October 3, 2012
I got a call and didn’t get the job. Of course not. I went into the interview with a face like rotten meat after my bar fight. And Emma finally called, she’s coming over later. She said, “Why haven’t you called me?” I said, “Why haven’t you called me?” She said, “I thought you were mad at me.” I said, “I thought you were mad at me.” She said, “You goof,” and I felt like one. So I guess that takes care of that. I still want to get in her pants, but I guess I won’t, even if she makes the first move.
I couldn’t pay rent so my landlord has made me the go-to guy. I do whatever he’s too lazy to do, or takes too long to get around doing. Basically stuff I’m too lazy to do and will take too long getting around doing. Like raking leaves. I hate raking leaves because the sound of the rake on pavement gives me the worse chills. As a Sicilian, I was taught a strong work ethic, that’s why I’m trying to get a job. Sometimes other shit gets in the way of responsibility. But hopefully I’ll have a job before it snows so I won’t have to shovel.
Now I’d like to say some things about myself. It’s a list and I think it’s pretty cool. It’s not in any order of importance or significance and good isn’t stated with bad or whatever. I’ll categorize but it’s pretty much stream of thought and I may leave things out. That said, here goes…my name is Wall Grimm and this is my list:
WALL GRIMM’S LIST
I’ve been all over the US including Hawaii but not Alaska, I’ve been to Mexico,Canada, Scotland, and the Bahamas. I’ve lived in Boston, Salem, New York, Florida, at camp grounds, friends’ places, with other families, and I’ve been homeless. I’ve slept behind buildings, in hostels, hospitals, in apartments, flats, studios, attics, basements, closets, on couches, floors, in houses, dorms, hotels, motels, caves, by rivers, oceans, beneath trees, in trees, parks, public restrooms, strangers’ beds, mud, in the back rooms of bars, beneath tables, on the floor by toilets, grass, pavement, libraries, schools, trains, buses, planes, cars, trucks, in trash, in filth, in oppression, in piles of laundry….
I’ve eaten squid, shark, alligator, chipmunk, squirrel, bugs, spiders, things I picked in the woods, gum, drugs, deer, swordfish, tofu, glue, play dough, soap, poison, poisonous mushrooms, hallucinogenic mushrooms, wood, fingernails, sand, dirt, mud, plastic, paint, pie, and pussy…
I’ve known criminals, drug dealers, prostitutes, junkies, hippies, punks, bikers, pagans, losers, winners, homeless, rich, poor, the middleclass, politicians, I did cocaine with a cop and that’s another story all together, priests, Buddhists, Catholics, bohemians, pastors, priestesses, Wiccans, Muslims, Jews, Evangelicals, Protestants, Atheists, Agnostics, Shamans, students, gypsies, teachers, firemen, EMTs, gays, lesbians, transvestites, transgendereds, bisexuals, musicians, singers, dentists, Native Americans, doctors, assholes, law abiding citizens, magicians, philosophers, artists, painters, writers, photographers, sculptors, dancers, carnivores, omnivores, vegetarians, vegans, anorexics…I’ve known people from Haiti, Brazil, Guatemala, Japan, Russia, Italy, Sicily (don’t get Italy and Sicily confused), Germany, Denmark, Holland, England, Ireland, Scotland, Greece, Mexico, Canada, the Bahamas, Uganda, Egypt, Pakistan, India, France, Costa Rica, Spain, Thailand, Indonesia, Wales, St. John, Laos, Korea, Cambodia, Vietnam, Iran, Uruguay, South Africa, Australia, Iraq, New Zealand, Colombia, Puerto Rico… people with cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, scoliosis, heart disease, obesity, high cholesterol, personality disorder, schizophrenia, depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, high IQ’s, cognitively impaired people–either born that way or made that way from drugs, addictions, fetishes, criminal records, lupus, paralysis, amputations, cirrhosis, aids, eczema, hand foot and mouth disease, bad breath…
Yeah that’s a big list and I know I missed tons of stuff, but maybe I’ll add more at a later time. Things like hairdressers and nose pickers just go without saying. If I missed anyone else, I don’t have the best memory, but I also haven’t met all kinds of people. This is just a very small list. Maybe I haven’t met you yet, and maybe one day I will. Then I can add you to my list. But it’s a pretty cool world and if I was in supreme power, I would drop a global pot bomb that would get us all high so we can just laugh and existentialize together. I never think of distinctions as anything but shit to contemplate and think is cool. I like anything that is different from me and the life I have known, and that’s a lot of shit and a lot of people.
previous Grimm 11: Grimm, Emma, Ankhs, & Vampires http://wp.me/p41c99-3N
next Grimm 13: The Rave, the Cab Ride, & the Girl with the Green in Her Hair http://wp.me/p41c99-3Z
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