May 30, 2013
We left New Orleans and drove to Houston. We arrived there at about 3 pm on Tuesday. Along the way, we stopped so I could toss my mojo into some large body of water, I’m not sure what it was, but it was bigger and better than a toilet. Then I was free of my succubus thanks to the Voodoo lady. When I was pulling the mojo out of my pocket, I also pulled out a rubber fried egg. We had been walking down Bourbon Street and a trannie gave me the rubber fried egg and said, “here honey, you’re so handsome, I want you to have one of my ovaries.” It’s a crazy souvenir but it amuses me.
Snow White texted back saying she had an awesome time and asked if we’d be going back to Magic Kingdom. I said no but she should come up to Boston and I’ll take her around the city. She said “Id love to!!!” So that’s left open. My princess might come to town. I think I may end it with Paula. Honestly I’m happy with her, but I don’t respect her enough in the way that I think I’d fuck around anytime I’m given the chance. So far on this road trip, it’s just been a lot of jerking off in the shower. I woke up one night really horny when I was sleeping next to Pete. Half disoriented and used to sleeping with Paula, I spooned him, but I woke up quickly enough and he didn’t wake up at all. I didn’t even want to jerk off after that because it was just weird, so I took a walk and smoked a cigarette.
Anyway, we arrived in Houston at 3pm on Tuesday. We went directly to the Morty Rich Hostel and got a private room. We spent most of the day there because it was so beautiful and there were trees, which was nice. I’ve been to Texas before and it freaks me out. I get agoraphobic or something because you can see for miles it’s so flat. So the trees were nice. They also had a pool and a pool table. We ventured out to walk around the city first after settling in. Huge city, much bigger than Boston, and very cool. The nightlife seemed like it would be awesome, but of course I can’t participate in that. I’m beginning to feel like such an asshole because I feel like I’m holding my friends back from the good times they could be having in the clubs. I’m just not ready to handle it yet. Anyway, later Tuesday we went to a coffee shop in Montrose. There we met this guy Andrew who was really cool. He wanted us to join him at this club Wednesday night because he said there were a few cool bands playing. I was like I can’t because I don’t want to be around alcohol. He told me he was in recovery too so we could support each other. I was so glad to hear that because I liked the idea of seeing some live music and also having my friends be able to drink. I’d just stick with Andrew, since he was more experienced with recovery than me.
After we went and all had some dinner together, we went back to Andrew’s because we had gotten onto the conversation which prompted his revelation that he had a stun gun and I was very curious about that. He offered to hit me with it. I was like, ok. I also wanted to distract his attention away from Hasty, since he seemed to be crushing on her or something. She’s a married woman and I’m looking out for her.
We went to his apartment, he clicked the button and it went zap and I saw the charge, he said, “are you sure?” But he had this look on his face like I thought I might not be able to change my mind. He was clearly going to enjoy this. We were standing in his kitchen, he reached out and aimed at my crotch. I was like, “no fucking way, get that fucking thing away from my balls.” He said, “you want me to charge your stomach so you can shit your pants?” I said, “umm no. but thanks.”
So he held it up to my arm for a few seconds until I actually fell on the floor. It was so fucking painful. All my muscles tightened and I convulsed. I could hear the charge zapping in my brain. I just lied on the floor for a bit because I was unable to move. My friends were all like, are you ok? I think I was drooling.
Andrew said, “what did you think?”
I said, “I wicked hated that.”
“You wicked did, huh?”
“Yeah,” and I laughed the stupidest laugh, I sounded like Goofy the Disney dog because my diaphragm was all weak and shit.
Patrick said, “He never laughs, but this he laughs at.”
Andrew said, “Because he’s nuts like me.”
He offered to do it again, I said ok why not. So he did it while I was lying on the floor, a little longer than the last time. It took me a long time to recover. I heard them talking to me and I understood what they were saying, but I just lied there, unable to move, or without the energy to move and my eyes were half open, I don’t think I even could blink. They thought I was dead but I couldn’t tell them I wasn’t. Andrew said I was ok, just tired. When I finally moved they told me never to do that again. Especially since not only did I piss my pants the second time, but I bit my tongue so blood was coming out of my mouth, which freaked them out.
I still thought it was funny. I think I could get addicted to that even though it’s painful. The whole experience was just really intense. Andrew gave me a pair of sweatpants to wear back to the hostel. I didn’t really want to be seen in them because they were kinda tight on me since he was like half my size and I had no underwear so yeah, my boys were no secret. Especially since they were roaming free and rubbing the material when I moved, which tickled my balls and I had to keep fighting off an erection. After the stun gun, my body was doing all kinds of crazy shit, blood rushed all over to my muscles and brain and everywhere.
Anyway, at this moment as I write, we’re packing up to begin the long trek to Colorado. We’re going to go there then up North and then down the West Coast into California. From there, we’ll pick up the Mother Road, Route 66 and follow it all the way through into Illinois, then drive East, then North East to home. Something like that, unless some unforeseen circumstance alters our course.
I have more to tell of our Houston story, but I have to get ready to hit the road. I’ll finish the story as we drive if it doesn’t make me motion sick. Andrew hung out with us all yesterday and last night, he was pretty cool. He was just what I needed to keep me hanging on in recovery. He knew what I was going through, and gave me a chance to get highs in other ways.
previous Grimm Road Trip 5: New Orleans http://wp.me/p41c99-f6
next Grimm Road Trip 7: Houston part 2, Hermann Park http://wp.me/p41c99-g6
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