“The Journal of Wall Grimm”134: A Very Special Grimm

November 12, 2103

My mom told me that a long time ago when a sitcom would have an episode that touched on serious and mature subject matter, they would say at the beginning that it was a “very special episode.”

Well you Invisible Journal Reading People, there is some very special content today.

My name is Wall Grimm and Invisible Viewer discretion is required.

WALL GRIMM’S VERY SPECIAL JOURNAL ENTRY

First thing, now and then I go through a phase when I don’t write so much in my journal, I guess I’m going through that now.  I think mostly I’m just too preoccupied, not very happy, apart from Valentina.  The best thing that happened this week was that we got the blood work results which proved that Sweetheart and I are Valentina’s biological parents.  Anyway, I’m going to skip all last week and go right to Sunday afternoon.

Valentina was at my mom’s who volunteered to babysit to give us a little break.  I get breaks when I go to work, so it was more for Sweetheart.  My mom’s confused and thinks we’re this couple, but we’re not.  Anyway, Sweetheart was sleeping in my room, I was lying on the couch reading but kind of falling asleep.  Pete said he was going to run some errands–get milk, cream, sugar, coffee, other stuff, and pick up some Chinese food.

I put the book down and decided to sleep.  I was wearing boxers and a t-shirt.  Now, my preference when I’m hanging around in my own home is to just be in bikini briefs, but not anymore.  Now when I’m wearing them, Sweetheart will kinda sexually harass me which feels stupid to say, but it’s annoying.  Especially since I’m trying to avoid a sexual relationship with her.  Except a couple times she gave me a blow job, but she offered and that’s hard to resist.

Anyway, while I was drifting off to sleep, she comes out in some lingerie thing and sits on me and says “hi.”  I didn’t say anything, but she began to rub her hands on my stomach and chest up my shirt and she says, “you’re so hard.”

I just said, “…uummmm…”

“You’re body.  Since you’ve been working out so much.  You’re hard.”

I kind of nodded, then she squirmed a bit and laughed.  She looked down and ran her finger on the tip of my dick.  I was hard and my dick was kind of peaking out from the top of my boxers.  I figured she was going to offer me another blow job.  But she said that she wanted me to fuck her and to fuck her really hard.  She told me to slam her so that she could feel it in the huge vagina she has after giving birth.  Then she slapped me, which was stupid and confusing.  But she was moving around on me and then ran off to get a condom.  It really is like a switch.  Dick/brain dick/brain dick/brain.  She slapped me, brain kicks in.  Then she grinds a little and runs for a condom, dick takes charge.

She comes back, pulls down my boxers enough to put the condom on me, then she slaps me again, harder than the last time.  I was like, “the fuck you’re doing!?”

She tells me that the night the cops came, my aggression and forcefulness turned her on.  She said it was sexy and powerful.

“….ummmm ok…so that makes you hit me?”

She said she was trying to get me to hit her back.  I laughed which annoyed her and she slapped me.  I said for her to stop because I wasn’t going to hit her.  But I did flip our positions and got her pinned down with one hand, and I started tickling her with my other hand.  I hate tickling honestly.  I hate being tickled, so I never tickle other people, or at least not longer than for a few seconds.  But she was annoying me, and watching her squirm was hot.  I didn’t do it for very long because one of her straps snapped and exposed her tit.  So I started licking and sucking her nipple.  I released her hands and moved to lie half on her so I could finger her while I did that, but she was already really wet.  We fooled around a little more until we were both crazy hot and then I got on her and started to fuck her and she begins to push me away and say “no stop, please no” very realistically.  I stopped and moved away and said, “I’m sorry, what did I do?”

She said she was playing and to come back.  I said I didn’t like that, but we started again.  I’m slamming her, then she starts up with the no, please don’t crying and pushing me away.  I stand up, put on my boxers and head to the kitchen for a drink.  She grabs me around the ankles and says “please fuck me, please, don’t stop, fuck me Grimm.”  And, ummmmm, dick switches on, “duuuhh okkay dokkay”

So I go in for more, she starts squirming and fighting and pulling my hair saying, “please, no, please stop” and I just grab her arms, pin them down, keep fucking her and I say, “just shut up already and enjoy it” and of course, Pete the Master of Timely Arrivals walks in.  He enters just as I say that, and then I go on to say, “it’s no fun for me if you keep fighting.”

Pete’s such a hero.  He pulls me off of her and tells me to get the fuck out.  I was so confused by the whole thing, I did.  I got dressed, packed up a bag of shit and left.  Sweetheart didn’t say a fucking word as Pete sat with her on the couch with his arms around her after he wrapped her in a blanket.  I was too confused to push the matter or defend myself either.

It was so messed up.  I don’t understand it.  She was acting like I was raping her and of course that’s what Pete saw when he came in, and I was just trying to have normal sex, because she clearly wanted sex.  I was just trying to get her to stop the play acting, but now that I’m away, it feels like I did something wrong.  I keep going over it again and again in my head and I feel ashamed and confused and I just can’t place how I feel.  I’m naturally dominant sexually I guess, but that doesn’t mean I like to force a woman to do what she doesn’t want to do.  There’s a difference.  And even if she’s asking me to play a game, well it felt real.  I just don’t understand it.

Anyway, so I took off, got on the train, went into Boston, and I’ve been at the hostel for the past two nights.  I haven’t called anyone, and I’ve ignored all phone calls.  Well I did call in sick with Sharly.  And yesterday we weren’t having Blues Monday, because it was Veteran’s Day so the guys were going to see some veteran friends and go to celebrations.  They invited me, I said I’d show up maybe, but I didn’t.  I wanted to because I wanted to honor the veterans, but I just walked around Boston aimlessly instead.  Kind of did the Freedom Trail, but with a half-mind and half-direction.

I don’t know when I’m going back.  The thought of going back makes me sick.  I don’t know if Pete knows the truth, and I’m sure I can get him to believe me if he doesn’t.  It’s Sweetheart.  I don’t want to see her.  I’m sick of her.  I want her to get out of my life.  But I don’t want to lose Valentina.  So I don’t know what to do.

*******

previous Grimm 133: Reservation Birth, The Blues Feel, Gary Oldmanisms, & Lord Gary Oldman http://wp.me/p41c99-kI

next Grimm 135: Grimm The Lowly Not-A-Real Cowboy http://wp.me/p41c99-kT

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 116-140 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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16 thoughts on ““The Journal of Wall Grimm”134: A Very Special Grimm

  1. toad (chris jensen)

    Reblogged this on thisoldtoad.

  2. Lol! :D

  3. Sorry, it didn’t end up being funny, just the bit about sweetheart playing, and Grimm’s dick/brain switching “duuuhh okkay dokkay”made me laugh.

    • lol I thought you were laughing at something specific. I saw the ‘lol’ last night but wasn’t sitting down to reply to comments at the time. Now you clarify. And the “duuuhh okay dokkay” made me laugh when I was writing it too. Thanks!

      • I don’t know why, but I started reading posts from the most recent, then back, yesterday. I must learn not to comment when I do this. It’s bad enough that I feel the urge to lol comment midway when it wound up a really traumatic post.
        Afterwards, I wondered if Sweetheart was just as confused as Grimm, or was she manipulating the situation to make Grimm look bad, as an excuse to leave with the baby.

        • Nothing wrong with reading it backwards. I originally planned it to be read sporadically and randomly without losing anything, but it has gotten a little plot heavy. Is it enjoyable backwards? Hope so, at least you’re not reading from the end, since there is no end yet lol.
          And that’s a good question about Sweetheart. I haven’t fully plotted out Sweetheart’s background or history, or even her motivations. I’ve purposely left them vague in my own mind, in order to keep Grimm’s version of her ambiguous and uncertain. Basically I could go anywhere with Sweetheart, since she’s only defined by Grimm’s perspective. One thing I’d say about her is that I believe she would never do anything to manipulate or hurt anyone else. She has a lot of motivations to please, or to simply be. I think she’s always found comfort in Grimm’s home, and security being with Grimm. Her motivations for this post could easily be explained in any number of ways. But I wouldn’t say it would be to harm Grimm intentionally in any way. Thanks for asking!

  4. Yes, I get the feeling she is innocent, but things are changing fast for her, as becoming a mother does this. And yes, we don’t see her at all if not through the eyes of Sage. At this point, a lot hinges on survival, which is a desperate motivator and interpreter of actions. I never felt what was to happen later here though. It was such a devastating shock. Anyway… :)

  5. It’s good to meet someone who writes like this. Some people say that you have to have everything worked out before you even start writing. But I like the idea of it happening, as life happens, mostly without a plan, but as a consequential constant and organic moving thing. I don’t know if I said that right. But it lives well and feels more real like this. I like that.

    • Well thank you so much! It does make sense, and I appreciate your saying that. I think with Grimm it’s easier than a novel because a novel needs to end. Grimm’s only going to end when I’m bored with him, or when he becomes a 30 year old guy who still hasn’t gotten his shit together yet lmao

  6. How old is he now? Twenty-three, twenty-two? It’s going to be a marathon! And he won’t get boring. Oh God, when will I get my life back. Looks like I’ll have to only read you on Mondays or something. Get a bit of discipline into my life. Lol!

    • He turned 24 on August 9th. I’ll be your Monday read? That’s so cool lol May I ask why you don’t have your life right now?

      • It just happens when I sit down at the computer. I grow roots like a tree and it’s very hard to move me. I used to like this when I was writing a lot, and it was a good balance to work. But since I am not working, and I have had a problem with depression and lack of motivation I seem to have latched onto just being still. Things I like lately are few, and I guess Grimm is one of them. (ie: the few things I like) lately.

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