Monthly Archives: October 2013

Wall Grimm’s Ankh

My name is Wall Grimm and I like Ankhs.  This is a real one from Ancient Egypt.

Photo by Wall Grimm.

Within the papyrus of Ani, Ankh rises from the Djed, the spine of Osiris, god of death and resurrection.  The Djed was a symbol that was supposed to ensure stability for the dead, but it was worn by the living too.  It might’ve been believed to enforce the stability once a person died, because a person dwelled with the gods until it was time for the spirit to be reborn through reincarnation.  The Ankh guaranteed a safe passage and stable resurrection.  Also, having the amulet of this backbone could have enabled a person to retain consciousness while passing from one realm of existence to the next, making the person able to remember past lives.  In the papyrus of Ani, where Ankh, life is described as emerging from the Djed column, this belief makes sense.  The arms of Ankh in this image could represent the horizon, as the Egyptians believed the horizon to be the place between Heaven and Earth.  This horizon supports the solar disk, which is the god Ra birthed and embarking on his journey resulting in death, the setting of the sun in the form of the god Tem.  Death and rebirth.

I think it would be so awesome to remember past lives.  But then again, how much choice would we have, what lives and what parts of our lives to remember?  It could be complicated and make a person crazy.  I go crazy enough just remembering some of my past, let alone a past life

Categories: RANDOM GRIMM-NESS | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 28: The Wall, The Clash, & Wall Grimm’s Gary Oldman Evolution

November 8, 2012

My name is Wall Grimm and the meaning of the wall is something I came up with when I was still in high school.  And every now and then I use it to get focused.  I envision a wall and this wall blocks me from my creativity, insight, psyche, ability, instinct and magical sources.  It blocks me from motivation, sometimes I see in front of the wall all the things that distract me and are a diversion from my progress.  Things such as drugs, trouble, particular friends, and sex.  Yes sex can be an ambition crusher when it distracts you from your goals and becomes its own goal, and sometimes you have sex with the wrong people.  I don’t think I need to elaborate on that because people know who the wrong people are when it happens.  So a couple months ago I began to use this wall as a tool to break down the barriers.  I planned to remove three stones per night until all the stones are gone and I would hold them up and change them into a crow or raven.  Crows and ravens are messenger birds able to slip from one veil to the next, so at the time I was thinking maybe they could link me to Kathy, or some spirit that could guide me.  But I have two problems:

1.  I don’t want to be connected with Kathy anymore because she’s freaking me out, kind of haunting me and the more I try to ignore her, the more she seeks my attention, and I’m feeling more and more invaded between her and the Shadowy son-of-a-bitch.  It’s like I feel like I’m on voyeur cam most of the time, getting kind of shy when I want to jerk off.

2.  The other problem I have with my technique for overcoming distractions is…all the distractions.  Sex, drugs, rock n’ roll (not really rock n’ roll that’s just stupid).  Friends, drugs, sex, drugs, sex, friends, drugs.  Myself.  Enough said.

So I don’t have to work today because Sharly gave me the option to have it off since she would be there all day, and I was just listening to “London Calling” by The Clash, fucking love this song, The Clash is freakin’ awesome.  I have to listen to music while I clean, or I just can’t clean.  I listen and I sing and dance while I’m cleaning, makes cleaning fun.  But here’s an instance when Rock n’ Roll distracted me because I was like, man I love The fucking Clash!  And it kind of bugs me that they existed so long ago because I can’t see them in concert.  But I stopped cleaning to watch the youtube video.

Then I decided to put in my DVD of “Sid and Nancy.”  And now I’m watching that and writing here.  And Sirius Black can act man.  I think I was a Cockney punk in the 80′s in my past life.  So yeah Sid Vicious, Rosencrantz, Lee Harvey Oswald, Dracula, Beethoven, Pontius Pilate, Sirius Black.  And he cuts his face off or something in “Hannibal” just a few examples of this guy, Gary Oldman, fucking cool actor.

So this is my evolution based on these few Gary Oldman’s acting roles:

Wall Grimm’s Gary Oldman Evolution

1. punk drug addict

2. philosophical pawn doomed to die

3. assassin of my Superego (when the president is like the Superego, and the country is like the one person being dominated by the Id, like the assassin, it would be the Id who would do it, not like an entire country would be an amalgom or a conglomerate or collective, but…shut up Grimm…moving on)

4. yeah, a vampire, well I talked before about how I wanted to be a vampire because it was death but not quite suicide, and the impaling bit goes too deep (pun) for me to feel motivated to get into right here and now

5. attempting to compose my life and going mad in the process

6. condemns my own spirit to a long, slow death

7. cuts off my own face, removes the old mask (oldman mask)

8. ESCAPES FROM AZKABAN!!!

(we won’t talk about the slipping through the veil or anything like that, because I’m still in denial about that)

And it would be cool to shapeshift into a big black dog that…hey!  Just now realized, Harry Potter mistakes the dog for a GRIM.  Damn that’s freaky, ok I need to get high now.  I’m going to grab myself a beer, smoke some pot, wish I had other stuff but I can’t keep it here.  If it’s here I do it all right away, pot is the only thing that lasts for me.  So I call Dave to have him bring me some more shit-coke, and I know he has opium, and whatever fun little pills he might have today.  And as I wait for him to get here, I watch more “Sid and Nancy”

********

WALL GRIMM’S VERY RARE FB POSTS, WHILE WATCHING “SID & NANCY”:

“My Way” by Sirius Vicious, Sid Black, Gary Oldman (Sid Black is actually a cool name, sounds like a cowboy, like the kind of Clint Eastwood sort of cowboy)

And The one and only Sid Vicious

Drugs and Rock n’ Roll now resume distracting me.  All I need is sex.  Don’t we all.

*******

previous Grimm  27: The Spider Bite, Internet Searches, & Wall Grimm the Bad Employee Needs a Spanking  http://wp.me/p41c99-5m

next Grimm 29: Ayla, The Harmonica, The Pitcher of Beer, Pete, & Grimm’s A**hole http://wp.me/p41c99-5C

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 27: The Spider Bite, Internet Searches, & Wall Grimm the Bad Employee Needs a Spanking

November 6, 2012

Last night I think I was bitten by a spider.  I have three little bumps on my stomach.  It was either a giant spider with three huge fangs, or a little spider with tiny fangs that pack a punch and bit me three times.  Whatever.  I’m debating whether or not to vote today.  I’m at work right now, I wasn’t fired from skipping out Friday and not getting back to Sharly until Sunday.  I was honest.  I said this girl messed with my head and then I got all fucked up with my friend and lost track of time and sense of obligation.  She said she’s been there herself so she was was understanding which was cool.  But it’s partially not cool because I might eventually take advantage knowing I can.  Then, at some point, I’ll have pushed the limits one time too many and she’ll let me go and I’ll have never seen it coming.

About voting, I’ve been too self absorbed to follow the issues except for the ones thrown in my face, so I’m wondering if an ignorant vote is worse than no vote at all so I’m not sure.  I think I’ll talk to Sharly and get her opinion and I like the way she thinks so maybe I’ll ask her whom she’s voting for and I’ll vote the same way.  But two things before I move onto the next subject: 1. I’m sorry imaginary journal reading people that I brought politics into my journal.  2. Yes, even in my journal I will write ‘whom’ unless the mood lends for a disregard of grammar.

Speaking of whom, or whatever, I went on line and typed into the search “who” “what” “when” “where” “how” “why” and these are the search options I got from auto complete:

WHO:  whole foods, who won debate, who won rose bowl 2012, who knew, who won the debate, whoopi goldberg, costco wholesale, doctor who, who wants to be a millionaire, bj’s wholesale club

WHAT:  what its kony 2012, what is 2011 nfl lockout, what does chupacabra mean, what is the debt ceiling, whastmyip, what are capers, what is a sinkhole, whataburger, whats new pussycat, what’s on tv

WHEN:  when daylight savings ends, when does big brother 2011 start, when to work, when is easter 2012, when was jesus born, when do you ovulate, when downloading is legal, when will i get my tax rebate check, when i grow up lyrics, when is daylight savings 2012

HOW:  how to tie a tie, howard stern, how do you know, how much water to drink daily, how to make chloroform, how many calories in a banana, how to crochet, how to get a passport, how i met your mother, how to draw

WHERE:  where to vote, where’s my refund, where to buy spanx, where can i watch movies online for free, where are they now, where the wild things are, wheresgeorge, where are fireworks tonight, where can i buy a wii, where’s waldo

WHY:  why is facebook not working, why do ladybugs have spots, why doesn, why can, why are manhole covers round, why is nfl lockout, why why love, why is the sky blue, why so serious, why marriages fail

WALL GRIMM’S FAVORITES: who knew, whoopi goldberg, dr who (I like Dr. Who, Dr. Who is cool) what does chupacabra mean, whataburger, whats new pussycat, when to work (why would someone look this up online is what I want to know), when do you ovulate, how do you know, how to make chloroform (really? that’s some scary mother fucker, FBI flagged maybe?), how many calories in a banana (does anyone really care? anorexic, maybe?) how to draw (as if they’re going to get a simple answer: get a piece of paper, grab a fucking pencil, put the pencil to the paper and…), where to buy spanx (because I have no idea what spanx are, if they are even real), where are they now (who?), where’s waldo ( I was hoping this one would turn up), ok these two: why doesn (not my mistake that was actually the search) and why can (….what?), and lastly, gotta love ‘why so serious’ because yeah Heath Ledger was cool, may he rest in peace.

Anyway, slow day at work, that’s how I just spent my last hour, guess I should do some kind of something efficient.  Bad employee needs a spanking.  Sharly?

*******

previous Grimm 26: Matilda, Uses of a Tongue Ring, & Missing Work http://wp.me/p41c99-5i

next Grimm 28: The Wall, The Clash, & Wall Grimm’s Gary Oldman Evolution http://wp.me/p41c99-5q

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 26: Matilda, Uses of a Tongue Ring, & Missing Work

November 4, 2012

Matilda met me at 8:00 then we went out for coffee.  You know, I drank plenty of coffee Thursday, but drinking it with her was nicer.  However, I had the wrong idea about her.  I thought maybe she was the type to get high, but she’s not at all, she’s so clean and healthy like Emma.  So I was really kind of fidgety and in need of some significant mind altering, mood enhancing, brain numbing, blood soothing substance.  She mistook my unease with horniness, go figure.  The need for drugs and the desire for sex both make for an affect of a similar exhibition, the same hungry dog constrained from begging kind of disposition.

Though she’s a clean girl, turns out she’s as naughty as I was hoping, but a little naughtier than I’m used to.  I fidgeted and she scooted her chair closer to me and started squeezing my balls under the table, squeezing in a nice way and rubbing.  Two seconds later, I was hard as a rock, 3 seconds after that, I could have cum but didn’t because we were in public. I could have cum also because we were in public and it was a thrill and nothing ever happened to me like that before, unless I was drunk and don’t remember.  She knew what she was doing because she smirked at me then leaned into kiss me.  I like tongue rings, but not just for kissing.  She said “why you holding back?”  And I think she actually wanted me to cum in my pants in front of about fifty people.  Problem is, I’m not discreet when I cum, I kind of moan and breathe and maybe sometimes I say “oh yeah” or “oh my god.”  So yeah, it would have been obvious.  I stood and grabbed her by the hand, led her out and I said “you want to go to my place?” but she pulled me in back of the building, pushed me against the wall, kissed me, pulled my pants down, got on her knees and used the tongue ring in another way I like, then before I came, and after other clothing adjustments and position manipulations, all in her lead, she fucked me against the wall, with one leg raised up on one side of me with her combat boot pushing against the wall.  After we each came, as she was fixing herself up, I was like, “well what do you want to do now?”  She said, that she didn’t want to do anything now, she was done with me and was moving on, she got what she wanted.  I was like “what??”  She said she only gets off if she has it spontaneously with strangers, so she only wanted sex.  I was like, “so you just used me for sex and you’re gonna move on to the next guy?”  yep. what the fuck.

I thought she seemed really cool, so I was like well don’t you want to hang out, that would be cool.  She said, “shut up Grimm” and walked away.  I’m not such a hungry dog that I will ever beg for anything so I let her walk away.  I walked in the other direction to go find Dave so he could fuck up my consciousness with some hard core shit because I’m sick of being responsible, or I was for the evening.  Well I just got home from Dave’s, I think it’s Sunday, and I don’t remember anything from the moment I arrived there up until about an hour ago as I was walking home.  I missed work on Friday.  I know this because I just heard my messages and Sharly called me several times.  Her voice went through these stages:

1. Curious

2. Bewildered

3. Annoyed

4. Perturbed

5. Disturbed

6. Frustrated

7. Angry

8. Confused

9. Concerned

10. Desperate

So I guess I should call her back and hope I still have a job.  I feel too ashamed to face Emma, yet she probably doesn’t know about any of this.  Unless, of course, I was a fucking idiot who called her while I was out of my freaking mind.

********

previous Grimm 25: The Girl with the Tongue Ring http://wp.me/p41c99-5e

next Grimm 27: The Spider Bite, Internet Searches, & Wall Grimm the Bad Employee Needs a Spanking http://wp.me/p41c99-5m

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 26-50 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 25: The Girl with the Tongue Ring

November 1, 2012

This girl came into the book store.  She had really really tight pink pants and combat boots.  Her hair was shaved up to her eyebrow level and her hair was straight, long over the shaved bit to the nape of her neck, but part of it was up in a pony tail.  It was blue with blonde streaks.  She had 3 earrings in each ear, a nose ring, lip ring, and an eye brow ring.  She had a little daisy tattoo beside her eye.  She had a tattoo of daisies, looking like they were falling from her neck down her shoulder blade and her arm to her elbow.  I saw the tattoo because she took off her hoodie when she came in.  She had a grey tank underneath and no bra.  Nice.  She was skinny and had nice tits, small, but I like when they’re all nipple.  She wrapped the sweatshirt around her waist which kind of sucked because she had a sweet ass.  But yeah, I sound like a pervert, really she seemed cool anyway.

I kind of watched her a little when she wasn’t obscured by the stacks.  She came up to pay for Nietzsche.  Her eyes were so green and her fingernails had X’s on them from a black Sharpee.  She paid for the book and as she put her sweatshirt back on I said, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Her lack of response gave me the cue to continue.

“Do you have a tongue ring?”

She half snarled, half smirked and stuck out her tongue.  Yeah, she did.

“I like tongue rings.”

She stared at me then took out her cell.  Without taking her eyes from her phone she said, “What’s your name?”

“Grimm.”

“Grimm.  That’s your name?”

“Yeah.  Grimm.”

“As in the brothers?”

“Yeah kinda.”

“Give me your number Grimm.”

So I did.  Then she called my cell and I took it out.

She said, “See that number?  When you see that number it’s me calling.  So answer it.”

“Yeah no problem.”

One minute after she walked out of the store, she called.  I answered.

She said, “Hey remember me?  I’m just walking by your store and it made me think of you.”

I looked out the front window and she was slowly strolling by.  Damn she’s cute.

“Is that so.”

“Yeah so you wanna hang out?”

“Oh yeah.  I get off at 8.”

“Yeah you will.”

“Nice.”

And that was how I met Matilda.  She was named after the Matilda as in Roald Dahl.  It’s almost 8 and she’s coming back to meet me.  Don’t know where we’re going or what’s going to happen, but yeah, I like surprises.

********

previous Grimm 24: Captain Grimm http://wp.me/p41c99-59

next Grimm 26: Matilda, Uses of a Tongue Ring, & Missing Work http://wp.me/p41c99-5i

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 1-25 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 24: Captain Grimm

November 1, 2012

Captain Grimm had too much to drink

Captain Grimm is on the brink

Captain Grimm can’t even think

of anything else that rhymes with drink

and he doesn’t know of a shanty song

he’s kind of a pirate but he belongs

more with a caravan traveling long

and far, and not in a car

yeah he’s a little drunk

a fucking little punk

writing a dumb poem in the third person

*******

previous Grimm 23: Samhain http://wp.me/p41c99-53

next Grimm 25: The Girl with the Tongue Ring http://wp.me/p41c99-5e

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 1-25 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 23: Samhain

10/31/12

Today is Halloween, but it’s also Samhain, pronounced Sowen or something like that.  I can never accurately spell pronunciations.  It’s a Wiccan Sabbat.  I do some Wiccan rituals sometimes because I know witches.  It’s not evil like people think and it has nothing to do with the devil.  Actually the devil is a Christian created concept.  Wiccans worshipped Pan, depending upon the tradition, but he was a horned god, goat footed and all the pagans would ask him to bring fertility to their crops so they could eat over the winter.  During the times of the Inquisition, the image of Pan was transformed to an evil image in order to inspire heathens to convert to the Christian faith.  Pagan basically means worshipping many gods so technically you could call Buddhists pagans.  Heathen’s denotative meaning is ‘people of the heath’ or the hills, farmers and herders for the most part.  The connotative meaning is associated with the evil depiction like I talk about above.  There’s more, but that’s enough of a history lesson now.

Samhain is a time to remember the deceased and honor their spirits.  It’s kind of like El Dia De Los Muertos which is the day of the dead, no not the zombie movie, it’s a Mexican holiday.  I think El Dia De Los Muertos is celebrated on November 1st.  Anyway tonight at midnight Morgan and I are going to bring soul cakes to graves of friends and family we know who have died, then we’re going to do a ritual.  Samhain is also like a Wiccan new year.  It’s about death and rebirth so we kind of focus on the ‘out with the old in with the new’ philosophy.  So I have lots of old habits and stuff like that I need to rid of, and lots of new good energies to bring into my life.  We like to write wishes on birch bark then burn it and the wishes usually come true.  Morgan says you can’t peel the bark off the tree unless you want to piss off the Lady of the Forest.  So we pick it up off the ground, stuff that naturally fell off.

I didn’t work yesterday because we lost power because of Hurricane Sandy.  So that’s when Morgan and I made our soul cakes and planned our ritual.  Our ritual is going to focus on Kathy.  So after the visit to the cemetery and the ritual, we’re going to a costume party.  I’m dressing like a pirate, which is an awesome costume that cost me nothing, which is why I chose it.  I was finally able to pay rent and I don’t have to be my landlord’s sidekick anymore, but things are still tight for a little while.

At work we’re passing out candy to trick or treaters.  I remember being a kid and trick or treating.  Things were so simple then.  Sometimes I wish I never had to grow up.  I still struggle with growing up.

*******

previous Grimm 22: Hope Like Fire & the Chat Room http://wp.me/p41c99-4Y

next Grimm 24: Captain Grimm http://wp.me/p41c99-59

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 1-25 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 22: Hope Like Fire & the Chat Room

October 28, 2012

Last night I went into this chat room for writers because I’ve been thinking about maybe doing something professional with my writing.  I’m only writing my journal now because I don’t know I guess I’m distracted.  I’ve been kind of avoiding most of my friends because all they do is get high and I’m tired of being high.  It just steals all my ambitions.  Because when you’re high, you’re content with anything, you’re just relaxed and easily entertained.  So it stifles your need for fulfillment.  Fulfillment comes when you live life and experience life, and you participate in it.  You can’t really participate in life when you’re high, you just observe it from a distance.

Anyway, I’m trying to change my life for the better, but my friends keep coming by and bugging me.  I’m trying not to smoke so much pot so they just bring me more cocaine which I am incapable of saying no to.  But yesterday I went in this chat room and I spent the day and night chatting, cuz yeah…that’s what you do there.  I was asking about writing and everybody seemed pretty cool and helpful.  This girl pm’d me so we were talking in private for several hours.  Her name was hopelikefire.  I went in as Grimm so everyone figured I was a fan of the Brothers Grimm and all those old fairy tales and stuff, kind of creepy stories.  Which I guess I am but that’s just a coincidence.  So yeah this girl was pretty cool.  I never went into chat rooms before because I was just always busy hanging out with real people, but this was cool because it was like time alone yet with company.  And I could just get offline anytime I wanted without anyone bugging me.

So hopelikefire is married and 33 years old.  She showed me her pic and she’s pretty cute.  I showed her mine and she said I was cute.  I don’t mind being called cute, I kind of like it actually, so that was cool.  She was being all sweet and I don’t know, maybe she wants to fuck me but we didn’t talk like that since she’s married and everything.  She also has a little girl, so she’s a mom. So I was telling her I wanted to be a writer and she was encouraging and stuff, she made me feel worthwhile which was cool.

What I found interesting was that being in this chat box was kind of liberating in a way.  I felt like I could say anything I wanted.  I wished though I didn’t use my name Grimm though because then I couldn’t really be anonymous.  But I was telling her about how I was trying to get my life together but that it was rough, I didn’t know how to do it.  It’s like I need a freakin’ college degree ‘How to Get a Life’.  She was all, “aww” and everything, I think she was getting maternal on me, which was sweet.  Yeah, she’s sweet.  Too bad she’s married and too bad she’s kind of not real, in a cyber kind of way.  But ok here it is on my list of confessions, damnit, I’m in love with Emma.  And I told this girl that, so she was telling me I should just tell Emma how I feel.  Honestly, I think Emma would laugh at me.  I couldn’t live with that.  That would break me irreparably.  I didn’t tell hopelikefire that much, but it’s the truth.  Hopelikefire says I’m cute and sweet, so yeah, I like her, she’s cool.

*******

This Grimm posting includes the character hopelikefire as suggested by my friend @justbishop http://www.ashleyheckman.com/

Thanks Ashley!

previous Grimm 21: Ayla, Dave, & Wall Grimm’s Insight http://wp.me/p41c99-4T

next Grimm 23: Samhain http://wp.me/p41c99-53

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 1-25 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 21: Ayla, Dave, & Wall Grimm’s Insight

October 25, 2012

I was working, still am, and Ayla came to visit me.  Sharly wasn’t in so Ayla dragged me into the men’s room to give me a blow job.  I really, really, really needed that.  That’s her favorite thing in the world to do, I think.  I’m ok with that.  She also did cocaine with me, and left some with me.  I didn’t want to do cocaine at work, but you know, if it’s offered, it’s hard to say no.  Kind of like blow jobs.

Dave came in with his broken arm and looking messed up.  Messed up on drugs, not because the shit was beat out of him.  Damn these people.  How am I ever supposed to make it in life with these kinds of friends.  Bringing me drugs, bringing the drug world to me, enticing me to do inappropriate things at work and make bad choices.  This is why I am a loser.  Sometimes.  Sometimes I’m ok, when I can make good choices.  I think, though, it’s been a long time since I’ve made a good choice.  Maybe trying to save that possum was a good choice.  I like to do things like that when I can.  Then I realize there’s a purpose for me.  Maybe I can go to veterinary school.  Nah, I’d probably steal all the drugs, especially the kedamine.

Ok, I’ll do something good right now.  I’m going to be insightful and smart, so don’t put the journal down.  Yeah, I’m addressing you, imaginary journal reading person.  If I die before this journal is burned in a camp fire, you need to know I’m worth something, and that there is more to me than all the mistakes I make.  Here it is,

WALL GRIMM’S INSIGHT:

When I was a little kid, I loved the ocean.  My parents would take me to the beach and I wasn’t like the other kids.  I didn’t jump around and splash and beg to go deeper.  Well maybe I did sometimes.  But mostly I liked to stand right at the shoreline and watch the waves, and look way out into the vastness.  The concept that I was not able to see the end to something blew my mind.  I used to try real hard to see something, but there was nothing out there, no end.  I liked to feel the tide hit my ankles, coming and going, and my feet getting more and more buried into the sand.  I loved the smell of the ocean.  And I thought the sound of the waves were like a whole bunch of sounds combined to make one sound, and it surrounded me.  I felt the sound of the waves crashing.  There’s nothing more peaceful than the ocean.  I also liked to sit in the sand, not to build sandcastles, but to run the sand through my fingers.  Sometimes I’d look at individual grains of sand and wondered where they came from, or what they came from.  Were they from Europe?  Somehow did they come from India?  Were they once a part of a shell or maybe a mountain?  Maybe Mount Everest.  I had no idea the science behind it.  I still don’t.  But I knew that the ocean didn’t separate people, like we tend to think, from continent to continent.  Rather, I knew it connected us, all of us.  And I always wondered while I was looking out trying to see the end of the ocean, if there was another child on another beach wondering the same thing, while facing me.

*******

previous Grimm 20: The Job, Charlotte’s Web, Delusions, & a View of Emma http://wp.me/p41c99-4O

next Grimm 22: Hope Like Fire & the Chat Room http://wp.me/p41c99-4Y

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 1-25 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 20: The Job, Charlotte’s Web, Delusions, & a View of Emma

October 23, 2012

I’m at my new job right now.  This is my second day.  The hours suck but they’re also awesome.  I work noon to 8pm Monday through Friday.  I don’t have to work weekends unless someone switches with me, or vice versa.  I get to sleep late, and I get out early enough to enjoy my evenings.  I make $12 per hour.  What sucks about the hours is that it’s like the whole entire day.  I sleep in kind of late so it’s like I get up, go to work, come home, get high, go to sleep.  That’s if I don’t go out.  I’m going out tonight.  It’s cool working in a bookstore though and the manager really likes me.  Her name is Charlotte, and the name of the book store is Charlotte’s web, which is both clever and fucking stupid.  People call her Charly, pronounced with a sh sound so yeah, I guess that’s how I should spell it.  Sharly.

Ok, here’s a quote for you imaginary journal reading people, I wonder if you know where it’s from, “there’s a fine line between clever and stupid.”

Anyway, I’ve learned that Sharly is 49 and was never married but now she’s living with her 35 year old girlfriend.  Nice.  She’s pretty hot for a 49 year old, she behaves and looks like a 30 year old, and yeah, I’d fuck her.  And her girlfriend.  At the same time.

So there’s that, and I’m actually working right now, drinking tons of coffee because I’m kind of needing some coke, (cocaine that is, not the “tasty beverage” –another quote).  Fucking clean from 12-8 every day…my hands shake, and I’m kind of sick and irritable, but I contain it.  But I think I might kick someone’s ass tonight just to get this mania out of my system.  Some customers just came in, so I’m going to attend to them, since I am the Cash Register Attendant.  But three quick things:

1.  The Shadowy Guy seems to have taken up shop by the urinals.

2.  Now I’m seeing Kathy, not only in my dreams, but in my waking life.  But only here at the bookstore.  She’s usually just sitting in the arm chair reading a book.  Weird how this place has, in two days time, become free range for my delusions.

3.  Emma stopped by a little while ago for my supper break.  She behaved like she had no idea I left feeling offended the other night.  Her shirt was unbuttoned right at her tits so…well I told her, but only when she was leaving.  During her visit, I enjoyed the view when she wasn’t noticing.  She left and I went in the bathroom to jerk off, that’s when I encountered the Shadowy Guy.  At first it freaked me out.  Then I was like, “a little privacy, man, come on”  And that made him go away.

But yeah ok gotta go to the customers.  I feel so official.

*******

previous Grimm 19: Dean Martin & Dinner at Emma’s http://wp.me/p41c99-4J

next Grimm21: Ayla, Dave, & Wall Grimm’s Insight http://wp.me/p41c99-4T

For a chronological list of links to all the journal entries, refer to the Journal Entries Index Page http://wp.me/P41c99-J

For posts that aren’t journal entries, feel free to explore the Categories in the left side bar or the other pages above, including the Character Directories which list the posts each character is mentioned in.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 1-25 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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