February 3, 2013
Last night Pete, Sweetheart, Danika, Jeff, Ayla, Dave and I went to the Halloween Store and bought a bunch of special effects makeup. Then we went back to my place, tore up and bloodied our clothing, and made each other up like zombies. Then we took acid and smoked some pot. Once we were tripping enough, we wandered out onto the street and pretended to be real zombies.
Most people laughed, some people were actually afraid. We were walking down the street and a cop pulls up beside us and gets out to see what we’re up to. Dave said, “we want to eat brains.” The cop seemed amused but hid it well. Or maybe I imagined that because I was tripping. He was like, “What are you guys on?” Dave said, “formaldehyde” and the cop told him he should shut up and he didn’t want to hear another word out of him.
I said, “sorry officer, he’s a wise ass, we’re just having fun, you know ‘The Walking Dead’ is coming back next week, so…..yeah…”
The cop laughed and said it was an awesome show and of course Rick was his favorite character, but that he’d have gotten into Andrea’s pants long ago if he himself was one of the single men. He said at least Shane had that.
The cop couldn’t really tell we were tripping since we had Zombie contacts and he couldn’t see how dialated our pupils were. I think he just thought maybe we had been smoking pot.
Another cop car pulled up but the first cop said we were no trouble, just having fun, but we better not fuck with people. Dave said, “but just walking down the street dressed like this is fucking with people. By default.”
The second cop agreed. Anyway they let us move on. I liked seeking out the pretty girls and going up to them and they were kind of scared, kind of amused, and kind of flattered that a zombie was flirting with them in a living dead kind of way. One girl said, “are you going to eat me?” She meant it innocently, but my mind got so clouded with perversion that I could only laugh and walk away.
We walked to the cemetery and as people walked by, we started moaning and creeping by the iron gate. A few people screamed and ran. A photographer caught up with us and took our picture for the newspaper so we’ll be in Monday’s paper.
Then we went to a rave. I learned that girls are turned on by men dressed as zombies. I got a lot of attention. I was dancing with about 5 girls at once. It seemed like the evening was going to come to a very hot end until I went to get drinks for me and all five girls and then I fucked with Dave while we at the bar waiting to order. I told him I was a real zombie and I had this idea to dress up like one because I knew I’d be turning soon and I wanted to disguise it. I told him Sweetheart and Pete were real zombies too. I said we’re going to turn this entire club into zombies. He was tripping so hard he believed me and started freaking out, yelling incoherently about zombies even though he was dressed like one. I tried to go back to the five girls, but Danika said, “no Grimm. Come.” And I obeyed her like a dog, waving at the hot girls as I left the club. Once we were a ways down the street and Dave wouldn’t calm down, I punched him in the face and told him to shut the fuck up. He wasn’t a problem after that, but the rave mood was lost so we didn’t go back in. Well I didn’t lose it but I lost those girls. Damn.
We spent the rest of the night going into public places moaning like zombies and rambling about brains. I realized that being a zombie is kind of stress free. No thought, no pain, no worries, no love. Z is for zombie as well as it is for zen.
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