Monthly Archives: February 2014

Wall Grimm’s First Novel, age 4

My name is Wall Grimm and I have been a writer since a young age.  A master of suspense and intrigue, you could say.

This is my first novel which I wrote when I was 4 years old, under the guise of Valente Grimani:

The novel is called Sgoobedoo which is how I creatively chose to spell, Scooby Doo.

scooby doo

It appears that I was also a prodigy in the art community as well.  My mother never told me that, perhaps she was protecting my modesty.

scooby doo 2

Brilliant character development for such a young age.  I’m trying not to brag.

scooby doo 3

This is the intrigue.  Who is this friend?  How did they meet?  Is Shaggy jealous?

scooby doo 4

This is touching.  Readers learn the depth of Sgoobedoo and then he just says, “bye bye”?  And what is his friend’s name?  …Suspense.

scooby doo 5

We may never know the answers to these questions.

The End


*This is a real book that I made when I was 4 years old.  –Sage


Categories: RANDOM GRIMM-NESS | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 165: Gender, Psychicisms, & Grimm Morrison the Lizard King

February 25, 2014

Sharly has decided to start a kind of coffee house thing at the book store.  She’s going to have singers on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.  On Sunday afternoons and Wednesday nights she’s going to have poetry slams.  Friday night was the first night.  That’s pretty cool and I’ll get to work some of those times.  The best thing about it for me personally, is now I have an official venue when I want to perform my song for Emma.  Sharly said we could make it a special party for whatever reason I decide to say I’m having it, and The Convoy and I can perform.  That will be weird though because we usually just jam, and it will be strange to perform in front of all the people I know.  It will be awesome though to be able to show I’ve been doing something constructive, and by then I’ll have completed my first semester back at school, so I’ll have a lot to be proud of.  I just need a way to guarantee that Emma will be there, and I also need to know when she’s planning to move to Spain.  Maybe I can call it a going away party, then she’ll definitely be there, but then I’d also have to invite all her friends and family, since we don’t really have the same group of friends.  She’s hung out with my friends rarely, but only with me, and not vice versa.

The question is, if I throw the party specifically for her, and all her friends and family are there, would it piss her off or embarrass her if I were to perform for her in front of them?  I’ll have to figure something out.  But I will be feeling kind of shy up there.  I’ll be like Jim Morrison when he used to sing with his back to the audience.  Grimm Morrison.  “I am the Lizard King, I can do anything.”  “I am the crawling king snake and I rule my den.”  “Let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen.”  “Eyes in her nipples.”

Anyway, I remember a long time ago, when Emma used to have conversations with me, this was before it got awkward because my heart would throb and the blood would be pumping to my dick which throbbed as much as my heart, and I’m sure she sensed it.  Especially after I professed my love for her.  Or maybe it started to go downhill that time we kissed and she slapped me.  Anyway, I remember her telling me that she was tired of being sexualized.  That was when she’d tell me that she liked being my friend because I don’t sexualize her.  But she had no idea what thoughts were going through my mind.  I just treated her like a friend and it just got to be too much to contain.  But yeah, she said she hated to be sexualized and that she identifies with men more than women, but she is never not a woman.  Yet she doesn’t get the pure interaction with men that other men do, because she is no doubt a woman, and the sexualization happens no matter how much they respect her.  She told me she wished she could live life in a man’s shoes for a while, not for sexual reasons, but just as an identity, to get to know herself in a different way, and to have people respond to her in a different way.  Since sometimes we inadvertently define ourselves by how others view us, and their view of us is usually skewed by gender.  She said gender skews perspective more often than race.  And she’s saying that as both a woman and a non-white.  I’ve heard other women too say that they like to be “one of the guys” but it’s hard to always be treated in a gender neutral kind of way.

Personally, I have a very difficult time treating women like men, or disregarding gender.  I feel sexually attracted to most women.  There is an inevitable sexual tension between me and most women I interact with.  But, the thing is, I’ve got my psychicisms going on and I sense it come from them as well.  I perceive their sexualization of me.  The difference I guess is that maybe men don’t feel the need to prove themselves beyond gender, but women seem to want that recognition.  When a guy is sexualized, it just boosts his ego.  In that way, I guess there is an under the surface sexism in our society.  Not that men expect the whole barefoot and pregnant thing, but that for many men, a strong woman is a threat against their manhood.  If a woman does something better than them, they feel like less of a man.  A lot of men don’t feel that way though.  I don’t feel that way, and I think most guys in my generation don’t for the most part because we’ve been raised around strong women, the women post suffrage and post equality and all that.  Because in our history, those things didn’t happen too long ago.  It’s a very young era.  But yeah, I never feel threatened by strong women.  I admire them.  Anyone who feels threatened by someone else’s power, regardless of gender, has their own personal issues they need to contend with, which shouldn’t be imposed on anyone else.  My issues are based on myself, not other people.  And the strength and abilities of other people don’t cause me to feel like less of a person in anyway.  It just gives me inspiration.

I just happen to know what I’m capable of, and I know it’s some good stuff.  And I used to use my psychicisms to my advantage, now I’m getting back to that again.  They were blocked for a while, or overwhelmed and distorted when I was drinking and drugging.  If I’m in a room and someone walks in, I immediately know their mood and how to be around them.  I know what their impression is of me, whether or not I know them.  I was at Dunkin Donuts the other day, and this guy walked in and I just knew he felt insecure because he was older like 50’s and overweight and he wanted to be young like me, and I’m in good shape.  He felt self conscious that I might be judging him because of his age and size.  That I would be forming opinions about him as a man or a person.  I knew he felt uncomfortable around young people, and he missed his youth.  He was going through a phase that plagued him with dissatisfaction and a lack of fulfilment in his life.  He traced it back to his younger days and other choices he could have made.  So that’s something I don’t want for my self.  I don’t want to be older some day and feel unfulfilled.  I want to look back on my life with the wisdom I gained through my experiences.  I want to look back and forgive myself for mistakes I made along the way, and the pride in how I survived.  I want to like who I am when I am older.  I don’t want disappointment to cloud my sense of self or shape my identity.  And I don’t want my greatest disappointment to be not “getting” Emma.  If it never happens, I want to move on from it with dignity.  No more groveling.  This performance for her will be my final effort.  Then she will move to Spain, and maybe I will never see her again.

And though there will always be a part of me that pines for her, essentially I just want her to be happy.  And if I’m not capable of making her happy, it doesn’t matter, because she knows how to do that for herself, which makes her a powerful person, regardless of gender.

My theme song is “Indian Summer” by The Doors.


previous Grimm 164: Grimm’s Culminating Identity

next Grimm 166:  The Actors, the Disney Princess, the Egyptian God, & Uncle Dan

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 156-170 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Emma’s Love Song & Other Blog Stuff

This is an update regarding:





EMMA’S LOVE SONG Some of you may have read my post “In Need of a Singer/Songwriter for Wall Grimm’s Love Song to Emma”.  In that post, I state the deadline for submission to be March 15, 2014.  However, though I did receive responses in the beginning, it has been about 2 weeks since anyone else has expressed interest.  I’m choosing not to reblog or pursue it because I found someone I believe can capture the essence and mood I’m looking for.  Thanks to everyone who emailed me!  There’s a lot of talent out there, you’re proof of that.

I have selected Kev at  I will write the lyrics, then send them off to Kev and he will write the music, then perform the piece.  His performance will be a sound recording and/or video (whatever he chooses) which I will include in the post when Grimm performs the song for Emma.  I’m looking forward to this, so thank you Kev for being involved and bringing Wall Grimm to life that much more.

BLOG SCHEDULE Currently my blog schedule consists of daily posts in this cycle:  “The Journal of Wall Grimm“, Amon-Re (which is the novel that Wall Grimm is writing), and a poem.  I’ve been reblogging Grimm and Amon-Re on my Sage Doyle blog, and I’ll continue to do that for a while.  I’ll give a heads up if I plan to stop reblogging.  I never reblog my poems here.  Anyway, I like this schedule, but I just want to throw something in the mix.

One day per week, any random day, I will plan to do something different.  Some possibilities are: updates like this post, some posts for my RANDOM GRIMMNESS category, fellow writer promos, reblogs, etc. etc.  Or, I may take one day to not post at all in order to work on writing projects that don’t pertain to the blogs, such as querying agents, preparing submission packets, or eventually beginning a new novel.

After the one day of something different or nothing at all, the cycle will just resume where I left off.  I’ve kind of been doing this, but now I’m making it official, especially now that I realize I do need a day to devote to my writing apart from the blogs.

JOURNAL POSTS I often have people express to me that they need to “catch up” with Grimm.  But I know how little time we all have as artists.  So I just want everyone to know that, rather than having to go back and read older posts, and this includes Amon-Re, if at any point you have questions about plot, situations, references, or characters, just ask whatever you want, and I’ll fill you in, no problem.  I can even refer you to posts if you want.  This is especially true for some new followers who maybe don’t want to go back to the beginning.  This offer will always be in place.

PAGES I just want to mention some of my blog pages.  On my Sage Doyle blog, I created a POETRY page where all my poems are archived and categorized, in order to simplify the process for anyone who might want to go back to older poems.  On my Wall Grimm Blog, there is a page devoted to AMON-RE, with a little history behind the novel, and links to each post.  The CHARACTER pages list the characters by name, and links each post the characters are mentioned in.  Those pages are broken down alphabetically by character name.  There is the JOURNAL ENTRIES INDEX page which lists the titles and links of each journal entry.  There are also pages devoted to EMMA, WALL GRIMM, GRIMM’S EASTWOOD & STEPPING WOLVES, and GARY OLDMAN.  If you don’t understand the Gary Oldman thing, maybe you should check out that page.  I will occasionally add to and update those pages.  Lastly, there’s the DIALOGUE WITH GRIMM page, if you want to talk to “Grimm” (aka me as Grimm) personally.  A couple people have done it and it’s kind of challenging and sometimes awkward to stay in character, but very interesting at least for me.  The Wall Grimm on that page is kind of hovering somewhere in cyberspace and doesn’t know people are reading his journal on a blog.

That’s all for now.  If at any time you have questions or concerns that you don’t want to address here, you are free to email me

Thanks so much for your readership!




…damn self promotion, sorry:


author page:

Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 164: Grimm’s Culminating Identity

February 21, 2014

Wednesday night there was another snow storm, kind of white out at times, but Pete hosted a get together.  A drug and alcohol free get together on my behalf.  He knows I’ve been kind of frustrated that I can’t hang out with many of my friends much because it’s hard not to drink and drug, and also I don’t want to expect them to abstain on my behalf.  So he set it up for me.  It was a small party and it was actually a lot of fun.  I can’t remember ever having fun like that with a large group of people when at least drinking wasn’t involved.  The last time for me was probably a birthday party when I was a kid, but then the adults were probably drinking wine.  So maybe it never has happened for me.

Pete, Sweetheart, Danika, Morgan, Ayla, Jay, Jeff, and John were there.  A few others were invited including Hasty and Emma, but they couldn’t make it because of the storm.

We watched the new episode of “Walking Dead” on demand, which was a good one.  Then we watched this old horror movie with Alice Cooper called “Monster Dog.”  That movie was wicked fucking awesome.  He was a singer and they went to a creepy house to film a music video.  The first video they played was called “Identity Crisises”

“sometimes I’m James bond, sometimes I’m Billy the Kid, sometimes I feel like Sherlock Holmes, sometimes I feel like Jack the Reeeeper….” awesome.

Then we played some games – Quelf, Apples to Apples, Guess Who, and The Awkward Family Photo Game.

In Quelf, my character was The Dude.

At the end of a couple of rounds of Apples to Apples, we all read the cards we won aloud, because we said they were supposed to describe us.  There’s an adjective on each card and three synonyms to emphasize its meaning.  This is what I got:

HARDWORKING – industrious, diligent, busy.  I guess I have been these days.  It’s a lot of work to not drink and drug, and I’ve been trying to get my shit together.  I’m doing well in school and responsible for Sharly.  And I’ve been diligent with my efforts to appeal to Emma.

SNAPPY – stylish, trendy, fast.  I think I’m just fast.

SILLY – goofy, absurd, nonsensical.  I guess I have a silly sense of humor at times.  And I don’t always make sense.

PATHETIC – pitiful, distressing, heart-rending.  No comment.

OUTRAGEOUS – shocking, scandalous, disgraceful.  I have been known to be these things.

WORLDLY – experienced, sophisticated, materialistic.  Experienced, yes.  Sophisticated, I can be.  Materialistic, nope.

NERDY – unhip, uncool, dorky.  ummmm I don’t think so….?  Maybe I’m not so “cool” anymore since I quit drinking.  But being healthy and not doing stupid shit because you’re high and drunk is cooler.

CHARISMATIC – alluring, magnetic, charming.  Alluring – I don’t have a hard time getting laid.  Magnetic – I have magnetic blood which stops watches.  Charming – I’ve been told I’m charming many times.

POWERFUL – strong, forceful, robust.  Yeah, I’d say so.  In diverse settings and situations, and in differing aspects of my personality and behavior.

SHARP – pointed, keen, acute.  I’ll go along with that.  But of course, I seem to be going along with only the positive ones.

FABULOUS – marvelous, wonderful, incredible.  Ok, no comment on this one.  I could either say something that makes me sound vain, or I could get all self deprecating about it.

BELIEVABLE – trustworthy, credible, convincing.  Sure, why not.  Do you Invisible Journal Reading People believe that?  Yeah, maybe I didn’t say anything to convince you.

CRAZY – insane, bizarre, wacky.  Yeah ok, I’ll go with that too.  Especially when I was drinking and drugging.  Now I’m kind of serious and mellow, but kind of insane, with bizarre thoughts and wacky ideas.  Yeah, I’m a little crazy.

SEXY – arousing, appealing, seductive.  Why, thank you.

ZANY – crazy, funny, wacky.  Ok, I guess I can’t deny that I am crazy.

PAINFUL – hurtful, agonizing, unbearable.  I’m sorry.

PLAYFUL – fun, frisky, entertaining.  Yeah, I can be like that.  When drunk it was called recklessness.  Now it’s just frisky.

CHEESY – trashy, tawdry, far-fetched.  This one makes me sad.

HANDSOME – attractive, elegant, fine.  I know I’m not ugly.  I know that much.  So, thanks again.

Ok, to sum up, my name is Wall Grimm and I am a hardworking, snappy, silly, pathetic, outrageous, and worldly nerd.  I am charismatic, powerful, sharp, fabulous, and believable.  I’m a crazy, sexy, zany, painful, playful, cheesy yet handsome dude.

Does that sum me up?  I guess anything could be interpreted the way you want to see it.  And it goes along with one of those quizzes we all took on Facebook from zimbio.  I took tons of them.  And here are the results:

From “The Avengers” I am Thor.  From “Sesame Street” I am Big Bird.  From “Walking Dead” I am Daryl.  To be honest I would have been pissed off if I wasn’t.  From “X-Men” I am Wolverine.  The David Bowie character I am is Halloween Jack.  I don’t know this character, but it said in the description, “you were punk rock before punk rock even existed.”  So that’s awesome.  The Leonardo DiCaprio character I am is Gatsby.  For a Disney villain, I am Scar.  Fitting to be a lion since I am a Leo.  That makes sense.  From “Star Trek” I am Kirk.  From “Toy Story” I am Buzz Lightyear.  From “Seinfeld” I am Elaine, which is weird because one of the questions asked me what turns me on and I answered “Elaine”.  From “The Simpsons” I am Sideshow Bob.  From “The Family Guy” I am Lois, and I think that had to do with all the sex questions.  From “Star Wars” I am Boba Fett.  From “Harry Potter” I am Luna Lovegood.  She’s probably the most interesting character, but I’m not as pretty as she is.  The Tolkien “creature” I am is a wizard.  Nice.  And finally, this is the one which reminds me of my Apples to Apples description:  From “Anchorman”  I am Brick Tamland, who Alice Cooper kind of looks like when he’s the James Bond identity in the video.  That makes sense too.  Alice Cooper looks like Steve Carell as Michael Scott as Michael Scarn, with a little Brick Tamland thrown in.

brick tamland

Now, since I don’t really do much on Facebook besides go invisible and stalk Emma’s page, I have to entertain myself in a fb kind of way in my journal.  And I guess this instigates, appropriates, subjugates, demonstrates, abbreviates, and culminates my own identity crisis.  But that’s Bob Dylan.

There are two theme songs today.  The first is obviously “Identity Crisises” by Alice Cooper, and the next one is “Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds” by William Shatner aka Kirk.


photo of Brick Tamland and quizzes courtesy of

previous Grimm 163: Valentines & Valerian

next Grimm 165: Gender, Psychicisms, & Grimm Morrison the Lizard King

Hasty is based on herself from

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 156-170 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 163: Valentines & Valerian

February 17, 2014

On Valentine’s Day, first I shopped.  Then I went to my parents’ house.  I brought them Dunkin Donuts coffee and heart shaped donuts.  I also brought a box of chocolates, roses, and a card for my mom.  We sat and talked for a little while.  I wrote in the card that she was my first ever Valentine, and that made her cry and speak Italian.

After that, I went to Sharly’s.  She had closed the book store those past couple of days because of the weather.  I brought her chocolates.  We sat and talked for a little while.

Next I went to the pet store because Iona was working, and while there, I got Gary Oldman (II) a Valentine present, which was one of the those plastic sticks with the long feathers on the end because she loves those.  She also loves stuffed animals, so I got her a little pink bear.  Turns out she likes pink, girly stuff.  She’s a very feminine cat.  Anyway, I got Iona roses.  We talked for a little while, but she was working so I couldn’t stay long.  She wanted to see me that night, but I made no plans with anyone because I wanted to be available for Emma in case I could convince her to spend time with me.

After Iona, I went to see Hasty, and I brought her chocolates.  It’s awesome to do shit for Hasty because she gets very excited and happy.

Then I went to see Sweetheart.  I brought her chocolates and a teddy bear.  It made her cry.  She said Valentina would have liked the bear.  She’s beginning to break my heart.  I know she’s hurting if she’s sticking around at Pete’s because she’s a bohemian, and would typically be running off somewhere.

Last person I went to see was Paula, who was working from home because of the weather.  I brought her flowers and chocolates.  She wanted to fuck me and of course I could have gone for the sex, but the day was all about Emma as far as I was concerned, so I only wanted to think about her, focus on her.  I didn’t stay at Paula’s very long.

Then I went home and after giving Daisy chocolates, I gave Gary Oldman (II) her toys.  Gary Oldman (II) was the happiest of them all, since with her it’s all unconditional.  I don’t have to be my best or make good choices and she expects nothing from me.  She just wants my love.  And food.

Anyway, I finished all my Valentine activities by 5pm.  I showered and shaved and dressed nice and went over to Emma’s by 6:00.  I brought her chocolates, roses, and a cd I made with three songs on it by Roy Orbison.  “In Dreams” “Crying” and “Only the Lonely”.  Romantic but I was hoping it wouldn’t be too stalkery, not too intense.  She wasn’t home and Gwen wouldn’t tell me where she was.  I didn’t want to leave the stuff with Gwen because she probably would have trashed it.  I also didn’t want to trust that Gwen would even tell her I stopped by, so I texted Emma that I brought her stuff but she wasn’t home, so I’d give it to her another time.  I wandered around for a while, walking in the cold and going to Dunkin Donuts, just hung around nearby her place in case she’d text me that she was home and I could return.  But by 8:00 I hadn’t heard from her so I went home.

I stripped down to my underwear, played with Gary Oldman (II) and started watching “Cockneys Vs Zombies” on Netflix.  They were all easier to understand than Bogart, but they’re actors so I guess they have to articulate.  It wasn’t that exciting anyway so I fell asleep.  I don’t usually fall asleep like that, but I was kind of tired from being heartbroken I guess.  Well, maybe the handful of valerian I took had something to do with it.  It’s a very effective herb.  Though I was heartbroken and didn’t want to think, I wanted to sleep.  Yeah, it’s painful when you love someone and they want nothing to do with you.  I keep telling myself I should give up.  But I can’t.  I have to keep trying until she either resolves herself to fall in love with me or she gets a restraining order.

I’ve been figuring that the latter would be more likely, but then she actually showed up at Howard’s.  It was about 10:00.  I didn’t even hear her knocking, or her text, but apparently Howard saw her car, heard her knocking and he told her I was home so just to go right in.  So she did, and there I was on my back in my bikini briefs unconscious and holding Gary Oldman (II)’s little pink bear, with Gary Oldman (II) sitting on my head, and yeah I also had that hard dick you get when you sleep.  And bikini briefs don’t contain the old boy once he’s ready to go.

So she walks in and wakes me and I sit up, wipe the drool off my face and cover my dick with my pillow.  Very romantic.  All I had hoped for that evening: saliva, an erection, and Emma on my bed.

I was groggy and a little light headed, but I got up, threw on my jeans and a tee-shirt.  She said she was sorry she wasn’t home when I went there, she was out to dinner with her parents.  She was also sorry she came so late, but they went to a movie after dinner.  I don’t even remember what movie she said they saw because I was kind of out of it.  She asked if I was ok, and I knew she thought I was on drugs or something, but I told her I took valerian and I was sleepy, so she laughed.  That’s the best sound.  Emma’s laughter.  Except when it’s at my expense of course.  But she laughed and it was nice.

Then she told me that she had been wanting to come by once I came home–meaning from the institution–in order to offer her condolences for Valentina.  She said I was a good father and she admired me that I took on the responsibility.  I showed her the necklace and tears welled up in her eyes.  I almost cried myself so I went to the bathroom and washed my face.  When I came back, she said, “you have something for me?”  I gave her the chocolates and roses and the cd.  She wanted to play the cd right away but I was kind of embarrassed and regretted making it, though I put it on anyway.  We listened to “Crying” and “Only the Lonely” quietly.  I felt sick to my stomach and I felt like I was dying.  When, “In Dreams” started, I said it was the last song.  She stood and said, “Dance with me.”  So I stood and we started to dance.  My whole body just swelled with so much emotion it was unbearable.  I was holding her closely and she couldn’t see my face.  It became all about not crying and not dropping to my knees and begging her to give me a chance.  It was also about not being so physically close that she could feel that I was hard again.  She moved and looked up at me.  I wanted to kiss her so badly.  When the song ended, she kissed me on the cheek, touched my face and said, “you are the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”

I didn’t want to tell her how much I love her, or try to kiss her or do anything that would ruin this.  Then I’d probably push her away again.  So I just said, “thank you.”  We decided to watch MST3K like we used to do.  We sat on the bed and were watching it, but I didn’t last long, I fell asleep because of the freakin’ valerian.  When I awoke at 3:00am, she was gone, but she left a note.  It said, “Thank you for a beautiful Valentine’s Day.  Love, Emma.”  And she left me a chocolate truffle from the box I gave her because she knows that’s my favorite.

And in the end, she actually came to me, and I did nothing to upset her, and she called me sweet, and she said “Love, Emma.”  The only way it could have been better is if I proposed marriage and she accepted.  But I think pacing it, and not pushing myself on her might work after all.  Maybe it’s not impossible.  Maybe.


previous Grimm 162: Spam, Terminator Penis, “Walking Dead”, & Valentine’s Day

next Grimm 164: Grimm’s Culminating Identity

Hasty is based on herself from

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 156-170 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 162: Spam, Terminator Penis, “Walking Dead”, & Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day, 2014

It’s really early in the morning on Valentine’s Day.  Classes were cancelled yesterday and today because of the storm.  It’s a nice break.  Anyway, there are three things I want to talk about today.  My name is Wall Grimm and I want to talk about Spam, “Walking Dead”, and Valentine’s Day.


SPAM – For some reason my email refuses to delete my spam, regardless how many times I set it to do so.  However, it does send all the shit to the spam folder.  At first I was annoyed that it didn’t delete it, but now I find it kind of entertaining.  Now and then, I look through and find some that make me laugh.  I did that this morning, and I recognized a kind of theme.

Based on all the spam I get, people are just trying to give me money, enlarge my penis, make it strong and thick, keep me hard for hours, and fuck me.  They also want to introduce me to single black women and feed me Burger King.  The only thing that doesn’t tempt me is the Burger King.  I’m also not married so…sorry Ashley Madison, it wouldn’t really be an affair now, would it?  Oh yeah, and I don’t need a stronger, thicker, larger penis and it stays hard for plenty of time.  Ok, so maybe I just want the money and the black women.

This is literally the list of spam I have this morning from the past few days:


“A STRONGER, THICKER, HARDER PENIS – FREE TRIAL, 100% GUARANTEED” (do any black women come with that trial)?

from Ashley Madison “Life is short.  Have an affair.” (I got this one from Ashley Madison 21 times)


from Ms. Jessica Kone “Attn. Urgent/Confidential*” (she wants to give me money)

from Mrs. Agafia Anatolius “MY HEART CHOOSE TO BLESS YOU.” (with money she wants to transfer into my account.  I got this one twice)

“View Photos of Black Singles in Your Area”, (if there was a single black woman in my area, I think I’d know about it, but that’s a perverted pun, so ignore I said that.  Anyway, I got this one 18 more times)

“Preapproval Notice”

“RE: $9,950.61 Deposit”

“A $25 Victoria’s Secret car for YOU!” (is this so I can shop for the black women or Ashley Madison?)

“Claim a $25 BurgerKing Card”

“You have received a $25 BK notification!”

“NOTICE: $10,000 Approvals Within 7 Minutes”

then finally from Ashley Madison “Your Wife Will Never Find Out…”

And every single one of those emails came with an attachment.  It would almost be cool just to open them all and see how fucked up my computer would be as a result.

So yeah, money, Terminator Penis, black women, sex, and Burger King.

That reminds me that I forgot to mention women of all ethnicities in my list the other day about how I love women.  I’m very attracted to black women.  Indian women do it for me too.  But all ethnicities of women are beautiful when they smile and have the potential for that Pheromone Phenomenon.  In fact, Emma is 1/4 black.  Her dad is 1/2 black from Zimbabwe, and 1/2 Italian, and her mother is Columbian.  Now that I’m talking about Emma, I could transition onto my next topic of Valentine’s Day, but I’ll talk about “Walking Dead” since I want to mention Michonne and she’s a black woman, so it transitions smoothly anyway.

“WALKING DEAD” – I watched “Walking Dead” and “Talking Dead” yesterday On Demand at Pete’s.  Good episode but I have to say that Carl’s an ass.  Ok I know he’s going through the teenage thing, I get it.  But I have to say, in a zombie apocalypse, if my dad was likely bleeding to death internally, I wouldn’t be such a douchebag to him.  And if my dad slipped into a coma, I wouldn’t say mean things for him to hear in his subconscious.  I know there’s this hormonal, teenage thing, and the psychological ramifications of a zombie apocalypse that would be the basis to thoroughly analyze Carl’s attitude and it would make a shitload of sense.  However, it’s annoying.  I find there’s often too much whining going on in that show.  I just want to tell everyone to fuck the soap opera bullshit and move on.  Forgive and forget and survive, get over it.  There’s no time for all this drama.  But I guess, they’re just human, so again, it can all be explained away.  Carl’s been kicking some serious ass lately, and he’s been awesome, so I’ll forgive him and move on.  See, I’m the bigger man, despite what my spam emails suggest about me.

Ok, onto Michonne and “Talking Dead”.  That actress, Danai Gurira is a fucking goddess.  I just had to say that.  And she’s smart too.  And every positive and empathetic thing she said about the character Carl, I agree with, because she articulated it so concisely and she looked so good while she was saying it.  That’s not derogatory, it was a joke.  Seriously, she made a lot of sense and it opened up my perspective.  It just happened to be simultaneous with my enjoyment of looking at her.

Three things that made me laugh on “Talking Dead”.  1. Chris Hardwick – this guy is freakin’ hilarious.  2.  When Chris Hardwick said about Carl, “Dad you suck.  Pudding is awesome.”  3.  They showed a preview for the film “Snakes on a Plane” and in the preview they showed Samuel L. Jackson saying a dubbed line.  I’ve never seen that movie, so I’m just assuming the line was dubbed, but I think he said in the film, “mother fucking snakes” and I think they dubbed that, but he said in the preview “monkified snakes”.  buwaahahahahahahaa duh fuh? monkified, what, huh?  What the hell is a monkified snake?  Wow.


That word just had to stand alone for a pause of reflection.

I’ll end this topic with #pudding

VALENTINE’S DAY – This one will be quick since it’s barely even happened yet.  But I’m going to buy things for these people:  Emma, my mom, Sharly, Iona, Sweetheart, Paula, and Hasty.  I wish Valentina had a grave so I could put flowers there for her.  I thought of getting Ayla something, but it would only be because she gives good blow jobs.  I’m no more friends with her than Danika or Morgan.  Valentine’s Day is not about blow jobs.  Blow jobs just can often be a fringe benefit of Valentine’s Day.  I’m giving something to Hasty because she’s married and it wouldn’t give her the wrong idea.  Plus she’s the kind of person you want to give stuff to.  The rest on my list are obvious.  But then there’s Emma.  I’m not going to do anything like I attempted last year, but I want to do something, I just have to figure out what.  It will be nice, but not over the top.  I have something over the top planned for her after she graduates.

Anyway, the theme song for this journal entry is “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol, dedicated to Emma.  Happy Valentine’s Day my beautiful Emma, my one true love.


previous Grimm 161: Buzzkill Grimm Stuck in WTF

next Grimm 163: Valentines & Valerian

Hasty is based on herself from

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 156-170 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 161: Buzzkill Grimm Stuck in WTF

February 11, 2014

I showed up at Cassidy’s Friday night as planned.  She wanted me to wear my kilt so I had to go back to Pete’s to get it since I left some stuff there.  I saw Sweetheart and she was really glad to see me.  I figured she would have left.  I don’t know why she’s stayed.  She’s why I left.  Not because of anything to do with her, but because I look at her and I think of Valentina.  Then another part of my soul crumbles away and I am rendered incapable of movement.  That applies to both physical and cognitive movement.  I just become thoroughly debilitated and deeply depressed.  So when I first saw her, my first reaction was a need to break down and cry.  It would have been the kind of crying that no consolation could soothe.  Or I would have held the tears in and just fragmented inside, making me a zombie again.  But I held on and we talked.  I could tell she suffered in a similar way.  That of course triggered my compassion.  I didn’t raise the subject of Valentina though, because then she’d fall apart.  So we talked about little things, trivial stuff.  We never really talked much before.

I went back to Howard’s and got ready to go to Cassidy’s and I finally put the necklace on with Valentina’s ashes.  It was difficult but I felt ready I guess.  The vial rests against my chest over my heart.  I felt like she was with me but I wanted to hold her, rock her, sing to her, talk to her.  I wish I could even just hear her cry again, and the breath in her lungs would come out in a thrash so that I could comfort her and know she lives.  Obviously that will never happen again, but with the necklace, I feel like a part of my own being has returned to me, almost like I could never have been complete without it.

Anyway, I went to Cassidy’s and when she let me in there were a total of 10 girls there.  It was a sorority. wtf.  I thought we had a kind of date so I had no idea what was going on.  It turned out that they were there to meet me, get my autograph and get photographed with me. wtf.  All because of that stupid video.  I’m not famous, I’m no celebrity, I was caught on video with my kilt blowing up and slamming ice cream onto my balls in my attempts to keep it down.  And as I’ve said, these little things about the internet are why I don’t like it, because I didn’t post that, it’s like I had no say in the matter, but whatever, I just resolved myself to it.  Now I had a sorority of girls asking me to lift up my kilt.  I felt like the entertainment at a bachelorette party or something.  A couple years ago, I’d probably have been high on something and I would have drunk with them, and signed autographs even though that’s stupid, and got my picture taken with them, and maybe even lifted up my kilt, and then try to have sex with all of them.  But not now in my life.  Who is this new Grimm guy that I’ve become?  This serious, brooding, easily annoyed mature guy who can’t joke around anymore.  It’s like my brain is stuck in what the fuck mode all the time.

I guess I was just pissed off because I felt set up.  She didn’t give me an honest idea about what to expect when I went there.  She could have told me her friends would be there and wanted to meet me, but she didn’t.  I mean, yeah ok it was kinda cool to get that kind of attention, and it’s a boost of the ego to be treated like a celebrity I guess.  But still, she could have told me.  I went in there and instantly they started with their smartphones snapping pictures of me and jumping next to me to be in the pictures.  I didn’t even have time to register what was happening.  There’s a better way they could have approached this to get what they wanted.  And here’s how:

My name is Wall Grimm, and this is how to make a sucker out of me.


1. Tell me what you want before you impose it on me so I don’t feel set up.

2.  Flatter me enough to make me horny.  Then my brain has less control and I’m more easily suckered into things.

3.  ummmm maybe it’s as simple as just 1. and 2.

4.  If 3. isn’t the case, then use your feminine wiles to charm me.  That is kind of like flattering me, but flattering me is mostly about me, whereas charming me involves the girl’s appeal.  And oh yeah, that reminds me, this list is just for women, because:

5.  An indication that I might get laid in the deal could help.

6.  If I don’t get laid in the deal, don’t let me think that there’s not a possibility for that, lead me on if you have to.

Now this list is just for things I wouldn’t normally do or even come close to resolving myself to do.  Otherwise, I tend to be a natural sucker when it comes to women.  As far as men are concerned, they can’t get me to do something I don’t want to do.

I will do favors for people, help people out, but I don’t have to be conned to be a decent friend.  That’s different.  But this situation…

I got rushed by the girls and–oh yeah, here’s the thing.  The Grimm I was two years ago was not the Grimm with a brain injury from the Gangsta, so people have to keep in mind that when I’m taken by surprise, I get kind of disoriented at first as it takes extra time to process the situation.  So yeah, I get rushed, photographed, asked for autographs, and got confused.  I thought they had to believe I was someone else.  Plus, I thought I was going to be alone with Cassidy.  So before I knew it, everyone had gotten a photo with me or videoed me and already posted it somewhere–fb, tumblr, instagram,, etc.  Then the papers and pens came out for autographs.  I was like no way at first because it just felt stupid since I’m not famous.  Signing would have indicated a level of vanity that even I’m not capable of.  But they pestered me so I said whatever and did it arbitrarily while I tried to talk to Cassidy over their voices.  She looked horrified, and I knew she didn’t expect it to be like this, so I immediately forgave her.

But then they were asking me to lift up my kilt so they can pose with me that way. wtf.  Again, the other Grimm guy might not have cared, but I’m trying to be the kind of man Emma wants, so I don’t want my junk plastered virally.  There’s a pun in there, just look for it Invisible Journal Reading People.  Do I have to spell everything out for you?

So I was like nooo, but they were kind of following me around the room trying to lift up my kilt as I had one hand holding down the front and the other hand holding it down in back.  Then they said come on, have a beer, relax.  Then I told Cassidy if she wants to hang out alone sometime to let me know, and I left.

And now I’m not the wild and fun Grimm, I’m the buzz kill Grimm with a stick up his ass.  There’s no pun in there, take my word for it.  But whatever.  In retrospect it was flattering and ego boosting, but it just happened too fast.  I couldn’t process it until after I left.  I was only there about 15 minutes and that’s no exaggeration.  And I’m pretty sure some of them got up-kilt shots but whatever.  I’m not modest, I don’t give a shit really.  Buzzkill Grimm is the new guy in town and I’m not sure if I like him.  Gunslinger Grimm needs to run him out.  It’s time for a showdown.

No theme song today, just a theme scene from “A Fistful of Dollars” with Clint Eastwood, because my name is Wall Grimm and “my mule don’t like people laughing.”


previous Grimm 160: Living With Howard, Assholes, Technology, Girls, & Pheromone Phenomenon

next Grimm 162: Spam, Terminator Penis, “Walking Dead”, & Valentine’s Day

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 156-170 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Awards for Wall Grimm!

It took me some time to get around to following through, but that is no refection whatsoever on my appreciation for these awards.  As usual, the toughest part for me when it comes to receiving an award is awarding other bloggers.  I really hate to leave anyone out.  This time, I really tried to award people I’ve never awarded before, and maybe I was successful with that.  Regardless, I’m grateful to all my readers and I value the experience of being able to visit so many amazing blogs every day.  I’m honored to be a part of this community.  Thank you!  (I will be notifying my awardees sometime today, I apologize it won’t be immediate).




The rules of this award are:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog.

2. Display the award on your post.

3. List the award rules so your nominees will know what to do.

4. State 7 things about yourself.

5. Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award.

6. Contact your nominees to let them know you have nominated them. Provide a link to your post.

7. Proudly display the award logo (or buttons) on your blog, whether on your side bar, ABOUT page, or a special page for awards.

Ok so 7 things about me are:

1.  My favorite current television shows are “American Horror Story” “The Walking Dead” and “Boardwalk Empire”.  But I don’t have cable television.

2.  My favorite hostel that I’ve stayed in was in Sante Fe, New Mexico.

3.  I used to work for a gym.  The gym had a gimmick that people could “enter to win” a free week at the gym.  Every single person who entered to win was selected for the free week.  My job was to call them all and notify them that they won.  It was a second part-time job.  My full time job then was Real Estate Agent.  Yeah, I know.  That lasted a year.  I got several listings but sold nothing and I hated every minute of it.  I’ve held many other jobs as well…

4.  I grew up helping my parents sell food and refreshments at baseball games.  I started working officially when I was fourteen as a veterinarian technician through on the job training.  I’ve worked from then on throughout my life as: a religious education director; a crisis counselor for emergency services; a counselor at a shelter for domestic violence; a guidance counselor; an early education director; a case manager for persons who need assistance in order to learn to live independently; a case manager for domestic violence shelter residents; a housing advocate; a researcher for early childhood learning methods and reading techniques; a clerk in a pharmacy, two different book stores, and a video store; a page and a supervisor in two different libraries; an assistant to the theatrical director of a city wide arts festival; a theatre director; a stage manager.  I’ve acted in student films and community/college theatre but not for money.  I sold food and refreshments again, this time at high school basketball games.  I made potions and amulets which were sold in a Wiccan store in Salem, MA.  I was a hotel front desk clerk; I created one issue and wrote all the articles for a magazine pertaining to persons with disabilities; I worked at a music store; I cleaned townhouses; and I worked as a college entrance essay reader/grader; and as a high school English teacher.  I ran a therapeutic journaling and poetry group.  I was certified as a yoga instructor but never worked as one, and I’m sure there’s more that I’m forgetting…

5.  In first grade I punched a kid in the face and knocked out his teeth because he took my mittens.

6.  I drink Dewar’s every St. Patrick’s Day.

7.  When I was 13, a couple friends and I started a band.  We named the band and sat around writing a bunch of lyrics, but none of us could sing, play an instrument, or write music.  The band never solidified.

My Nominees are:




It’s an award created and shared by bloggers who nominate other bloggers who have 200 readers or fewer.  Now that’s a tricky one, since most blogs at least have over 200 followers, so I’m going to go by the “readers” aka “likes” which roughly suggest how many of those followers are actually reading.

These are the rules of the award:

1) Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to his or her blog.

2) Answer the 10 questions by the nominee before you.

3) Nominate 10 of your favorite blogs with fewer than 200 readers, and notify them of their nomination.

4) Come up with 10 questions for your nominees to answer.

The Questions I was asked:

What is your sign?  Libra

Poetry or prose?  I think people like my poetry the most, but I’ve always considered myself a novelist.

Dogs or cats or both?  I have a cat.

Seaside vacation or mountainside vacation?  I usually combine the two, which is easy in New England.  I go camping on or near the beach, and there’s never a mountain too far away.

Eat-in or takeout?  I like my food delivered to me.

Popcorn or candy at movies?  I like the big pretzels or pretzel bites, sometimes Twizzlers.

Comedies or dramas?  Both.

Cake or ice cream?  Definitely chocolate cake.

Spring or fall?  Tough one, living in New England.  Spring is such a relief after Winter, it’s exhilarating.  But Autumn is invigorating and the foliage is stunning.  But I guess I’d say Autumn since my birthday’s in October, and there’s better hiking then too, since the trails aren’t mush from the melted snow and there are also less insects.

Online shopping or in store shopping?  I hate shopping.  But I’d say in store, because I just run in and get what I need and get out as soon as possible.

The ten questions for my awardees are:

1. Who has had the greatest influence in your life?

2. When you were a child, what did you dream of becoming?

3.  Your favorite book?

4.  Favorite film?

5.  Would you prefer camping or a luxury hotel?

6.  If you won $100,000,000 what would you do with the money?

7.  If you had to create a diagnosis for your personality/way you think, what would it be called and what would be the symptoms?

8.  Fill in this sentence:  “I was ____ years old when I realized______”

9.  If you could change any choice you’ve made in the past, what would it be?

10.  Which is your favorite muppet?

My awardees are:


Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | Tags: , , , , | 17 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 160: Living With Howard, Assholes, Technology, Girls, & Pheromone Phenomenon

February 7, 2014

Today I want to talk about 4 things:

1.  Living with Howard

2.  Assholes

3.  Technology

4.  Girls

1.  Living with Howard:  I like living with Howard.  A lot.  But there’s a problem arising for me.  I can’t come and go at night as I please because then he gets worried, he wants me to call and let him know where I am and when I’m going to be home.  Also, it’s kind of stifling my sex life.  I feel weird about bringing girls home to this basement room/apartment in someone else’s house.  I don’t think Howard would appreciate that.  Also, and this has nothing to do with Howard, but since I’m not drinking or drugging anymore, I feel like I have no life apart from school, work, and Blues Monday.  I don’t even hang out with half my friends anymore because I just don’t feel right about wanting them to not even have a beer or smoke a bone leisurely.  It’s hard for me to be around the shit, especially with my friends.  I feel like I could just go to a bar like a normal person and have a beer and hang out, but I can’t.  So I guess I’m just getting bored on the verge of stir crazy.  I like being here because it’s peaceful, it’s solitude, it’s respite that I need and healthy seclusion.  I also help Howard with shit like shoveling and running errands and just doing stuff around the house, which also helps Daisy.  But I’m a gypsy, I need to wander, to move to have some kind of energy action.  I want to hang out with my friends but I don’t know if I can.

2.  Assholes:  I’m so sick of people being assholes.  Now this is just a generic statement.  There are so many fucking assholes in the world sometimes I think they’re planted there just to piss me off.  There’s a lot of good people too, but this subject is about the assholes.  The worse thing about these people is, not that they’re assholes, but it’s the person they provoke me to become.  It’s like a test of my character to stay a nice guy when I encounter them.  It’s mature and civilized to smile and walk away and let them feel like the assholes they really are.  But they trigger me to be an asshole right back at them.  In the bars, that meant punching them in the face.  Now that I’m not drinking, it comes out with my saying shit like, “you know what? fuck you,” or simply, “you’re an asshole.”  The worse part is when I witness retribution and there’s this sinister side to me that’s gratified.  Because I love to see an asshole doing something stupid just so I can think inside my head how stupid they are and know that I’m not stupid because I’d never do the stupid things they do.  I love that shit.  Just rewards.  It’s like their own stupidity carries out my natural need for Sicilian vendetta.  But that’s not necessarily a good part of me.  So I hate assholes for causing me to be an asshole too.

3.  Technology:  Because I’ve traveled and met all kinds of people, and for the most part I avoid technology apart from texting and using my phone like–a phone, go figure, I feel privileged to really see people.  There’s a certain sociodemographic–I think I made this word up, but I like it–that doesn’t use much technology.  They’re sparse and dispersed.  But when you find them, you can have conversations.  ‘What’s a conversation?’ you might ask, oh wise yet innocent Invisible Journal Reading People.  Well, it’s when there’s audible dialogue between two or more human beings as they use words to describe subject matter which interests or upsets them.  Simply put, conversation is the ultimate wireless connection.  And it’s free.  Technology has taken away people’s ability to listen.  You try to talk to someone and they’re answering their phone or texting or researching a reference you make.  They experience something cool and immediately it’s online and accessible to the entire world for all posterity.  I know there is an amazing phenomenon through online connection and it can be a powerful instrument for making positive things happening and all that.  I see the value in it and I appreciate it.  But that’s the internet, for people far away and out of reach, not people you’re sitting and having lunch with who are actually texting with someone who isn’t even there.   Um, yeah thanks.  Seriously, people don’t know how to communicate, really listen, or interact on a personal level.  We’re all too distracted and self absorbed.  I’m like that too sometimes, but it’s not because of technology when it comes to me.  When you listen to people, all people, you hear them, and you build your knowledge of the essence of humanity, in all meanings of the word, particularly as both a condition and a tribe.

4:  Girls:  Ok all that bitching pisses me off.  I hate to be negative.  So I’m going to talk about girls.  Let me just say that I love girls.  I like short girls, tall girls, and girls of average height.  I like thin, average, and girls who are overweight.  I like blondes, brunettes, redheads.  I like girls my age up, even much older.  I like the maturity of older women, and the way the girls my age flirt.  When a girl, or maybe I should just say women from this point on, when a woman is attracted to me, I love that.  Because I sense it, so it hits me like a magnet and there’s this powerful pheromone phenomenon.  I know I used the word phenomenon earlier, but I had to use it here too because that just sounds too fucking awesome: Pheromone Phenomenon.  I love that.  Anyway, this pheromone phenomenon is like this magnetic energy creating mutual horniness.  And you walk away from it like you just had a mental orgasm.  I just love all women.  They’re all freakin’ beautiful when they smile.  I love to see a woman smile.  Now I’ll close with a story about a smiling young woman:

Thursday after statistics gets out at 9:15, I have the whole day until 2:00 before my next class.  So sometimes I just kind of hang around the campus, do whatever.  Thursday, I was outside the building smoking a cigarette and reading one of my text books when a smiling young woman approached me.  Her name is Cassidy.  First she asked about an assignment.  Next she asked, and this dumfounded me, “are you the kilted cowboy gunslinger?”  And of course, if she’d seen that video, she’d recognize me because of my Eastwood and Stepping Wolves, I guess, I hope.  I was like, “you saw that?”  She responded, “everyone’s seen that, and we all think it’s you.”  “ummm, yeah, that’s me.”  Then she got all shy and giggly and blushing and of course that turned me on.  Then she asked if I wanted to go get a coffee, so I said yeah, and we talked.  Well she talked mostly.  She talked a lot, said she was nervous like I was a celebrity.  I said, “I should be the one who’s nervous since you’ve seen…” I was thinking ‘my special purpose’ but I didn’t know if she’d get the Steve Martin reference, so I said, “…my…ummm….” and gestured.  She said, “you shouldn’t feel nervous about that, you should feel proud.”  Then she laughed and covered her red face and though it kind of embarrassed me, it’s nice to be flattered like that.  So anyway, now tonight I’m going to her place to hang out.  I told her I don’t drink, so we’ll see what happens.

I guess that’s it for now.  My theme song for this journal entry is “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes because I just heard that song on the radio and I love that fucking song.


previous Grimm 159: Wall Grimm’s List of Identities

next Grimm 161: Buzzkill Grimm Stuck in WTF

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 156-170 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 159: Wall Grimm’s List of Identities

February 3, 2014

Well the groundhog saw his shadow and the Seahawks won the Superbowl.  That was my weekend excitement.  I didn’t watch the Superbowl because I didn’t want to drink.  It feels impossible to watch without having some beer at least.  Even if I watched with Howard, I’d still be thinking of beer the whole time.  Besides, since the Patriots were out of it, it wasn’t worth the struggle.  Maybe I’d have made an effort if the Patriots were in.  Instead I just isolated myself downstairs in the small apartment in Howard’s house.

But that was ok because I worked a lot more on Amon-Re and I did homework.  It also got me thinking about the many identities and names I have depending on the person or people I’m with.  Now I’ve decided to document that.

My name is Wall Grimm and this is the list of names and perceptions of me by other people:


Bogart calls me Constable

Bogart’s mom believes I’m a threat

Iona calls me Cowboy

The Convoy thinks of me as a harpist

Howard considers me as a blues punk pain in the ass who needs a lot of advice

I am Siciliani Romani and think of myself as a gypsy pain in the ass who doesn’t need as much advice as Howard believes I do

My parents think of me as Valente, but will also call me Grimm

My sister calls me Valente

My mother used to call me Valente Spirto or Valspirto when I was a kid, and sometimes she still does

Paula thinks of me as sex according to Paula’s sister who said I was her boy toy or kept boy

Sharly thinks of me as a badboy, but she thinks well enough of me to keep me employed

Sweetheart thought of me as constructive/destructive fire, then as shelter, then as the father of her baby

I don’t know what Valentina thought of me but I know she liked me

Dave thinks of me as a challenging consumer with evil spirits ready for my beckon call to boil his innards if he should piss me off

Hasty thinks I’m a nice guy and fun even when I’m not on drugs

Pete has a sexual attraction to me that he ignores since I’m not gay and he’s my best friend so I guess he just thinks of me as his best friend

Gary Oldman II thinks of me as her pet

Gary Oldman doesn’t even know me but if he did maybe he’d think I was obsessed, which I’m not, I just tend to apply symbolic qualities and attributes to things and sometimes people

Ayla thinks of me as a chew toy, figuratively of course, and in a good way

On a similar note, Sadie and the groping guy only thought of my dick

Randy thinks I am a dick and I don’t think too highly of him either.  I’d say he’s an asshole, but after just saying he thinks I’m a dick, then that metaphor would have homoconnotative tendencies which don’t apply but I’ll avoid saying that anyway even though I just did

My dick thinks I am a god when I control it, and the opposite is also the case when the roles are reversed

That woman at AA thinks of me as the guy in the kilt and from that video some people I’ve never met know me as the kilted cowboy gunslinger

The Gangsta thought of me as the annoying fuck who deserved to have a chair smashed over his head

John, Jeff, and Jay don’t know me well anymore since I don’t see them much now that I’m in recovery, but they thought of me as the unpredictable guy, sometimes dangerous I guess, usually reckless, even when I was considered to be the go-to reliable guy

Gwen thinks I’m a loser

Morgan thinks of me as a gypsy pagan great guy to have around for Beltane even without the drugs

Danika just likes everyone for the most part and thinks everyone is cool even though she’s no hippie

Some girls in my general psych class–well this requires a little backstory.  I was in class on Friday and sitting in between all these girls, I had a girl on every side and corner, basically 8 girls.  Then one of them farted and it smelled really bad.  It had to be one of them because it was so pungent, you could feel it in the air and you didn’t want to open your mouth, it couldn’t have been anyone further away from me.  Now of course, 7 of those 8 girls, the 7 who didn’t fart, had to assume it was me.  The guy always gets blamed for farting, it’s inevitable.  And yeah, I fart, and I fart in public, who doesn’t?  But I wouldn’t fart when surrounded by 8 girls, especially that really bad shit something died inside of me kind of smell.  Which raises another point.  That was a carnivore’s fart.  I don’t eat meat and vegetarian farts don’t smell like putrefying carcass.  Anyway, when I fart in public, I also know what kind of fart is going to come out of my ass.  I know if it will be loud, quiet, smelly, or odorless, loud and smelly, loud and odorless, quiet and smelly, quiet and odorless, how loud, how long, how much the acoustics of my briefs will enhance reverberation or contain a slight stank.  And depending on where I am and who’s around me, I tend to publicly release only odorless silent ones.  I know what kind it’s going to be because I have a sixth sense about my farts.  A sixth scent, I guess.  Anyway, so now 7 of the 8 girls in my general psych class think of me as the guy who farts fecal particles and molecules of decay in class.

The other students think of me as quiet and antisocial I guess, though I talk to some, and still get invited to parties.  The freshman girls think of me as “the hot older guy” since they’re 18 and I’m 24.  I’m the older guy.  And that was a direct quote, I didn’t say that about myself.  This is literally what I was told.

And Emma, well she probably just thinks of me as a lost cause.

And there’s more people, but I’ll end here.  So allow me to summarize:

My name is Wall Grimm and I am

a cowboy constable, threatening harpist blues punk pain in the ass who doesn’t need as much advice as some people think.  I’m a pain in the ass gypsy known as Valente Spirto, Valspirto, Valente, and sex.  I’m a boy toy, kept boy, badboy, a constructive and destructive force of fire.  I’m shelter and a patriarch.  I am a challenging consumer with evil spirits ready for my beckon call.  I’m a nice guy, best friend, a pet, and a potentially obsessed symbolism attributor.  I’m a chew toy, a dick, a god, and an annoying fuck who deserves chairs smashed over his head.  I’m the guy in the kilt, the kilted cowboy gunslinger, an unpredictable, sometimes dangerous guy, usually reckless, but quiet and antisocial.  I’m the go-to reliable guy, a loser, a gypsy pagan great guy to have around for Beltane.  And though I’m cool, I’m the guy who farts noxious fumes in class.  I’m the hot older guy, a lost cause, and I’m sometimes liked.  I am Grimm.  I am Wall Grimm.

All summed up like that, excluding some people, their opinions, some more positive perspectives, or my own thoughts of myself….well, I guess that might just make me a good writer in the end.  Either that or I’ll die alone.  Maybe both.

My theme song today is “Creep” by Radiohead, and dedicated to Emma.


previous Grimm 158: Instincts, Sex, An Oldmanism, & Grimm’s First Ever Steve Martinism

next Grimm 160: Living With Howard, Assholes, Technology, Girls, & Pheromone Phenomenon

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 156-170 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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