September 25, 2012
Emma and I have been best friends since high school. We’ve always had our own group of friends. She doesn’t fit with my group, I don’t fit with hers. It’s still like that. So when we hang out, it’s just the two of us. This makes things complicated for me sometimes because she’s really cute and I struggle to maintain the boundaries of friendship. She says she likes that about me, so I have to keep up that facade. She says she likes that I just treat her like a friend and I’m not always trying to get in her pants like other guys do. She’s probably convinced I don’t want to get in her pants ’cause I guess I’m a good actor.
I want to get in her pants.
Anyway, this is what just happened and now I’m writing it down:
We were hanging out and we were watching a movie. We like Mystery Science Theatre 3000 so we were kinda MST3K-ing the movie and were laughing so hard. After a bout of laughter, she said, “You are too funny, you’re adorable.” And yeah, I liked that she said that.
Then she looked at me and got real quiet. I wasn’t sure what that silence meant so I just looked back at her. She started to look real serious. It was awkward but intense. I kind of leaned forward, I wanted to kiss her, and then I pulled back. I hoped she didn’t notice. Then she dove in and started kissing me. I kissed back and it was really passionate, I brought her down onto her back and moved kind of on top of her. I got hard instantly, she’s so hot, I’ve wanted to fuck her since I first saw her in algebra class. It’s why I got F’s that year.
Anyway, so she starts rubbing me over my pants and then she undoes my pants and sticks her hand in the front of my underwear. I’m kissing her and I find a way to get under her shirt and I slide down one side of her bra and start at her nipple. I’m ready to explode I’m so hard. Then she puts her hand on my chest and says “Wait, no, stop.”
What the hell. I say, “No, don’t say that.” And I start kissing her again. She kisses me back briefly then says, “No, we can’t.” I’m kissing her neck kind of ignoring her and I press myself between her legs, I say, “Why?”
Then she pushes me harder. I’m still kind of on her but leaning up more and really surprised so I just look at her. She says, “Grimm, stop!”
I say “But–”
Then she slaps my face really hard, it still stings. She gets up, fixes her shirt, grabs her shit and leaves. So now I’m like what the hell. I mean I was just in the passion of the moment. I wasn’t going to make her do anything she didn’t want to do. It just takes me a little longer to stop, because I need to gradually stop, slow down, ease up, then it sinks in I need to stop. She just stopped immediately while I was in a flow. I would’ve definitely stopped. I don’t get it. And I don’t think I did anything wrong to deserve a slap. In fact, I did stop after she pushed me like that. I stopped and she just slapped me for no reason. I mean, of course I respect her, I’ve known her since I was 14, that was 9 years ago. I never once made a move on her. Now I wonder if I haven’t lost my best friend. She’s the only one who really knows me.
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