and a card for my mom. We sat and talked for a little while. I wrote in the card that she was my first ever Valentine, and that made her cry and speak Italian.
After that, I went to Sharly’s. She had closed the book store those past couple of days because of the weather. I brought her chocolates. We sat and talked for a little while.
Next I went to the pet store because Iona was working, and while there, I got Gary Oldman (II) a Valentine present, which was one of the those plastic sticks with the long feathers on the end because she loves those. She also loves stuffed animals, so I got her a little pink bear. Turns out she likes pink, girly stuff. She’s a very feminine cat. Anyway, I got Iona roses. We talked for a little while, but she was working so I couldn’t stay long. She wanted to see me that night, but I made no plans with anyone because I wanted to be available for Emma in case I could convince her to spend time with me.
After Iona, I went to see Hasty, and I brought her chocolates. It’s awesome to do shit for Hasty because she gets very excited and happy.
Then I went to see Sweetheart. I brought her chocolates and a teddy bear. It made her cry. She said Valentina would have liked the bear. She’s beginning to break my heart. I know she’s hurting if she’s sticking around at Pete’s because she’s a bohemian, and would typically be running off somewhere.
Last person I went to see was Paula, who was working from home because of the weather. I brought her flowers and chocolates. She wanted to fuck me and of course I could have gone for the sex, but the day was all about Emma as far as I was concerned, so I only wanted to think about her, focus on her. I didn’t stay at Paula’s very long.
Then I went home and after giving Daisy chocolates, I gave Gary Oldman (II) her toys. Gary Oldman (II) was the happiest of them all, since with her it’s all unconditional. I don’t have to be my best or make good choices and she expects nothing from me. She just wants my love. And food.
Anyway, I finished all my Valentine activities by 5pm. I showered and shaved and dressed nice and went over to Emma’s by 6:00. I brought her chocolates, roses, and a cd I made with three songs on it by Roy Orbison. “In Dreams” “Crying” and “Only the Lonely”. Romantic but I was hoping it wouldn’t be too stalkery, not too intense. She wasn’t home and Gwen wouldn’t tell me where she was. I didn’t want to leave the stuff with Gwen because she probably would have trashed it. I also didn’t want to trust that Gwen would even tell her I stopped by, so I texted Emma that I brought her stuff but she wasn’t home, so I’d give it to her another time. I wandered around for a while, walking in the cold and going to Dunkin Donuts, just hung around nearby her place in case she’d text me that she was home and I could return. But by 8:00 I hadn’t heard from her so I went home.
I stripped down to my underwear, played with Gary Oldman (II) and started watching “Cockneys Vs Zombies” on Netflix. They were all easier to understand than Bogart, but they’re actors so I guess they have to articulate. It wasn’t that exciting anyway so I fell asleep. I don’t usually fall asleep like that, but I was kind of tired from being heartbroken I guess. Well, maybe the handful of valerian I took had something to do with it. It’s a very effective herb. Though I was heartbroken and didn’t want to think, I wanted to sleep. Yeah, it’s painful when you love someone and they want nothing to do with you. I keep telling myself I should give up. But I can’t. I have to keep trying until she either resolves herself to fall in love with me or she gets a restraining order.
I’ve been figuring that the latter would be more likely, but then she actually showed up at Howard’s. It was about 10:00. I didn’t even hear her knocking, or her text, but apparently Howard saw her car, heard her knocking and he told her I was home so just to go right in. So she did, and there I was on my back in my bikini briefs unconscious and holding Gary Oldman (II)’s little pink bear, with Gary Oldman (II) sitting on my head, and yeah I also had that hard dick you get when you sleep. And bikini briefs don’t contain the old boy once he’s ready to go.
So she walks in and wakes me and I sit up, wipe the drool off my face and cover my dick with my pillow. Very romantic. All I had hoped for that evening: saliva, an erection, and Emma on my bed.
I was groggy and a little light headed, but I got up, threw on my jeans and a tee-shirt. She said she was sorry she wasn’t home when I went there, she was out to dinner with her parents. She was also sorry she came so late, but they went to a movie after dinner. I don’t even remember what movie she said they saw because I was kind of out of it. She asked if I was ok, and I knew she thought I was on drugs or something, but I told her I took valerian and I was sleepy, so she laughed. That’s the best sound. Emma’s laughter. Except when it’s at my expense of course. But she laughed and it was nice.
Then she told me that she had been wanting to come by once I came home–meaning from the institution–in order to offer her condolences for Valentina. She said I was a good father and she admired me that I took on the responsibility. I showed her the necklace and tears welled up in her eyes. I almost cried myself so I went to the bathroom and washed my face. When I came back, she said, “you have something for me?” I gave her the chocolates and roses and the cd. She wanted to play the cd right away but I was kind of embarrassed and regretted making it, though I put it on anyway. We listened to “Crying” and “Only the Lonely” quietly. I felt sick to my stomach and I felt like I was dying. When, “In Dreams” started, I said it was the last song. She stood and said, “Dance with me.” So I stood and we started to dance. My whole body just swelled with so much emotion it was unbearable. I was holding her closely and she couldn’t see my face. It became all about not crying and not dropping to my knees and begging her to give me a chance. It was also about not being so physically close that she could feel that I was hard again. She moved and looked up at me. I wanted to kiss her so badly. When the song ended, she kissed me on the cheek, touched my face and said, “you are the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”
I didn’t want to tell her how much I love her, or try to kiss her or do anything that would ruin this. Then I’d probably push her away again. So I just said, “thank you.” We decided to watch MST3K like we used to do. We sat on the bed and were watching it, but I didn’t last long, I fell asleep because of the freakin’ valerian. When I awoke at 3:00am, she was gone, but she left a note. It said, “Thank you for a beautiful Valentine’s Day. Love, Emma.” And she left me a chocolate truffle from the box I gave her because she knows that’s my favorite.
And in the end, she actually came to me, and I did nothing to upset her, and she called me sweet, and she said “Love, Emma.” The only way it could have been better is if I proposed marriage and she accepted. But I think pacing it, and not pushing myself on her might work after all. Maybe it’s not impossible. Maybe.
previous Grimm 162: Spam, Terminator Penis, “Walking Dead”, & Valentine’s Day http://wp.me/p41c99-zo
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Hasty is based on herself from http://hastywords.wordpress.com/
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