I Accidentally Lied…

Sorry, I said I’d be back after camping but I never came back.  I’ve been off the cyber planet all this time, and focusing on other writing, but I plan to be back next week.  Sorry I abandoned you.  I am amazed to see people still coming by though.  That’s die hard, thank you.  I’ll resume, reply,  and reciprocate next week some time, thanks for your patience.



Categories: RANDOM GRIMM-NESS | 5 Comments

Going Camping

I wasn’t going to post about it, but since I haven’t kept up as much as I planned with Grimm, and I don’t have time to write one today, I thought I’d explain myself enough to say that I’m going camping this weekend so I’ll be offline.  As I always say, I’ll catch up, and things will be back to my own personal kind of normal come September.

I’ve had a busy Summer, but it’s been a great one.

Thanks for your patience and loyalty!  Be back soon.



Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 205: Teetotaling Grimm and the Drunken Maiden

August 12, 2014


So Saturday was my birthday and people got me some presents, but they respected my wishes and didn’t do anything big.  I went out for lunch with my parents because if I didn’t see my mom on my birthday, then she’d get upset.  My aunt tagged along because she was visiting from out of town.  She kept pointing out steak and pork and chicken dishes for me and I had to keep saying that I’m vegetarian.  Finally it sunk in and she said, sounding very Italian, “what’s wrong with you, you don’t eat meat, a man should eat meat, you need meat.”

“I don’t need meat.”

“Maybe you should have some meat, Valente.”  My mom out of nowhere decided to reconsider my vegetarianess.

“I don’t need meat, Mama.”

I decided on pasta primavera, because at least it was Italian and that satisfied my aunt.  For dessert, they had the staff of the restaurant come over and sing to me.  There’s the center of attention thing that I don’t like, but it was a thoughtful gesture.

Other than that, I got Gary Oldman (II) some new toys and treats because it was her birthday too, and I took the night off from work to spend the day and evening alone.  It feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve had solitude of any quantity and/or quality.  I was feeling pretty good about myself, confident, assured in my accomplishments and responsibility, so I believed I was capable of going into a bar and not drinking.  I just wanted the bar scene, it’s been so long.  There’s something comforting about it, being surrounded by people who are having a good time, some of them acquaintances, many of them strangers, and myself alone seated at the bar watching them all, getting perspective on things.  Yet usually I’d be drinking whiskey or beer or both and I’d end up shitfaced and my perspective only involved being able or unable to present myself sober, while others probably saw me as drunk off my ass.  Perspective.

Anyway, I was good, I didn’t drink, and that was awesome.  I sat at the bar and I got apple juice and tonic water on ice, which is as close to whiskey as I could think to have.  More tonic water than apple juice though because otherwise it would be too sweet.  I didn’t want nonalcoholic beer because it’s too close to the real thing, and like I said before, there’s an element of dissatisfaction with it.  Since it’s so close, there’s the anticipation of the alcohol in your blood which just isn’t there.  Being in a bar with that lack of gratification wouldn’t be a good idea.  But yeah, I was good, I didn’t drink, I was teetotaling Grimm.

Then this girl came up to the bar beside me to order a drink.  She was pretty cute and while she was waiting for her Sex on the Beach, no pun intended, she glanced at me.  At first it was one of those passive looks that girls give to guys in bars, which suggests they’re acknowledging a presence, but it’s more of a looking-right-through-you kind of notice.  But I nodded a subtle greeting and then her eyes allowed her to see me and she kind of lit up and said, “hi!”  I turned to be sure she wasn’t talking to someone behind me because it seemed she was addressing someone familiar, but no, she meant me.

She stayed and talked to me for the rest of the night.  At first I gave her my stool, then I sat when the one beside her was available.  We talked and flirted, and she drank, and I didn’t.  Her name was Megan.  She seemed ok for a while, as in holding her liquor.  I didn’t notice how much she was drinking.  Then she stood because I said I wanted to go out for a smoke.  She stood and it all hit her and she was instantly and intensely intoxicated.  Before I had a chance to stand, she fell over into my arms, only because I had to catch her.  She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body into mine, then whispered in my ear that she wanted to fuck me.  Of course I was tempted, because how can that not make a guy horny?  But she was really drunk and I was completely sober, so that didn’t seem right.  I had her sit back down, but her drunkenness kind of made her an instant slut.  She began rubbing my legs and said, “you work out, I can tell, your thighs are rock hard.”  I mumbled so she couldn’t hear, “that’s not all that’s rock hard.”  But she heard me, oops.  She laughed and was like, “ooooh” and she started groping me and trying to undo my pants, so I had to move her hands away.  She said in that very loud drunk voice people get when they’re saying something no one else around them should hear, “you are sooo hard!”  Then she was feeling my arms and she made me stand up.  At first, I was like no, I’m not standing, but she wouldn’t let up so I did.  She lifted my shirt and began feeling my stomach.  All the while I was just kind of taking it but at the same time deterring it from becoming too excessive.  But then she stopped two girls passing by and insisted they feel my abdomen.  I had three girls feeling my abs, it was like a freakin’ porn, so I pulled away because I was really hard and I didn’t want to lose myself.

The girls finally left when Megan said, “ok now stop touching him, he’s mine.”  Then she proceeded to wrap her arms around me and feel my ass.  She was like, “you can tell how good a guy is in bed by his ass.  I can tell you’re a good fuck.”

That’s when I was like, all right let’s find your friends.  We searched the bar and asked around and it seemed her friends left.  I told her to call or text them, but apparently they had her purse with her cell in it.  I had walked there, it was over an hour walk, and I was planning to take a taxi home, so I couldn’t drive her anywhere.  But I said I’d get a taxi to get her home, and I’d ride with her to be sure she got there safely.  She said she didn’t want to go home.  I suggested a friend’s.  She said, “no, let’s go to your place.”

I had the bartender call for a taxi and we had a smoke outside while we waited for it.  At first she took her shoes off and she shrunk about 5 inches.  She only went up to my armpit.  But she still had a hard time standing so I sat on the pavement beside her, leaning against the building.  I figured once we’d get in the cab we could drive a little and I could get her address out of her.  But she passed out while we were driving.  Out fucking cold.  So we went to my place, I picked her up over my shoulder since I still couldn’t wake her, and carried her upstairs to my apartment.

I laid her on my bed with a bucket in case she had to puke and a glass of ginger ale, then I went out on the couch to jerk off and crash as soon as possible.  All the roomies were in bed since it was nearly 3am by then.  About an hour later, she started puking, and she puked for a few hours until she fell asleep and stayed asleep.  We were in the bathroom at that point, both sleeping on the floor.  I had dozed off after her.  About 8am I woke and carried her back to my bed, then went back on the couch, but Pete and Cola were getting up.  I told them what was going on and I went in Pete’s room to sleep.  And that day, the day after, is another story altogether.  Until next time…

My theme song for this journal entry is “Last Nite” by The Strokes.


previous Grimm s Birthday, Harmonica, and Underwear http://wp.me/p41c99-126

For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 204: Grimm’s Birthday, Harmonica, and Underwear

August 9, 2014


Today’s my birthday, I’m 25.  I don’t have anything specifically planned to celebrate and I requested that everyone I know ignore it and treat it like any other day.  I’m not sure if that will happen, but one can hope.  Last year was when I burned the scrapbook Emma gave me.  I never really liked being the center of attention.  I’m not insecure, but I kind of exist in my own world and when I’m excessively acknowledged and focused in on, it penetrates that private realm.  I’m also really bad at remembering birthdays, so I guess I kind of feel guilty when other people remember mine even though I forget theirs.  Today is also Gary Oldman (II)’s birthday.  She’s a year old.  I estimated her age when I found her.  She was a kitten, but I found her around this time, so I gave her my birthday in order to remember.  I realize now that I never acknowledged Valentina’s birthday.  And now I feel horrible.  She would’ve been a year old.  Maybe I unconsciously sabotaged my memory of it because it has the potential to destroy me.

Ok, on to other things.  I haven’t seen Solenne since our date.  She went to England with her uncle not long after, and they’ve been gone all this time.  They’re visiting other family, then she’ll be returning home and starting college.  We’re actually going to attend the same college, which is cool.

Other than that, the rest of this journal entry will be about my harmonica and my underwear.

I like to hang out in my underwear, bikini briefs usually, that’s just the way it is, I’ve said this before.  I also like to clean that way, while listening to music and dancing to it.  Recently, I was doing such and listening to the radio rather than cd’s.  Pete was out with Bogart, taking him clothes shopping, because Bogart barely has any clothes and he likes a lot of the shit I wear, so Pete thought he could help him expand his wardrobe.  That’s more of a Pete thing to do.  I hate shopping.  Cola was home and helping to clean.  So we’re listening to the radio and “Love is Like Oxygen” by Sweet came on and I’m dancing and cleaning and Cola was like, “why do you clean in your underwear, Wall Grimm?”  I was like, “I dunno.”  She said, “dancing to disco in your bikini underwear is kind of effeminate, you know.”  I said, “no it isn’t.” “Whatever you say, Caballero.”

At one point I took a break to have a smoke but instead I started to play my harmonica.  I’ve been trying to quit and I find that the harp is a good way of distracting me from smoking.  I get sucked into the notes and separate from the world around me, like I just go off to another plane of existence and get lost, as if I’m channeling the spirit of a master harpist and the music that results is like nothing I could create otherwise.  It comes from a source I tap into that I just can’t explain.  So I went out on the balcony and was playing.  Astrid was below and she told me to come down and play there and have a smoke with her.  I told her I was in my underwear, she said that’s ok, so was she.

I went down and she was like wtf, saying I was practically naked, she figured I was in boxers and a t-shirt or something.  I said, “well, I don’t care if you don’t care.”  She said she didn’t care.  But she wasn’t in her underwear and when I pointed that out, she said she went in and put on some shorts.  I said I figured she wouldn’t care if I was in my underwear because I heard her conversation with her friend Matt when she said it would be disgusting to fuck me.  She explained that I’m not disgusting, it’s just that she’s old enough to be my mother.  I knew that’s what she meant.  I told her that a couple years ago I was involved with Paula, who was 50.  She asked my age again and I said my birthday was coming up, I was going to be 25.  She expressed that it was wrong that Paula got involved with me.  She asked what I thought about a 50 year old man getting involved with a 23 year old girl.  I admitted that I’d think he was a pervert.  But I think it’s different for some reason.  We kind of ended the conversation there and had a smoke.  But then she told me to put something on, she changed her mind.  So I went up and put on my Eastwood and Stepping Wolves.  She thought that was pretty funny.  I started on the harp and soon after, her friend Matt showed up.  He seemed appalled that I was sitting there in my bikini briefs in front of the woman he’s obsessed with.  I stopped playing, took off my Eastwood and covered my crotch.  I said that I had to put something on anyway because for some reason when I play it gets me hard, so I went up to put some pants on.  I heard Matt’s voice saying shit, and I know it was about me by the tone, but I couldn’t discern what he was saying.  The tone in Astrid’s voice was defensive, of both herself and of me.  That’s the sense I got.

Anyway, there was another day after that I was home alone, hanging out in my underwear and playing on the harp.  I didn’t hear the texts I was getting.  A couple were from Ayla who wanted to come by since she hadn’t seen the new place yet.  The roomies were all out together.  Cola wanted to get some art supplies, and then they were going grocery shopping.  We take turns teaching Bogart day to day type responsibilities.  But he’s kind of a challenge from time to time and it’s better if there’s two of us with him.  Unless it’s me.  I can handle him on my own, but it can be exhausting.

So Ayla shows up, knocks on the door and I answered it.  I could hear Cola’s voice in my head, “why do you answer the door in your underwear, Wall Grimm?”  And since I’ve only been on one date with Solenne and she’s not my girlfriend, I decided to accept a blowjob from Ayla.  I figured that when and if Solenne becomes my girlfriend, it may be a long time that I’ll have to go without sex.  I’ve been without for about 2 weeks now, or more, I lost track, since Iona is taking time away from me.  Not long after she decided to do that, I met Solenne and haven’t pursued sex since she’s my focus.  But when opportunity knocks, as Ayla did, it helps.

I was on the couch and she was kneeling on some cushions on the floor, and it was just as I was cumming that the roomies returned home.  I came hard and I was pretty loud and when I was done, I opened my eyes and all three of them were standing there.  They had just come in at the end, I imagine, since Cola would more likely guide the others away and allow me some privacy.  But as I said before, Pete’s a closet pervert.  So I said, “Pete, you pervert.”  He said, “Me??  They’re here too.”  “by default.”  “What’s that even mean?”  I shrugged.

Cola said, “it’s good to see you weren’t lonely in our absence, Wall Grimm.”


Bogart just stood looking astounded for a moment before he went off, “Blimey!!!  I wan’ one!”  He approached us, pulled his pants and underwear down to his knees.  “I wan’ one, come on now, love, give us one, let’s ‘ave a go, crack on then,” or something very British like that, a raunchy request sounding proper somehow.

I wanted to say, no Bogart she’s mine, but Ayla spoke up.  First she gawked at his junk and said, “Nice!  That’s some equipment you’ve got there.”  Then she added, “but no, thank you.  I only do this for Grimm.”

I said, “what, really?”



“I don’t know.  What the hell do you think of me?  You think I give everyone blowjobs?  Nope, just you.”

I never thought of it, but I guess I assumed that she did, that she enjoyed giving blowjobs.  I had no idea it was just me.  What the fuck does someone say to that?  I said, “…thank you…. …?”

“You’re welcome.”

Now I wonder if I’m the only one she fucks too.  And I’m thinking back to something Sharly said to me way back when.  She said girls want more from me than sex, but I usually only want sex and that’s clear from the start, so they do it just to have me at least in some way.  Sharly said it, not me, and she phrased it better.  It feels vain to find validity in that, and makes me feel like an asshole, though it’s not how I purposely go about my way or anything.  I never thought that Ayla might be one of those girls.  My psychicisms have failed me in terms of Ayla.  Sex kind of puts a wall up against my intuition.  Ironically, a wall.  I am a man of many walls.  I am Wall.  I am Wall Grimm.

And my theme song of course is “Love is Like Oxygen”, by Sweet.



previous Grimm 203: Master of Stating the Obvious & Grimm in Love http://wp.me/p41c99-11R

For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.


Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Going on Vacation

My posts and time spent on line have been sporadic this Summer because I’ve been really busy.  However, come September, I’ll have a more consistent schedule, including the return of my Sage Doyle blog and my poetry.  I don’t have an exact schedule in mind yet, but it’ll happen.

Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I’ll be going away tonight (Sunday, August 3rd, meaning right now), until Thursday afternoon/evening on August 7th.  This means I won’t be on line at all, no posts, no blog visits, etc.  So if I don’t reply to emails or comments, that’s why.  I’ll respond and catch up with everything once I return.

Take care, and thanks so much for coming by.



Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | Tags: , , , , , , | 21 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 203: Master of Stating the Obvious & Grimm in Love

August 2, 2014


So last Sunday I went on the sextuple date, triple date.  First, as Solenne had requested, I went to her house to pick her up.  She wanted it like a real official date, so I brought her flowers.  Her uncle is a nice guy but pretty intense.  When I first got there and he opened the door, the solid, brisk movement of the opening door created an air current that went through me like a ghost.  And the motion was so sudden, I was startled, especially once he was standing there gazing down at me.  The entire few seconds of this experience nearly caused me to shit my pants or maybe have a heart attack.  But in the end, he and I were laughing together and I think he trusts me with his niece.

We went back to my place first, where I introduced her to Astrid, Pete, Bogart, and Cola.  They were sitting out back, so I brought her out there.  I introduced them in order of how they were seated, which began with Pete, who stood and shook her hand.  Bogart observed that and followed suit, but then he said to her, “you’re black, really black, you’re a very dark black.”  Then I nearly shit myself again, this time from embarrassment.  Solenne just smiled graciously and said, “yes, I am.”  I added, “she’s beautiful” then took her hand and kissed the back of it.  I introduced Astrid next, then Cola, at which point, Bogart, Master of Stating the Obvious says, “‘e’s a bloke, ‘e’s a bloke in a dress, ‘e wears ladies’ knickers, wants to be a lady.”

Cola said, “no Bogart, I don’t want to be a lady, I’m very happy with myself the way I am.  Well, maybe sometimes I do.”  She laughed, then said, “but I like having a male body, but living as a woman.  Most times.”

Then while we waited for Bogart’s date and her friends, I took Solenne upstairs to see the apartment.  I forgot to mention that I had Gary Oldman (II) with me the entire time, even when I picked Solenne up.  Gary didn’t like the greyhounds very much but they seemed to like her.  Anyway, I wanted to avoid the awkwardness when you show someone your place and end with your bedroom, so I started with my bedroom and ended with the kitchen.  Then it got awkward in the kitchen.  I told her I’d like to have her seated at my table sometime eating a meal I prepare just for her.  She said she’d like that.  Then I had to kiss her, but I had to make it a brief one because I don’t want to overwhelm her with my constantly touching and kissing her.  It’s hard for me to keep my hands to myself around her.

Anyway, the others showed up, the girl Bogart met when we went running, Ashley, and her friends that are a couple, Douchebag and Fuckingbitch.  (I don’t like them).  Bogart, being a good mimic once again, introduced everyone as I did.  This time he didn’t state the obvious and I suspect that once I went inside with Solenne, he was advised not to say those kinds of things.  It was probably Astrid who told him not to.  She has a very un-insulting and gentle way of correcting his behavior which he’s responsive to.

So after all that, the six of us loaded up in Douchebag’s SUV and went to Willard Brook.  I took a bunch of pictures on my phone.

This is the bridge over the river.


This is a wall.  I had to take it.  Because it’s a wall.  A cool one.  And that’s my name.

wall pic

Speaking of my name being Wall.  I saw this graffiti on the bridge.

I love Wall 2

Nice.  Someone loves me.

Speaking of graffiti, I saw this, which kind of made me laugh, but I hate when people write shit like this at family places.

grafitti 1

But there was some nice graffiti too, which was cool, and Solenne liked it.

grafitti 2

grafitti 3

I took a picture of this tree, which was pretty much symbolic of how I was feeling all day around Solenne.


But the fire kind of freaked me out because there were demons in it.


We had a great time.  We swam in the lake, walked through and along the river.  Went down the path to a private area by the river and swam there.  It had a natural water slide which was cool.  We hiked, found a bunch of blueberries that we picked.  We ate a picnic lunch, including stuff we cooked over the fire, and ended of course with s’mores.

Ashley’s friends were all right at first, but they kept making faces about Bogart.  It was wicked fucking pissing me off, but I didn’t want to cause a scene.  I just kind of didn’t interact with them at all.  I was the aloof, cold shoulder Grimm.  I didn’t look them in the eye if they tried to talk to me, but when they’d be making faces or mocking Bogart, I’d look at them then.  I’d give them my Siciliani Romani Gypsy curse look, without actually cursing them, but it made them uncomfortable.  At least they weren’t being so open about their mockery.  Bogart had no idea.  I figured I let him enjoy his date with Ashley and it only mattered how she felt about him, not what they thought.  He’s just boisterous and talkative when he’s excited, and the whole day for him was a new adventure so of course he was really excited.  I mean, being in the river and hiking and shit like that was all so new to him that he completely forgot about sex.  He just reverted back to a healthy version of childhood.

Ashley seemed to like Bogart a lot.  She was laughing all the time, not at him, but just amused by him.  He is pretty funny.  He kinda of comes off as unintelligent sometimes, but he’s far from it.  He’s actually very smart and like I’ve said before, he’s a fast learner, which is impressing me.  I think he really wants to fit in, not just with the people around him, but in life.  He’s invested in making a sincere effort to be a “real person”.  So I was glad to see that Ashley appreciated him for who he is, because there’s no disguising his personality.

The day ended with Solenne and Ashley coming back to our place.  Douchebag and Fuckingbitch left in the SUV, so Bogart and I were going to take the girls home later.  But as we were sitting outside just hanging out, Bogart came out with, “blimey I wan’a fuck the ‘ell ou’a ya.”  Which she laughed at, then stood up and started to run up the stairs toward our balcony and the door to our apartment.  She said to him, “come on!”  So he followed, and they disappeared for the night in his bedroom.  On and off throughout the night they could be heard in there, especially him.

After they ran off, it felt awkward around Solenne.  I wanted the same but I wasn’t about to indicate that because I was still unsure how to go about doing everything right in order to keep her interested.  I was thinking long term, which often conflicts with immediate gratification.  Instead I asked her to go for a walk, that way we’d finally have time alone together.  We talked a lot and kissed a lot, and held hands when we walked.  And I brought her home at a decent time because I not only want to respect her, I want to respect her uncle, who is very protective.  I’m not sure where they stand on premarital sex.  It’s very high on my list of agreeable activities, but that’s not the case for everyone.  So I took her home and kissed her goodnight and walked away feeling sick to my stomach.  Yeah, I’m fucking in love with her.  That wasn’t supposed to happen.  Love doesn’t ever seem to be convenient.

My theme song for this entry is Your favorite love song, Invisible Journal Reading People.



next Grimm 204: Grimm’s Birthday, Harmonica, and Underwear http://wp.me/p41c99-126

previous Grimm 202: Supplying Chocolate, Vacuuming Private Parts, the Beach, & Lizard King Competition http://wp.me/p41c99-11H

For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.


Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 202: Supplying Chocolate, Vacuuming Private Parts, the Beach, & Lizard King Competition

July 31, 2014


I have a few things to talk about today.  My next entry I’ll discuss the tri-couple date.  I guess that makes it a triple date.  A double date should be called a quadruple date, since there’s four people.  Our date should be called a sextuple.  But that gives the wrong idea about the date.  So I’ll just call it a triple, which has good connotations in baseball anyway, which has its own connotations for sex.  I’ll stop myself there.

My name is Wall Grimm and here are a few brief stories:


1.  I’m not only supplying Astrid with smokes, wine, and toilet paper, but I’ve also begun to buy her chocolate.  She doesn’t want it at her place because she says she’ll eat it… …though that’s the point.  It’s at my place and she texts whenever she’s fiending.  I’m doing this for two reasons.  First, she spilled M&M’s outside of her car one day, and later that night she went out to eat them off the ground.  After eating some, she went inside to get a flashlight to find the rest and returned to see they were covered in ants.  Protein.  Next thing she did was dig through her trash for Dunkin’ Donuts munchkins she’d thrown away.  Here’s a woman who takes desperate measures to consume chocolate when she has a craving.  I’ve decided to be her supplier to prevent her from armed robbery over an Almond Joy.

2.  Astrid, Cola, Pete, Bogart, and I had a fire pit going Monday night.  I was in a strange mood and the fire was huge so I stood before everyone with the fire in front of me and declared, “I am the Lizard King!  I can do anything!”  It’s one of my favorite quotes, and it’s by Jim Morrison, who keeps invading my journal.  Anyway, this inspired Bogart.  He jumped up, shoved me out of the way, punched me in the face and shouted, “No!  I am the Lizard King!  An’ I can do anyfing!  Ya cunt!”  I retaliated by shoving him down to the ground and punching him in the face a couple times, then we had a mini brawl that Astrid yelled for us to stop.  But I was annoyed because this was after Bogart and I talked and he had agreed not to hit me in the face anymore because I’m tired of walking around looking beat up all the time.  He’s also not supposed to hit me in the stomach unexpectedly because I don’t want any internal damage or to die like Houdini.

3.  Saturday before I went to work, we were cleaning because I wanted the place presentable in case anyone came home with us after the date on Sunday.  Bogart was vacuuming.  He’d never used a vacuum before.  At one point he had just the tube to get in a corner or something, and he discovered the suction qualities of the vacuum on his pant leg.  He began putting it on other parts of his clothing, then he went at my shirt with it.  He was very entertained.  Then he undid his pants and pulled them down.  I was like, “no, man, don’t put that on your dick.”  He said ok, put it on his testicle, and began hollering and panicking when he couldn’t get it off.  I unplugged the vacuum.  He started whining about how now one of his testicles was “longer” than the other and that they were uneven.  He kept asking me to look and confirm it.  I didn’t look but I was just like, “no they’re the same.”  He plugged the vacuum in, suctioned the other one, then unplugged the vacuum again.  He said, “there, ‘at’s be’a!”

Now I’ll describe the Friday beach trip with me, Astrid, and Bogart.  First thing I had to do when we got there was take him to the men’s room so he could jerk off.  As we were driving around looking for a parking place, the amount of hot girls in bikinis was too much for him.  He’s getting better though, since he announced in the car that he needed “a wank” without just doing it.  After that I instructed him to keep his sunglasses on and ogle discretely without saying anything, and that he’d probably get more attention himself that way, since he is an attractive guy.  Basically I was advising him to not act like such a goofball, but not in those words.  As a result he did get attention, and phone numbers.  I avoided the women myself for two reasons.  1.  Astrid’s cool to hang with.  I also didn’t want to be rude.  Plus my presence deterred any attention that she didn’t want.  2.  I didn’t want distractions from Solenne.  I officially met her the day before, and our date was to be on Sunday.  I was only thinking of her.

Bogart was good and didn’t grope any of them.  He’s a fast learner, and he’s great at mimicking behavior, such as when he sees how I behave with girls.  He was talking to about 5 girls at once, at one point.  His accent is a magnet.  As an experiment I went up to them all and said hello, introducing myself as Valente, in my mock Italian accent, and they were all like “oooh, an Italian man.”  They literally said that.  One girl even put her hand on my chest and said she loved chest hair it’s so manly.  Then I had to go away, since I was in the speedo shorts I got with Hasty, an erection would’ve been obvious.

Later along the boardwalk, we went to the Cascade Café, where Astrid ordered a “penis colada”.  That’s actually what she said to the waitress.  Bogart thought that was hysterical.  He wanted to drink but I wouldn’t let him because of his medication, and he accepted that because I can’t drink either.  Astrid was like, “oh yeah!” and told me then I can drive home, since she drove there.  We took her convertible.

While we were on the upper patio at the café, Bogart noticed the water slides and wanted to try them.  I went down with him and he went on it repeatedly until he threw up because he only ate tons of fried dough the whole day.

Back to the beach, we finally went in the ocean, since Bogart was too busy talking to girls before.  It took him a while to get in since the water was cold he said it hurt his bollocks.  But it wasn’t long before he was jumping the waves and having fun, yet still distracted by girls.  He’s got no concept of age appropriateness, I’ve learned.  Some of those girls, who are clearly very young to me, maybe 14ish, they’ve got the bodies of 18+ year olds and Bogart can’t tell the difference, so I had to explain to him to be careful about that.

Two more things:

Bogart joined a group of about 5 kids ages ranging from 5 – 12, and built an elaborate sand castle.  At first his approach to the kids kind of freaked the moms out, but I told them he was harmless, he’s never been to the beach before, and since the kids were building the castle near their moms, they were able to supervise, and realize he was essentially like a kid himself.

Bogart almost got a tattoo, but I discouraged him against it until he could pick something meaningful.  At the time, his sense of meaningful was an image of a girl with big tits that he saw on the tattoo artists’ wall.  I told him that’s not really a good idea.

My theme song is by Flight of the Concords, “We’re Both in Love with a Sexy Lady” because I think, if not for my interest in Solenne, Bogart and I would have the potential to go after the same girls.  I’m not used to the competition, which is probably why I don’t even bother.  I instantly resign and allow Bogart all the opportunity.  Maybe I’m being a good wing man, or maybe my ego is unconsciously concerned that some women would choose Bogart over me and I don’t want to find out if that’s true, so I’d rather not have to face it.  Very bizarre in psychological terms once you start getting into the unconsciousness of the ego.



previous Grimm 201: Grimm Meets a Girl http://wp.me/p41c99-11j

next Grimm 203: Master of Stating the Obvious & Grimm in Love http://wp.me/p41c99-11R

For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 201: Grimm Meets a Girl

July 29, 2014


I have a lot to catch up with yet again, Wise Old Journal, including Bogart’s first date, which was on Sunday; our beach day, which was on Friday; and incidents including ants, M&Ms, the fire pit, and a vacuum.  But for now I will focus on when I met HER.

I was sitting in Barnes & Noble for most of the day in order to try and meet someone that I could take on a date and join Bogart for moral support, as I described in my previous entry.  Anyway, I was beginning to get discouraged when SHE walked in.  I saw her walk up to the counter and order a coffee.  I figured that she would sit or browse around the store, then I’d make my way to her and strike up some conversation.  But she left.  She ordered her coffee and walked back out the door.  I was like, shit wtf damnit mother fuck.  Because what the hell was I supposed to do, stalk her?

Well, this gaping hole birthed and began to expand in the pit of my stomach once she walked out, so after my wtf moment, I decided to go out after her.  I grabbed my own coffee and my book and ran out.  I stood in front of the store and saw her walking in the direction of the other stores in the plaza.  She wasn’t headed toward the parking lot.

In the midst of my dilemma about how to make this happen, I ran up to her, about ten feet away, and said, “excuse me.”

She turned, “yes?”

She was so beautiful, tall and black.  She was like a couple inches shorter than me maybe, and her skin was the dark black that almost seemed blue.  I lost my breath for a second and I thought I’d just get dizzy and pass out.  I just stared at her.  I’ve always kind of done that though, I get the impulse to approach a girl, say hi, then have no idea what to say next.  While I’m thinking of it, I just stare, and somehow, this has inadvertently become my manner of picking up girls.  It would seem they’d think I was kinda creepy, but nope, somehow they get intrigued.  This girl just smiled, “do you have something you want to say?”

She had a French accent.  We were still about ten feet away from each other and stationary, so I walked up to her and said, “umm I…I just…I wanted…ummm…hi, I’m Grimm.”  I decided to just introduce myself before I began to speak in tongues, and I put out my hand to shake hers.


“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yes, but…why?”

“Because…ummm…” and since I had nothing else to say and no other cause for accosting her, I was honest, “you’re beautiful.  I saw you buy your coffee and I wanted to talk to you, but then you left, so I didn’t have much time to think about how to approach you.”

“That’s romantic.  Are you romantic?”

“I can be.”

“I remember you.”

“You remember me?  What do you mean?”

And then she described the day last year when I went to Barnes & Noble with my mother for mother’s day.  Solenne was apparently the girl who caught me with my hand down my pants scratching my balls.  Hardly a good first impression, but it was an impression enough for her to remember me.  She said I made her laugh and she thought I was cute.  Ok, I’ll take cute.  I’d prefer to be called hot and handsome, but cute’s not bad.

She then said that she had somewhere she needed to go, but had one more stop to make first, and she invited me to walk with her.  I asked if she minded if I smoked.  I figured I’d expose the bad habit right away and get it over with, but I still told her I was trying to quit.  She smoked with me though she’s not a smoker, it’s only social for her.  As we were walking she said we were going to Petco because she has three greyhounds that she adopted.  Their names are Marcy, Daisy, and Brad.  She changed their names from their race dog names, because she believed their original names carried bad associations for them.  Brad is named after Brad Pitt.  I said, funny I have a cat named Gary Oldman.  She said she’d like to meet “him”.  I said, “her”.  She said, “oh that is funny.”

So she likes animals, and I found out that she runs, which is awesome, and she goes with her dogs, because they need lots of exercise or their muscles will atrophy.  I accompanied her during her shopping, purchasing, and I helped her load up her car.  She told me that she’s from the Ivory Coast, and about five years ago she came to the states to live with an uncle because there was too much violence.  She didn’t want to go into detail, but she said she “lost” her family.  Since she’s come here, she’s caught up on her education, including learning to read and speaking English.  Her first language is French.  Since she’s been here, another civil war has broken out there.  She’s only nineteen years old, but for her I will make an exception to my age restrictions.  Solenne has been through a lot, so she’s wise and mature.  But she is extremely positive and loves life and values every minute of it because she says you never know what’s going to happen next, good or bad.  She believes she is very lucky to be here in the states and she’s excited that she will begin college this year, majoring in sociology because she wants to help people on a global level, but she’s not sure where to begin.  Sociology seemed fitting.

Anyway, I could no longer deny that I was in love with her.  Every word I spoke came out with a bunch of breath because I could barely breathe.  The exhales came out in my words, my inhales were kinda shaky.  I don’t think I was breathing at all when I wasn’t speaking.  But after we loaded her car, I told her about the date and explained that the girl Bogart is taking is bringing along a couple she knows, in order for her to feel safe.  Solenne said she won’t do that.  She said she feels safe and senses safety from me, so she wanted me to pick her up at her house like a real date, because she’s never been on a real date either.  She added that I will then also meet her uncle who will hunt me down and mutilate me if I should harm her in any way, then she laughed.  I said I wasn’t concerned about that, because I’d never hurt her.  I told her I’d call her on Saturday to confirm what we’re doing.

Then as she was saying goodbye, I said, “wait a minute.”  I wasn’t ready for her to go yet.

She was at her car door, standing inside the open door and I was facing her, very close to her.  I wanted to kiss her but I thought it might not be appropriate since we only just met, so after I said “wait” I just stood there again, staring at her.  She smiled and said, “what?”

I leaned in slowly to kiss her, slow enough for her to know what I was doing, and slow enough for her to turn away or refuse it if she wanted.  But she didn’t.  She took it and kissed me back.  Then she told me I was definitely a romantic.  She said goodbye and drove away.

I watched her drive away, and couldn’t move at first as I was captured by the remnants of her presence, but once I broke out of the time warp, I was eventually able to get on with my day.

And my theme song for this entry is “Hello, I Love You” by The Doors, because is there another more appropriate song?



previous Grimm 200: Grimm on the Hunt http://wp.me/p41c99-10U

next Grimm 202: Supplying Chocolate, Vacuuming Private Parts, the Beach, & Lizard King Competition http://wp.me/p41c99-11H

For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 200: Grimm on the Hunt

July 25, 2014


Bogart called Ashley Wednesday night while I was at work.  Pete and Cola instructed him prior and he had notes all written out kind of like a sales person.  ‘If the person says this, you respond with…’ etc.  Ashley wants to go out but she wants to meet at a public place and she wants to bring her friend and her friend’s boyfriend.  Bogart said ok but he wanted to bring his friend and his friend’s girlfriend.  He meant me.  He told me when I got home from work that he’s never been on a date before and he wants me there to make sure he does everything right.  He actually said that he knows he’s kind of insane and he wants to learn how to be a real person and interact with real people and not be a delinquent, a criminal, or a patient anymore.  And of course I want to help him with that, which is the reason I invited him to live with me.  The only way he can learn to be a 22 year old guy is by being immersed in a world of people around his own age.  Kind of like learning a language, total immersion works.

Anyway, I don’t have a girlfriend and Iona is taking a break from me.  I had some girls’ contact info in my phone, but that phone fell in the toilet at Sharly’s the night I performed for Emma.  I’ve since gotten a new phone, but I lost most of my contacts, those I didn’t know by heart or couldn’t find out through a little research.  I thought of asking Ayla, since at least it would be guaranteed that I’d get laid or a blow job or both, but I decided to go looking for a girl.  I heard from Snow White the other day and unfortunately she won’t be coming up to visit.  It has to do with time, money, and a bunch of different things going on for her.  I was kinda looking forward to her visit, but shit happens and then you step over it and keep walking.

So yesterday, I decided to spend my entire day looking for a girl.  I figured if I failed, I’d try again today, and if I still failed, then I’d ask Ayla.  Our plans are for around noontime Sunday, but they’re up in the air in terms of where we’re going or what we’re doing.

At first I couldn’t think of how to meet a girl.  I don’t think I’ve ever ventured out specifically for that purpose before, unless I was going to a bar, and it wasn’t the only goal, rather it was more of a fringe benefit.  But I’m meeting less girls than ever since I don’t do anything that gives the opportunity for meeting them.  Not like going to bars.  Plus without the alcohol, I tend to be more apprehensive about approaching.  There are a bunch of different girls that come in the book store sometimes.  Sharly calls them my groupies or my fan club because they like to talk to me or they talk to each other about me, Sharly’s heard them talking.  But they’re all youngish.  And I realized yesterday one reason why I lean towards older women, because they’re obviously not teenagers.  Some of those teenage girls look like twenty somethings and that freaks me out.  I’m kind of traumatized from the Lauren incident, I guess.  I’m going to be 25 in a couple of weeks and I draw the line at 20, not even as young as 18.  I guess because 18 is too close to high school.  And I’ve seen those girls at college, they seem so young to me.  Speaking of college, that’s a great place to meet girls, but my entire first semester back I was invested in my performance for Emma, so I was too distracted.  Except for the sorority girl incident with Cassidy.  That put me off college girls, at least temporarily.

Anyway, so I decided, after much thought, that the best way to meet someone when you don’t go to bars is at a place that you personally enjoy going to, because there’s at least that shared interest.  I thought of a book store.  I work at a freakin’ bookstore.  But like I said, my groupies are youngish, and the girls, or I should say women, who come in that I would be interested in, Sharly probably wouldn’t like it if I were to flirt or hit on them, since I’m in a professional position.  Well, they need to flirt first at least.  Besides, I’ve been sleeping with Iona, distracted in life otherwise, so I just haven’t bothered to put the pheromones out there, until yesterday when I went to Barnes and Noble.

I thought a book store would be best, because I like a girl who likes to read.  I planned to spend the entire day there until I had to go to work.  I sat in the café drinking cappuccinos and finally finishing Steppenwolf.  I’ve decided to make it a point to read every day now.  I used to read more, then there was all the drugs and alcohol and my being generally fucked up that ended the habit of reading.  Plus with my brain injury from the Gangsta, I have processing issues, so reading can be a slow and painful process, which sucks.  The processing problems otherwise are tolerable, because it usually happens in conversation with people, and since I tend to be quiet, it gives me time to devote to interpretation before I’m ever expected to say anything.  My psychicisms and intuition help to offset some of that lapse though.  One on one is easier, it’s when there’s a lot of people, it’s hard to follow everything everyone is saying.  Also, I’m forgetful, and I’ll sometimes forget what I’m doing or where I’m going.  My mom tells me that’s what it’s like to get older.  So I guess that by the time I’m at the age when that normally would start to happen, I’ll be freakin’ senile.

Anyway, I sat in the café reading, and occasionally walked around the store.  I was there from 9am after running until around 2pm.  I had to work at 5.  I had just finished my book and was thinking about giving up.  I probably missed some girls while my face was in the book anyway, but then SHE came in, and my heart dropped into my stomach, and my nerves made me kind of tremble.  The caffeine wasn’t helping.  I watched her walk up to the counter and order a coffee, then turn around and walk out the door.  Ok, so she didn’t get a book or read, but I also like a girl who likes coffee…

…However, I can’t finish this story now, Invisible Journal Reading People.  We’re going to the beach today.  Bogart has never been to the beach.  Pete has to work, and Cola’s going to Boston for the weekend because she has a studio where she works on her art, which I just learned about.  She’s been working in her room here now that she has more space than in Howard’s basement with me.  We actually allowed her the largest bedroom in the apartment for that purpose.  But yeah, the plans for the beach happened spontaneously last night with Astrid.  It will be me, her, and Bogart.  And so now I have to stop writing and get ready to go.  We’re going early so we can get back in time for me to work.

I’ll have to tell you about the girl another time.  I think I might be in love with her.  But it’s hard to tell, because it’s almost impossible to tell the difference between love and wanting sex, until you have sex, then you know it wasn’t love, but you just wanted to fuck her, but you’d love to fuck her again.  It’s just how I’m wired, I guess.

Yet with this girl, I believe it’s different.

My theme song today is Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf” because Bogart likes early 80’s music, including Duran Duran, and yeah it works thematically.



previous Grimm 199: Bogart Meets a Girl http://wp.me/p41c99-10z

next Grimm 201: Grimm Meets a Girl http://wp.me/p41c99-11j


For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 171-185 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 199: Bogart Meets a Girl

July  23, 2014


Iona decided she wanted a break from our relationship, which is just friendship but we have sex.  I hate the expression ‘friend with benefits’ because it’s used so much it irritates me.  Even writing it just now irritated me.  Because benefits means more than one thing anyway, and every part of sex is all one thing, so friend with benefit is more accurate.  And though sex is a benefit in any occasion, for some people it’s a privilege, for some it’s an honor, for some it’s a phenomenon.  Sex can be an act of deviance or a means of exploitation, a method of expression, a release, an endeavor, an event, a strategy, or an artform.  For me it’s a need.  Friend who gratifies my need.  That’s just stupid.  I guess I’m not clever today.

Anyway, she wants a break because she wants to be more than a friend who gratifies my need.  Though she probably doesn’t realize that she’s important to me, I trust her, which is valuable.  And there’s more but I don’t feel like writing about it at the moment.  But yeah, so that means I’m running alone again.  I prefer that because it’s kinda Zen and I’m more aware of the sensation of my muscles working, which feels really good, and then there’s the endorphin rush and runner’s high.  I don’t run long enough for that when I’m with Iona, so I don’t experience that so much.  Still, it sucks that she needs a break, but she’s got to do what she’s got to do.

Since I’m not running with her anymore, yesterday before work I asked Bogart to come with me.  It was one of the hottest days recently.  So maybe it wasn’t the best day to take him on his first time running since it was also the most humid day, which makes running more intense if you’re not used to it.  Yet I asked him to go and he said yeah.  I gave him some of my shorts to wear because he only has jeans.  He’s bigger and taller than me, but they fit all right with the stretchy waist band.  Trainers, which is what he calls sneakers, are the only shoes he has, so he was all set with that.

We don’t live far from what we call around here a bike path, even though people mostly walk and run on it.  We ran for about 10 minutes before we got there.  Once we were on the path, Bogart stopped and asked me where we were going and why we were in such a hurry to get there.  I said we weren’t going anywhere, just running.  He asked why.  I said because it’s healthy.  He was dripping from sweat which was getting in his eyes, so he lifted his shirt to wipe his face and said it didn’t feel healthy, why would we do this.  I said it’s exercise, it keeps you in shape, and it’s good to relieve stress, it helps clear the mind.  He was like, “Bloody ‘ell, it’s no’ clearin’ me mind, I can’t stop finking abou’ why we’re fuckin’ runnin’, to start.”

I handed him a water and said we’ll take a break, and we stood in the shade from a tree.  But then he saw a girl running in our direction from down the path.  He said, “Fuckin’ ‘ell look at ‘er.  Wha…”  And was rendered speechless.  As she approached and passed he of course addressed her.  “Oi allo, look at you, you’re a pre’y li’le fing aren’t you, oi where you goin’?  Don’t run off now, get back over ‘ere, come on now, oi stop, please.”  He said all that as she approached, passed, and continued on.  Amazingly, once he said please, she stopped and turned.  She was already about 50 yards away by then.  When she turned to face us, he called out, “Allo, love,” and waved in kind of a dorky way, then added, “get over ‘ere.”  I was kinda surprised that she began to walk towards us, and I told him I’d just stand over by another tree, yet he got nervous all of a sudden and asked me what to say.  I told him to not stare at her tits, don’t ogle her, don’t mention her tits or her body or sex.  I told him to focus on her face and to pay attention to whatever she says like it’s interesting, and look her directly in the eye.  He nodded, I walked over to another tree, took out my phone to look busy, and she made it over to him.

He said, “Allo.”


Then there was awkward silence.  He has a lot to say to girls he thinks are hot until he’s actually speaking to them.

She asked, “Where are you from?”

Bogart got confused by that and responded with, “I don’t know…” and looked at me.  I knew he thought she meant where he’s living, which I realized he didn’t know the name of our city, and he was also thinking about how he just came from an institution.

I clarified by explaining she wanted to know what country.

“Oh I’m from London.”

“I love your accent.”

“And I love…you’re… …lips.  They’re…good…on ya face.  Ya use ‘em to say int’restin’ fings….”

She laughed, and I wanted to laugh too, but I was essentially impressed that he took my advice, maybe too literally, but it charmed her, that’s for sure.

After about five minutes of small talk including an exchange of names, her name is Ashley, he came over to me and asked how to get her to fuck him, which also impressed me that he held back from coming right out with it to her and didn’t just grab her or something.  I said he can’t assume they will ever fuck, and she can’t know that’s all he’s interested in.  I said he has to try and get to know her, and maybe he’ll like her anyway and then she can be his girlfriend or whatever.  I explained that a lot of girls will be cautious about guys they don’t know, for safety reasons.  So I advised him to ask her on a date.

He went back to her, “Wan’a go on a date?”



She laughed, “No, let me give you my number and you can call me tonight.”

He nodded.

“What’s your number?”

“I fought ya were givin’ me yours.”

“Yeah, I’ll call yours, then you’ll have mine, and I’ll also know it’s you when you call.”

He was baffled.  And I didn’t think he knew his number.  So I approached, took out my phone and pulled up his contact info, then told her his number.  She called it, and after a little confusion about the fact that he was receiving a call and not understanding that he didn’t need to answer it, we parted ways with Ashley, who was very amused by him.

He said, “She’s fit, go’a ‘ave that.  I wan’a go ‘ome.  Runnin’ ‘urts me bollocks.”

So we walked home.  I have to work tonight, but Cola, Pete, and Astrid will be around, so I’ll tell them to instruct him prior to the phone call.  Maybe he’ll get a girlfriend out of this, hopefully laid at least.  The guy’s going to spontaneously combust from an overload of testosterone otherwise.

My theme song for this post is “Gloria”, The Doors’ version rather than the clean Van Morrison version, because I’m pretty sure this is what Bogart’s thinking.  It’s how I think most of the time.



previous Grimm 198: Bogart the Psychotic Acrobat http://wp.me/p41c99-104

next Grimm 200: Grimm on the Hunt http://wp.me/p41c99-10U

For anyone who’s never heard this version, it really is “dirty” so be aware of that.  The video’s pretty good, minimal added weird stuff, including…well, sorry about the bubbles.

For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

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