“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 150: Stupiditum Disorder Impulsive Type & Sunshine in a Bag

January 3, 2014

I’m going to leave the Institution on Monday.  It will be roughly a month since I’ve been here, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to face the world.  However, I had enrolled in school and Pete told me that classes start on 14th, but I haven’t even registered for my classes yet.  Going to school could be a good thing for me, keep me busy.  I can’t change my hours at work until I know what my schedule is.  Fortunately, I already almost have 2 years of college under my belt.  I’ve gotten all the requirements out of the way for the most part.  Funny thing though, I’m majoring in psychology, and I’ve been in a psych ward more than once.  I think that will help me do well at the job though, down the road.  It will allow me to incorporate humanity into my practice.  I also won’t fall for all the bullshit some clients tell they’re therapists.  I heard that you can’t be a good psychologist or someone in that field unless you’ve been on the other side.  They usually recommend counseling as a simple way of getting the feel for what a patient experiences.  Well I’ve been pretty far on the other side, so maybe I’ll be a fantastic fucking counselor or whatever I want to be.

When I get out, I’ll have about a week to get organized, register, buy the books, and alter my work schedule, then classes start.  I want to be sure I still have my Blues Mondays, and I want to be able to come back on Saturdays and visit Bogart.  After getting out, I’ll be dealing with those technicalities, and then I’ll commence school, so I’ll be too busy to have to face anyone.  I don’t want compassionate looks or scrutinizing glances.  I don’t want a consoling hand on my shoulder or arm or back.  I don’t want people to look at each other when I walk out of the room.  I mean, it’s nice that people care, but that stuff just embarrasses me and makes me feel pathetic.  Though, I guess if they didn’t do that shit, then I’d wonder if anyone cared at all and just feel bad for myself.  So I’m thinking now that people obviously caring is better, even if it makes me feel like a loser that they have to experience that kind of sympathy for me.

I haven’t been reading too much either, which is disappointing, but the fact that I’m working on a novel makes up for that.  And I’ll be doing plenty of reading in school.  What’s it going to take me, a year to complete Steppenwolf?  That is pathetic.  I blame the drugs and the Gangsta.  My therapist here told me I could register with the department at the college that helps people with disabilities.  I can take Gary Oldman (II) for classes, I can ask for more time on assignments I think…I’m not sure what I’d need, if anything, but she said that if I find I’m having trouble, we can figure out what accommodations will work best.  My disabilities would be: mild brain damage from the Gangsta that affects processing, substance abuse is a disorder which counts as a disability, depression because of Valentina, and PTSD, which still plagues me, oh and stupidity.

I think stupidity should be a disorder.  And I’m not talking IQ or being cognitively impaired, I’m talking about being just plain stupid, as in doing stupid shit, saying stupid shit, and being stupid to the point that you fuck up in life on a daily basis.  I would call the disorder, Stupiditum Disorder.  The more extreme cases would involve people who do the stupid shit without knowing that it’s stupid, the clueless people.  The first disorder is people like me who do it, but know it’s stupid, or recognize immediately when they’ve put their feet in their mouths, or at least learn from their mistakes.  The extreme group doesn’t recognize their own stupidity and doesn’t learn, and often they blame others and circumstance when fuck ups happen.  This group would be diagnosed with Stupiditum Oblivium Disorder or a milder version is Cluelessness Syndrome.  My case is more the Stupiditum Disorder, but when there’s the impulsive element, when otherwise you would think first and not say or do the stupid shit, but you lack or need to strengthen the impulse control, then it’s referred to as Stupiditum Disorder Impulsive Type.  That’s me.  It used to be reckless, but since the Gangsta, I have executive functioning problems and impulse control.  The mother fucker gave me ADHD.  Nah, I don’t really have that, but those are pretty much the symptoms.  Any behavior that prevents a kid from sitting still in the classroom, shutting up, and being a drone, is a symptom of ADHD.  If you’re not a programmable robot, you get diagnosed.  And you get diagnosed by teachers who have no degree that qualifies them to diagnose the common cold let alone a disorder listed in the DSM-IV.

My name is Wall Grimm and I went off on a tangent and engaged in a rant.  That means I have Tangentis Syndrome with Ranting Features.  Or ADHD (a damned hard dick) or KMFAS (kiss my fucking ass syndrome).  Yeah, majoring in psychology….good times will be had by all.

The theme song for this journal entry is Gorillaz “Clint Eastwood” because when I walk out of here, I’m walking out with this attitude while I’m wearing my Stepping Wolves and my Eastwood.  That’s how it’s gonna be.
“I aint happy, I’m feelin glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I’m useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I’m useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It’s coming on
It’s coming on
It’s coming on
It’s coming on”

–Gorillaz “Clint Eastwood”

*******

previous Grimm 149:  De-Christmasifying, Missing Stuff, Reflections, & Grimm and Bogart Basket Cases http://wp.me/p41c99-pR

next Grimm 151: Preparing to Leave & Seasons in the Sun http://wp.me/p41c99-qT

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 141 - 155 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

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27 thoughts on ““The Journal of Wall Grimm” 150: Stupiditum Disorder Impulsive Type & Sunshine in a Bag

  1. Reblogged this on SageDoyle.

  2. Desiree G

    I will never be able to look at “ADHD” the same way. Thanks for that! ;)

  3. thisoldtoad2014

    Reblogged this on thisoldtoad.

    • thisoldtoad2014

      Now i too have been plagued by stupidly often finding myself paying the price, will i ever learn? I am one alway to keep putting my hand back into the flame…

      Do you recognize the statement?

      A recovery slogan…

      cheers toad (chris jensen)

  4. You pick the best songs, don’t you!

    • Thanks! I love music, though I’m not musically inclined myself, apart from singing on Rock Band or Guitar Hero lol. But music is amazing to me, I love finding the right songs to evoke a mood and I always incorporate music into my novels and longer pieces.

  5. Wednesday is bugging me to tell you that the Gorillaz were her favourite band for three years! And me, I liked Blur, who wouldn’t! Damon Albarn is cool!

  6. Pingback: “The Journal of Wall Grimm” 150: Stupiditum Disorder Impulsive Type & Sunshine in a Bag | thisoldtoad

  7. Well done. There is a lot of truth in those words, “fictional” or not. :)

  8. I definitely have some sort of Oblivium disorder…oblivious to most everything. It makes me seem uncaring when in fact I really don’t notice a ton of shit.

  9. Morbid Insanity

    “I heard that you can’t be a good psychologist or someone in that field unless you’ve been on the other side.” I agree, and it’s not so often that I agree with psychologists or someone who is majoring in psychology. lol

    • lol it is honestly a recommendation for students of psychology. But I had already been there by the time I was studying, so I didn’t have to do it for the course.

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