“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 1: The Meaning of Wall & Grimm’s Friend Kathy

I used to be Valente Grimani.  At 18 I legally changed my name.  I’m 23 now.  My mother brings me from a heritage of Siciliani Romani.  My father comes from a family of prosperity left behind generations ago.  My name is Wall Grimm and the following pages are the recorded evidence of my existence.

September 6, 2012

Breaking down the mental wall that blocks me from my creativity, insight, psyche, ability, instinct and magical sources. I began this past evening by visualizing the wall as a definite solid structure.  A stone wall.  Each night I shall remove only three stones until the wall is gone.  One at a time I remove a stone and hold it up and transfer it into a crow or a raven.  Each bird stays with me for they are my allies.  They will guide me, as messengers from the other world, on my path to slowly discover and awaken to all my abilities.

September 7, 2012

I dreamed about Kathy again last night.  The other dreams I’ve had of her recently, we were surrounded by our friends and I was the only one who knew she was there.  She mentioned Morgan last time.  I think Kathy wanted me to talk to her, give her a message.  But she just sat with me, very close, holding my hand affectionately and gently kissing me on my head, being sweet and close.

The dream I had last night, once again we were surrounded by our friends and the one she seemed to want to talk to was Jay.  Once again no one seemed to acknowledge Kathy’s presence.  Jay seemed to, but vaguely, as if he didn’t know she was truly there.  She was being close and affectionate again.  Almost as if she was my girlfriend which seemed curious then, but now I realize that even though our relationship was never as close when she was alive as when I now dream of her, she is quite lonely and I believe that perhaps I am the only one who can connect with her in this spiritual realm.  Even if the others dream of her, they believe it is just a dream and I know that my dreams of her are real.  Kathy is really with me.

In this dream we held each other, mostly she held me.  At one point I had fallen asleep and I awoke to find she was gone.  Floating above me was a bouquet of flowers or dried flowers or herbs, my memory on this isn’t clear.  I think it was probably herbs.  When she returned, I asked her why she committed suicide and she didn’t answer but her eyes told me she was sad.  I wanted then to ask her what it was like to be dead or if she regretted it, but the words never formed.  I realized she knew my questions and without saying a word, she communicated to me that she was lonely.  I almost told her that I’ve felt suicidal at times too, but she seemed to know I was thinking that as well, and telepathically or somehow, she didn’t want to hear this and changed the subject.  I love her and care about her so much and I think through our new spiritual relationship, she’s realized this.  Though she is lonely because I am the only one who acknowledges it is really her.  I am with Kathy on another realm, and she is not just an image formed by my psyche.  I think if Jay dreams of her, he probably wants to know it’s her, but there is some blockage.  I want to see if there is something I can do to heal her despair.  It is beautiful when I dream of her, though I still sense her sadness.  She enjoys our closeness and our connection.  I hope it’s not the only connection she has.

*******

Next Grimm 2: Shadow Worms in the Rain http://wp.me/p41c99-2U

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

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Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 1-25 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 63 Comments

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63 thoughts on ““The Journal of Wall Grimm” 1: The Meaning of Wall & Grimm’s Friend Kathy

  1. Reblogged this on J T Weaver and commented:
    I love the discovery of new writing. While this writing is rated (R) 18+ and not the usual genre you find here, I hope you will give it a chance. There are many parts to this “Journal,” each with its own special characteristics.

  2. Just stopping by to say…*YOUR PAGE IS LIVE* on my Writer/Book Blog! Page titled *This Weeks Guest*….Hope I did you well! http://www.simplesite.com/CatherineLyonAddictedToDimes Let me know if you need any changes my friend :-) *Author, Catherine Lyon* :-)
    My email tomcatt59@yahoo.com :-)

  3. Reblogged this on "The Journal of Wall Grimm" and commented:

    I was busy yesterday, and I am busy today, but I will not let my blog get lost in the wasteland again, so I’m reblogging the very first Grimm post, and may choose to continue to reblog the older posts on occasion, on behalf of newer readers. Take care, Sage

  4. That was deep and moving and very nearly alive…

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