February 12, 2013
Valentine’s Day is coming and I still don’t know what to do about Emma. I’ve been texting with Danika about some ideas but I think she’s getting annoyed with me. I’ve decided to get Sweetheart some chocolates but I’m not going to get her flowers because she told me that she doesn’t like cut flowers since she learned that scientists recorded sounds like screams that the flowers make when they are being cut.
You pick a flower and it screams. That’s so fucked up.
So yeah, just chocolates for her. But Emma…I guess my idealistic expectations of the holiday would be that I would sweep her off her feet. I dream and stuff, but I’m realistic, I know that won’t happen, but I can still try anyway.
That’s the thing about me, I try for the impossible.
There are many interesting things about me in fact. But for now, I’m going to outline the five phases of my beingness.
My name is Wall Grimm and this is who I am.
THE FIVE PHASES OF GRIMM:
1. THE GYPSY – Well, I am a gypsy for real. Siciliani Romani blood to be specific.
2. THE VAMPIRE – I like to lurk at night. I wear a lot of black. I don’t like steak. I drink too much.
3. THE WEREWOLF – I like to howl at the moon. I like to run around naked. I like spending time in the woods. I often have blackouts.
4. THE ZOMBIE – I moan a lot for various reasons, like during sex, during or after an orgasm, during or after a good meal, when sitting down after a long day. With an Italian heritage, moaning comes with the territory. So yeah, I moan a lot. I often stagger aimlessly. I sometimes walk around without being fully conscious or aware. Unlike the vampire and the werewolf when I pursue my next fixes, as a zombie I wander around until my next fixes appear before me.
5. GARY OLDMAN – My Gary Oldmanism for the day: Gary Oldman said, “I enjoy playing characters where the silence is loud.” Ok Gary Oldman, that’s awesome. So the phase of Gary Oldman that is me involves the actor part of him who is kind of a shapeshifter, and for me, when I’m quiet, inside my head it’s never quiet, inside my body, it’s very loud, but nobody knows this about me.
So basically I begin each night as a gypsy being in tune and aware. Then I get high and drunk and I’m like a vampire, a little seductive and drinking excessively. As the evening progresses, I can get hairy like a werewolf, kind of wild, sometimes belligerent, often on the hunt for sex or drugs or both. The next morning I’m like a zombie, hung over, staggering, fucking stupid. During the course of the following day I’m like Gary Oldman, shaping myself, evolving, returning to the character that is me, Wall Grimm the gypsy.
So if I had no drugs or alcohol, I wonder if I would just always remain consistently myself, I might miss those other phases. But maybe if I ever quit I can use those phases as a method, like archtypes of my higher self, allowing the transitions in a more natural manner. Then I might be a gypsy at my best, a vampire when I need a fix, a werewolf when the anger takes over, a zombie when I’m depressed, and Gary Oldman when I’m trying to pull myself together. Sounds pretty cool actually. It could either work, or I could just trigger dissociative disorder. Either way, I think I might be a little scary to be around if I go through that.
previous Grimm 52: The Blizzard & Jerking Off http://wp.me/p41c99-9e
next Grimm 54: Valentine Demolition http://wp.me/p41c99-9o
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