July 23, 2014
Iona decided she wanted a break from our relationship, which is just friendship but we have sex. I hate the expression ‘friend with benefits’ because it’s used so much it irritates me. Even writing it just now irritated me. Because benefits means more than one thing anyway, and every part of sex is all one thing, so friend with benefit is more accurate. And though sex is a benefit in any occasion, for some people it’s a privilege, for some it’s an honor, for some it’s a phenomenon. Sex can be an act of deviance or a means of exploitation, a method of expression, a release, an endeavor, an event, a strategy, or an artform. For me it’s a need. Friend who gratifies my need. That’s just stupid. I guess I’m not clever today.
Anyway, she wants a break because she wants to be more than a friend who gratifies my need. Though she probably doesn’t realize that she’s important to me, I trust her, which is valuable. And there’s more but I don’t feel like writing about it at the moment. But yeah, so that means I’m running alone again. I prefer that because it’s kinda Zen and I’m more aware of the sensation of my muscles working, which feels really good, and then there’s the endorphin rush and runner’s high. I don’t run long enough for that when I’m with Iona, so I don’t experience that so much. Still, it sucks that she needs a break, but she’s got to do what she’s got to do.
Since I’m not running with her anymore, yesterday before work I asked Bogart to come with me. It was one of the hottest days recently. So maybe it wasn’t the best day to take him on his first time running since it was also the most humid day, which makes running more intense if you’re not used to it. Yet I asked him to go and he said yeah. I gave him some of my shorts to wear because he only has jeans. He’s bigger and taller than me, but they fit all right with the stretchy waist band. Trainers, which is what he calls sneakers, are the only shoes he has, so he was all set with that.
We don’t live far from what we call around here a bike path, even though people mostly walk and run on it. We ran for about 10 minutes before we got there. Once we were on the path, Bogart stopped and asked me where we were going and why we were in such a hurry to get there. I said we weren’t going anywhere, just running. He asked why. I said because it’s healthy. He was dripping from sweat which was getting in his eyes, so he lifted his shirt to wipe his face and said it didn’t feel healthy, why would we do this. I said it’s exercise, it keeps you in shape, and it’s good to relieve stress, it helps clear the mind. He was like, “Bloody ‘ell, it’s no’ clearin’ me mind, I can’t stop finking abou’ why we’re fuckin’ runnin’, to start.”
I handed him a water and said we’ll take a break, and we stood in the shade from a tree. But then he saw a girl running in our direction from down the path. He said, “Fuckin’ ‘ell look at ‘er. Wha…” And was rendered speechless. As she approached and passed he of course addressed her. “Oi allo, look at you, you’re a pre’y li’le fing aren’t you, oi where you goin’? Don’t run off now, get back over ‘ere, come on now, oi stop, please.” He said all that as she approached, passed, and continued on. Amazingly, once he said please, she stopped and turned. She was already about 50 yards away by then. When she turned to face us, he called out, “Allo, love,” and waved in kind of a dorky way, then added, “get over ‘ere.” I was kinda surprised that she began to walk towards us, and I told him I’d just stand over by another tree, yet he got nervous all of a sudden and asked me what to say. I told him to not stare at her tits, don’t ogle her, don’t mention her tits or her body or sex. I told him to focus on her face and to pay attention to whatever she says like it’s interesting, and look her directly in the eye. He nodded, I walked over to another tree, took out my phone to look busy, and she made it over to him.
He said, “Allo.”
Then there was awkward silence. He has a lot to say to girls he thinks are hot until he’s actually speaking to them.
She asked, “Where are you from?”
Bogart got confused by that and responded with, “I don’t know…” and looked at me. I knew he thought she meant where he’s living, which I realized he didn’t know the name of our city, and he was also thinking about how he just came from an institution.
I clarified by explaining she wanted to know what country.
“Oh I’m from London.”
“I love your accent.”
“And I love…you’re… …lips. They’re…good…on ya face. Ya use ‘em to say int’restin’ fings….”
She laughed, and I wanted to laugh too, but I was essentially impressed that he took my advice, maybe too literally, but it charmed her, that’s for sure.
After about five minutes of small talk including an exchange of names, her name is Ashley, he came over to me and asked how to get her to fuck him, which also impressed me that he held back from coming right out with it to her and didn’t just grab her or something. I said he can’t assume they will ever fuck, and she can’t know that’s all he’s interested in. I said he has to try and get to know her, and maybe he’ll like her anyway and then she can be his girlfriend or whatever. I explained that a lot of girls will be cautious about guys they don’t know, for safety reasons. So I advised him to ask her on a date.
He went back to her, “Wan’a go on a date?”
She laughed, “No, let me give you my number and you can call me tonight.”
“What’s your number?”
“I fought ya were givin’ me yours.”
“Yeah, I’ll call yours, then you’ll have mine, and I’ll also know it’s you when you call.”
He was baffled. And I didn’t think he knew his number. So I approached, took out my phone and pulled up his contact info, then told her his number. She called it, and after a little confusion about the fact that he was receiving a call and not understanding that he didn’t need to answer it, we parted ways with Ashley, who was very amused by him.
He said, “She’s fit, go’a ‘ave that. I wan’a go ‘ome. Runnin’ ‘urts me bollocks.”
So we walked home. I have to work tonight, but Cola, Pete, and Astrid will be around, so I’ll tell them to instruct him prior to the phone call. Maybe he’ll get a girlfriend out of this, hopefully laid at least. The guy’s going to spontaneously combust from an overload of testosterone otherwise.
My theme song for this post is “Gloria”, The Doors’ version rather than the clean Van Morrison version, because I’m pretty sure this is what Bogart’s thinking. It’s how I think most of the time.
previous Grimm 198: Bogart the Psychotic Acrobat http://wp.me/p41c99-104
For anyone who’s never heard this version, it really is “dirty” so be aware of that. The video’s pretty good, minimal added weird stuff, including…well, sorry about the bubbles.
For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J
Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.