“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 11: Grimm, Emma, Ankhs, & Vampires

October 1, 2012

My name was once Valente Grimani.  At 18 I changed my name to Wall Grimm.  Since I’ve known my best friend Emma, she has always called me Grimm, from my last name Grimani and because I’m kind of grim at times.  I’ve known her for 9 years since I was 14 and I’ve been grim the whole time, Grimm for 5 years.

A little more about Ankhs:  They are a similar form to the doll of the Ashanti tribe of Ghana in West Africa.  The doll was carried by children or attached to the backs of the skirts of women who hoped for fertility or healthy childbirth.  A large head, which would be the loop of the Ankh represented great beauty, which is interesting since like I said before the Ankh by some was thought to depict a hand mirror.  I’m on the side of it that knows it’s life and breath and all that shit I already said.

So anyway I imagine the children carrying these incredible handmade dolls and little dolls with so much power for the women.  The children here never learn symbols or significance.  I always wanted significance and I search for it.  That makes me grim.  Because I’m not satisfied with the way of the world.  My friends don’t give a shit, so I don’t talk to them about it.  I write it down here.  Then I get high to forget about it.  And I used to be suicidal because of it.  But that’s stupid because we’re a privileged society.  Many people in the world are too busy trying to survive to bother with thoughts of suicide.

The fight to overcome and survive can be painful.  So when I met Emma I was obsessed with vampires and I used to want to be one.  I used to actually pray to God so I would become a vampire.  Is that fucking stupid or what.  It was because I wanted to die yet some part of me wanted to cling onto life.  Suicide wasn’t satisfying enough. I needed to have that bit of life that wouldn’t hurt, that I could control, that I could be a part of but not participate in.  As a vampire I could be a fly on the wall, I could be like an animal or a human, whichever I was in the mood to be and whenever I chose that.  I could hide and reveal myself as I pleased.  I could have power and control.  And no one would ever hurt me.  Because I wouldn’t be one of those stupid vampires that get caught, so no one would ever know, and no one would try to kill me.

Now I’m sick of hearing about vampires, so fuck that.  Things I like tend to piss me off once they become a trend.

*******

previous Grimm 10: Troubled Kids, Teddy Bears, & The Shadowy Guy http://wp.me/p41c99-3G

next Grimm 12: Emma, The Landlord, & Wall Grimm’s List http://wp.me/p41c99-3U

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 1-25 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

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23 thoughts on ““The Journal of Wall Grimm” 11: Grimm, Emma, Ankhs, & Vampires

  1. Desiree G

    You stated that some of this was taken from personal journals. Does that include the talk of suicide? Please tell me to go drown in a sea if you would prefer not to answer!! ;)

    • No I don’t mind. Yes, I’ve been suicidal, but I’m not anymore. The part about the vampires in this is true, what I really wished for then.

      • Desiree G

        I never thought about before now, but the vampire part makes a lot of sense. Especially for someone like me who has control issues!!
        I had a friend that was bipolar — suicide was something he thought about a lot.

        • I think you’ve read about Kathy, she’s based on a real person, a friend of mine committed suicide. The dreams are real dreams I had.

          • Desiree G

            Do you still have the dreams?

          • Not for a while. Lately I never dream anymore. Kind of disappointing, because when I dream they’re definitely stuff to write about. …And I’m getting off line for the night, but if you leave anymore comments, I’ll answer everything tomorrow. I love having comments ;) Have a good night Desiree.

          • Desiree G

            Thank you … Looks like I have plenty of material to keep me busy until I fall asleep. I would say sweet dreams, but ……

          • lol yeah, no dreams last night either.

          • Desiree G

            I slept fitfully but only because I went to bed with a writing unfinished — a writing that was actually inspired by Grimm’s journal entry about the ocean.

          • If you post it on your blog, let me know. I’ll link it up on my Sage Doyle blog (which has more followers), linking this post too, if you want.

          • Desiree G

            Please, please do not feel obligated to link it to your blog. It just struck a chord with me last night — and since I have saline blood, I couldn’t resist it! :)

          • No, I’d be glad to. Unless you don’t want me to. Saline blood, hmmm. Would that cause a vampire to have hypertension?

          • Desiree G

            I will leave that decision up to you. My feelings won’t be hurt if you don’t. This IS my first week in attempting poetry. I’m sure I’m not up to your standards, yet. ;)

            I haven’t ever had an opportunity to be bitten by a vampire. But I certainly hope my blood wouldn’t be bad for him. I would hate to weaken him in that way.

          • Just let me know when it’s up and I’ll do it then. And how considerate you are of the well being of vampires lol

          • Desiree G

            Well, I have a secret crush on Eric Northman from True Blood — I want to hurt him but not in that way! :)

            It is up. It is called In Her Eyes. Don’t link it unless you REALLY like it. Promise?

          • I’ve never seen True Blood and I don’t know who he is, and I won’t ask what you mean by hurting him lol Going to have a look at your poem now…

          • I reblogged it on my other blog because this one’s new so it has less of a following. It’s beautiful.

          • Desiree G

            Thank you. I am glad you liked it but I still don’t think it did justice to the scene you created here. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to capture that feeling.

          • I think you captured it and built off of it. But I know it’s hard to have a clear perspective of your own work sometimes.

  2. Gary Oldman played a vampire once. So did Pee Wee Herman. But my favorite is Evil Ed.

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