November 18, 2012
Last night I went to a party. Now that Emma hates me I feel like I don’t give a shit about anything and I feel kind of angry. I feel like I don’t want to even keep my job. I mean we’ve been friends since we were 14 years old, and now she decides to give up on me because of a few obnoxious nights. She was always too good for me, I guess it just took her this long to figure it out.
So I was at this party and they had music playing, I slipped in the Dropkick Murphys but some people complained after a while thinking it was too loud. There was also a problem since we created a pit in the dining room after moving the furniture out of the way, and one of the guys got slammed and then crashed through the window. He was miraculously unharmed, but the window… I helped to clean up until they decided I was a hindrance. I guess I was taking too long. They didn’t like how I’d pick up every piece of glass and say, “cool, look at this shape.” So they fired me from clean-up, assigning me to put on different music, preferably something mellower. I put on The Clash. Some people were like what the fuck is this old shit. I was like, these guys are timeless, shut the fuck up.
Randy arrived with his new girlfriend, a cute redhead named Lauren. I got more drunk and high and I smoked some opium with Dave, then I went upstairs to crash for a bit. Lauren came in and started kissing me. I kissed her back of course, until I realized it was Lauren, and I said “hey no, wait a minute, you’re Randy’s girlfriend.”
She was like “no I’m not.”
“Who are you?”
“Does it matter?” And she started rubbing my crotch.
It was then that I realized two things:
1. I was too fucked up to know if she was lying or not, but it was the strangest lie ever if she was.
2. I was too fucked up to get hard anyway, so that helped me in this situation.
But then I was completely distracted from rational thought and good decision making when this cute redhead took off her shirt and bra and she had these beautiful tits like from a Bernini sculpture or something, just perfect. Then my brain shut down and my dick said, “huh? what’s going on?”
So I pulled her down to lean over me so I could kiss her nipples while she groped me, but then Randy walked in. Needless to say he was a little angry. He grabbed her and slapped her. This pissed me off. Because I don’t care if she was wrong and being kind of a slut by trying to have it on with her boyfriend’s friend, you don’t hit a woman. That’s just wrong.
I stood up and grabbed him as he had her by the arm and was shouting in her face. She was crying because I think she felt guilty but also because she was in shock at being hit. I grabbed him, pulled him away from her, then shoved him against the wall. He came at me so we started to fight, each of us getting some good strikes in. She dressed herself I suppose and went to get our other friends to help.
They broke it up, but it took a while to calm us each down. I decided to leave so I took off. As I was walking down the street, I heard my name and turned back to see Lauren who was running to catch up. Now that I knew what her tits look like, it was even nicer to watch her run.
She didn’t say anything and neither did I. We just started walking together like on automatic. She walked with me all the way to my place and we fucked all night long. She is so hot. Now I’m up and she’s asleep in my bed and I’m thinking of Randy. He was already pissed off at me because Ayla likes me and he likes Ayla. And now, I stole his new girlfriend by accident.
Good thing is, he couldn’t kick my ass because if we ever really fought, I’d win. See, if Emma would just have me then I wouldn’t need to worry about this. It’s Emma’s fault that I’m losing Randy as a friend. Nah, I just have to blame someone other than me.
I blame Dropkick Murphys, those bastards.
I just went into peek in on Lauren and she’s naked in my bed wrapped up in my sheet and damn she’s like a goddess and I think, yeah, sorry Randy but it was worth it, you’re kind of an asshole anyway.
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