“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 30: Franz Ferdinand, Wall Grimm’s Undies and Estimations, Flower, & Bob

November 12, 2012

Veteran’s Day, I don’t have to work, I salute the veterans not for my day off but for everything they sacrificed for our country.  Maybe I should join the service, then my existence would mean something.  For now, I’m awake, I just did some coke, the last of it, I rationed it so it would last.  But that was so complicated, I almost didn’t enjoy it because all I did was anticipate the next lines even as I was cutting up ones I was about to do.

So anyway I put on some Franz Ferdinand and was kinda dancing around crazy with “This Boy” love this fucking song.  “I want a car, I want a car yeah!” Then there was a knock on my door and I opened it and it was my downstairs neighbor, Flower.  Yeah that’s her name.  My friends call her Flo but she hates that, so I call her Flower, sometimes I call her by the name of a different flower every time I see her.  Like Rose, Lilly, Dandelion, Daisy, and Hydrangea is my favorite name to call her.  Anyway, I guess they’re having a barbeque today because it’s supposed to be like 70 degrees and we can use our little yard, and she gives me a list of the friends I can have come and the friends she’d rather I didn’t invite.  She doesn’t like all of my friends.  Neither do I for that matter.  Then she winks before she leaves and says, “nice undies”  because I like to walk around my apartment in my underwear and quite honestly I have no qualms about answering the door that way.  (Yes I used the word qualms, don’t ever underestimate my intelligence).

WALL GRIMM’S LIST OF ESTIMATIONS:

My name is Wall Grimm and these are the things you must accurately estimate or even overestimate about me:

my intelligence, my ability to kick your ass (many a fool have underestimated this), my dick size (underestimating this can be a nice surprise however for the ladies), my sexual talents, my wit, my insight, my psychic ability that I often block out because sometimes I have no filter and it’s overwhelming, and my ability to make lists

Those are just a few things, there’s more, but I’m kind of wired.

My name is Wall Grimm and these are the things you are permitted to underestimate about me:

my drug use, my alcohol consumption, my dirty mind, my stupidity, my irresponsibility, my lack of motivation, my shyness, my laziness….

Yeah it’s getting too personal now.  So personal I can’t even share it with myself in my journal, because I’m strange.  Anyway so Flower, she lives with Bob.  Yeah that’s his name.  Flower and Bob.  I don’t need to say anymore.  They seem like a great couple but she’s a horrible flirt so I don’t know if she wants me and she’s a free loving hippy chic or what.  But Bob doesn’t seem to care.  But then again I think Bob has the hots for Emma.  Maybe they want an orgy.  Ok, I’m not even going to comment on that one because I’m too wired to jerk off (sans images of Bob of course).

So anyway after Flower glanced at my goods, wait, don’t underestimate, I reiterate, she glanced at my GOODS, she winked at me and flitted away back to her domicile.  I paused for a moment of reflection.  Then I danced more to Franz Ferdinand.  Then I sat and looked in the mirror.  And for a moment I looked like an old man.  I’m 23 but I feel so much older.  Something’s got to change, something needs to happen soon.

I still haven’t figured out what happened with Emma or why she’s pissed at me.  I haven’t tried to contact her.  We often go for a long time without communicating, then long periods when we see each other daily.  It’s like we’re each other’s periodic phases or something.  And though it’s kind of bugging me in almost a painful way, I just feel too ashamed to contact her, and embarrassed, and I don’t even know if I have a reason why I should feel that way.  Blacking out is no fun.  Being a loser in the eyes of the woman you love is no fun.  It used to be fun to be Grimm, now my way of life in itself is like a drug, just a habit I need to break.

*******

previous Grimm 29: Ayla, The Harmonica, The Pitcher of Beer, Pete, & Grimm’s A**hole http://wp.me/p41c99-5C

next Grimm 31: ‘Are you wearing a dress?’  http://wp.me/p41c99-5S

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

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12 thoughts on ““The Journal of Wall Grimm” 30: Franz Ferdinand, Wall Grimm’s Undies and Estimations, Flower, & Bob

  1. toad (chris jensen)

    So take a break……………………………………..!

  2. “my psychic ability that I often block out because sometimes I have no filter and it’s overwhelming”, I’m curious true, not true?
    Pepper

    • Actually it is, or was. I always had a sense and intuition about people and for some reason it picks up pretty heavily on peoples’ pasts. In my late teens, early twenties, it hit this peak as I delved into it. But then it got to a point where I was too sensitive to other peoples’ energies and I also didn’t want to know so much about them. So I chose to block and filter. Currently, I maintain a general intuition about people, in case I need to use it, mostly for reasons of trust, or safety, or sometimes I know when someone will be calling or if they need me. It pretty much is as Grimm describes it. Do you believe all that? lol

  3. Yes. I wrote a post, called “The Seen and Unseen”, now private, it made me feel vulnerable. Here is one line, “It is ever-present, at times I can quiet it, but at other times it can be very overwhelming.” So when I read your words, wow! I’ve had this odd ball thing since I was a small child, I keep it pretty much to myself. In my search for answers as to the why, still looking. I’m selective as to what I subscribe to, and there are so many thoughts on the subject. Thank you for your time and your reply.
    Pepper

    • Yeah it’s hard to explain to people without some misunderstandings. But I like the way you phrase that, “selective as to what I subscribe to”. That’s perfect. It’s good to have a sense, but there’s no need to know everything we’re capable of knowing. Are you saying that you can’t yet filter to your comfort level? Do you avoid people because of it?

  4. Answer to the first question, yes and no, second question, yes. I want to respond clearly, however I want to be careful with the words that I use so that I will not be “misunderstood”. I’m usually good at filtering, although sometimes I’m absolutely horrible and no good at filtering what I call the “noise”, but very good at compartmentalizing which comes in handy. I have a strong math and science background, so I have to constantly push away the need to understand, and just let it be what it wants to be. That being said, it is up to me to set the boundaries, which is not always easy, because I am curious by nature and at times have a fearless childlike innocence that wants to see where the ride of the moment will take me. Emotions are contagious and linger, leaving their imprint, so I have to be mindful of that, and stay away from places and people that are highly charged. I have always been afraid to share this invisible part of me, who likes to be judged? Okay, if you don’t mind, question for you, you have refer to “the shadow guy”, true, not true?

    Pepper

  5. That’s interesting because I have a psychology background, so I tend to pick up on a lot of trauma and psychological or emotional strife. I’ve found the best way to begin mastering the filter is by first creating a shield which not only blocks it out, but protects you from any kind of influential energy. Then the stronger the field, the more that can be let in and understood, and it’s also more easily controlled since it doesn’t overwhelm you. At this point, if I chose to, I could know a lot more than I do, quite easily, because I have a very strong shield. But I just don’t choose to, because I have no need to. I’d actually prefer not to know anything, because I have the interest in psychology, so it’s more intriguing for me at this point in my life just to have conversations with people, or observe people, and kind of analyze and interpret from a psychological standpoint, rather than to let it all be spelled out for me. And to answer your question, I do have the shadowy guy in the journal, but I’ve never had that kind of experience in real life.

  6. Thank you for your candor. Within your reply, what is a “shield”, and “influential energy” as you refer to those terms? I want you to know that I appreciate your responses, and I realize that this may not be the most appropriate venue to pursue this somewhat unusual topic. By the way, your post this morning, “How Wolves Change Rivers”, was quite moving and heartbreaking, at least for me, thank you for sharing.
    Pepper

    • A shield is like a spiritual energy you can build around yourself so that negativity doesn’t reach you. The negativity is basically the “influential energy”. When peoples’ anger or sadness or any other negative energies reach you, it can affect you, even make you feel ill. And I don’t mind at all having these discussions here, I think it’s great. But if you have other things you want to add or ask that you’d rather not be public, feel free to email me. sagedoyle@yahoo.com But that’s your choice, because like I said, I don’t mind at all. And that video is beautiful, I had to reblog it. Definitely moving and heartbreaking. –Sage

  7. Good song, I know it well. Oh, yeah, two posts.

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