January 29, 2013
Last night Pete, Jeff, Jay, Ayla, Sweetheart and I went skiing and snowboarding. Jeff and Jay snowboard, the rest of us ski. Last night they were trying to teach Ayla to snowboard, but she’s not even a very good skier. Sweetheart had never skied so she took an hour lesson. I haven’t gone in years because it’s so expensive. It’s about the cost of 2 months worth of groceries for me. Maybe a month’s worth of drugs. But I asked my parents for the money to go and for some extra to pay for Sweetheart. It’s been a long time since I asked them for money so they gave it to me. I think they were glad to see me doing something healthy. They didn’t know how many drugs I’d be doing during the trip.
I had to go to my parents’ anyway to get my old skis and poles and boots. I got them for a Christmas present when I was 17ish. My foot grew since then so the boots were too small. When we went to rent the stuff, I only needed the boots, then I asked the guy to fit my boots to my old skis. He popped the boots into the skis and popped them back out and said, “they fit.” I was like, that’s weird because the boots a larger size, but whatever.
Later, I wiped out on a mogul, a real icy one that sent me flying literally into the air. I landed and rolled for a while. Only one of my skis released. The other one stuck perpendicular out of the ground with my leg still attached. That fucker at the rental booth, I knew he was a fuck-up.
Anyway, first thing I did was glance at my body to be sure I landed properly. In other words, were all my limbs in normal positions and not twisted backwards or bent up under my body in some strange way. Everything looked normal. I reached back and released the ski with my pole. Some guy stopped and asked if I was ok, I was like, “I’m not really sure.” He said for me to not move, stay there, he’ll get the medics.
I started to move because I was high on cocaine and feeling very confident. I sat on the ground to wait and I sang “Spirit In the Sky” by Norman Greenbaum in my head. We heard it on the radio on the way there, that’s how I knew it was Norman Greenbaum. I thought his name sounded Jewish, and I know that Jesus was Jewish so that’s why I remembered his name.
“When I die and they lay me to rest Gonna go to the place that’s the best When I lay me down to die Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky Goin’ up to the spirit in the sky That’s where I’m gonna go when I die When I die and they lay me to rest Gonna go to the place that’s the best…”
Then I was thinking, this is taking too long and I’m cold so I stood, but the medic showed up and kind of shouted in a firm but kind way, “get down! don’t move!”
I said, but it doesn’t hurt, he told me then it could be serious because that’s the body’s defense working. Another medic showed up after him and they got me on this toboggan. One guy in front of the toboggan, the other guy behind. So I was lying on my back looking up into the sky and it was one of the coolest things that ever happened to me.
“Never been a sinner I never sinned I got a friend in Jesus So you know that when I die He’s gonna set me up with The spirit in the sky Oh set me up with the spirit in the sky That’s where I’m gonna go when I die When I die and they lay me to rest I’m gonna go to the place that’s the best Go to the place that’s the best”
I sang out loud because I was a little high and the guys were laughing at me but not in a mean way. At the medic’s I was sure to document that the fuck up at rentals didn’t fit my boot properly even though I asked him to and so the boot didn’t release. They treated me real well then. They wrapped me up said it was probably a torn or pulled ligament and my friends came to retrieve me once they were paged.
I told them they could still ski because I’d just hang out in the lodge and get shitfaced. So Jeff and Jay and Pete were glad about that. Ayla was done for the night. Ayla was kind of holding up Jeff and Jay because they couldn’t go to the summit since they were teaching her. Well they each did once because they took turns, but my wipe out happened within our first hour. Sweetheart was not good at skiing and was glad to quit for the night too, so Pete was relieved of that obligation. So I got to hang in the lodge with the snow bunnies and drink by the fireside, after the coolest toboggan ride. Very cool.
Ayla at first seemed very jealous of Sweetheart. If Sweetheart wasn’t there I’m sure Ayla would have figured out a discrete way to give me a blow job. So at first there was a little tension, coming only from Ayla, since Sweetheart’s a true hippy in the sense that she loves everyone. But then they started to talk about Emma, and they gave me some good advice. They said what I lost is not the potential to have her romantically, the potential would always be there. What I lost is her friendship, and that I need to show her how valuable that friendship is. They said that’s what I need to do is to make amends and resolve our problems. They said then, at the very least, we will still be friends, and I will still have her in my life. So, I should focus on the friendship first, and then work on getting my shit together before I attempt to make it progress. They said my desperation is failing me and making me sloppy. I need to think like a chess player. So I guess I can do that.
WALL GRIMM’S PLAN TO GET EMMA:
*Prove to Emma how valuable her friendship is.
*Heal the friendship.
*Be 12 moves ahead of Emma in my mind.
That’s not a manipulation, it’s just that I need to be aware of how my actions will cause her to react. Impulse in this situation is not a good idea.
Ayla, Sweetheart, and I spent the next three hours by the fire before the others joined us. I wasn’t in pain because I kept sprinkling cocaine into my whiskey. I was very fucked up by the time we eventually went to the hospital to get x-rays. I have a torn ligament behind my knee. Sharly said I need to stay off my feet for a few days so I don’t have to work again until Monday which is cool. And the Percocets are awesome.
Now I can have time to plan the next phase of my life. Pete and Sweetheart maybe can help me. Because yeah, I admit, I really do need help.
previous Grimm 46: Emma, Gary Oldmanism #1 of 2013, & the Gorillaz http://wp.me/p41c99-8c
next Grimm 48: Danika & the Karaoke Machine http://wp.me/p41c99-8t
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