“The Absconded Journal of Wall Grimm as Told by Hasty” 213: Pockets Full of Sunshine and Rohypnol

I woke up looking at Grimm.

I was on my side in the bathroom floor with Grimm, Bogart, and Pete asleep next to me. My first thought was one of panic and memory searching. Flashes of the previous night danced through my mind. My first thought was that I had too many drinks despite my determination not to drink in support of Grimm’s sobriety.

Last night Pete tried to talk me into dressing up. I was in the shower and he was sitting on the side of the tub waiting his turn when we started talking about all the good times we’ve had in the past and how many different crazy outfits I had worn. I told him about the time I dressed like Emma Stone in Easy A and then we both started singing,

I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine
I’ve got a love and I know that it’s all mine
Do what you want, but you’re never gonna break me,
sticks and stones are never gonna shake me

Take me away (take me away)
A secret place (a secret place)
A sweet escape (a sweet escape)
Take me away (take me away)
Take me away (take me away
To better days (to better days)
Take me away (take me away)
A hiding place (a hiding place)

We laughed because although we both suck at singing we were stupid happy. I asked for a towel and switched places with Pete while he asked if I remembered to shave my cactus legs.  I told him no but I really just wanted to wear jeans and maybe a sparkly blouse to the club. He said ok but, “you should at least have one drink with me since I have to be out with you and your prickly legs!” I acquiesced but under the condition it was away from Grimm and ONLY one.

We got ready and met the others downstairs and packed into Astrid’s convertible. I was smooshed between Grimm and Pete. Bogart had the longest legs and Grimm was trying to keep us at arm’s length from each other. I was a bit hurt that Grimm didn’t trust me but then I was grateful because he was protecting me from myself. Astrid was beautiful, something about her eyes in the rear-view mirror and her hair blowing in the wind. She often seemed very introspective and that made me introspective.


Introspection is never a good thing. I’ve had so many things going on in my head lately. I’m prone to depression which can be really hard for friends and family to handle. In my experience depression isn’t just about being sad; it’s an irrational idea that you are completely worthless.

What gives us our worth? Is it our ability to do for others? Is it our contribution to society? Is it defined by our responsibilities? What if we don’t do for others and we stop contributing and our responsibilities are reassigned? Then we are replaceable and that makes us worthless…right?

Ok don’t run off and do anything irrational because those thoughts ARE truly irrational. Not to be dramatic… but who cares? If mosquitoes and scorpions are allowed to exist free from feelings of worthlessness then why can’t I? I mean I am not sucking anyone’s blood and giving them malaria. I’m not stinging everyone who steps on me, or ignores me, or leaves me, or….

I push people away in order to save them from my negativity but then I become more depressed because people are way too easy to push away and I think (or realize) they never needed me so I deserve to be alone, it’s better this way…really…it is…it’s ok!

So I was in the backseat between two of my very favorite people and I grabbed their hands and I held them. I didn’t dare look at them or I would cry. They squeezed my hand back and I continued looking forward letting their presence calm my thoughts. They are here. They love me.

Pete and I had taken a few shots (4 each because I have no willpower or resolve) at the bar before we met up at a table.  Astrid had the place reserve a spot for all of us at the front by the stage . The place was packed and filled with happy bluesy music.  I always notice the moments where everyone seems happy because for a moment everything slows down. Bogart and Grimm where in deep conversation, Astrid was slow dancing on the dance floor with an older gentlemen she seemed to know, and Pete was drooling over some guy playing saxophone. I asked Grimm who Astrid was dancing with and he said, “I don’t know but he is a regular and since Astrid has a bad back he will dance slow with her even if it is a fast song.”  I smiled at how beautiful that was.

After a few songs the band stopped and introduced Grimm. He surprised me by getting up on the stage without a pause.  OK, picture this… Here we are in a blues club and Grimm gets on stage, grabs a guitar, and after a quick huddle with the band, points at me and starts busting out…  I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine

My heart nearly burst while my smile nearly cracked my face in two.

The crowd was so quiet until the chorus and the whole joint started singing with him. It was amazing and I was so happy. I keep using the word happy but happy works; happy is a good word. I was happy and had started to feel tipsy so I excused myself to the restroom.

As I passed the bar a man grabbed my arm and asked me to join him for a drink. I told him no thanks but he was very persistent. I sat down had one shot and then said thank you but I have friends to get back too. I remember him grabbing my arm to keep me seated and then only flashes.

–We had another drink.

–I didn’t feel well

–Needed the bathroom

–Passed bathroom

–He pulled me through a door

–His voice was angry

–Sharp pain in my face

–My voice wasn’t working

–Bogart walked up and punched guy in the face

I woke up looking at Grimm. I remember not one thing after Bogart punched the guy in the face.  I was lying in the bathroom floor with a pounding headache, a racing heart, and I wondered what horrible things I might have done or said. I wondered if I ruined everyone’s night and if they would ever be able to forgive me.

I am sitting at the kitchen table writing these pages for Grimm while the boys are still sleeping in the bathroom floor. I found some blankets to cover them all up, packed my stuff, and checked on Cola who was still sound asleep but I think her fever has subsided. I had noticed my split lip and swollen cheek in the mirror above Cola’s vanity.

Astrid walked into the kitchen and sat next to me for a few minutes. She told me what happened after I blacked out; she hugged me really tight and said she was so happy to know me which of course made me cry.

I asked Astrid if she would give these pages to you Grimm. I hope you feel better knowing your journal wasn’t neglected. Please tell everyone goodbye for me because I am too embarrassed to stick around after Astrid told me the full story.

I know without a doubt I have some really great friends and I am very lucky they love me. I am lucky you love me Grimm. Thank you for taking care of me and I will send you a text later!

Signed your very grateful friend,


Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 211-235 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

“The Absconded Journal of Wall Grimm as Told by Hasty” 212: Cola Flu, Childish Behavior, with a Dash of Seriousness

I don’t know why but when Grimm told me he had a landlady named Astrid I immediately pictured Helen Roper from Three’s Company; and if you’ve never heard of Three’s Company then ugh. Anyway, since I knew I was going to be meeting her I had a dream about Mrs. Roper. I was Janet, Pete was Chrissy, and Bogart was Jack except sometimes Grimm was Jack. It was a dream so it made sense until I woke up. The dream consisted of a bunch of giggling and chasing each other around from one room– to the next room– to the next room– until somehow I got stuck trying to hide under the couch, at which point, I woke up.

Last night, I bunked with Pete and when I woke up he was laying on top of my calves sideways so we looked like an upside down crucifixion cross; which would explain why I got stuck under the couch in my dream. I sat up to feel his back to make sure he hadn’t suffocated. I always worry when someone sleeps with their head under the covers all night. He was still alive so I tried to lie still but it was driving me insane not being able to move; plus, my feet were tingling and I had to pee.

Pete wriggled out from under the covers and told me I needed to shave because I gave him a whisker burn on his chest; I responded by sticking my tongue at him. Pete and I always have to one up each other so he lunged at me, pinned me down, and made me smell his morning breath, which was god awful so I acted like he killed me. I guess I must have screamed before I played dead because Bogart and Grimm both crashed into the room in their skivvy’s where they found Pete straddling me and holding my hands above my head. Before anyone could respond Bogart crashed into Pete knocking him into the floor like a rag doll.

It was one of those slow motion scenes that looked cartoonish because Pete literally flew through the air. I had to press my lips together tight in order not to laugh (remember I laugh at inappropriate times) but when Bogart and Grimm both appeared with serious faces above me I nearly covered them in spit from the force of my laugh.

“Oh my gosh…. Pete… are… you… ok?” I asked through my laughter as I tried to peer over the edge of the bed at him. He was lying next to the bed motionless. I snapped into mom mode, jumped out of bed, and tried to assess the damage. Of course, I should have known better because when I bent down to check his breathing he started laughing. I called him a little shit and went to pee.

I finally met Astrid who is nothing like I pictured her. Everyone was hanging out having coffee and I had just finished taking a shower and getting dressed. She was very precise in all her movements and didn’t really say much. She was very laid back and seemed like a very confident person. She was leaning against the kitchen counter holding her mug to her face with both hands as if enjoying the smell of her coffee.

“I heard you had quite a morning?” she said looking at me with one eyebrow lifted higher than the other as she took a sip. I had a bit of trouble trying to decipher if it was a question or just a comment.

“Everything around these guys ends up being “quite” something or other.” I said as I jabbed Pete in the ribs. Astrid agreed with me and said she suspected I might be a bit of a handful myself. Pete jabbed me back and blurted “Ha”. I swear something about Pete turns me into a 12-year-old.

Just then Cola walked in with a bath towel over her head like a ghost and a big pink fuzzy blanket wrapped around her. Unfortunately, she had the flu and had been asleep the entire time I’d been here.

“Hi Hasty! I hate that I am sick!” came her puny voice muffled under the towel. I got up to give her a huge hug even though she was trying to slink away to avoid getting me sick. I told her I have mom antibodies so I don’t get sick. I made her a hot toddy and escorted her back to bed where I helped her get comfy.

When I got back to the kitchen, Astrid told me she was glad to meet me and would see me later tonight to which Grimm informed me we were all going to go to a Jazz Club. Once we were alone Grimm told me Bogart has been unusually quiet and that I might want to make sure he knows I am not mad for knocking Pete off the bed this morning. I told him I would and then we talked about the evening plans.

I have a problem hiding my emotions. Every time I look at Grimm I am reminded of a friend I had a few years back. My friend was about Grimm’s age, gay, good-looking and a bit of a mess. When I started to fall apart we parted ways. I guess looking back, things happened the way they needed to because now he isn’t so much of a mess and I am putting myself back together. Anyhow, Grimm reminds me of him.

I guess I wasn’t listening for a minute and was just sort of staring at Grimm with tears in my eyes because he asked if I was ok.

I just smiled and said, “I’m so proud of you!”

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 211-235 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“The Absconded Journal of Wall Grimm as Told by Hasty” 211: STRANGE TENDENCIES AND BURNT MARSHMALLOWS

When I meet someone for the first time I can be a bit much to handle; or as my husband would say, I am obnoxious. I’ve always considered myself an introvert because meeting people, or being around people in general, makes me anxious. However, ask anyone I know and they will all tell you I have an extrovert’s personality. I am flirty as a natural response to men and woman and I am a hugger.  Chances are if I am at a party then alcohol has been consumed because it makes it easier for me to be social.  I am also likely to give you a big kiss because I like kisses.  For the record, Grimm has forbidden me to kiss Bogart.  I am not the most appropriate person either because I might even try to show you my penis; which, of course, I don’t have, but the look on your face will make us both laugh.

I was nervous about meeting Bogart, Astrid, and Solenne but I also felt like I had already met them because Grimm has talked about them so often.  Actually, Grimm and I don’t talk much but we do text quite often because his breaks between classes coincide with my breaks at work. Anyway, I fell in lust love with Bogart because of his body accent but when I met Solenne later in the evening I fell in love with her for the same reasons. Being from Africa, she also had an accent but she also had really amazing lips which framed the most gorgeous smile I think I have ever seen. She probably thinks I’m a lesbian because I really couldn’t stop looking at her.

I love the way Grimm looks at Solenne and Bogart as if they are his family and maybe he doesn’t know it but I think they are his family. So is Pete but it’s different because they have been friends for a long time. I think being responsible for Bogart has given him an anchor, someone to be better for. Anyway, I tend to over analyze things so I am probably full of bologna.

After we played tag in the front yard, Grimm called Solenne and invited her over so we could all make a campfire and get to know each other. We made s’mores and decided against playing NEVER HAVE I EVER because all that game does is make people drudge up mistakes they wish they could leave buried.  Instead we played a made up game we called STRANGE TENDENCIES. Basically, we had to confess things we do that we don’t think anyone else does.


- If I am pumping gas I need to land on a dollar amount with .00 cents. I have a gas can in the back of my car just in case I have overfilled my tank and can’t squeeze another .02 into it.
– I have a terrible habit with leaving my clothes lying in the floor, or on dressers, or on the edge of the bed (pretty much wherever I take them off) but when I put them away they have to be hung by order of color and separated by season.
– I laugh at inappropriate times. Actually, laugh would be too tame of a word because normally I will end up in the floor like I’m having a terrible seizure. I am no longer allowed to go to funerals or parent teacher conferences.
– I am that crazy lady in line at the grocery store that will try to friend you on fb just because our groceries touched on the conveyor belt.
– I am the mom that will play songs like The Monster Mash or YMCA at the bus stop and try to get all the kids to dance even though it ends up embarrassing my daughter.
– I won’t have sex if I am cold. No… I don’t care that it might warm me up because most likely I am already warm under my avalanche of blankets.

I would share everyone else’s tendencies but I’ll let Grimm do that if he wants too. I have a strange tendency about not repeating other people’s strange tendencies.

Bogart sat next to me and despite what Grimm had told me previously about his flighty and out of control behavior he seemed really normal to me. He participated and had us all hysterical and hanging on every word. I think he even surprised Grimm with his lucid behavior.

Grimm is different but a good different. He is still easy and quirky and he still has a whole lot more going on behind those eyes than he lets on but he seems like he has everything together. I always got the impression that he could fall apart at any minute, like he was always trying to work everything out at once. But now he seems solid and confident and… hmmmm… maybe the word is proud.

It was an amazing night and I am full of burnt marshmallows.  Tomorrow I am looking forward to meeting Astrid.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 211-235 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

“The Absconded Journal of Wall Grimm as Told by Hasty” 210: Grade School Cooties and Face Lickers

I like to be silly and have fun.  I don’t much care what other people think about me or the things I do because I really try to do all things with a kind heart.  I feel like this is why Grimm and I get each other because he has a very kind heart.  Sometimes silly likes to masquerade as crazy and if you didn’t know a person is just silly you might think  they are crazy.  Or maybe that’s just me trying to rationalize why so many say I am crazy.

My point is, I think, that many times silly gets misinterpreted.  I’ve had a lot of people think I’m crazy so I’m not going to jump to any conclusions with Bogart.  Grimm told me about Bogart but I guess I’m more inclined to treat him as silly more than crazy.  Ok, I am rambling so I will get back to yesterday when I met Bogart for the first time.


After what seemed like a whole minute of Bogart bending over with his butt in my face eyeing me over his shoulder, he jumped up to face me like a sumo wrestler ready to wrangle. “oi! bwahahahahahaaaaa you’re a cheeky one!”  Then another minute passed while I stood there with a bemused smile on my face as he pondered who I was. He had that look like it was mating season,“ ‘o might you be then?”  I assumed the same sumo stance he had and responded in a high pitched voice, “I’m a squirrel and I came to fight you for your nuts!”

Just then, out of my periphery, I saw Grimm walk around the edge of the house where he froze seeing us in our Gorilla stances. “Hasty?” I didn’t divert my eyes from Bogart and maintained my stance, “Oh hey Grimm, I was just introducing myself to Bogart.” At this point Bogart and I were in a staring contest and neither one of us was going to blink first. “ ‘oi constable, is she for me?” he said without moving, “ cause I think this un ‘ere is crazy.” Grimm was still watching as he started to sing, “People are strange when you’re a stranger…” and when he realized neither of us knew he was singing the doors he replied, “No, she isn’t yours but you might be hers from the looks of it.”

Just then I laughed and charged Bogart as he took off running like we were playing a game of grade school cooties. I strolled closer to Grimm “Nice green kilt! Hope you’re wearing underwear this time ’cause tag you’re it” As Grimm started running after me, Pete had just innocently came out of the house so he got tagged instead of me. Pete stood there a moment taking us all in.  Bogart was at the far corner of the yard in his skivvy’s, Grimm was still running in my direction to hide behind a big tree, and I was on the ground laughing uncontrollably.   Then, without any facial indication he knew what we were doing, he strolled into the yard a few feet before he started chasing Bogart with a big goofy smile on his face.  Pete was kind of slow so Bogart was teasing him with a “come on and show me what ya got” dance as he ran backwards.

Bogart is pretty agile. He was jumping back and forth and ducking and dodging like a boxer.  I like boxers.  I slowly made my way to stand next to Grimm when I nearly tripped over my own two feet watching Bogart.  I made a mental note to be careful as I noticed I was also drooling.  Grimm seemed to notice, “Oh no Hasty, don’t you dare!” he said, “I have a hard enough time calming him down without you riling him up.” I smiled so big I could feel air on my gums.  Grimm always made me happy, he just had a way about him.  “I’ve missed you” I said and we were hugging when Bogart and Pete leaped around the tree and surprised us.

“Hasty!  I didn’t know you were coming.  I am so happy to see you.” I turned to give Pete a hug and noticed that Bogart was watching so I licked Pete’s face. “Yumm… you are still as tasty as you were last time I saw you!”   He laughed and licked my cheek back and said, “You are tastier!” and we both broke down laughing.

Finally, I stood and faced Bogart again and held out my hand to shake his, “Hi!  I’m Hasty!”

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“The Absconded Journal of Wall Grimm as Told by Hasty” 209: Bogart And His Man Panties Full Of Nuts

Grimm has been so busy with school, mentoring Bogart, and being a good boyfriend to his new girlfriend that he has been struggling to find time to write. Last night he also confessed how much he missed writing in his journal and I knew I wanted to help him out. My name is Hasty and since he doesn’t have time to write I thought I would write a few journal entries for him.

Grimm and I met a year and a half ago at a gay bar. We both had blue hair and we were both flirty but not in a naughty way. He doesn’t realize how much I needed to have a good night that night and how he probably saved my life. Some things are better left in the past but needless to say I love Grimm. He is one of those friends I know will always be in my life.

I love hanging out with Grimm because he makes me feel young and I love the looks we get when we are together. People always assume I snagged myself a hot young boyfriend because we seem so close but this makes us both laugh because other than one quick short kiss the night I met him we have never been inappropriate. He is super attractive and exactly my type but I am married and he is much too young. I love the way we are because it feels so easy to just be us.

I haven’t seen Grimm or his roommate Pete in what seems like forever. Two days ago my husband and daughter left to go on a cruise without me for a week because I couldn’t get off work, so I decided to take a mini vacation to surprise Grimm. I never just show up places unannounced but I felt comfortable enough with them to do it. Since I had never been to their new house and I am terrible at following directions it took me some time to find the right house.

At one point, I pulled off the highway because I was running low on gas. I have never driven so many miles trying to find a gas station before in my life. In fact, I was fairly certain I had just been thrown into an episode of the living dead because there were a bunch of people out just wandering the streets as if they had nowhere special to go. Two of the people I passed were in wheelchairs. One of them was a man with a beard in a wedding dress just wheeling himself down the road and the other was in a blue bath robe at the end of a driveway drinking out of a bottle wrapped in a plastic grocery bag. I also may or may not have seen a few young kids wearing Spongebob footie pajamas carrying Uzis.

I finally stopped at an old mechanic’s shop to ask for directions. If you are picturing this like a horror movie then you understand how fast my heart was beating. The man, who looked like an older and more wrinkly version of Lurch from The Addams Family, seemed nice enough but didn’t speak English.  I determined, by the way his eyes kept darting, that I needed to go right.  My car began to sputter as I asked Siri to locate the closest station. Twelve minutes away was the best she could do. Luckily, I went right and ran into one that Siri didn’t know about.

I finally arrived in front of a nice Victorian house with a very good-looking man standing in the front yard with his back to me wearing only his briefs. I smiled because I had never met Bogart but I definitely had heard a lot about him and THIS was definitely Bogart. He was collecting nuts off the ground and sticking them in his briefs so he didn’t notice me when I pulled up and got out of my car.

“You know you probably don’t need to stuff your man panties full of nuts because the two you have are probably sufficient!” I casually said as he was basically mooning me to get a few more nuts.

He stopped in stooped position and looked back over his shoulder.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments


I, Hasty, have kidnapped Sage Doyle.

It took a bit of chloroform and maybe some straps and a gurney convincing but he finally gave me his sacred blog passwords.

The truth is Sage was sick, then he was busy trying to catch up, and then his computer got sick and died. He is currently trying to revive his computer which is why he has been missing.

He was really hoping to return to the Grimm world by now but I decided to kidnap him and Grimm’s world to give him a bit more time.

Don’t worry I will let him go eventually because I miss his writing and his stories just like all of you do.  Please remember I am not a writer or a storyteller like Sage is, so be gentle with me.

In the meantime,  let’s see what kind of trouble Hasty, an ongoing character in The Journal of Wall Grimm, can stir up in the Grimm world over the next week.



Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Damn I Was Sick

I was sick for about 2 weeks.  The past several days I’ve been aiming to return to Grimm’s world, but as I have so much to catch up on in terms of comments, follows, likes, emails, Twitter, and Facebook, I’m thinking I want to take a little time to do all of that before I begin blogging again.  Otherwise, it will be overwhelming to blog and catch up simultaneously.

I know you’ve heard one excuse after another from me for a few months with my extended vacation, the work on my novel, and then once I finally returned I got really sick.  I haven’t checked any of my social media for a few weeks and I have to say it’s amazing to come back to see that even in my absence people have been coming by.  I’m very honored.  I’m also impressed by your patience and dedication, and I appreciate it deeply.

Again, I think catching up first will make it easier for me.  You know when you’ve put something off and the work builds, it’s kind of hard to push yourself to do it, so this is the process that will work best for me.  I just wanted to write this post so that no one would think I was either dead or not coming back at all.  I’m not going to give a time frame, but be assured that I’ll be working on it.  Once I’m satisfied with my progress, I anticipate the return of Grimm and my poetry.

Thanks yet again for not giving up on me!

Take care,


Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | 23 Comments

Where I am Now

I was finally catching up in the blog/social media world when things got a little crazy last week.  Errands and appointments and responsibilities took much of my spare time, as it happens in the non-cyber world.  Then, as Saturday was approaching and I was anticipating that I would write a Grimm, I woke up very sick.  I’ve been kind of a foggy-headed laid up invalid since then.  It hit me hard.  Anyway, I’ll be back sometime this week to resume writing and attempt once again to catch up on things.

Thanks for your patience!



Categories: NOTES FROM SAGE DOYLE | 20 Comments

“In Difference”

Originally posted on SageDoyle:

It is natural but I hate it
this process and passing
as I sit by and watch
forced to allow its course
I want to cease it
perhaps to slow it down
I must deceive it
the worst of what is yet to come
and every day I notice more
and can do nothing
every day I say goodbye
yet cannot let go
Then I foresee years ahead
after all has happened
as the mystery of this time
foreshadows what lies before me
and I grieve what I see
regretting what is possible
although this end I can alter
for in truth if one is willing
there is the chance to change direction
there is the hope to begin again
however the purpose might oppose me
fighting is all I need to do
as I embark upon another course
emerging a better difference
though still I am burdened with inability
amidst my struggle to learn how

View original

Categories: RANDOM GRIMM-NESS | 5 Comments

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 208: The Drunken Maiden’s Morning After

October 2, 2014


I realize I never finished my story about the drunken maiden.  It’s not a big deal or an amazing story, I just want to finish it because it includes an important message I want to convey to myself.  I guess I left off with how I stayed up all night with her while she was puking.  Then we both fell asleep on the bathroom floor.  When I woke I carried her to my room and put her in my bed, then I went to sleep in Pete’s room because he was getting up.  The story continues with the next day.

So Pete had gone off for the day and Cola was in her room/studio painting, sculpting, whatever piece of art she was working on.  It was a Sunday so I had to work later, but once Bogart and I were up, we went out back.  I was hanging out with Astrid while Bogart was jumping on the trampoline.  He can jump for hours.  That’s an exaggeration, but it doesn’t seem like it.  You’d think he’d get tired, but it gets him more energetic.  His medication is supposed to make him sleepy, but it only does briefly after taking it, or sometimes he just crashes.  And then it’s quiet.  And then I remember what quiet sounds like…

Anyway, Megan didn’t remember anything about the night before, so when she met Cola the next morning, Cola explained why I brought her home with me.  When Cola mentioned my name, Cola told me later, Megan said, “Oh my god, I left the bar with someone named Grimm??”

When Cola brought her out back, I stood and shook her hand, since she didn’t remember me and Cola had to introduce us.  Megan said, “Oh thank god you’re Grimm.”

I was perplexed.

She said, “I was worried you might be some kind of slimy creep.”

“I’m not?”


I took that as a compliment. I’m hardly some kind of slimy creep.  That’s good.

At that point, Bogart leaped off the trampoline and came running over, looked at me while pointing at Megan, and said, “‘At’s a girl.”  I imagined if the scene had been filmed you’d see Astrid seated while Cola, Megan and I were standing.  Then off in the distance you see Bogart flipping around on the trampoline, then while he’s up in the air, arms and legs spread out, you’d see those lines like in cartoons coming out of his head or maybe an exclamation point.  Then the camera would focus on us from an angle without Bogart in the back and you’d hear the sound of rapid cartoon running and he’d seemingly appear out of no where. Or you wouldn’t hear the running at all and he’d just suddenly be there saying, “‘At’s a girl.”  Bogart is very much like a cartoon character at times.  I think he sees the world in animation anyway so that makes sense.

We introduced her to Bogart and he said, “Wot’s she doin’ ‘ere?  Is she for me?”

Hmmmm sometimes I wish I could be inside his head.  Just for a day.

Then he had to point out yet again that Cola was “a bloke in a dress.”  And once again we told him “no masterstating.”  “bwahahahahaaahahaa spot on!”

Megan really liked Bogart, to the extent that I was a little annoyed, since I was the one who brought her home, I guess there was that territorial thing going on, even though I didn’t want her.  I was in the wings with Solenne and not in a relationship.  I was free to be with anyone, but focused on Solenne.  That is still our status, by the way.

Megan was feeling pretty sick, so I went to the store to buy her Coke and crackers, getting Astrid butts, wine, toilet paper, and cat food while I was out.  I also bought Astrid a candle that smells like cookies because she burns candles all the time.  She is so happy when you give her a candle.  It’s the simplest way I’ve ever known to make someone that happy.  I like to do that for her.

When I got back from the store, Megan’s interest in Bogart had diminished, but I think that was due to her hangover.  He’s the last person you want to be around when you have a hangover.  He’s loud, he never stops talking, he bounces around you like a dog-sized puppy, and your headache and nausea are aggravated when you strain to understand him through his accent.  He had been pestering her to either jump on the trampoline with him, or go have sex with him, or at least give him a blow job.  He told her that I have a blowjob girlfriend and he wants one too.  Ah, the ironically innocent honesty.

After she ate crackers and drank Coke and took more Tylenol, she showered and freshened up, borrowing some of Cola’s makeup.  Then I took her home on the way to work.  In the car she asked if we could go out together sometime.  And I guess this is why I wanted to tell this story, because I said no.  Typically I’d have said yes, if only to get laid or something.  I take her as an easy fuck.  But I said no because she also seems to be too much in party mode and kinda careless.  I’m done that phase in my life and I don’t want it back even if it’s someone else’s world.  And I don’t want to have to take care of her.  I want someone who can take care of themselves.  I like taking care of people, that’s not the issue, it’s just I guess I need someone who is kind of where I’m at in life, the phase I’m going through now.  I don’t want to step backwards.  Also, I struggle with my own ability to be responsible, and I often rebel against people, situations, and myself.  This means that if I am forced into responsibility by external things, like other people, and it’s not my own choosing or at my own pace, it could set me back.  I’m using psychology on myself.  Saying no to her was the result of self preservation, even if it was based on my superficial judgment of what she’s all about.  Of course, the superficial judgment was validated by my Gypsy psychicisms.  I didn’t say any of that to her, but I explained that I was interested in someone else.  She took it well, so I guess it’s not that big of a disappointment that she didn’t have a chance with me, even though I’m hardly some kind of slimy creep.

When I walked her to her door, her parents came out.  I didn’t like them.  In fact, they wicked sucked.  They shouted at her that she never called, and they shouted at me, saying, “what did you do to her?”  They blamed me still even after she described what happened.  They accused me of getting her drunk and taking advantage of her.  She said I didn’t, but they insisted she couldn’t know that if she was unconscious or blacked out.  I was sure they were going to call the police until they finally calmed down.  But they told me that if they find out anything happened, I’d better look out.  They also threatened that if I ever went there again or tried to contact her, I’d regret it.  Geesh, and I was feeling good about myself for being a nice guy.  After that I felt like an asshole even though I did nothing wrong.

And that’s the story of the drunken maiden that I haven’t seen since, and have no intentions of seeing again.  Bogart’s asked about her, wants her to come around to give him a blow job, even after he told her to her face that Megan was a stupid name.  I know that you Invisible Journal Reading People are probably wondering whatever happened with Bogart’s girl Ashley, but again, those details will come later.

My theme song for today is “Sunday Morning Coming Down” performed by Johnny Cash and written by Kris Kristofferson, because it reminds me how I used to be, just like the situation with Megan did.  I need these reminders to keep me from getting that way again.



previous Grimm 207: Brief Boringness, Undulating Brain Waves, and Grimm’s Philosophy of Attraction http://wp.me/p41c99-13m

For a list with links to all the previous journal entries go to: http://wp.me/P41c99-J

Check out the Character Directory Pages to learn about characters mentioned in each post.

Categories: JOURNAL ENTRIES 186-210 | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

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