January 31, 2013
Last night Danika picked me up and brought me to Emma’s with her karaoke machine. It was about 8pm and I know her evening schedule changed this semester so I knew she’d be home. I’m usually getting out of work then, but because of my torn ligament, Sharly’s letting me stay home until Monday.
Anyway, we got to Emma’s and knocked, no answer. I knew she was home because the lights were on. She leaves only certain lights on when she’s not home. The lights that were on were the ‘at home’ lights.
I was going to call her cell but I decided to call her land line. She’s one of the very few people I know who have a land line. She says that it makes her feel safer that if she needs to call 911 they will find her more quickly than if she used her cell. She’s also the only person I know besides my parents who has an answering machine. She said she likes them because she thinks they’re old fashioned, which I think is adorable, and she likes being able to screen calls without being in the same room as the phone.
Since she has this convenient prehistoric device, I decided to utilize its services. I called on her land line and said something like this on the answering machine, “Emma please pick up, or come to the door, or at least the window, I’m clean, I promise, I just don’t want to lose you as a friend. I know I do a lot of stupid things, but you are my best friend and I don’t know what to do without you. It’s been a couple of months now and–” Then the machine cut me off. I was clean too, as best I could be on Percocet. But I had to take the pain killers to be on my feet, and that was the only substance I was on at the time. I guess I’m not that much of a pussy but shut up, I’m doing the best I can. (Love arguing with invisible people).
So Emma never picked up, didn’t come to the door or the window, so I just went with it anyway. I very slowly shimmied my way up on top of the car. The strange blue cushiony and white plasticy brace kind of thingy on my leg, along with the triggered pain, didn’t make the task too easy but I did it and stood on the roof of the car, hoping I wouldn’t fall off. Danika set up the karaoke machine and handed me the microphone and one crutch. I’m not the greatest singer, but I’m not so bad, can’t compete with Stevie Wonder, but I sang a cappella “You are the Sunshine of My Life” anyway.
You are the sunshine of my life That’s why I’ll always be around, You are the apple of my eye, Forever you’ll stay in my heart
I feel like this is the beginning, Though I’ve loved you for a million years, And if I thought our love was ending, I’d find myself drowning in my own tears
You are the sunshine of my life, That’s why I’ll always stay around, You are the apple of my eye, Forever you’ll stay in my heart
You must have known that I was lonely–
And it was about here that Emma’s roommate, Gwen, came out. She said she was sorry, she didn’t realize I had such an elaborate plan, but she was trying to mind her own business. She said Emma wasn’t home. I was like, but she’s home Tuesday nights this semester. She said, “It’s Wednesday.” I was like, fuck!
GRIMM IS A FUCKING IDIOT!
I used to be Valente Grimani. At 18 I legally changed my name. I’m 23 now. My mother brings me from a heritage of Siciliani Romani. My father comes from a family of prosperity left behind generations ago. My name is Wall Grimm and I’m a fucking idiot.
I used to be cool, now I’m a loser. Wicked bad. I’m a Bostonian loser.
I convinced Gwen to erase the voice mail and to not tell Emma about this. I don’t know when I will have the balls to do anything like that again. We got in the car and as Danika drove away I actually started to fucking cry. I was trying hard to be discrete or to suck it up, just to fucking stop, but I couldn’t control it, no matter how hard I tried. Danika noticed of course and pulled over.
She said, “Grimm…”
I popped a perc in my mouth and said I’m all right let’s just swing by the packie and get a bottle of whiskey. So that’s what we did. Last night was so mild it was like 40 degrees Fahrenheit so we just sat outside my apartment in the back under a tree, surrounded by the thickest fog. We sat on a blanket from Danika’s car. We drank the bottle. I drank most of it. And I gave Danika a perc. We talked about everything but Emma. We didn’t go inside until we were both laughing. Danika had to spend the night because she was too messed up to drive. Pete gave her the couch and I gave Pete a sleeping bag. My leg is killing me this morning, I was an idiot to get up on top of that car.
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