November 4, 2012
Matilda met me at 8:00 then we went out for coffee. You know, I drank plenty of coffee Thursday, but drinking it with her was nicer. However, I had the wrong idea about her. I thought maybe she was the type to get high, but she’s not at all, she’s so clean and healthy like Emma. So I was really kind of fidgety and in need of some significant mind altering, mood enhancing, brain numbing, blood soothing substance. She mistook my unease with horniness, go figure. The need for drugs and the desire for sex both make for an affect of a similar exhibition, the same hungry dog constrained from begging kind of disposition.
Though she’s a clean girl, turns out she’s as naughty as I was hoping, but a little naughtier than I’m used to. I fidgeted and she scooted her chair closer to me and started squeezing my balls under the table, squeezing in a nice way and rubbing. Two seconds later, I was hard as a rock, 3 seconds after that, I could have cum but didn’t because we were in public. I could have cum also because we were in public and it was a thrill and nothing ever happened to me like that before, unless I was drunk and don’t remember. She knew what she was doing because she smirked at me then leaned into kiss me. I like tongue rings, but not just for kissing. She said “why you holding back?” And I think she actually wanted me to cum in my pants in front of about fifty people. Problem is, I’m not discreet when I cum, I kind of moan and breathe and maybe sometimes I say “oh yeah” or “oh my god.” So yeah, it would have been obvious. I stood and grabbed her by the hand, led her out and I said “you want to go to my place?” but she pulled me in back of the building, pushed me against the wall, kissed me, pulled my pants down, got on her knees and used the tongue ring in another way I like, then before I came, and after other clothing adjustments and position manipulations, all in her lead, she fucked me against the wall, with one leg raised up on one side of me with her combat boot pushing against the wall. After we each came, as she was fixing herself up, I was like, “well what do you want to do now?” She said, that she didn’t want to do anything now, she was done with me and was moving on, she got what she wanted. I was like “what??” She said she only gets off if she has it spontaneously with strangers, so she only wanted sex. I was like, “so you just used me for sex and you’re gonna move on to the next guy?” yep. what the fuck.
I thought she seemed really cool, so I was like well don’t you want to hang out, that would be cool. She said, “shut up Grimm” and walked away. I’m not such a hungry dog that I will ever beg for anything so I let her walk away. I walked in the other direction to go find Dave so he could fuck up my consciousness with some hard core shit because I’m sick of being responsible, or I was for the evening. Well I just got home from Dave’s, I think it’s Sunday, and I don’t remember anything from the moment I arrived there up until about an hour ago as I was walking home. I missed work on Friday. I know this because I just heard my messages and Sharly called me several times. Her voice went through these stages:
So I guess I should call her back and hope I still have a job. I feel too ashamed to face Emma, yet she probably doesn’t know about any of this. Unless, of course, I was a fucking idiot who called her while I was out of my freaking mind.
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