“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 71: Exuding Charisma, Ripley on Crack, Men Stuff, & ABBA

March 26, 2013

Saturday night I went out with Patrick, Pete, Hasty, and her Husband.  Patrick, Pete, and Hasty dressed disco.  I was going to do it too but I saw the options and hadn’t realized how effeminate the 70s were.  Especially since I was born in 1989.  Yes, that’s right, I will be 24 years old this year.  In August.  I’m a Leo.

I met someone once who guessed I was a Leo in a matter of seconds after meeting me.  I asked how they could tell.  They said that Leos will walk into a room and they don’t have to say a word, but everyone is instantly aware of their presence.  They exude charisma.  She actually used those words, I never forgot it.  She said that a Leo will enter the room and people will each take a moment to stop what they’re doing and stare, if only for a few seconds, but it’s usually longer.  I said, well thanks, but now I’m kind of paranoid.

Anyway, I guess it’s nice to know that wherever I’m going, I’m exuding charisma.  Sounds kind of like a disease, like oozing some kind of bodily fluid.  Yeah, I exude charisma every time I shoot a load.

Ok, so what the hell was I talking about before all that…oh yeah effeminate disco clothing for men.  So yeah, Hasty’s husband and I opted out.  It’s bad enough I look like one of those freakin’ Yahoo avatars now.  I cut my hair because I didn’t want the blue anymore.  So I took the electric razor, set it to 2, and shaved off all the blue.  Now I look like an avatar and not a real person.  I think with my head nearly shaved, in feminine disco clothes, I’d look like Ripley on crack.  Yeah, that’s Ripley from “Alien,” “Aliens,” all that, whatever one she’s got a shaved head.  So people would definitely stop and stare when I’d enter the room, and not because I was exuding charisma.

But that’s neither here nor there.  <—I’ve always wanted to use this expression and I’ve never had the opportunity until now.  This is a pivotal moment for me.  I must pause to reflect…

My name is Wall Grimm and I am pausing to reflect.

WALL GRIMM PAUSES TO REFLECT

Nice.  So yeah, out at the gay bar with friends in disco clothes and a husband.  He and I sat at the bar talking most of the night while Hasty danced sandwiched by Patrick and Pete.  I think P & P (kind of cool but a little too Hipster/Hollywood so that’s the last time I’ll do that) I think Patrick and Pete were kind of into each other and having Hasty there made it easier for them to be together because neither of them seem very forward, both shy if you ask me.

After we first got to the bar and sat and got our drinks, when they first went out to the dance floor, I said to Hasty’s husband, because I have a bad habit of being brutally honest in the strangest way possible, “I think perverted things about your wife.”  He didn’t seem to mind but responded, “So do I.”  Then I knew we’d get along.  We talked about guy stuff like household repairs, the Bruins, and marshmallows.  Yeah men like marshmallows.  But we hate them in our hot chocolate.  We stir until they melt.  We like them in cereal, especially in Count Chocula, and we like them over a campfire, scorched and on fire so you have to blow them out when you eat them.  Or if you’re drunk and stupid enough and can open your mouth wide enough, you just shove them in your mouth while they’re in flames.  But yeah, they should be charred on the outside and gooey on the inside.  That’s the way real men like them.

So I was having this conversation with her husband, damn I forgot his name, or did I even listen when it was told to me…when Hasty came over and grabbed me by the upper arm to get me to dance.  Her fingers went in up under my armpit and it tickled me, so I laughed and squirmed away for a second.  Not a good thing for Hasty to know about me, I realized later.  After I recovered, and resumed the men talk with her man, she returned later and from behind stuck her fingers up in my armpits and really tickled me.  I squirmed and fell off the barstool and splatted on the floor.

I literally splatted.  I mean I actually heard the sound SPLAT! when I landed.  It was nuts and undignifying.  But I got a glimpse up her disco dress so I felt like a man again, then I sat back at the bar, facing out to the dance floor so that wouldn’t happen again.  Hasty stood and faced me and her husband, talking to us.  She asked her husband if she could kiss me, I was like ummm no that would be awkward.  Respecting the marital boundaries.  I know I had sex with that woman in the same room with her husband on St. Patrick’s Day weekend, but that was for Dropkick Murphys tickets.  Here with Hasty, I think it’s a good idea to maintain a certain level of boundaries because I have a tendency to rationalize that crossing boundaries is ok now and then.  Like taking Bob’s money.  I rationalized that he punched me in the face so it was justifiable and I don’t need to pay back.

Whatever, thanks Bob for the dough because I had a great time out Saturday night with some of that money.

While I talked with Hasty and her husband.  Patrick and Pete were talking a few stools down and I think there’s some mutual interest going on.  Good, maybe if Pete has someone to occupy his time he’ll stop being a pain in the ass and scrutinizing me.

At the end of the night, the DJ played ABBA for like the last several songs.  Hasty’s husband and I were dragged out to dance so all five of us were dancing.  I have no fucking clue how to dance to disco, but it didn’t even matter by then.  We all danced as a group and had a really good time.

*******

previous Grimm 70: Bob’s Money, Wall Grimm’s Lists of Bad and Good Things, & The Rhealm of Grimm http://wp.me/p41c99-b2

next Grimm 72: WTF is Wrong With the “Walking Dead” Writers? & Hire Me http://wp.me/p41c99-be

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Patrick is a character based on Patrick at http://phintly.wordpress.com/ and Hasty is based on Hasty from http://hastywords.wordpress.com/ And Hasty’s husband is based on her husband at http://hastyhusband.wordpress.com/

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 51-75 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

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12 thoughts on ““The Journal of Wall Grimm” 71: Exuding Charisma, Ripley on Crack, Men Stuff, & ABBA

  1. Desiree G

    “Yeah, I exude charisma every time I shoot a load.” That has to be one of the greatest lines EVER!! I love it — any time I need a smile, I will think of Wall saying this! THANK YOU!! (Wish I was clever enough to write a poem about it!)

    • lmao, glad you liked that. It’s funny, whenever people comment on lines from Grimm that make them laugh, those are usually the lines that I’m laughing at when I write them. And you are clever enough, and it would be fitting for your blog ;)

  2. Pingback: THE GAY BAR, HASTY, & WALL GRIMM’S ECSTASY EPIPHANY by Sage Doyle | hastywords

  3. I just love reliving these moments! :)

  4. Pingback: MEETING GRIMM | hastywords

  5. toad (chris jensen)

    Reblogged this on thisoldtoad.

  6. Pingback: MEETING GRIMM | "The Journal of Wall Grimm"

  7. My wife’s mom was in ABBA.

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