November 8, 2012
My name is Wall Grimm and the meaning of the wall is something I came up with when I was still in high school. And every now and then I use it to get focused. I envision a wall and this wall blocks me from my creativity, insight, psyche, ability, instinct and magical sources. It blocks me from motivation, sometimes I see in front of the wall all the things that distract me and are a diversion from my progress. Things such as drugs, trouble, particular friends, and sex. Yes sex can be an ambition crusher when it distracts you from your goals and becomes its own goal, and sometimes you have sex with the wrong people. I don’t think I need to elaborate on that because people know who the wrong people are when it happens. So a couple months ago I began to use this wall as a tool to break down the barriers. I planned to remove three stones per night until all the stones are gone and I would hold them up and change them into a crow or raven. Crows and ravens are messenger birds able to slip from one veil to the next, so at the time I was thinking maybe they could link me to Kathy, or some spirit that could guide me. But I have two problems:
1. I don’t want to be connected with Kathy anymore because she’s freaking me out, kind of haunting me and the more I try to ignore her, the more she seeks my attention, and I’m feeling more and more invaded between her and the Shadowy son-of-a-bitch. It’s like I feel like I’m on voyeur cam most of the time, getting kind of shy when I want to jerk off.
2. The other problem I have with my technique for overcoming distractions is…all the distractions. Sex, drugs, rock n’ roll (not really rock n’ roll that’s just stupid). Friends, drugs, sex, drugs, sex, friends, drugs. Myself. Enough said.
So I don’t have to work today because Sharly gave me the option to have it off since she would be there all day, and I was just listening to “London Calling” by The Clash, fucking love this song, The Clash is freakin’ awesome. I have to listen to music while I clean, or I just can’t clean. I listen and I sing and dance while I’m cleaning, makes cleaning fun. But here’s an instance when Rock n’ Roll distracted me because I was like, man I love The fucking Clash! And it kind of bugs me that they existed so long ago because I can’t see them in concert. But I stopped cleaning to watch the youtube video.
Then I decided to put in my DVD of “Sid and Nancy.” And now I’m watching that and writing here. And Sirius Black can act man. I think I was a Cockney punk in the 80′s in my past life. So yeah Sid Vicious, Rosencrantz, Lee Harvey Oswald, Dracula, Beethoven, Pontius Pilate, Sirius Black. And he cuts his face off or something in “Hannibal” just a few examples of this guy, Gary Oldman, fucking cool actor.
So this is my evolution based on these few Gary Oldman’s acting roles:
Wall Grimm’s Gary Oldman Evolution
1. punk drug addict
2. philosophical pawn doomed to die
3. assassin of my Superego (when the president is like the Superego, and the country is like the one person being dominated by the Id, like the assassin, it would be the Id who would do it, not like an entire country would be an amalgom or a conglomerate or collective, but…shut up Grimm…moving on)
4. yeah, a vampire, well I talked before about how I wanted to be a vampire because it was death but not quite suicide, and the impaling bit goes too deep (pun) for me to feel motivated to get into right here and now
5. attempting to compose my life and going mad in the process
6. condemns my own spirit to a long, slow death
7. cuts off my own face, removes the old mask (oldman mask)
8. ESCAPES FROM AZKABAN!!!
(we won’t talk about the slipping through the veil or anything like that, because I’m still in denial about that)
And it would be cool to shapeshift into a big black dog that…hey! Just now realized, Harry Potter mistakes the dog for a GRIM. Damn that’s freaky, ok I need to get high now. I’m going to grab myself a beer, smoke some pot, wish I had other stuff but I can’t keep it here. If it’s here I do it all right away, pot is the only thing that lasts for me. So I call Dave to have him bring me some more shit-coke, and I know he has opium, and whatever fun little pills he might have today. And as I wait for him to get here, I watch more “Sid and Nancy”
WALL GRIMM’S VERY RARE FB POSTS, WHILE WATCHING “SID & NANCY”:
“My Way” by Sirius Vicious, Sid Black, Gary Oldman (Sid Black is actually a cool name, sounds like a cowboy, like the kind of Clint Eastwood sort of cowboy)
And The one and only Sid Vicious
Drugs and Rock n’ Roll now resume distracting me. All I need is sex. Don’t we all.
previous Grimm 27: The Spider Bite, Internet Searches, & Wall Grimm the Bad Employee Needs a Spanking http://wp.me/p41c99-5m
next Grimm 29: Ayla, The Harmonica, The Pitcher of Beer, Pete, & Grimm’s A**hole http://wp.me/p41c99-5C
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