October 1, 2012
My name was once Valente Grimani. At 18 I changed my name to Wall Grimm. Since I’ve known my best friend Emma, she has always called me Grimm, from my last name Grimani and because I’m kind of grim at times. I’ve known her for 9 years since I was 14 and I’ve been grim the whole time, Grimm for 5 years.
A little more about Ankhs: They are a similar form to the doll of the Ashanti tribe of Ghana in West Africa. The doll was carried by children or attached to the backs of the skirts of women who hoped for fertility or healthy childbirth. A large head, which would be the loop of the Ankh represented great beauty, which is interesting since like I said before the Ankh by some was thought to depict a hand mirror. I’m on the side of it that knows it’s life and breath and all that shit I already said.
So anyway I imagine the children carrying these incredible handmade dolls and little dolls with so much power for the women. The children here never learn symbols or significance. I always wanted significance and I search for it. That makes me grim. Because I’m not satisfied with the way of the world. My friends don’t give a shit, so I don’t talk to them about it. I write it down here. Then I get high to forget about it. And I used to be suicidal because of it. But that’s stupid because we’re a privileged society. Many people in the world are too busy trying to survive to bother with thoughts of suicide.
The fight to overcome and survive can be painful. So when I met Emma I was obsessed with vampires and I used to want to be one. I used to actually pray to God so I would become a vampire. Is that fucking stupid or what. It was because I wanted to die yet some part of me wanted to cling onto life. Suicide wasn’t satisfying enough. I needed to have that bit of life that wouldn’t hurt, that I could control, that I could be a part of but not participate in. As a vampire I could be a fly on the wall, I could be like an animal or a human, whichever I was in the mood to be and whenever I chose that. I could hide and reveal myself as I pleased. I could have power and control. And no one would ever hurt me. Because I wouldn’t be one of those stupid vampires that get caught, so no one would ever know, and no one would try to kill me.
Now I’m sick of hearing about vampires, so fuck that. Things I like tend to piss me off once they become a trend.
previous Grimm 10: Troubled Kids, Teddy Bears, & The Shadowy Guy http://wp.me/p41c99-3G
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