“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 37: Dreams of Kathy & When Grimm Met Emma

November 27, 2012

I’m up way too early this morning.  I had this dream about Kathy.  I haven’t dreamed about her in a long time it seems.  For a while it felt like I was the only one who recognized that it was really her coming to me in my dreams.  And she wanted me to hold her and just feel safe and comfortable.  But then she began to kind of freak me out because she was no longer in my sleeping life but she was kind of haunting me too.  I would see visions of her and she’d kind of follow me around.  That, along with the shadowy guy, who is either like a ghost or an omen or the Grim Reaper, were kind of making me feel for a while that I wanted these other worldly beings to just get the fuck away from me, stop trying to suck my life because they don’t have any.  Kathy killed herself and I felt sad long enough.  Now I feel angry because I don’t understand why she would do that.  Essentially it’s pretty selfish.  Because you end your pain permanently, and leave it behind for everyone else to suffer, permanently.  Yet, the pain was probably never permanent to begin with, though now it is.  We all have pain and we work to get past it.  It might stay as pain but it’s a different kind of thing.  It’s just a dark piece of yourself that fits into the puzzle of who you are.

So anyway, I’m up early because Kathy was in my dream and it woke me.  Lauren was there beside me sleeping and she has a very low, monotone snore that’s kinda cute.  I put my arms around her and woke her as I fingered her and kissed her neck and we had sex.  Then she went back to sleep now I’m up, wrapped in a blanket and drinking wine.  It’s about 7am or so.  I have to work in 5 hours and that kind of sucks because once I start drinking, I can’t stop.  I’m already done for.  Geesh this is all kind of melancholy crap, let me end with a funny story.

My name is Wall Grimm and this is my funny story that doesn’t involve drugs, sex, or alcohol:

I met Emma officially at a McDonald’s when we were 14.  She was with all her girl friends and I was hanging with the guys.  Emma’s group were popular girls, kind of clique-y, but Emma’s not really clique-y by nature.  My friends were kind of a cross between the group that knows everyone and is at every party and the group that people were afraid of.  I noticed her and thought she was beautiful and what do you do when you’re a kid and you want to get some notice or something but you’re not sure what to do?  You get up from the safety zone of your table and you ……walk by.  Yeah, it’s the walk by.  Girls do it, guys do it.  Girls try to look hot, which doesn’t take much effort when their audience is a bunch of 14 year-old horny kids.  Guys just try not to fall on their faces, hoping maybe to look cool in the process of not falling on their faces.  Well I’ll be honest, I looked cool.  Until I fell on my face.  Then all the girls laughed.  Turns out it was some stupid jock who tripped me though.  Then he and his friends and my friends and I got in a fight.  We brought it outside right away, and the girls followed out to watch.  They seemed unsure whether they should be scared or think it was awesome.

Then I heard the cops in the distance and we all took off in different directions.  The guys did anyway.  The girls figured they wouldn’t be in trouble so they were going back inside.  Emma looked concerned.  I asked her if she wanted to come with me.  She asked me my name I said “Valente Grimani” because I didn’t change it until I was 18.  She said that since I had such a cool Italian name she’d come with me and thought I also seemed chivalrous.  Then I knew I was in love with her and I’ve been in love with her ever since.

I grabbed her hand and we took off up the hill in the woods behind McDonald’s.  We ran down several backroads until we got to the park.  Then we sat on the swings and that’s when we became best friends.  Only friends.  And we very rarely mixed the company of our friends.  When we hang out, it’s usually just us two and it’s always been that way since this first night.

And that’s my story.  Ok so it isn’t funny, but it didn’t have sex, drugs, or alcohol in it.  I forgot to mention the violence.


previous Grimm 36: Camping, Grimm the Naked Wolf, & the Firewoman http://wp.me/p41c99-6o

next Grimm 38: Grimm’s Fate & Melody http://wp.me/p41c99-6z

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

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17 thoughts on ““The Journal of Wall Grimm” 37: Dreams of Kathy & When Grimm Met Emma

  1. Morbid Insanity

    What means ‘clique-y’?

    • Cliques are groups of people or a group of friends that isolate other people and play favoritism with their own. So clique-y means that, and kind of unwelcoming to others.

      • Morbid Insanity

        Hmm, I got it. ^_^

        • Ok, I hoped that was a good description.

          • Morbid Insanity

            It was. And it took me to my moments in high school and made me realize that I were (and am) in the opposite side of the ‘cliques’…

          • I wasn’t in the clicks I was friends with everyone, mostly the pot smokers though lol My class was one of the biggest party/sex classes in the school’s history.

          • Morbid Insanity

            I was always the one who didn’t talk to anyone. Almost invisible, but not rude and unsympathetic, you know. I talk to you if you talk to me, just like that. But, yes, I had some people to talk, sometimes, and there were some potheads too. It’s interesting to talk to them.

            “My class was one of the biggest party/sex classes in the school’s history.”
            lol Cool!

            Funny, that in all the classes I’ve been in, had a reputation of being “the troublemakers’ class”. ¬¬

          • When I was in grade school, we were the most “immature” in middle school, “obnoxious” Guess we decided to do something about it and get drunk and have sex all the time in high school lol

          • Morbid Insanity

            lol Well, that’s right. At least you have good things to remember from when you were younger. I guess you still have some things you wanna do and you will reach a certain moment in your life that you will look back and feel relieved, after having done all you wanted, or the most important things, and you’ll have good reasons to laugh, great stories to tell… You won’t look back with a taste of frustration in your memory.

          • No I believe you’re right. At this time, I’m very satisfied. And a lot of those stories are in Grimm ;)

          • Morbid Insanity

            Of course, I was referring to Grimm. ;) But have to admit that, in the middle of the way, I was thinking about different people. Those ones that will never be complete. After an age when everything stops and becomes slower, the person’ll realize that lived a life of obligations and empty spaces. And just have frustrations and bitterness as companies of the everyday…

            “At this time, I’m very satisfied.” > That’s good! ^_^

          • Ah, makes sense. I think sometimes though the obligations can be very gratifying. At a certain point in my life, I craved a stable, predictable life, so I made it happen. And thank you. If you’d like to direct thoughts to Grimm directly, you can go to the Dialogue with Grimm page ;)

          • Morbid Insanity

            “made it happen.” > it’s not that easy!

            I know! It’s not my fault, it’s just difficult to remember! lol But I’ll try to remember. ;)

          • It’s ok, when I’m in there I get confused anyway lmao

          • Morbid Insanity

            I can imagine! ^_^

  2. My friends and I were in the smart click, and we wanted people to join us. We didn’t want to go out too much though.

    • The smart click, there was a girl who didn’t let me copy her algebra after I’d been out all night before school, because she said then I’d never learn it myself. It took me years to understand why she felt it mattered, and to recognize her integrity in refusing to let me copy. I didn’t care either way. Worst grades I ever got in my life in that class, but was fortunate enough to graduate with high honors without any effort. I was smart, just not in the click where I belonged maybe.


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